Apart from our petty political and national differences those of us who live here are all pretty much the same I suspect.

I spent New Year's Eve at a fairly typical Australian party where the hostess introduced me to a bevy of single women of advancing age. The introduction of "Here's sceadugenga from Thailand" brought strange looks to their faces and I was pointedly avoided until their fourth or fifth drink hit home. There was no doubt that I was different... normal men didn't live in Thailand, or even go near the place unless accompanied by wives and "The Lonely Planet Guide To Indo-Chinese Temples".

So are we different?

Why do we live here with our Thai wives, Thai girlfriends or our addiction to Thai prostitutes?

What are your old school mates doing now? Boring jobs? Clubs? Second marriages to women a mere five years younger than them? Speaking a language they were born to rather than one they suspect they will never master or discuss more than the most basic topics?

Are we luckier than them or have we missed something important?

I deliberately haven't put this topic in Bedlam as I suspect that our much loved female members will treat it with the contempt I suspect it deserves.

Hopefully they won't see it here.

I've recently become reacquainted with many old friends through Face book and I have been surprised how jealous they all are - a successful businessman in paradise.

I usually don't bring the hooker thing up until they do - but it is not so well known in America. Most of them seem envious about that as well and I'm talking about a decent number of middle-aged women.

Good topic, The women should be welcome.

I seldom go home now. It's expensive, lots of trouble, etc. And few people in my age cohort (55-70) understand. They're usually on marriage 2, 3 or 5, addicted to hetero sex with someone of similar age and background, retiring from successful professional careers, etc. This is their life, suburbia and hamburgers and big cars, breakdowns and failures mingled with triumph. My classmates are preparing for the 50th reunion, if they survived. They'd be jealous of all my blond hair, confused by my final gender choice, amazed that a gay man raised the last 4 kids on my own while finishing an impressive career. Retiring early, learning Spanish, risking my life, the beach house, Then being a high school teacher in Thailand!

No serious regrets, that I'm here. I pity them.

Interestingly our OTB contributers seem more interested in endlessly repeptitive arguments about the wonders/faults of the US etc than sharing their thoughts on why they choose to physically reject their countries of origin.

Does the phrase "desperate women" answer your question?

Interestingly our OTB contributers seem more interested in endlessly repeptitive arguments about the wonders/faults of the US etc than sharing their thoughts on why they choose to physically reject their countries of origin.

I'm not sure what you're expecting here. I'm an American. If I were to go into why I "chose to physically reject my country of origin" wouldn't that include "arguments about the wonders/faults of the US"?

I usually don't bring the hooker thing up until they do - but it is not so well known in America. Most of them seem envious about that as well and I'm talking about a decent number of middle-aged women.

I chose Thailand for three reasons:

1) The hot climate is better for my health,

2) It's affordable to live here.

3) Internet is fast enough for my job - although it could certainly be better.

I wasn't aware of how the bar girl scene worked before arriving. While a nice perk at times, it's not enough to keep me here like it does so many others.

Unlike most of you, I don't live with a Thai woman (or man). The ladies have their charms that's for sure but I would want someone I can communicate better with. I know too many people here who sound like Yoda when having a conversation with their companion. Not for me and that's my personal choice. Besides, I'm planning to make a move in the near future and there's no room for someone with a sick buffalo at home.

As for connecting with old school friends via Facebook, I hear how lucky I am so much I'm starting to believe it. Well, not exactly. The "You are soooo lucky" is starting to sound like "Handsome man! Welcome!". I play it down telling them how lucky they are to have a family with wonderful children, etc. Of course I'm lying.

Good topic, btw. Something that could highlight our similarities rather than our differences should be a good thing.

Interestingly our OTB contributers seem more interested in endlessly repeptitive arguments about the wonders/faults of the US etc than sharing their thoughts on why they choose to physically reject their countries of origin.

former ThaiVisa member "chinthee" once commented that "Thailand is easy on the brain". I think he summed things up pretty well.

As to why I don't live in the US, well I just don't like it there. I could give you lots of reasons. I'm not a consumer and it's a consumerist society. The media is pervasive and all day everyday they're trying to get you to care about something(in the most contentious of ways) you just don't care too much about and the next week they change it to something else. Politicians are scum. I woke up everyday owing someone $100, usually for no particular reason. Whether it was ever true or only a myth the countrys ideals have been co-opted by foreign allegiances and global corporate interests.

I don't kid myself that those things aren't happening here in Thailand too, but for the most part I am blissfully unaware and because of that my life feels more free. I know I'm just buying time but that's good enough for now.

Interestingly our OTB contributers seem more interested in endlessly repeptitive arguments about the wonders/faults of the US etc than sharing their thoughts on why they choose to physically reject their countries of origin.

But there is so much to argue about!

I don't live there so any comment I make would be that of an outsider.

I hope to live there one day.

I will venture to say though, that it probably does take a special sort of person to enjoy living in a different culture from that in which they grew up. Many of the city slickers that I know here just would not fit in there. Their values are different probably.

I think I have seen a few threads on TV commenting on the number of oddball farang in Thailand. It's not suprising that there are "lost boys".

That's not to say one has to be odd to live there.

I always liked this.

"I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have known from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known. Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels that he belongs. Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest."

