grandad was a proud yorkshireman and many a time was spent listening to his stories about what hardships he went through whilst growing up on a farm in the yorkshire dales. the usual stuff about walking 2 odd mile to school in a pair of hobb nail boots and you were lucky if you got a tangerine and a bag of nut for christmas.

having recently become a father though, ive found myself looking at life in a different light. its only normal i suppose, that along with the fact that i hit the big 40 this year. i know it happens to us all but, time seems to be moving that much quicker now.

so whilst watching my young daughter start to grow, i have spent quite a lot of time thinking about how different her life is going to be. compared to say my life when i was growing up as a child back in the u.k.

the oddest of things stick in your mind and how normal they seemed at the time but, how odd and funny they may seem once i start explaining some of the things i used to do to my daughter.

theres been highs and lows, funny and sad times and ive also done a lot of daft things along the way too. would i change a thing though, not on your life.

its amazing though what things stick out in my memories of times gone by. even the smallest of things still bring a small smile to my face and a little chuckle to myself on the inside, when i think back to what ive done with my life.

so what are your memories of growing up as a child? how was that first kiss and how did the parents take it when they found out you had been caught smoking at school. what kind of part time jobs did you have to do as a youngster? did you make a complete and utter pratt of yourselves the first time you got drunk. any fond memories of events that took place, tv. shows, sporting events, tastes in music that your offsprings may say <deleted>. anything!

anyway ive been rumbling around youtube, as you do and found these 3 classic ads from days gone by. as bob dylan once sang "times they are a changin"

When I was 13 I got hit by a drunk driver. On coming to in the local hospital with my mother by my hospital bedside, my first worry was not the obvious fears of being badly injured or brain damaged but that my mum would have found my packet of 10 benson & hedges that me & my mate Lisa had been out smoking that afternoon. She had & she graciously accepted my excuse that I was holding them for Lisa rather than slap me upside my (possibly brain damaged, I was waiting to be sent down for a brain scan) head.

that's a good one boo...you are redeemed...

my Tennessee grandad was Mr Nashville; when we went into town he always wore a suit and there were 'Hiday, Mr Carroll' all over the place...he chewed twist tobacco and there were always tobacco juice stains but that never affected his municipal stature...he wasn't blood (my grandma's third husband) but he always proudly introduced me to the assembly as his grandson...part of the old Nashville irish mafia...he said to me 'ye know, Buck...in de old days they useta treat us worse'n niggers...'

my bolivian grandad was a miserable shit...the first ordained evangelical minister in the country...he was a fraud and a charlatan and he knew that I knew...we never said a word to each other...

didn't matter too much...I grew up in California...

I got engaged when I was 5 years old, ring came free from a liquorice stick. My parents took this very seriously and asked me how I would keep my new girlfriend,I told them it was okay, I had my pocket money

They sat me down and told me that unfortunately when a man got married he had to go out to work and take care of his wife, unfortunately a married man would be expected to leave home and live with his wife so would not get pocket money (We did chores for our pocket money)

I asked for the ring back the next day.........still not sure today whether the decision was based on no pocket money or having to leave home!!!

My Grandpa owned a brass factory. All hand made items made by true craftsmen who simply don't exist anymore. He refused to sell to the big boys who he believed had no heart and when he knew he was on his way out, he gave each and every worker a share in the factory taking nothing for himself or his family and quietly passed away.

When I was young he was my hero.

Later when I learned his workers as quickly as they could sold his dream, breaking every promise they had made, doing very well for themselves thank you; my views changed and I become a prime candidate for BEDLAM.

Your Grandad had boots?

And only walked two miles to school?

Ehh, lad, you don't know what hard living is.

I remember when I was young, being 11 or younger, having to wear shorts all year round, walking six miles to school and in the winter have legs that were red and bleeding from the edge of my trousers rubbing my raw legs.

I also remember being bombed out when I was 4 (1941) and living in temporary accommodation for the next few years, changing every six monthe or so.

I remember the thousand bomber raids assembling in the skies overhead - wall-to-wall bombers covering the entire sky.

