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Milwaukee Judge indicted for Aiding Immigrant's Escape from ICE Custody
undocumented immigrant = illegal immigrant right? -
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How to tell if you're dealing with a MAGA folk?
Just shut up. You call people names all the time. You are not self aware. -
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Report Israeli Tourist Busted for Selling Magic Mushrooms on Koh Samui
OK., so what crimes did Roman Abramovich commit ? He hasn't been convicted of any crimes on a Court of law . On what basis have you labelled him as being criminal ? What crimes has he committed ? -
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Rub, Tug, and a Plumbing Surprise: Welcome to Thailand, Rupert!
So my mate Rupert lands in Chiang Mai, fresh off the plane from Kensington, after legging a domestic flight up from Bangkok, now feelin’ like he’s just escaped a hedge fund collapse. Hair all tousled, shirt stickin’ to his back like a clingy ex, and mutterin’ about Heathrow delays and cryin’ babies. Says to me he needs to “decompress” which, in posh speak, means find a massage spot that ends with a bit of wrist action and a towel over the eyes. Nothin’ too shady, he reckons, just a rub and a tug to take the edge off the jet lag. Anyway, I point him toward one of the local joints around the moat that’s known for leavin’ customers with a smile and a slightly guilty conscience. He struts in like he’s James Bond on a secret mission, tells the receptionist he’s not after the full Monty, just a gentle stroke of the king and a bit of moisturiser on the conclusion. He reckons everything went smooth as silk, warm oil, a bit of small talk, classical music playin’ in the background, then boom, curtains closed, job well done. Here’s where it gets interestin’. After the deed’s done, Rupert pops into the bathroom to rinse off his gentleman’s agreement, right? Next thing he knows, the massage therapist strolls in right after him, whips out a meat and two veg, and starts havin’ a slash like it’s just another Tuesday. Rupert clocks it mid-stream and nearly drops his flannel in the sink. He rings me up in full panic mode, whisperin’ like MI5’s got his phone tapped, askin’ “Lewie, bruv… does this make me gay?” I told him straight, “Mate, unless you started singin’ show tunes and lightin’ candles, you’re probably still in the straight lane. You didn’t touch it, kiss it, or offer to split the bill, you got your rod polished and that’s that.” But he’s still havin’ a full-blown existential crisis like he’s just woken up in a Tom of Finland sketch. Keeps sayin’ “But Lewie, I felt somethin’, maybe it was more than a just hand on my tool box.” Yeah mate, you felt shame, confusion, and possibly a bit of coconut oil in the wrong crevice. Now he’s walkin’ around Central Airport with that haunted look in his eyes like he’s seen the ghost of Margaret Thatcher in a miniskirt. Keeps checkin’ himself out in the mirror like he’s waitin’ for his wrists to start goin’ limp or his Spotify to recommend Men at Work. I told him to pull himself together, this is Thailand, not Tunbridge Wells. Half the birds are blokes and half the blokes are on hormones, it’s a bloody gender funfair out here. So I tell him like this: "When you’re lookin’ for a happy endin’, don’t go in expectin’ a fairy tale. You might just get Cinderella with a surprise under her ball gown. But as long as no one’s tryin’ to marry you or nick your wallet, relax, have a Chang, and chalk it up to cultural exchange. Welcome to land of smiles, Rupert. Next round’s on you, lad." -
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Milwaukee Judge indicted for Aiding Immigrant's Escape from ICE Custody
Does undocumented mean illegal? So basically she helped a criminal?
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