Do You Believe Everything Here ?

[Shotime]

Nice, Beetlejuice. Don't tell me she doesn't have an orgasm.

I met my GF at a Coffee World. I found out later she was the head of international business operations at Siam Bank. She likes coffee.

You are going to hold this orgasm thing against me forever.

Look I tell you want we can do, you and I meet up, hire a hooker and if she has an orgasm, I will pay for the whole evening.

No I won't. That's the last time. Promise.

I could win that free evening easily, but I won't take advantage.

[inthepink]

I dunno why you talk about hiso women...I've seen all three different relatioships work simply because of the people involved care for each other.....its much different with the 'wannabee' girls tho.....met a few of those but easy for a rich falang like me of course.....

You'll find that there is nothing terribly special about this hi-so class lasses. What might be expected, is the usual suspects tend to chase and chose those Thai girls that have some similar language connection {the Farang's native language} and/or have a great deal of exposure and influence under Western manner. Personally, there is nothing more disgusting than a Thai women who has excepted and developed a Western tone.....

My gf has a great British accent. I don't find it disgusting at all. As she spent 14 years in the UK she'd be a bit retarded if she still had pronunciation problems. I certainly wouldn't want to speak Thai with a distinctive foreign accent either as it just sounds ridiculous.

[sokal]

Considering that 80% or more of Thais don't speak English or any other foreign language, and those that do either work in bars or high end businesses, I find it hard to believe that foreigners coming to Thailand for the first time can meet women anywhere else but bars. I'd also believe that very few foreigners can learn to speak thai within the first year of living in Thailand. Even the ones who've been around Thailand for several years seldom learn the language. If that is the case then I guess all those men live like monks when they come to Thailand.

I think it also has to do with how old and how a farang looks. A fat old pot bellied alcoholic will not meet any Thai girl that is not in group 1 but a classier or younger guy can possibly meet any kind of Thai girl. I think its apropriate to post the this chart again(a Thai girl made it)

[Vertigotogo]

I met my former wife in a disco in the UK. We were happily married for 25 years and have 3 wonderful kids. It doesn't always matter where you first meet.

[aussiebebe]

Do I believe everything people write on TV? No, I only believe that they want me and everyone else to believe them. Who'd ever post 'My wife's an ex-bar girl' hoping no-one would believe them? How would that work?

My 2 cents is that the term 'Hi-So' is undefined and applied differently by everyone. A Dairy Queen girl wouldn't be, even if she was manager, yet any girl working in a bank would, by virtue of her attire, be 'Hi-So', but that's not really high society is it? My first girlfriend (the reason I originally moved here), who came from a seriously wealthy family by my estimation, dumped me due to pressure from her parents who strongly dissaproved of her relationship with a foreigner. Or maybe I'm a cock and she needed an excuse to get rid of me. Regardless; lots of Thai colleagues, neighbours and friends I've made since then have confirmed that rich families do hold such attitudes, not arranged marriages, but Thai-Thai. I struggle to believe TV members have any reason not to report things the way they wish they were.

[inthepink]

What do you consider as a wealthy family, because my experience has been nothing like yours?

[wolf5370]

Do I believe everything people write on TV? No, I only believe that they want me and everyone else to believe them. Who'd ever post 'My wife's an ex-bar girl' hoping no-one would believe them? How would that work?

My 2 cents is that the term 'Hi-So' is undefined and applied differently by everyone. A Dairy Queen girl wouldn't be, even if she was manager, yet any girl working in a bank would, by virtue of her attire, be 'Hi-So', but that's not really high society is it? My first girlfriend (the reason I originally moved here), who came from a seriously wealthy family by my estimation, dumped me due to pressure from her parents who strongly dissaproved of her relationship with a foreigner. Or maybe I'm a cock and she needed an excuse to get rid of me. Regardless; lots of Thai colleagues, neighbours and friends I've made since then have confirmed that rich families do hold such attitudes, not arranged marriages, but Thai-Thai. I struggle to believe TV members have any reason not to report things the way they wish they were.

