Do You Believe Everything Here ?

[cardholder]

I can't believe it took the OP 20 years to become a TV member

[Vertigotogo]

Now I will say this. It does tend to bother me that people will look at us when we are in BKK for shopping or walking around. It is like my GF is just another Thai Bar girl. Amazing how quick people stereo type. Not all men in Thailand met their GF's/wifes on the internet through dating links or at a Thai bar.

How do you know people are thinking that just because they are looking at you?

[Forethat]

I totally agree with OP. Amongst the funniest shit I've read on this forum was the guy who kept bragging about his university-multi-degree anthropologist wife. He**, that guy even bragged about his multi-lingual gardener. He's yet to claim his wife to be a Nobel-prize winner, but give the man some time...

[Ulysses G.]

The question should be, not do you believe everything you read on here, but do the posters really believe what they are posting?

My Thai girlfriend, a famous actress. I believe it::

Sorry she's "pig ugly" in my eyes

...But you can see that she really loves him.

[Atmos]

I don't believe I've ever met a hi-so woman. Where are they?

Does a bank/insurance clerk who completed just 2yrs towards her degree count? (no).

I am not hi-so either.

We met at a surf-lifesaving competition - my three gold medals impressed! We have matching commemorative t-shirts issued to competitors on the day (you may well throw-up now!).

Didn't meet again for well over a month, kept in touch by phone/sms next few months, things developed from there.

I'm a triathlete, coach swimming, coached kids sport here too - there are loads of opportunities to meet ladies other than in bars, for me having common interest in sport/exercise is important; they are a minority I know but there are Thai women swimmers, mountainbikers, road cyclists, dive masters. Not many runners though - the jogging revolution didn't seem to be a hit here.

If I were back in my 'homes' of NZ/Oz and single I wouldn't be going to bars there either hoping to meet a lady.

Edited July 27, 2010 by genghis61

[craigt3365]

Sure, we met in a bar...but she looked dam_n good in that Heineken mini! I didn't marry her to discuss world politics. Did that with my first wife, PhD and all...look where it got me! Lost my house, car, furniture, etc....things are working out perfectly.

P.S. Just kidding about the Heineken mini...must be daydreaming again...

[IMA_FARANG]

Why do farang men who met their Thai wife/or girlfriend in a bar "deny" it?

Usually we don't, we just keep quiet about it. The reason is because of those fatheads who simply presume that if our Thai wife/girlfriend was once a "bargirl" she must be no good, a unfaithful wife, and a bad mother. It's not that we are in any way ashamed of our wife/girlfriend...it's simply that we have enough arguements with those who arbitraily assume the worst about our wife/girlfriend without ever bothering to learn the facts of the particular case.

Of course there are those who met their companions in a bar...and it didn't turn out well. But there are also those who met their life comapnions in a bar...and have lived happily for 30 years or more with that person. There is no "rule" for such relationships, each person is different and each situation is different. Those of us who did meet our companions in a bar, and have been happy with that for more than 30 years; well, we frankly don't care about other people's opinions and predjudices.

So let me educate many people, and hopefully remove some predjudices of certain people on this forum. I met my Thai girlfriend in 1977 in a bar in Bangkok. Our relationship became serious in 1980. We have been together since that time. Prior to that she was a friend I could talk to...we never had sex during those first 3 years. She was previously married to a part Thai/part Aussie man who left her (abandoned her) with three young children to feed. He had dual citizenship, and went to Austrailia, where he eventually died of alchoholism. I was a a 30 year old American guy running the bars in Bangkok. The first time I asked her to go home with me she said no. She kept refusing sex because she said I had other Thai girlfriends at the time. She always told me that when I stopped making a fool of myself with younger bargirls she might think about it. (She was probably 5 to 10 years older than most of the girls in the bar). It took me three years to come around to that point...but by that time she was a friend I could always talk to. She used to bring her children to the hotel I was staying at so they could use the swimming pool...and only that. In 1980, I was breaking off a relationship with another young bargirl. I thought it would be nice to go to Phuket...just to get away from Bangkok for a few days. I asked my Thai girlfriend to go with me, and to my surprise she said yes. From that point on, things got more permanent...and 30 plus years later we are still together. I intend to retire to Bangkok in about two months...and we will still be living together in Bangkok when I do.

