The Emasculated Farang

[mrmazinkle]

In my travels met many farang here.At present 2 come to mind.Both have Thai wives.Both in the same situation.They have invested most of evrything here and now are afraid to upset the boat.In consequence meekly follow their wives dictates.Lambs to the slaughter.The first is having a new house built which will take the rest of his savings..He has a rather nice bungalow in Udon which apparently was not good enough any more.She told him no need to sell that It's a good investment..I know for whom...My second friend has a business and land here in Esarn.All in her name of course..I asked her once did she love him..her answer was yes BUT.......I know where her love lies...I hope I am wrong but I think I can envisage the miserable futures for these guys.I cannot say anything to them as it's their business ..Am I very wrong..Have you seen this here?Is it you maybe you or 1 of YOUR friends?..Is it all we can do to feel sorry for them?your thoughts please..Thomas

[bkkjames]

Thomas - there are support groups you can join - no need to air your dirty laundry on TV

[inmysights]

Thomas - there are support groups you can join - no need to air your dirty laundry on TV

LOL!

[craigt3365]

How about we move this over to the Farang Pub?

[Heng]

From what I've seen, there are an awful lot of people in this boat. Partially their own fault through choice of partner, but also because of the unfair legal situation that gives the local a pretty significant advantage in the long run. Sometimes the natural course of a lot of relationships is that folks grow tired of each other... kind of hard to keep one's 'house' balance when one party in the house 'owns' none of the assets. Doesn't take too many loud 'foreign' or 'local' rants or arguments before the local party says... well you can just leave with everything you 'own'... that is nothing at all.

Edited February 25, 2011 by Heng

[WAYNEandAEI]

I believe the key is to choose your "life" partner very carefully. Or make no choose at all....

[MegaRanter]

be sure to always have an outstanding loan against every property you have no say about but was acquired by your funds.

[powderpuff]

There are 100,000's of Thai women roaming around. Certainly no need to marrry one. If she starts getting on your nerves - find a new one. Pu$$ywhipped is not fun. Saw too much of it in the States.

Almost forgot to add. Rent don't buy a place to live. That way you can both just walk away.

If your wife asks for money for her family - bin her.

Edited February 25, 2011 by powderpuff

[IanForbes]

You already know my thoughts on the matter. I posted my view on this forum that was immediately closed as a troll. But, it works for the occasional person. They SHOULD know the risks going in, though. But, it's not really that much different in North America or Europe where the woman can walk off with half of everything a man has worked his whole life building. Look how much is cost Paul McCartney. The New York mayor who hired a VERY EXPENSIVE profession call girl who charge $2000 a night got off far cheaper. Most escort services will give you a FAR better deal if it's only companionship you want.

[mrmazinkle]

Thomas - there are support groups you can join - no need to air your dirty laundry on TV

Wow no wonder youve got so many posts...I am sure they are mostly as useful as this..(No stupid smiley attchd)

[Shotime]

Most married men I know are emasculated. Not only in Thailand. They need a Mother to tell them what to do.

[StreetCowboy]

Thomas - there are support groups you can join - no need to air your dirty laundry on TV

Wow no wonder youve got so many posts...I am sure they are mostly as useful as this..(No stupid smiley attchd)

Oh, the irony of it!

SC

Oh the irony of it!

SC

[jimbeam1]

How about we move this over to the Farang Pub?

I would have thought room 101 a better choice

jb1

[fletchsmile]

Thomas,

No, not me. No, not my friends either. I have seen it happen though, but not with people I'm close with. Must be the circles you mix in. I suggest you get out more and develop wider friendships

[chickenslegs]

Some men are destined to be emasculated, henpecked, under the thumb, whatever you want to call it, and will be so whether they are in a relationship with a Thai, European or Martian.

I suspect that most of the Western men living here, and married to Thai women, are the sole earner (or, at least, the major one) so they could just walk away from the relationship, perhaps leaving their partner 'property rich' but 'cash poor'.

They could probably survive quite nicely here on their income, bearing in mind that they would no longer have a home or wife to support, or they could head home and rebuild a life.

Ok, they would be walking away from a substantial investment - but life is very short and happiness is more important than a stack of bricks.

So, I have to conclude that they must prefer to be a henpecked husband rather than 'bite the bullet' and make a new start - that is their choice.

Personally, we have everything in my wife's name here. We also have all bank accounts and savings in our joint names, both here and in the UK. If Thai law permitted it, everything here would be in our joint names, but it doesn't.

