Crimes Against Thaivisa Members

[Soutpeel]

Crime: Farang personages who call themselves either "Ajarn" or "Khun" when referring to themselves

Punishment: locked in an isolation cell for 10 days and forced to watch either Thai palimentary debates or popular Thai soaps for the whole period of incareration.

[damo]

To the OP, for the first time today I had a laugh, thanks, needed that ya funny cun_t.

[DocN]

Crime: Any "holier than thou"- attitude on any given subject (especially the notorious "bargirls are all bad and despicable human beings"- attitudes).

Punishment: 1 year of min. 5 Ping Pong shows per evening, where the working girls are not younger than 45 years.

[StreetCowboy]

Crime: Any "holier than thou"- attitude on any given subject (especially the notorious "bargirls are all bad and despicable human beings"- attitudes).

Punishment: 1 year of min. 5 Ping Pong shows per evening, where the working girls are not younger than 45 years.

Does "mine's different" count (when one is talking about one's wife... !)

SC

[UbonOz]

Crime: Any "holier than thou"- attitude on any given subject (especially the notorious "bargirls are all bad and despicable human beings"- attitudes).

Punishment: 1 year of min. 5 Ping Pong shows per evening, where the working girls are not younger than 45 years.

Does "mine's different" count (when one is talking about one's wife... !)

SC

They are all the same, if they did not have a "you know what" you would not talk to them.

[StreetCowboy]

Crime: Any "holier than thou"- attitude on any given subject (especially the notorious "bargirls are all bad and despicable human beings"- attitudes).

Punishment: 1 year of min. 5 Ping Pong shows per evening, where the working girls are not younger than 45 years.

Does "mine's different" count (when one is talking about one's wife... !)

SC

They are all the same, if they did not have a "you know what" you would not talk to them.

? Sock-puppet ?

As if I would talk to anyone...

SC

[David48]

Crime: what is the exchange rate, Thai baht/Pound Sterling.

Punishment: come on holiday to Thailand with 23kg of check-in luggage with one pound coins inside and find out.

Cough ...

No-one posting on this thread would be quilty of this crime ... would they

Edit ... NOT directed at you UbonOz (just for clairfication ... phew!)

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[connda]

Crime:

Insisting on being Politically Correct on this forum.

Punishment:

Forced to write on a whiteboard, "I will develop a thicker skin." a million times - or - until your writing hand turns black for lack of blood - or - until you are overcome by white board marker fumes.

[connda]

Crime: Can I extend my Visa which I got when I arrived at the Airport?

... someone else up for the punishment ?

Immediate deportation to Laos.

[David48]

Does "mine's different" count (when one is talking about one's wife... !)

SC

Unfortunately no, because the OP has already given us an accurate descriptor of his wife ...

My Thai-Chinese Hi-So wife is on the board of one of the biggest corporations in the country. In a land of beautiful women, she is a cover girl. Her father, an Army General, was so delighted that I agreed to marry her that he paid my family 10 million baht sin sot. My father, being Scottish, kept the money for himself.

On the day of the wedding, the new mother in law called in some favours from her Hollywood cronies and the venue was like a film set ( the mother in law owns a major film production company). I didn't get to see my wife for 6 weeks before the wedding as she was in a Nepalese Temple being taught the art of satisfaction ( Kama Sutra style ). At the age of 21, she was still naive in the ways of men and her mother insisted that she learn how to be obedient to me and to serve my every need in the bedroom. I love my Mother In Law, very much.

Realizing that I am the bearer of the precious seed of childhood, my new family insist that I do not work, in case I damage my future fertilization prospects. So I spend all my days lazing by the pool at the family palace. To alleviate the boredom, I have three ( ahem ) hand maidens to attend to my every need. If I ever want to leave the residence, one of the hand maidens calls Uncle Wit, the regional police commander, who arranges police outriders to accompany my limousine. It can be quite embarrassing when I only want to pop out for a packet of Cheerios.

When It is report to the wife that I have left the premises, the hand maidens get chastised for not attending to my every need, and often one get's fired. This results in a totally new hand maiden being delivered to me the next day. It really is a hard life.

I happen to know that every other Thaivisa member has a wife of the same calibre so I won't waste your time telling you where I met mine.

From http://www.thaivisa....ll/page__st__25

And just to add a postscript, I married his younger, more beautiful sister-in-law!

Since that's ruled out ... next crime please.

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[David48]

Crime:

Insisting on being Politically Correct on this forum.

Punishment:

Forced to write on a whiteboard, "I will develop a thicker skin." a million times - or - until your writing hand turns black for lack of blood - or - until you are overcome by white board marker fumes.