So, bottom line, yes my Thai girfriend was a bargirl...and the best companion I ever found. I very far from "ashamed" about that fact...I think I was incredibly lucky to meet her. And the reason why I don't say that more often is because I'm tired of talking to predjudiced fools about it. They won't listen anyhow...or if they did they wouldn't be predjudiced fools, would they?

Edited July 27, 2010 by IMA_FARANG

[bifftastic]

Why do farang men who met their Thai wife/or girlfriend in a bar "deny" it?

Usually we don't, we just keep quiet about it. The reason is because of those fatheads who simply presume that if our Thai wife/girlfriend was once a "bargirl" she must be no good, a unfaithful wife, and a bad mother. It's not that we are in any way ashamed of our wife/girlfriend...it's simply that we have enough arguements with those who arbitraily assume the worst about our wife/girlfriend without ever bothering to learn the facts of the particular case.

Of course there are those who met their companions in a bar...and it didn't turn out well. But there are also those who met their life comapnions in a bar...and have lived happily for 30 years or more with that person. There is no "rule" for such relationships, each person is different and each situation is different. Those of us who did meet our companions in a bar, and have been happy with that for more than 30 years; well, we frankly don't care about other people's opinions and predjudices.

So let me educate many people, and hopefully remove some predjudices of certain people on this forum. I met my Thai girlfriend in 1977 in a bar in Bangkok. Our relationship became serious in 1980. We have been together since that time. Prior to that she was a friend I could talk to...we never had sex during those first 3 years. She was previously married to a part Thai/part Aussie man who left her (abandoned her) with three young children to feed. He had dual citizenship, and went to Austrailia, where he eventually died of alchoholism. I was a a 30 year old American guy running the bars in Bangkok. The first time I asked her to go home with me she said no. She kept refusing sex because she said I had other Thai girlfriends at the time. She always told me that when I stopped making a fool of myself with younger bargirls she might think about it. (She was probaly 5 to 10 years older than most of the girls in the bar). It took me three years to come around to that point...but by that time she was a friend I could always talk to. She used to bring her children to the hotel I was staying at so they could use the swimming pool...and only that. In 1980, I was breaking off a relationship with another young bargirl. I thought it would be nice to go to Phuket...just to get away from Bangkok for a few days. I asked my Thai girlfriend to go with me, and to my surprise she said yes. From that point on, things got more permanent...and 30 plus years later we are still together. I intend to retire to Bangkok in about two months...and we will still be living together in Bangkok when I do.

So, bottom line, yes my Thai girfriend was a bargirl...and the best companion I ever found. I very far from "ashamed" about that fact...I think I was incredibly lucky to meet her. And the reason why I don't say that more often is because I'm tired of talking to predjudiced fools about it. They won't listen anyhow...or if they did they wouldn't be predjudiced fools, would they?

Very good post, thank you for sharing :jap:

[tijnebijn]

I believe everything I read on Thaivisa, don't you?

Thats the problem with most , especialy the scaremongering ....

[IanForbes]

If I was young, handsome and looking for someone, I don't think I'd go much further than the DTAC shop in the Airport Plaza in Chiang Mai. Unfortunately, I'm none of those things. I think DTAC has its priorties correct. They only hire attractive young, smart women who speak fluent English. At least they are a lot smarter than I am with those cel phone thingies that do everything but cook your supper.

[tijnebijn]

Don't think its strange at all .

Don't 'westerners ' occasionally meet in disco's and bars as well ,

don't they enjoy ' one night stands ' .....

Don't people just meet and socialise when going out ?

Yes indeed they do , its just no matter how high the Thai woman stands on the economic level , I think Thais are very easy going anyways compared to the West ,

and yes also about liking a good man and even more to show it to them , so not

strange Westerners hook up with Thais a lot .

As always there are good and bad people , the only difference is in the West there

is no need to be such creative with jobs , but my guess ia a lot of single western woman ,

would love it to be such easy to hook up with a good guy , I know many have a hard time finding one , there is just no scene for it .

And no , I did not met my wife in a bar , we met in a restaurant.

Edited July 27, 2010 by tijnebijn

[Payboy]

I met my current in a bar yesterday. Wonder who I'm going to meet today.

[mark45y]

I got here in 1968 as a technician with the US Army building communication towers starting in the Sattahip area. The US did not want to rely on a communications network in Vietnam.

I was an administrative person in that I arranged for supplies to be purchased to build the towers and contracted with local firms for the labor necessary.

During that time I met a Thai firm that did decent work and established a relationship with the management of that firm.

