Police in West Yorkshire have revealed a list of "ridiculous" 999 calls which they say put lives at risk by diverting resources away from real emergencies.

One person dialled 999 to report a packet of rice missing from a cupboard while another called for advice about a snoring dog.

And one woman from West Yorkshire decided she needed police help when a black cat got into her house.

A police spokesman said: "These calls are so ridiculous it's astonishing."

Its beyond me. Surly the black cat could have been responsible for the rice ?

How did you know the black cat's name was 'Surly'?

Can't have been a happy cat, can it?

And the rice - there is a worldwide shortage of rice.

Exports are down by a large percentage.

So guard your rice, it will be overtaking gold jewellry as the item-of-choice for burglars soon.

Must have been a burglar from Bradford, in my opinion.

How did you know the black cat's name was 'Surly'?

Can't have been a happy cat, can it?

And the rice - there is a worldwide shortage of rice.

Exports are down by a large percentage.

So guard your rice, it will be overtaking gold jewellry as the item-of-choice for burglars soon.

Must have been a burglar from Bradford, in my opinion.

It was actually " Shirley" but the cat has homophobic issues.

People that make such calls, should be pubically humiliated. I was thinking of perhaps even public floggings for repeat offenders.

feekkin dikheadz

How did you know the black cat's name was 'Surly'?

Can't have been a happy cat, can it?

It was actually " Shirley" but the cat has homophobic issues.

Would make him surly, being called Shirley.

Named after Leslie Nielsson, was he?

I though Surly was a TV mod?

I though Surly was a TV mod?

TV mod(s)

You're reading OTB as well are you?

I though Surly was a TV mod?

Gidday biatch. howz it hangin. I don't visit OTB anymore due to a certain few pratts there, but its good to see your still alive and kickin :jap:

People are still posting in OTB? Amazing...

People are still posting in OTB? Amazing...

Some people it's true, but mostly Trolls, Flamers and a few dear mods trying to keep the peace and the dummies in their prams.

People are still posting in OTB? Amazing...

Some people it's true, but mostly Trolls, Flamers and a few dear mods trying to keep the peace and the dummies in their prams.

It always amazes me the knobs that gather in certain places and say things to people and its generally stuff they wouldnt be brave enuf to say in person.

Theres definately a few self proclaimed 'special' units in there

The forum dickheads that make me laugh are those that seem to be experts in every field.

Somebody claiming to be an expert in ballistics one day will be claiming their excellence in the field of middle-east politics and cosmetic surgery the next.

There's some very 'special' people on the net indeed.

People are still posting in OTB? Amazing...

Some people it's true, but mostly Trolls, Flamers and a few dear mods trying to keep the peace and the dummies in their prams.

It always amazes me the knobs that gather in certain places and say things to people and its generally stuff they wouldnt be brave enuf to say in person.

Theres definately a few self proclaimed 'special' units in there

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

I think most of us here would say openly what we say on the net.

Most of us who live in Thailand would be fairly easily found, Ulysses G,for example,is high profile and all of the Chiang Rai ThaiVisa guys know where I live.

We've both been threatened by idiots on other forums but nothing has come of it.

I just make sure everyone knows how ferocious my dog is.

Yes, what I write here I would always be prepared to say outside.

The differene is, here people read my crap, outside no-one listens.

People are still posting in OTB? Amazing...

Some people it's true, but mostly Trolls, Flamers and a few dear mods trying to keep the peace and the dummies in their prams.

It always amazes me the knobs that gather in certain places and say things to people and its generally stuff they wouldnt be brave enuf to say in person.

Theres definately a few self proclaimed 'special' units in there

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

He's a lovely poochy woochy...........Dogs are a reflection of their owners. You must be a lovely poochy woochy too.

I think most of us here would say openly what we say on the net.

Most of us who live in Thailand would be fairly easily found, Ulysses G,for example,is high profile and all of the Chiang Rai ThaiVisa guys know where I live.

We've both been threatened by idiots on other forums but nothing has come of it.

I just make sure everyone knows how ferocious my dog is.

I got one of those ..... but I think his teeth may be a little bit bigger.

Crickey ...One of the incisors is so big, it looks like a knee.

Some people it's true, but mostly Trolls, Flamers and a few dear mods trying to keep the peace and the dummies in their prams.

It always amazes me the knobs that gather in certain places and say things to people and its generally stuff they wouldnt be brave enuf to say in person.

Theres definately a few self proclaimed 'special' units in there

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

He's a lovely poochy woochy...........Dogs are a reflection of their owners. You must be a lovely poochy woochy too.

I think you meant to reply to the next post, Scea's.

An egg nog or three too many?

Crickey ...One of the incisors is so big, it looks like a knee.

Trust me mate .... when he snarls, he is all wolf .... but he reserves that for Thais that try to wave sticks at him, rest of the time, just a big softie.

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

:jap: No dramas with you, little buddy, funny little fella from that funny little island on the other side of the ditch. What is that 'little' dance you guys do again called?

:jap:

Funnily enough, the crap i get on this forum I have NEVER had someone say to my face. Guess its easier to be rude nasty mean and spiteful online than to actually say it to my smiling face

actually say it to my smiling face

Yah mean you can actually SMILE?

Only when the whip is swinging.

Helps with the rythm.

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

:jap: No dramas with you, little buddy, funny little fella from that funny little island on the other side of the ditch. What is that 'little' dance you guys do again called?

:jap:

You NZ, West Islanders, should learn to Corroboree.

(Correctly: caribberie.)

Go back to your Deamtime, and witchetty grub feasts.

Funnily enough, the crap i get on this forum I have NEVER had someone say to my face. Guess its easier to be rude nasty mean and spiteful online than to actually say it to my smiling face

I can't imagine anyone sending crap to you.

Whats wrong with people?

If I had anything to say to you on the net, I certainly would also say it in person.....you don't scare me ya big woos.

:jap: No dramas with you, little buddy, funny little fella from that funny little island on the other side of the ditch. What is that 'little' dance you guys do again called?

:jap:

You NZ, West Islanders, should learn to Corroboree.

(Correctly: caribberie.)

Go back to your Deamtime, and witchetty grub feasts.

Actually oldboy, NZ is just a chip of the eastcoast of Australia. I've actually been on Australian farms that are bigger than one of your Islands .

Having said all that, NZ is one of the most beautiful places I've been to. Strange people, nice place

It was, until some Aussie tourist farted in Christchurch and the walls came tumblin' down.

It was, until some Aussie tourist farted in Christchurch and a kiwi was born.