big points for

*saying "hey you" to other Farang and "Look, Farang", pointing and laughing at them.

*agreeing completely with double pricing and always paying the Thai price

*buying condoms Asian size proudly in loud Thai at 7/11 of course

*first one standing up at the hymn and checking rigorous which Farang still sits

*yearly participant at the eat most spicy prik kee nu and dance the ramwong contest

...

Who would want to be?

OK. House checklist.

The remains of last night's dinner on the kitchen table under a domed cover to keep the insects off.

A kitchen cabinet containing 100s of sauce sachets from various fast food delivery services.

Various fluffy toys ( as those won at a fairground ) in a glass fronted cabinet in the living room.

A red hot multi plug with every electrical item in the room plugged into it. It may or may not be buzzing.

Everyone wants to feel special and different.

The tourist wants to think his tour is more unique and insightful than every other foreigners. The expat wants to think he's more integrated than the next one. The linguist wants to think he's more fluent. The man with an interest in Thai history wants to think he's done more research than anyone else. One interested in the minutia of the Wai wants to think he grasps it more fully than other people.

A lot of it sounds fairly dumb. "I'm more Thai than you because I can purchase goods from a hardware store" or "I can walk through a market and know the names of things."

I think Thai people are weird, but I certainly think foreigners are just as strange, if not more so.

OK. House checklist.

The remains of last night's dinner on the kitchen table under a domed cover to keep the insects off.

A kitchen cabinet containing 100s of sauce sachets from various fast food delivery services.

Various fluffy toys ( as those won at a fairground ) in a glass fronted cabinet in the living room.

A red hot multi plug with every electrical item in the room plugged into it. It may or may not be buzzing.

As i sit here, pizza companies herbs are being thrown onto todays breakfast !

and the multi plug is buzzing from the laptop, printer and fan plugs.. !!

I was more Thai than the average farang last night.....as i woke up in bed this morning still fully clothed !

As I eat my Thai lunch at work, as I wander the factory as the only non-Thai there, I feel a bit Thai when communicating to my friends in the US, Europe, and Africa.  Then I jump in my car, drive home to my nice condo, then cook up a nice artichoke pasta and gazpacho, and watch Discovery on the television.

Last week, I drove to Naratiwat.  I helped put some computers together for a small school, got up at three in the morning to tap rubber trees, rolled out the mats of rubber by 9:00 AM, then wilted in the heat in a small concrete house until evening when I went to a small roadside market to get chicken which had been sitting out in the heat all day.  Then, I ate, then sat in front of a small three-channel Thai television getting eaten by mosquitoes until I could fall asleep again.

One thing all that confirmed to me is that despite my hankering for spicy food, I am NOT Thai, nor do I want to be!!!!!!!!!

My favourites are the ones who think Thai people love them. Because they offer you something nasty to drink that does not mean they love you. These are same people who... oh <deleted>, I can't be bothered. THAI RAK THAI was a popular movement for a reason, folks. It speaks Volumes.

We have parties like that in England called, hmmm.. "BNP" and they are real pillars of the community. Reveered by all. NOT.

But just to show I have a sense of humour about it.

You are really THai, when drive 500m down the wrong hard shoulder to avoid drive 2-3kms and making a U turn. I am proud to say I was a party to this on Friday. My New years resolution, to be "more" thai.

No I am just looking for a wife to cheat on, some kids to abandon and some farang to pester for free drinks. I know I should probably by some flip flops too. And I must stop reversing my bike into parking spots. Dead givaway that too much thought is going on.

well...I can tick all of the OP's boxes....but I have no dream to become Thai....just love it here that's all.

I feel seriously inconvenienced when I find that a toilet doesn't have butt gun installed.

I feel you. I'll nearly shit myself holding on for a toilet with a bum gun rather than the nearest one with tissue. That's the one thing I don't like about the classier hotels-usually paper only.

I got over that problem...even when home in the UK...I just flush the loo...then use the water in the bowl to scrub my bum...with several flushings.... also careful to wash my hands after...

have you noticed how few Thais bite their fingernails...now there is a reason for that.....