It was easier to move the crews from the Sattahip area to other parts of Thailand for the construction than hire new crews in each area.

During the 4 years that I spent in Thailand in the late 60’s and early 70’s I became close to the family of the man who owned the business.

He and his wife who did the books also picked up contracts with the US government to build towers in the Middle East and other parts of Asia based on my recommendations.

He and his wife were always honest with me and at the time that was an unusual arrangement.

I couldn’t make any more money than my Army pay by taking bribes because our bank accounts were closely monitored by Army security. As a result of my recommendations he became wealthy and I stayed a technician in the Army at a technician’s pay. I think he felt guilty about his new found wealth while I remained the same. So he gave my share to his oldest daughter who was also promised to me in marriage.

[Beetlejuice]

If I was young, handsome and looking for someone, I don't think I'd go much further than the DTAC shop in the Airport Plaza in Chiang Mai. Unfortunately, I'm none of those things. I think DTAC has its priorties correct. They only hire attractive young, smart women who speak fluent English. At least they are a lot smarter than I am with those cel phone thingies that do everything but cook your supper.

Why not try the True move shop instead. They are not so fussy in there and will go with anymore.

So I`ve heard.

[Beetlejuice]

Nice, Beetlejuice. Don't tell me she doesn't have an orgasm.

I met my GF at a Coffee World. I found out later she was the head of international business operations at Siam Bank. She likes coffee.

You are going to hold this orgasm thing against me forever.

Look I tell you want we can do, you and I meet up, hire a hooker and if she has an orgasm, I will pay for the whole evening.

[Soutpeel]

Didn't you read the forum rules? To be a member of ThaiVisa you must:-

1. Have met your wife, a good girl from a hi-so background, in Chulalongkorn university while you were doing research for number 2.

2. Be educated to PhD level, MSc or BSc are acceptable at a scrape but you can only be an associate member.

3. Have NEVER EVER been to Pattaya, but that doesn't rule out knowing everything there is to know about the place.

Also wifes family is well connected in goverment/police/army, tick the applicable

[MrJohnson]

Nice, Beetlejuice. Don't tell me she doesn't have an orgasm.

I met my GF at a Coffee World. I found out later she was the head of international business operations at Siam Bank. She likes coffee.

You are going to hold this orgasm thing against me forever.

Look I tell you want we can do, you and I meet up, hire a hooker and if she has an orgasm, I will pay for the whole evening.

When Harry Met Sally?

[TAWP]

I have never meet or hooked up with anyone in a bar in Thailand, ever. I have however gone out with many different women and they have been of a wide range of ages and backgrounds. What they all had in common is that most of them was basically good girls, no-matter their backgrounds. But then again, I never went out with someone I didn't get to know properly first... so one can kinda filter out the bad weed right away.

Of course being drunk and hooking up with a sexy lass that smiles to you in a bar might seem like a 'fun thing to do' but is really a recipe for disaster.

And oh-so-common for those that go here on vacation. I have yet to come to Thailand for vacation nor have I ever been on one sofar when living here...I guess there is where I go wrong.

[inthepink]

Didn't you read the forum rules? To be a member of ThaiVisa you must:-

1. Have met your wife, a good girl from a hi-so background, in Chulalongkorn university while you were doing research for number 2.

2. Be educated to PhD level, MSc or BSc are acceptable at a scrape but you can only be an associate member.

3. Have NEVER EVER been to Pattaya, but that doesn't rule out knowing everything there is to know about the place.

Also wifes family is well connected in goverment/police/army, tick the applicable

Yes, the old, "My father-in-law / brother-in-law / mother-in-law's cat is a high ranking police officer so I can do what I want here" story.

[bonobo]

I've gone out with only one girl who, while she didn't work at a bar, was in the profession, so-to-speak. And I went out with one very hiso girl until her father, to whom I was perfectly acceptable as a consultant, put the kabosh on that.  Frankly speaking, most of the Thai women with whom I have gone out ran the gamut of every day people.

However, not that it matters one whit to me who dates whom, I have seen quite a number of hiso-foreign couples.  One is an age-equal couple in their late 50's, and she is very, very well placed.  They met quite some time ago and have been married for probably 20 years or more.   And I went to a company party on the top of the Banyan Tree, and there were two hiso-foreign couples, both age-equal and both fairly young.  I got a kick out of watching the young American kid.  He was so fish-out-of-water but valiantly putting on a game show.  I have forgotten now who she was, but my buddy told me her father was a gazillionare or something.