... or a 'blackboard' if he is using chalk

[connda]

Crime:

Insisting on being Politically Correct on this forum.

Punishment:

Forced to write on a whiteboard, "I will develop a thicker skin." a million times - or - until your writing hand turns black for lack of blood - or - until you are overcome by white board marker fumes.

... or a 'blackboard' if he is using chalk

Ask someone under 20 years old what a blackboard is, and watch for dazed and confused looks.

[StreetCowboy]

Does "mine's different" count (when one is talking about one's wife... !)

SC

Unfortunately no, because the OP has already given us an accurate descriptor of his wife ...

My Thai-Chinese Hi-So wife is on the board of one of the biggest corporations in the country. In a land of beautiful women, she is a cover girl. Her father, an Army General, was so delighted that I agreed to marry her that he paid my family 10 million baht sin sot. My father, being Scottish, kept the money for himself.

On the day of the wedding, the new mother in law called in some favours from her Hollywood cronies and the venue was like a film set ( the mother in law owns a major film production company). I didn't get to see my wife for 6 weeks before the wedding as she was in a Nepalese Temple being taught the art of satisfaction ( Kama Sutra style ). At the age of 21, she was still naive in the ways of men and her mother insisted that she learn how to be obedient to me and to serve my every need in the bedroom. I love my Mother In Law, very much.

Realizing that I am the bearer of the precious seed of childhood, my new family insist that I do not work, in case I damage my future fertilization prospects. So I spend all my days lazing by the pool at the family palace. To alleviate the boredom, I have three ( ahem ) hand maidens to attend to my every need. If I ever want to leave the residence, one of the hand maidens calls Uncle Wit, the regional police commander, who arranges police outriders to accompany my limousine. It can be quite embarrassing when I only want to pop out for a packet of Cheerios.

When It is report to the wife that I have left the premises, the hand maidens get chastised for not attending to my every need, and often one get's fired. This results in a totally new hand maiden being delivered to me the next day. It really is a hard life.

I happen to know that every other Thaivisa member has a wife of the same calibre so I won't waste your time telling you where I met mine.

From http://www.thaivisa....ll/page__st__25

And just to add a postscript, I married his younger, more beautiful sister!

Since that's ruled out ... next crime please.

Having seen pictures of theblether, "his younger, more beautiful sister" is a broad net that could hold trout instead of nymphs

SC

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Crime: Stating 'This topic has run its course' and then closing it, when it's clear that there are a dozen or more valued members actively involved in it and enjoying it.

Punishment: Working the night shift.

Edited March 5, 2012 by WinnieTheKhwai

[StreetCowboy]

Crime: Stating 'This topic has run its course' and then closing it, when it's clear that there are a dozen or more valued members actively involved in it and enjoying it.

Send us a postcard when you go...

SC

Edited March 5, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[David48]

And just to add a postscript, I married his younger, more beautiful sister!

Since that's ruled out ... next crime please.

Having seen pictures of theblether, "his younger, more beautiful sister" is a broad net that could hold trout instead of nymphs SC

Bugger got me there ...

I quickly realised my mistake and changed it to 'Sister-in-Law' ... but you were too quick!

[phutoie2]

Stating the phrase " I have lived in Thailand X number of years and this has never happened to me" in a topic reply.

Punishment:- made to read te*kdoor or listen to Radio Pattaya for an hour. Both intolerable.

[Soutpeel]

Crime:

Insisting on being Politically Correct on this forum.

Punishment:

Forced to write on a whiteboard, "I will develop a thicker skin." a million times - or - until your writing hand turns black for lack of blood - or - until you are overcome by white board marker fumes.

... or a 'blackboard' if he is using chalk

Cant use the term "blackboard" old chap.....the PC personages will be out calling you a racist....the proper PC terminology for this is a "chalkboard" please write this out 100 times " I am not a racist... but"

Ajarn Soutie

Edited March 5, 2012 by Soutpeel

[attrayant]

I think the OP should start his own forums where he can try to enforce whatever harebrained rules he likes.

Yes, some questions get asked repeatedly. It may even be more frustrating for long time members to have to read them (at gunpoint I assume, since simply not opening the thread doesn't seem to be an option for some).

What may better serve the newbies is a FAQ pinned at the top of each set of forums. And the information needs to be updated so that it's current. Pinning six year old threads with over a thousand replies is ridiculous.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=13.891642,100.615483

[Soutpeel]

I think the OP should start his own forums where he can try to enforce whatever harebrained rules he likes.

Yes, some questions get asked repeatedly. It may even be more frustrating for long time members to have to read them (at gunpoint I assume, since simply not opening the thread doesn't seem to be an option for some).