— W. Somerset Maugham

I always liked this.

"I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have known from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known. Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels that he belongs. Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest."

— W. Somerset Maugham

I found that place - and the climate really sucks.

I always liked this.

"I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have known from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known. Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels that he belongs. Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest."

— W. Somerset Maugham

Freaky, I was just going to mention W. Somerset Maugham on your book thread because I have HIM on my bookshelf, but no books from the last decade. (...and you'd made the reference to Joyce)

Such an appropriate quote for this thread.

I empathise completely with this quote.....as I still have not reached home...wherever that may be.

How much Thoreau can I recall... "Why must we be in such desperate to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he marches to the beat of a different drummer, however measured and far away."

I'm a big Maughm fan, and I love Thailand, but I still maintain that if the women were not so willing, almost none of us would be here.

There's certainly a lot of people in denial about this General.

Personally I came for the temples and the shopping and stayed because a dog adopted me.

Such a good topic and it gets derailed after only 10 posts.

I was born with an embedded sense of wanderlust.  I have been to over 100 countries, "living" for any length of time in about 12 of them.  I do love the US for a myriad of reasons, but I could never see myself doing the normal routine there.  Pretty much my US life has been as a student, a Marine, and a professor, not the normal run-of-the-mill life.

I made friends with some Thais while I was getting my doctorate, and that opened doors, so I came here.  Overall, I like it here, but I have more of a "normal" routine here than  ever did back in the US. My ability to travel and the exoticness of the place probably tempers that, though.

But it is hard to say why Thailand.  I like the food, but I like the food in many places.  Some of my absolute best friends are Thai, but I do have friend elsewhere.  My interaction with women is pretty much the same except the average age of a Thai woman with whom I go out is maybe 10 years younger than in any western country, Korea, Taiwan,  or Japan (but a few years older than in the Philippines.)

For whatever reason, though, I feel comfortable here, and I would not be surprised if I make this the base of my operations for the rest of my life.

I will jump in here since some of you think I am "lost" anyway.

I started coming here in the mid-70's, primarily as a tourist. I had a good friend married to a Thai lady and, through them, had met many Thai's in Tehran. The convinced me to come and see the place.

I first came on vacation for a couple of weeks and really liked the place. I spent a week in BKK and one week in Pattaya. I had my US wife and children with me then so it was really about temples and sightseeing. Didn't get into the other scene until a few years later, after my divorce.

I returned in the early 80's and fell in love with the place, the golf scene and the many friendships I had developed over the years. To say the women did not contribute to my desire to return on a regular basis would not be accurate. I was working in Saudi on a defense contract and was in good physical shape and was, actually, a hansum man. My current wife has seen pictures and she says I looked like Kevin Costner. In fact she still reminds me of this when it is time for me to give her the monthly stipend to run the house. Strange how her memory works.

Back to my story. I went back to the states between assignments in 1988 and spent three months there. It drove me crazy. The PC crowd had taken over and I simply could not adjust to this way of thinking. I moved to Thailand and have rotated betwseen LOS and Saudi for the past 20 years.

I finally retired in late 2008 and there was never any doubt where I would retire. I own two homes in Thailand and none in the US. This factor made the decision even easier. I am happily married living up-country in Isaan.

Now I need to close this as my wife has brought me my coffee and American breakfast. Living here is a no-brainer for me.

"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster

The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free

You'll find a god in every golden cloister

And if you're lucky then the god's a she

I can feel an angel sliding up to me."

Reminds me about a thread I started when a newbie here. I wanted to know the difference between mak rook and chess.

I was given a link to an online mak rook site.....still haven't got into it yet.

My previous company brought me here and said: Do whatever that needs to be done. The company I work for now says the same.

I'm approaching my fourth week away from Thailand and I'm definitely fidgety. I see friends and family daily and it's becoming a chore. (See? I speak 'Merkin for the benefit of our American cousins.)

I shouldn't have said that... my apologies, but I did say I'm getting fidgety.

My wife rang and said she's painting the house. If she sounded like Yoda I never noticed. I was too busy thinking about what she was painting and with what. Last time she initiated major works in my absence I arrived home to the sight of stick down carpet on my polished timber floor in the upstairs bedroom.

I want to go to the Lao PDR when I get back. My wife will ask extremely difficult questions like "Why do you want to go to Lao?"

She's a conservative of the type that would make ours look like Trotsky. She believes no good comes of going to places like Lao unless it involves bombing it.

I don't know why I want to go to Lao, so I'll probably change my mind. I was there once and the army arrested me at two in the morning. They ignored my assertions that I was a Socialist. Silly thing to say anyway, Communists and Fascists alike shoot Socialists first after the revolution.

Maybe I should have posted this in Bedlam.

On polished wood floor, carpet she stuck.

This time, on exposed timber beams, paint she will brush.

I cringe at the thought.

Sounds like it is time for you to go home.

I came here completely by chance.

I was never actively seeking to live abroad but after landing a job here 13 years ago in a field that I have always been passionate about. I also have found that I have access to more opportunities in Thailand than I would back in the UK. So for me, that usually more than makes up for the frustration I have to deal with in the workplace.

The fact that my lifestyle here is also so good and cost of living so reasonable just cements my satisfaction.