I also have met a hiso/foreign couple where it was the man who is Thai and the woman who is foreign.

The point is that it happens.  So what?  Who cares if someone meets and marries a movie star, a hiso socialite, a bar girl, an accountant, a fellow student, a Singha girl, or whatever?  And again frankly speaking, in the number of threads I have read, more ThaiVisa members seem to state they married former bargirls than pretty much any other demographic.  I maybe remember only one poster claiming to have married a hiso girl.

So to steam about the subject serves no other purpose than to raise blood pressure, in my opinion.

[dmax]

C'mon, you cannot be so pessimist just because didn't happen to you

i dont believe many of them either, i met my wife in a bar , so what ? same as all the thai girls who come over here to uk , they all worked in hotels or restraunts and the husbands have a cheek to back them up , my wife will openly admit to them or anyone who asks that she worked in a bar.

[bkkjames]

C'mon, you cannot be so pessimist just because didn't happen to you

  i dont believe many of them either,   i met my wife in a bar , so what ?   same as all the thai girls who come over here to uk , they all worked in hotels or restraunts and the husbands have a cheek to back them up , my wife will openly admit to them or anyone who asks that she worked in a bar.

Good points. 

Imagine what your wife has to say to her friends - I met my husband in a bar. 

[inthepink]

C'mon, you cannot be so pessimist just because didn't happen to you

i dont believe many of them either, i met my wife in a bar , so what ? same as all the thai girls who come over here to uk , they all worked in hotels or restraunts and the husbands have a cheek to back them up , my wife will openly admit to them or anyone who asks that she worked in a bar.

Just because you met your wife in bar why should you not believe people who didn't?

[bonobo]

C'mon, you cannot be so pessimist just because didn't happen to you

  i dont believe many of them either,   i met my wife in a bar , so what ?   same as all the thai girls who come over here to uk , they all worked in hotels or restraunts and the husbands have a cheek to back them up , my wife will openly admit to them or anyone who asks that she worked in a bar.

Good points. 

Imagine what your wife has to say to her friends - I met my husband in a bar.   

Although written in humor, that does bring up a good point.  What do Thai women say when they introduce their foreign b/f's or husbands?

"Oh, he is a businessman," "he is (subtract 15 years) old," "he has a Ph.D.," "he has never been married," "he ....."

I do know a woman who worked at Fitness First and started dating an Englishman, a retired computer programmer who dabbled in a Scuba business.  When she took him home for a wedding, everyone in the village seemed to take that as proof that she worked as a bargirl and the guy was a punter.

[Ulysses G.]

I maybe remember only one poster claiming to have married a hiso girl.

Don't ruin the fun with inconvenient facts.

[sharking]

Easy way to sort this one out

lets have a poll on the subject

TICK i married a bar girl and still very much in love 9 years

[zzaa09]

I dunno why you talk about hiso women...I've seen all three different relatioships work simply because of the people involved care for each other.....its much different with the 'wannabee' girls tho.....met a few of those but easy for a rich falang like me of course.....

You'll find that there is nothing terribly special about this hi-so class lasses. What might be expected, is the usual suspects tend to chase and chose those Thai girls that have some similar language connection {the Farang's native language} and/or have a great deal of exposure and influence under Western manner. Personally, there is nothing more disgusting than a Thai women who has excepted and developed a Western tone.....

But then regardless of her starting point any Thai girlfriend or wife will surely become more westernised simply by being around you and your friends/family....a catch 22 no?

Not if all your friends and family are Thai, yes? As many don't keep the company {Farang} as to be expected....English is not used everyday in our surroundings nor is an attached Occidental manner. So....we can throw your theories out the window. Doesn't fit for everyone.

[sharking]

Easy way to sort this one out

lets have a poll on the subject

TICK i married a bar girl and still very much in love 9 years

Sorry, some will still lie just to make themselves, eeer feel better.

yea i do know 4 mates who say different,but i speak a little Thai and there wives tell me different

shame really

[PhilHarries]

Why this big thing about girls working in a bar anyway? I've been propositioned in many restaurants, shops, department stores, he_ll a guy I know got a tug from the salesgirl in the duty free shop in Don Muang.

I have heard that even uni girls often do a turn to make ends meet.

So the old line "I met my wife in university" is not so pure and innocent but it just sounds better than "Nymphos agogo".

[Slip]

^^ What? Actually in the airport?