Why do some people sit on their high horse and complain about things that seem (well seem to me) not significant to get upset about?

Maybe im not being very understanding?

ie: I have a friend who bought me a pen, purely because it was getting under their skin seeing me use a cheap pen. Ok, nice to get a gift, but i had no idea it bugged them to that extent. Im a vegetarian, and the same friend confronted me about how much it upsets them that we cannot share food together because of my diet. Apparently we cant share vegetarian food, because all the food i eat (even though many of them are the same as other thai dishes, but without the meat..fish..) isnt tasty...so now im being told that there is no point to eat with me (a reactive comment, that i dont take literally, but still, it stung). They even made a "joke" about wanting to snap my sunglasses in half because i bought some cheap ones. Im finding that many small things are being nit-picked...and personally i cant fathom as to why.

I think people should look at themselves first, for to be honest, we are not so perfect as to have the right to bemoan and degrade.

Why are some people this way?

That's it, eek, you've broken my heart. We can never get married. My day is in tatters.

I'm a meatatarian. As much as I love my veggies there is no way I'm giving up my roast venison and barbequed ribs. My son married a veggan and they eat vegetarian all the time. But, if they go out to eat then my son will choose something with meat. Coral recently added fish to her diet because she was having trouble getting the vitimines she needed. I've been able to help out with that part of her diet.

Just be thankful that you have friends who care enough about you that they will buy you stuff... even if you neither need it or care.

OH, and by the way... cheap is good! Why waste money being ostentatious (spelling?)

A vegan and her name is Coral. Suprise suprise.

Why are Vegans named "Summer", "Coral", "River", or "Karma"...why not Susan or Bill?

Eek, is it that your friends are nit-picky, or simply shallow, self-centred trend-followers? (albeit that they seem nice enough to want you to join with them).

I only eat meat if I feel like it, got a rib eye on the thaw as I type.

My niece is a veggy, all she seems to eat when we go out with family is chips.

I don't put up with critics, living in the sticks gives you a LOT of flexibility in who you associate with.

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Eeek.

If I were you, I'd find what it is that irritates these 'friends' of yours and continue to do those things as much as possible.

Cheap sunglasses, who cares? There's nothing cheaper than criticising people because of the cost of the things they buy, how tacky and low class of them. I assume that for them it has to be a brand name? Yeeeucchh.

I think they are doing you a favour by not eating with you. At least that way you will get a break from their nonsense.

Thanks guys.

Just needed a little bit of a vent, because its beyond me why these things should be an issue.

Some just seem to like to pick faults. I dont find shallowness attractive. :/

Appreciate being able to let off steam and for the feedback.

Go and buy a really really really cheap watch. As tacky and cheap looking as possible, and big so it is noticeable.

Then wear it, jut to piss them off. This time it'll put a smile on your face when they start bitching again.

Go and buy a really really really cheap watch. As tacky and cheap looking as possible, and big so it is noticeable.

Then wear it, jut to piss them off. This time it'll put a smile on your face when they start bitching again.

And some 20 baht flip flops.

I only eat meat if I feel like it, got a rib eye on the thaw as I type.

My niece is a veggy, all she seems to eat when we go out with family is chips.

I don't put up with critics, living in the sticks gives you a LOT of flexibility in who you associate with.

Strange name for a niece that Scuds ?

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Yeah, I can feel where you're coming from (shoosh Sui), but I still prefer to think that maybe the "critisiser" is being altruistic and has a sincere desire to help.

Just as if a well-meaning Christian tries to prosletyse to me, I don't take offense.

(Which is not to say I wouldn't find it a tad bothersome)

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Yeah, I can feel where you're coming from (shoosh Sui), but I still prefer to think that maybe the "critisiser" is being altruistic and has a sincere desire to help.

Just as if a well-meaning Christian tries to prosletyse to me, I don't take offense.

(Which is not to say I wouldn't find it a tad bothersome)

Does that mean some Vicar once tried to give you a wooden leg ?

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Yeah, I can feel where you're coming from (shoosh Sui), but I still prefer to think that maybe the "critisiser" is being altruistic and has a sincere desire to help.

Just as if a well-meaning Christian tries to prosletyse to me, I don't take offense.