What may better serve the newbies is a FAQ pinned at the top of each set of forums. And the information needs to be updated so that it's current. Pinning six year old threads with over a thousand replies is ridiculous.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.c...1642,100.615483

Crime: TV members with absolutely no sense of humour...

Punishment: all expenses paid week in Dubai with Thailand's favourite son....Khun T or alternatively enforced exile in Zimbabwe

[David48]

Crime:

Insisting on being Politically Correct on this forum.

Punishment:

Forced to write on a whiteboard, "I will develop a thicker skin." a million times - or - until your writing hand turns black for lack of blood - or - until you are overcome by white board marker fumes.

... or a 'blackboard' if he is using chalk

Cant use the term "blackboard" old chap.....the PC personages will be out calling you a racist....the proper PC terminology for this is a "chalkboard" please write this out 100 times " I am not a racist... but"

I wonder if chalk was black and we used a whiteboard (20 years ago when I was in school) the term would attract so much attention?

BUT I digress ...

Crime: Do we like MK Restaurants?

Punishment: Having to eat there morning, noon and night for 30 days

I apologise in advance but do take a look at the thread ... http://www.thaivisa....-who-loves-mks/

The title is "Who Loves Mk'S? This would have to be the first meal every time I fly into BKK"

He's a newbie with 27 posts.

The Avatar says Imagination Rocks

Two kids with cardboard boxes over their heads.

He's an Aussie ... (so am I)

Oh ... what the heck ... he's started low and his posting career can only be up from here

PS ... I'll fess up here, I'm so-so on the place (MK's) ... but the Thai GF loves it ... maybe it's about 'face' and that you have enough money to spend on overpriced food. Lucky for me that I'm a bit partial to the duck and it's accompanying sauce.

Edit ... my piss poor spelling

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[GreenSnapper]

Crime: Insisting that men must only date women of same age.

Punishment: Having a woman of same age.

[David48]

I think the OP should start his own forums where he can try to enforce whatever harebrained rules he likes.

Yes, some questions get asked repeatedly. It may even be more frustrating for long time members to have to read them (at gunpoint I assume, since simply not opening the thread doesn't seem to be an option for some).

What may better serve the newbies is a FAQ pinned at the top of each set of forums. And the information needs to be updated so that it's current. Pinning six year old threads with over a thousand replies is ridiculous.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.c...1642,100.615483

Crime: TV members with absolutely no sense of humour...

Punishment: all expenses paid week in Dubai with Thailand's favourite son....Khun T or alternatively enforced exile in Zimbabwe

Come on now guys ... lets not make it too personal, otherwise it will degenerate in a rant session, instead of something we can have a bit of fun with.

Ranting could be a subtle crime !

[Beetlejuice]

Justice:

Eradicating the Chiang Mai food thread mafia.

[David48]

Justice:

Eradicating the Chiang Mai food thread mafia.

. ↑

Crime: Annoying Animated Avatars

Punishment: … anyone?

... opps, slipped close to ranting there ... apoligies in advance

(No, you are wrong ... I did not mention Boater ... is this thing on? Testing. 1, 2, 3 ...)

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[Soutpeel]

. Punishment: … anyone?

Posting actual photographs of their Hi-so Thai-Chinese wives

[hellodolly]

QUOTE:

Crime 5.............Asking " Am I gay if I like Ladyboys"

Punishment.......Ehm, I can't think of a punishment, you'll need to give me a hand here

UNQUOTE

Tops!

It's the delivery. I'll bet some of our readers missed that one...

SC

Seen it, but wasn't getting involved with that one, just turn the other cheek!

Which set

[David48]

. Punishment: … anyone?

Posting actual photographs of their Hi-so Thai-Chinese wives

Looks like OP, the audience is asking for a photo of your hi-so wife.

Can you please oblige?

But personally I find bleathers Avatar mildly amusing and a touch cute, especially if that's his footie teams beenie.

[theblether]

I think the OP should start his own forums where he can try to enforce whatever harebrained rules he likes.

Yes, some questions get asked repeatedly. It may even be more frustrating for long time members to have to read them (at gunpoint I assume, since simply not opening the thread doesn't seem to be an option for some).

What may better serve the newbies is a FAQ pinned at the top of each set of forums. And the information needs to be updated so that it's current. Pinning six year old threads with over a thousand replies is ridiculous.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=13.891642,100.615483

I can see you being the first member banished to Canada

[hellodolly]

It does seem to be a crime to compare anything Thai unfavourably against anything from your home country.

Strangely, the opposite is perfectly acceptable.

punishment

being forced to live ina hill tribe village for a month