If I ever felt we didn't have an equal partnership I would walk away without hesitation (well, no hesitation regarding the financial issues anyway).

Luckily for me, that is not a likely scenario.

Reason for edit: Just to add - This is an interesting topic and I don't understand why it has been relegated to "pub".

Edited February 25, 2011 by chickenslegs

[travelmann]

"In my travels met many farang here.At present 2 come to mind.Both have Thai wives.Both in the same situation.They have invested most of evrything here and now are afraid to upset the boat.In consequence meekly follow their wives dictates.Lambs to the slaughter.The first is having a new house built which will take the rest of his savings..He has a rather nice bungalow in Udon which apparently was not good enough any more.She told him no need to sell that It's a good investment..I know for whom...My second friend has a business and land here in Esarn.All in her name of course..I asked her once did she love him..her answer was yes BUT.......I know where her love lies...I hope I am wrong but I think I can envisage the miserable futures for these guys.I cannot say anything to them as it's their business ..Am I very wrong..Have you seen this here?Is it you maybe you or 1 of YOUR friends?..Is it all we can do to feel sorry for them?your thoughts please..Thomas"

Look there are stupid people everywhere in the world just get used to it

[glomp]

And some dudes just like to sit around drinking beer. If it takes a "yes dear" to make them go away why not just do it

But it looks like they are pussywipped then, not out doing all the other things married real men does that doesnt require permission. What is that? hookers and blow?

[KRS1]

Sounds the same as any woman in the west or anywhere in the world for that matter.

The woman is the boss inside the home, outside, the man is the boss.

All my friends have been divorced at least once in the US.

Same Same...

[ukrules]

I really don't see a reason why any man should ever get married to anyone.

[stickman]

There are many Western guys in that situation in Thailand. When you hear stories like this in Thailand, there always seems to be a common denominator...

[endure]

I'm glad I'm queer

[ukrules]

There are many Western guys in that situation in Thailand. When you hear stories like this in Thailand, there always seems to be a common denominator...

You're right, but not in the way in which you might first think. The so called human need for companionship is completely and utterly flawed as far as I'm concerned.

I know this isn't what you are referring to, however I do often wonder why people find the need to run from one 'relationship' to another, it's a flaw in the perception of what people call normality.

[IanForbes]

I really don't see a reason why any man should ever get married to anyone.

I would say that it is a personal choice. Many men enjoy raising a family and are proud of their children. However, unless your partner has similar interests there's not much else to talk about. And, when you add into the mix a vast difference in cultures and language you have further problems. The sex thing is an entirely different issue. You can't live on sex alone, and that includes great sex. There has to be something else besides great sex to keep a marriage together.

Eventually, you realize that material possessions are just expensive "junk" that most of us can do without. You can only sit on one chair at a time, and sleep in one bed. You can eat off you lap if you have to, but any sort of simple table will suffice.

[KRS1]

I really don't see a reason why any man should ever get married to anyone.

Your right, I'm going to stay single, thanks for setting me straight. :jap:

[gamini]

Before you marry a Thai girl look at yourself in the mirror and if you  think you can find a similar young and attractive girl in your own country; then marry the Thai girl. If not, don't, because she is only marrying you for your money. To put it more bluntly, if you are fat, not too good looking or old, clearly she is marrying you for your money. <br>

[Geekfreaklover]

I really don't see a reason why any man should ever get married to anyone.

Neither do I, unless she is rolling in money.

Don't happen to Farang in thailand too often though

Edited February 26, 2011 by Geekfreaklover

[Theoutsider]

No friend of mine.

They get no sympathy from me.

Hope they get taken for a ride, it makes for endless c%^p threads .

[Heng]

be sure to always have an outstanding loan against every property you have no say about but was acquired by your funds.

Excellent financial advice, carry as much debt as you can handle on all of 'your' properties. Ah, and hope she doesn't 'upgrade' to someone who is willing to take over your debt payments.

[Heng]

Certainly no need to marrry one.

The more common ball and chain I see is an out of wedlock child, not the marriage papers. And then the foreigner is in pretty much 'permanent' situation because of a 'mistake' with someone he can barely communicate with XX years ago, often taken care of misc. offspring from various other fellows. Downward emasculating spiral.

Edited February 26, 2011 by Heng

[monkeystrong]

....my freedom I hold dear.

-Led Zepplin-ramble on