(Which is not to say I wouldn't find it a tad bothersome)

I'm with lanna on this one, and frankly, I dislike people who try to tell me how to live my life when unasked. That's not altruism, that's nosy interferism.

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Yeah, I can feel where you're coming from (shoosh Sui), but I still prefer to think that maybe the "critisiser" is being altruistic and has a sincere desire to help.

Just as if a well-meaning Christian tries to prosletyse to me, I don't take offense.

(Which is not to say I wouldn't find it a tad bothersome)

I'm with lanna on this one, and frankly, I dislike people who try to tell me how to live my life when unasked. That's not altruism, that's nosy interferism.

OK. I daresay that many "nosey interferers" are simply that.

What would you call a doctor, a skin specialist who you are not consulting with but who notices a blemish on your neck that she recognises as being malignant and so suggests you go see your doctor about it or offers some other advice? It's unasked for advice, but given with the best of intentions.

All I am saying is that I think some advice or suggestions given by strangers or aquaintances may be given with a sincere desire to see you benefit and is not a form of trying to dictate to you how to live your life.

Are you suggesting that a specialists advice on health is comparable to achoice of pens?

whats wrong with 26 baht tesco flip flops? my foot ware of choice int he los & during Uk summers.

As for the pen buyer, just say thanks & carry on using your own choice of cheap pen, when they ask "where is your pen", say, "oh dunno, someone borrowed it & haven't got it back yet, that's why I like to use the cheap ones

Always and everywhere you meet people who denigrate the choices of others, which have no bearing on their own lives whatsoever. My take is that they are so insecure in their own choices that the only way they can justify them is by constantly making derogatory comments about what others may choose to do. Even when those other's choices affect them in no way.

Yeah, I can feel where you're coming from (shoosh Sui), but I still prefer to think that maybe the "critisiser" is being altruistic and has a sincere desire to help.

Just as if a well-meaning Christian tries to prosletyse to me, I don't take offense.

(Which is not to say I wouldn't find it a tad bothersome)

I'm with lanna on this one, and frankly, I dislike people who try to tell me how to live my life when unasked. That's not altruism, that's nosy interferism.

OK. I daresay that many "nosey interferers" are simply that.

What would you call a doctor, a skin specialist who you are not consulting with but who notices a blemish on your neck that she recognises as being malignant and so suggests you go see your doctor about it or offers some other advice? It's unasked for advice, but given with the best of intentions.

All I am saying is that I think some advice or suggestions given by strangers or aquaintances may be given with a sincere desire to see you benefit and is not a form of trying to dictate to you how to live your life.

In this case, when it has to do with your choice of pens, footwear or vegetarianism, then yes, its nosy interferism. Its hardly a life threatening situation if you choose to use a cheap pen.

Perspective on these matters always helps

Are you suggesting that a specialists advice on health is comparable to achoice of pens?

Of course not. I'm suggesting that some people give advice with only good intent.

Fashion can be very important to some people, as can be public opinion to others, and health to others.

Fashion is not important to me, and if a fashionista aquaintance mentioned that the colour I wore was "so nineties", I would take it as well-meaning advice (as I know he/she does find it important not to be out-of-date), but choose not to follow it because I don't care.

The point being that I know it was important to her/him, I realise she/he made a mistake in assuming it was also important to me....but what the heck, how did it affect me? 20 seconds of listening.

I guess where I'm coming from is that I think advice should always be listened to, it doesn't have to be followed.....I'm not perfect after all, so I may just learn something helpfull from others that do know better.....albeit at the cost of having to listen to some that don't.

I prefer taking it with a healthy dose of perspective. "Advice" on what pen to use because one's pen is too cheap is not "helping" in my book, but, as eek so rightly points out, nitpicking to the nth degree over something very very minor. Frankly if I had someone that did that to me on a regular basis our acquaintance would no longer be regular as it speaks of an inability to be positive and to focus on critical negative thinking. Something I get plenty of on Thaivisa already, don't need it in real life, thanks

I prefer taking it with a healthy dose of perspective. "Advice" on what pen to use because one's pen is too cheap is not "helping" in my book, but, as eek so rightly points out, nitpicking to the nth degree over something very very minor. Frankly if I had someone that did that to me on a regular basis our acquaintance would no longer be regular as it speaks of an inability to be positive and to focus on critical negative thinking. Something I get plenty of on Thaivisa already, don't need it in real life, thanks

Fair enough, and I understand your position.......personally, I prefer to try to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't assume they are trying to dictate my life.