Doodle-bugs - woke up one morning and heard a car labouring up the hill outside the house we were then living in - then the engine cut and I realised it was a buzz-bomb. Frozen in place, wondering if it was going to hit us. Luckily it fell a few streets away.

Ice cream - ate it once during the war - in hospital after I'd had my tonsils out.

In the playground there were gas-attack detectors - sheets of metal painted yellow, that were supposed to turn another colour if the Germans dropped gas on us. On posts about 3-4 feet off the ground - just right for a boy of seven to run into during a game of tag. I still have the scar over my forehead.

Talking of being bombed out - happened again in the sixties, but I can't remember anything else of that time.

I also used to walk many miles to school in shorts and bare feet. But in summer in Perth the air temperature would often be 105 degrees+ (no 30's or 40's in those days) and the pavement anything up to 150!

The bottom of my feet were like old shoe leather, I could literally walk on broken glass, fire, whatever.

No doodle-bugs around (I'm not that old for a start), but in nesting season the magpies would swoop and viciously peck the heads of anyone who passed near their tree. Not unusual for a kid to lose an eye or much skin from falls when fleeing the bastards.

I was too cool to carry a branch above my head or have a cap with eyes on the back to deter them, instead I would try to stare them down, with mixed success.

The parents didn't have any spare money in the fifties so the only sweets we got were stolen by the handful from the tuck shop.

Another treat was a sliver of ice from the iceman who delivered blocks of the stuff in the street every few days.

but in nesting season the magpies would swoop and viciously peck the heads of anyone who passed near their tree. Not unusual for a kid to lose an eye or much skin from falls when fleeing the bastards.

When are the Dockers playing Collingwood, then?

I also used to walk many miles to school in shorts and bare feet. But in summer in Perth the air temperature would often be 105 degrees+ (no 30's or 40's in those days) and the pavement anything up to 150!

The bottom of my feet were like old shoe leather, I could literally walk on broken glass, fire, whatever.

No doodle-bugs around (I'm not that old for a start), but in nesting season the magpies would swoop and viciously peck the heads of anyone who passed near their tree. Not unusual for a kid to lose an eye or much skin from falls when fleeing the bastards.

I was too cool to carry a branch above my head or have a cap with eyes on the back to deter them, instead I would try to stare them down, with mixed success.

The parents didn't have any spare money in the fifties so the only sweets we got were stolen by the handful from the tuck shop.

Another treat was a sliver of ice from the iceman who delivered blocks of the stuff in the street every few days.

I wasn't barefoot, couldn't be with the quality of the (unsurfaced) roads I walked on, but again with chilblains on the back of the heels the shoes were damned uncomfortable.

Never hear of kids with chilblains these days - do they still exist?

but in nesting season the magpies would swoop and viciously peck the heads of anyone who passed near their tree. Not unusual for a kid to lose an eye or much skin from falls when fleeing the bastards.

When are the Dockers playing Collingwood, then?

I think they played a couple of weeks back. Collingwood won.

Pity there wasn't a way for both teams to lose.

I well remember the very sore red marks on the legs from wearing wellingtons with shorts in the snow!!!

I remember running away from home once when I was very young.

I didn't get far though because I wasn't allowed to cross the road.

blackjack and fruit salad sweets sold for only half a penny.

mr benn, bagpuss, trumpton ......... on the t.v.

blackjack and fruit salad sweets sold for only half a penny.

mr benn, bagpuss, trumpton ......... on the t.v.

That must have been after rationing finished?

But really tasty fruit gums. Probably full of enhancers that are forbidden now, 'cos they didn't make you into a fat, spoilt brat.

I remember running away from home once when I was very young.

I didn't get far though because I wasn't allowed to cross the road.

Mine was the opposite - was told to take my baby sister out for a walk in her pram (her in the pram - not me).

Bloody little brat wouldn't stop crying, so I put the brake on the pram and went home on my own.

Never had to take her out again - was worth the thrashing

Old Thai folk song....

When I was a boy

World was better spot.

What was so was so,

What was not was not.

Now I am a man;

World have changed a lot.

Some things nearly so,

Others nearly not.