My definition of HoSo isn't a bank clerk, its someone who has a daddy (mummy?) that has independant wealth. Enough that they are educated at the best schools (often overseas) or bought the best degrees here, do not need to work and are used to bossing servants around all day. Somewhat like a Victorian household in the classics book section, but with sports cars, top of the range mobiles, gold cards in their daddy's name, real rolexes and chaperones. The sort of women daddy locks up behind golden gates and dissowns for dating non-Chinese guys or those not of a similar 'status'. Daddy is either a rich businessman, politician or ranking millitary. Not much chance of meeting one of them romantically - although he-who-must-not-be-named's daughter married an Amerian (and divorced him too).

Edited July 27, 2010 by wolf5370

[inthepink]

You don't have to be Chinese to be wealthy...

[JPPR2]

This is a very interesting thread. I guess my question is why would it matter where you met your GF/Wife/Spouse etc? Sure I can see that a working bar girl could present some social frowns from certain folks but who cares. You are the one in the relationship. Same would apply on the "Hi-So" gals, a new buzzword on learned on this site and still trying to figure out how it applies. To some a "Hi-So" gal could be quite bothersome as well but as the bar girl, they are not the one in the relationship. I do not judge either way. If you have met the right person, are happy, then you are lucky no matter history or profession of the person.

Off tangent, at this point I have found the Thai people quite refreshing, polite and very friendly. It is a nice break from the relentless hate, cut throat, keep up with the Joneses US BS. But I see change coming. As more and more business move to Thailand I see the separation starting. In fact I see a "Baby Boomer" era in the making. More and more housing. More and more jobs. More people graduating from college. Expectations are high. I see Thai people bragging about their material things or their personal status. This is the exact path China took. I watched that unfold as well to the point China is now in crisis like the US. I have been transferring operations to various countries now for 10+ years. You witness a lot if you take the time to look around.

Anyway to all who have found happiness....... carry on. Enjoy life. You most certainly do not need to defend nor justify. Its only a web forum....

[Nignoy]

Considering that 80% or more of Thais don't speak English or any other foreign language, and those that do either work in bars or high end businesses, I find it hard to believe that foreigners coming to Thailand for the first time can meet women anywhere else but bars. I'd also believe that very few foreigners can learn to speak thai within the first year of living in Thailand. Even the ones who've been around Thailand for several years seldom learn the language. If that is the case then I guess all those men live like monks when they come to Thailand.

I met wife no 1 in a northeast isaan village,she spoke no english ,I spoke no thai, it was nearly 6 months before I started to speak the dialect,I never got to BKK until I had been in thailand 9 months or so, a few of my english mates had village girl friends, and then the first bar opened and mia nois started drifting in from ubon and mukdaharn,this was in 1964, by the way I do have thai friends who treat me like a brother, 30 years later we introduced our adopted son to thailand and its culture, he became a penpal to a friends daughter who was studying in university, 20 years on they are married,have family

are living happily in uk,that is one side of the coin , the otherside is we also have an aquaintance who married a thai lady, literally worked her to death , while she was dying in a palliative care home, he got an advance on the insurance and bought himself a sportscar, a couple of months after the funeral he was off to pattaya for another wife, you should not judge what you know nothing about :jap:

[Shotime]

"To some a "Hi-So" gal could be quite bothersome as well but as the bar girl, they are not the one in the relationship. I do not judge either way. If you have met the right person, are happy, then you are lucky no matter history or profession of the person. "

Excellent points.

Who would want to put up with some spoiled brat anyway? Not that every relationship doesn't have it's own set of problems.

Who would get involved with someone just because they come from a rich family? It sounds pretty shallow to me.

To each their own. Everybody brings something to the table.

My own personal preferences are not dependent on anything but how my partner makes me feel. The crazier, the better.

[ThaiSydGuy]

I think some of us may be missing the point, it's not where you met her - it's who she is. That's what she is inside. I've known many "bar girls" all over Asia, some of them I would trust with my grandchildren and some I wouldn't trust with my shadow! The same can be said for some of the "non-bar girls" however in this case they will often have a more difficult time establishing their moral "blacks" and "whites" as the role models can be a little further up the social scale and may not have achieved that stauts through altogehter altruistic methods.