Eeeeiiwwwww... :D

I wear a bum-bag around my neck even when I'm back in Oz.

So, there.

have you noticed how few Thais bite their fingernails...now there is a reason for that.....

yes but they pick their nose with the same fingers .

But the one's that have to have cracked it and become real Thai are those who wai the gogo dancers.

Just thought of another

I can sneak out of the house without telling anyone I'm going or where.

I pick my nose in public

Stand on the toilet seat

My Tv has two settings Off or full volume.

My name is soon to be Sombat ...

Beat that farangs...

Shouldn't that be Sanjeev ?

All I know, is that I am more me than anyone else I know.

Everyone wants to feel special and different.

The tourist wants to think his tour is more unique and insightful than every other foreigners. The expat wants to think he's more integrated than the next one. The linguist wants to think he's more fluent. The man with an interest in Thai history wants to think he's done more research than anyone else. One interested in the minutia of the Wai wants to think he grasps it more fully than other people.

A lot of it sounds fairly dumb. "I'm more Thai than you because I can purchase goods from a hardware store" or "I can walk through a market and know the names of things."

I think Thai people are weird, but I certainly think foreigners are just as strange, if not more so.

Methinks you're a bit too tightly wrapped for this thread.

Lighten up a little bit and ejoy the levity of the moment.

Or is that being "too Thai" for you as well?

All I know, is that I am more me than anyone else I know.

Deep maaaan

Winnie, i'm just back from seven, got some shrimp flavor potato chips and deposited the 3 baht change to my left ear while heading back home with my motocy. How many points i score ?

That's three points. You chose shrimp flavor over something Farangy like cheese & onion, you bothered with 3 baht change, and you did it on a motorbike..

I just came back from Tesco Express and bought eggs, ham and ice. I realized that's not particularly Thai, so I also stopped at the soy milk auntie and got some nice soy milk, one bag including assorted shrapnel. (err, song khrueang) Still, that's only one point.

Deduct five points for the soy milk, Thai chinese doesn't count as being "real" Thai !

Oh yeh..... how did I forget ..... Connections to Police Officers - No self respecting former Farang could be without his wallet full of Police officer name cards.

oh man funny you posted that. had zero until last week now i have 4....<deleted>

thai

1 married to pretty thai lady 3 kids

2 drink at thai bars

3 have many thai friends

4 live cheap

5 live outside the city-chiang mai

6 follow thai news

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

not thai

1. still crave western food

2 have not learned to speak thai

3 will not can not no way am i going to eat while sitting on the ground

4 rarely wei

5 go to a wat 1 time a year and only if the wife makes me

Add 5 points for taking paracetamol as the initial cure for all illness

And 5 more points for going straight to the doctor at the first sign of a runny nose or cough.

Plus 10 points for having at least 20 sai sin hanging from each wrist.

Usually at least 3 months old, and now just a dirty tangled mess, most Thais cut them off the next day, however the wanabee shows us just how Thai he is by waiting for them to rot and drop off.

So far I'm 38 points in the hole, and that's not including wanting to keep my beard.

Do I deduct any more for being totally bald?

most Thais cut them off the next day

not in my experience.

add 5 points of you have remnents of the string tied from your spirit house to the main house.

add 5 points if you've ever give anything in offering to the spirit house. (red fanta -1 whiskey +2)

add 5 points if you are pay rent for a mia noi

add 5 point if you are paying any contribution towards higher education in lew of sexual favours

add ten points if you chew with your mouth open in public (another 2 if you speak and spit food at the same time, laughing)

add 2 points if you wear a bum bag. full 5 points if you wear it over 1 shoulder.

most Thais cut them off the next day

not in my experience.

not in mine either, minimum about 3 days then untie - certainly not 'cut'

and then there are those of us who choose places like samui so that we do not need to be thai.

Whats with the bum bag? I don't know many Thais who wear a bum bag.

Did anyone recall adding points for personal grooming in the mirror while perched on one's motorbike?

Add three points if you burn your garbage.

Add two points if "Tiger Balm" is always within reach.

Deduct one point if you use "Tiger Balm" while burning your garbage.