As I said...what does 20 seconds of listening do to me (even if it is each day)? Nada. And the "advisor" goes away thinking she/he has done a good deed and feels good....to me, that is a good thing.

It is simmilar to recieving a gift that I don't like. I recieve it in the spirit it was given, give thanks and smile, and appreciate the gesture. The fact that the gift gets re-gifted, put in the cupboard for eternity, or thrown away should not detract from the giver's good intention.

Eek, sounds like somebody is very insecure and cares far too much about what others think, and feels uncomfortable that you do not feel this way. Is she (or he) actually worth spending time with, is what I would ask myself if I were you.

Eek's story is reminiscent of the early criticisms of a partner foreshadowing a relationship on the rocks.

So when this person joked about snapping your $2 sunglasses, did you joke about reciprocating with their Raybans?

(And Eek, that was a rather rapid change in colour from red to green...)

Pens. I write alot with pens. I have a cheapy pen which I got free with three packs of cigs and a lighter a year ago. It writes well, smoothly and I like it.

I also have an expensive pen which does not write the same as the cheapy one. I just hope the lady with the three packs of cigs and a lighter and a pen comes to the pub again this year!!

I wear cheap clothes, the sales are on here at the moment, I shall wait till next month to buy the boots my mum wanted to buy me for Xmas - I shall get them for a third of the price. Also clothes, i am a size UK 8 - shall get some good deals - they have small sizes and humoungous sizes!!

Why waste money just to have the latest stuff. When there are good deals out there.

Last time in Thailand I came home with 10 pairs of "Raybans* and 10 pairs of "Oakleys", all gone now.

Nitpicker of the last god knows how many years - My Mother.

Last year was her 80th birthday - big celebration with the whole family and aunts and uncles etc.

At the time I had long, down my back, hair. Auburn. I always kept it up in a pony tail or a clip or whatever. She expressed the fact that i was too old for long hair (still thinks she's a teenager) to the whole family.

Roll on September, I cut it to chin level. Loved it etc.

Went for Christmas and all she said was that I needed to dye it because i was going a bit too grey.... Can't win.

And she can nit pick, because she is the matriarch - and Irish to boot!! But if you ever turn on her with your views, better run for your life!!

I myself nit pick.

I have a friend who comes over here from Dublin about twice a year.

Now, I live on my own with the cat, so I really look forward to visitors. Then I can cook and clean and be a perfect person, instead of wallowing.

So, I clean up my flat and do normal things.

Then, the friend arrives. OK, kiss kiss - duty free. Cigs thanks, ok.

First evening is fun catching up on gossip etc. eat the perfect dinner that I have prepared.

Next day - all hell breaks loose.

The friend (male) goes out at around midday. I say dinner shall be served at 9pm - friend rolls in at 11.

Next night 12

Next night later.

Patsy angry, friend drunk.

Patsy also drunk after waiting 5 hours for friend to come eat her delicious meal.

Patsy very angry, friend falls asleep. Patsy falls asleep.

Moral of the story - We are still friends since 12 years and get over the <deleted>. And laugh...

Thats not nitpicking patsy, and sorry harcourt but criticizing someone's PEN is not helpful advice in any sense of the word. And what does 20 seconds of my day mean when listening to this? It means I have wasted 20 seconds of my day on a control freak when I could have been doing something more productive, like cleaning my toenails.

... It means I have wasted 20 seconds of my day on a control freak when I could have been doing something more productive...

I was thinking the same thing but left it out thinking I might seem presumptuous. Let's face facts here though, that's exactly what we're talking about, a control freak.

I used to work with somebody who would freak if I put anything in 'their' bin. 'Their" bin next to "their" desk was for use by them and them only and should anybody put so much as a sweet wrapper in there, they would flip and go mental.

So, yours truly would fill it up whenever they left the office

About my friend in my nitpicking thingy up there.

<deleted>, he's coming over in February for a week's holiday....

Mantra - no nitpicking no nitpicking no nitpicking