I first saw my wife in a restaurant, she was singing there (and yes, it was a cafe, but she was singing in the restaurant at the time) she is not "hi-so" but she does have a moral and ethical code that anyone would be proud of, and I am proud of her. However as many have pointed out, when meeting new people many assume the stereotype and so to ease the frustration, embarrasment, and anger we simply don't mention how we met. Most Thais will never ask until they are very good friends (those that ask immediately are rude and usually get a non-committal answer) and the farangs are told "she was singing at a restaurant and I kept returning until she agreed to go out with me four weeks later" - the truth.

Slightly off-topic but I know many us of service our lovers for free and I just spotted an ad in JobsDB for a "Lover Service"! Sounds like a great "opening"

Edited July 27, 2010 by ThaiSydGuy

[zzaa09]

C'mon, you cannot be so pessimist just because didn't happen to you

i dont believe many of them either, i met my wife in a bar , so what ? same as all the thai girls who come over here to uk , they all worked in hotels or restraunts and the husbands have a cheek to back them up , my wife will openly admit to them or anyone who asks that she worked in a bar.

Just because you met your wife in bar why should you not believe people who didn't?

Because the myths, stigmas, and stereotypes are too deep for some to see otherwise.

[Atmos]

My definition of HoSo isn't a bank clerk . . .

I'm with you; my gf, and her friends I've met from the bank tended to be from absolutely middle of the road working families - no 'inherited wealth', parents have somehow managed to afford to keep them at school and on to uni in many cases. The bank staff don't earn much, can't afford to live well re accomm etc, though there is a small level of esteem in that uniform - genuinely worn with pride. But hi-so? No.

Gf's father (long deceased) had a farm and farm machinery contracting business - a worker who got his hands dirty, I guess in 'society' terms this shame is something she'll never live down. I'm from a farm background too, NZ, and there's no shame in that.

[Daewoo]

I can't believe so many people are missing the OPs point... He wasn't criticising guys who marry bargirls, he was calling bullshit on how many claim to be married to Hi-So girls...

I am with him...

Our company had 80 very well paid Aussie staff in BKK for 2 years... ranging in age from 20 to 60... of those 80, not a single one had a relationship with a girl who wasn't from a bar... We think one might have got a shot away with a girl from the office, but 5 years later he still denies it...

I am also with the posts about Hi-So... Many people seem to think anyone who isn't from a bar, or dirt poor is High Society... If they don't have a Merc, they are Middle Class...

Cheers,

Daewoo

[zzaa09]

If most of your exposure and experience comes amongst the bar girl scene, then......:jap:

[inthepink]

There always seem to be class warriors on threads like these. Not all daughters of wealthy parents spend there days abusing daddy's credit card. Rich people, in my experience, are the same as any other group. Some are nice, some are OK and some are complete tossers.

[MrJohnson]

There always seem to be class warriors on threads like these. Not all daughters of wealthy parents spend there days abusing daddy's credit card. Rich people, in my experience, are the same as any other group. Some are nice, some are OK and some are complete tossers.

Indeed. In other words, don't stereotype and generalize.

[wolf5370]

There always seem to be class warriors on threads like these. Not all daughters of wealthy parents spend there days abusing daddy's credit card. Rich people, in my experience, are the same as any other group. Some are nice, some are OK and some are complete tossers.

Ah, but then that was my point (sort of) - the definition of HiSo. To you, it seems (sorry if incorret), anyone wealthy here is HiSo. Maybe its my English herritage, but I equate it to the English term 'Toff'. Being rich (espeially nouveau riche) does not a 'toff' make - Amerians I have heard tend to all it 'old money' (the opposite of nouveau riche). Indeed, many 'toff' are nolonger wealthy and many lottery winners and ex-barrow boys drive ferraris and live in mansions. We all have our own definitions.

[tartempion]

You badly need to enhance your social circle:

My son married a Thai uni student he met during his MBA.

A friend married a doctor in medicine.

An other the daughter of an army general.

An other a hi-so woman from Chiang Mai and they still live up there.

Myself a farmers daughter because I can't stand all these intellectual women

[inthepink]

There always seem to be class warriors on threads like these. Not all daughters of wealthy parents spend there days abusing daddy's credit card. Rich people, in my experience, are the same as any other group. Some are nice, some are OK and some are complete tossers.