My first drink of whiskey (johnny red), 1st smoke (winstons), thanks grand dad. Dreamnt about you a while back. We were having drinks and smokes. I woke up happy.

Oh I walked to school too uphill!!! in blinding blizzards -20c, in sweltering heat waves 40c.

And we didnt have email or the internet. We had to write, physically write on paper!!!! Then walk, uphill again to mail the letter and it will take over 2weeks to get a response!!!!

And the TV, can you imagine...having to get off from you seat, walk to the TV and physically turn a dial to change stations!!!!

There was 13 of us living in a shoe-box in the middle of the road.

eeeee it were ard, but we had Jacobs crackers for tea and we were happy....................

'Ard??? 'ard??? ee's nevver known 'ard lad.

Let me tell yer about ard.....

And yet another intellectual debate in Bedders collapses under the weight of sexual innuendo...........

Wall to wall carpets? we didn't even have wall to wall walls!

And yet another intellectual debate in Bedders collapses under the weight of sexual innuendo...........

My bad.... serves me right for reading mark's topic.

There was 13 of us living in a shoe-box in the middle of the road.

Shoe box, pah, you were spoiled lad, in my day we didn't even have a shoe box. And a road, I should have thought it were christmas if we had a road to sleep on, all 76 of me brothers & sisters had to levitate in the freezing cold, with no shoes, or clothes, no food except a lick of a block of lard once a fortnight & we had to crawl to school on our hands & knees, not to attend mind you, only to look in the windows at the other kids getting an education.

Bunch of ingrates, you don't know you had it made.!!!!

There was 13 of us living in a shoe-box in the middle of the road.

Shoe box, pah, you were spoiled lad, in my day we didn't even have a shoe box. And a road, I should have thought it were christmas if we had a road to sleep on, all 76 of me brothers & sisters had to levitate in the freezing cold, with no shoes, or clothes, no food except a lick of a block of lard once a fortnight & we had to crawl to school on our hands & knees, not to attend mind you, only to look in the windows at the other kids getting an education.

Bunch of ingrates, you don't know you had it made.!!!!

Hello, Sis !!!

Long time - no C !!

The saddest/toughest one I have heard was the survivor of the abortion attempt who went on to be sold as a beggar child and still managed to live to 60 years of age,with a drug/alcohol addiction and only 10 baht to his name.

I never had " C' , hence the rickets .............( I know that's " D" but we were too poor to know the difference )

when I was a boy,

I use to have to ride my stolen bicycle 28 miles to school and another 30 to get home.

Of course the stolen bicycle didnt have wheels, so I had to carry it.

To make matters worse, I had to carry my 3 sisters and brother on my shoulders.

We also couldnt afford shoes and the roads were only paved in places.

Often when I reached school I was late, so one of the 'brothers' there use to take me inside his office & give me a good seeing too with his cane. Back then the brothers didnt have much money either, so the can use to serve two purposes, one for punishment and the other for stirring the days lunch stew. Of course this often meant I had dribbles of stew on my backside and the stew had dribbles of my backside in it.

Anyway, after school and carrying my bicycle 30 miles back home, I would have to tend to the pigs, I had to move their slops from the pens, only we couldnt afford a shovel, so I would use a straw. Of course, the straw had holes in it, so I use to plug those holes with my fingers until the infections set in and I had my fingers surgically removed by my uncle fester and his trusty stolen pocket knife.

Anyway, not long after that the Polece came and took uncle fester away and then I had to go and find my mother and father who had jumped the back fence when the police arrived. Biggest problem I had with my mother and father was working out which one was which, they both had breasts and moustaches. Anyway I eventually found them, its seems they had moved further away from school, so now I had to carry my bicycle 50 miles on the way to school and 55 miles on the way home. My mother also had a couple of extra children, so I built a cart to drag them behind the carried bicycle in. Only problem with the cart is I couldnt afford round tyres, it was fitted with square ones.

Ahhh, them were the days.

And somehow, sometime, we all ended up on ThaiVisa.

Could this be the ultimate punishment for not choosing better parents?

I was found under a bush

( well I suppose we all came from under a bush ......................I'll get my coat )