Ah, but then that was my point (sort of) - the definition of HiSo. To you, it seems (sorry if incorret), anyone wealthy here is HiSo. Maybe its my English herritage, but I equate it to the English term 'Toff'. Being rich (espeially nouveau riche) does not a 'toff' make - Amerians I have heard tend to all it 'old money' (the opposite of nouveau riche). Indeed, many 'toff' are nolonger wealthy and many lottery winners and ex-barrow boys drive ferraris and live in mansions. We all have our own definitions.

If you look at my earlier posts I don't think that way at all. I specifically said that having a bit of money does not make you a part of high society, in my opinion. However, the high society Thais (ones that would qualify under your definition) that I have spoken to, expressed the opinion that whilst my understanding of the word (which was the same as yours) used to be correct, nowadays any pop star or movie actress with a bundle of cash is labelled as hi-so too. I suppose in a way this is reasonable as they do move in similar social circles or at least overlap to a certain degree.

My main reason for posting in this thread was not really to have a protracted discussion on the definition of "hi-so" but to point out that it is not all that difficult to meet and have a relationship with one as they do not all hold the same views about foreigners that some other posters seem to think they do. Obviously I am only speaking for the small sample that I have actually met so others' experiences might well be completely different. What I object to is the silly attitude that anyone who claims to know such people must be lying. I don't know about other people on this forum but I really wouldn't bother making stories up in an attempt to impress people that I am highly unlikely to ever meet.

Edited July 28, 2010 by inthepink

[inthepink]

Myself a farmers daughter because I can't stand all these intellectual women

That discussion could take up a whole other thread :S

[Soutpeel]

I'm from a farm background too, NZ, and there's no shame in that.

Just think about all the free love you used to get....BAA

[crazyOZ80]

Considering that 80% or more of Thais don't speak English or any other foreign language, and those that do either work in bars or high end businesses, I find it hard to believe that foreigners coming to Thailand for the first time can meet women anywhere else but bars. I'd also believe that very few foreigners can learn to speak thai within the first year of living in Thailand. Even the ones who've been around Thailand for several years seldom learn the language. If that is the case then I guess all those men live like monks when they come to Thailand.

I think it also has to do with how old and how a farang looks. A fat old pot bellied alcoholic will not meet any Thai girl that is not in group 1 but a classier or younger guy can possibly meet any kind of Thai girl. I think its apropriate to post the this chart again(a Thai girl made it)

From this "chart"alone this chick sound like a dumb jaded bitch , that is super pissed off at the world ! Probably needs a decent one up her !

[Ulysses G.]

I think it also has to do with how old and how a farang looks. A fat old pot bellied alcoholic will not meet any Thai girl that is not in group 1 but a classier or younger guy can possibly meet any kind of Thai girl.

I don't know about that. I find it relatively easy to meet group 4s and 5s that at least pretend to be interested - probably because I have a business - and I am no prize. I am the one who is not interested in a relationship - but I am not claiming that they would not screw me over in the long run.

[TAWP]

Nice, Beetlejuice. Don't tell me she doesn't have an orgasm.

I met my GF at a Coffee World. I found out later she was the head of international business operations at Siam Bank. She likes coffee.

You are going to hold this orgasm thing against me forever.

Look I tell you want we can do, you and I meet up, hire a hooker and if she has an orgasm, I will pay for the whole evening.

No I won't. That's the last time. Promise.

I could win that free evening easily, but I won't take advantage.

I can guarantee that I could make you lose it.

[mark45y]

Does anyone posting on TV consider themselves high society in their country of origin? And does their country of origin consider them high society?

[Slip]

Yes, but then I'm the 11th Viscount of Winchester.

EDIT: Got my name wrong.

Edited July 28, 2010 by Slip

[mark45y]

Nice, Beetlejuice. Don't tell me she doesn't have an orgasm.

I met my GF at a Coffee World. I found out later she was the head of international business operations at Siam Bank. She likes coffee.

You are going to hold this orgasm thing against me forever.

Look I tell you want we can do, you and I meet up, hire a hooker and if she has an orgasm, I will pay for the whole evening.

No I won't. That's the last time. Promise.

I could win that free evening easily, but I won't take advantage.

I can guarantee that I could make you lose it.

How would you know she had an orgasm?

[Ulysses G.]

Does anyone posting on TV consider themselves high society in their country of origin? And does their country of origin consider them high society?

Maybe some upper-class English chaps that are slumming it?