Her Laziness Drives Me Crazy

[Wikinger2]

A question to all the henpecked husbands out there:

How lazy/hard working is your thai wife?

I ask due to the behavior of my spouse. To be honest she is not really lazy because she do "her duty" in the house very well. No reason to complain.

This keeps her busy around 1 or 2 hours daily. The rest of her day is looking gaga TV, play with Ipad, sleeping.

No move to much, no step to much, no intellectual input. No lerning English, no hobby, no sport.

She studied at university but know nothing. Not even about her home country. Highest mountain, her own religion or history not nessessary to dig very deep. May be you know how it is when you ask something to your wife and she cannot answer. Must be this losing face thing. Get sour.

We stay together one year now. The exciting things are done, sexual charme decreases. What left is her behavior what is completely different from mine. One day she try to keep on her sleeping weare all day. Change for what if she stay in the house. I gave her my opinion about this.

Not that I am a hard worker, I am early retired, not working here. But I am sportive, ride my bike or run daily, read papers, write mails to my friends, never look TV except it is football. Go to the sauna and have some conversation.

Am I hypercritical, what are your experiences? Time to leave?

Edited July 20, 2012 by Wikinger2

[notmyself]

Ask yourself this.... Do you see things getting better.

[arthurwait]

Up yo youuuuuuuuu.

[travelmann]

I dont think there's a time when ,my wife isnt working, its 24 hours a day, i do the housework washing ironing etc, i cant keep up with her, she earns a packet but she does have to work hard for it, usually dealing with Farang idiots half the time, id tell em to F.Off but she works her magic and hooks them in..................rents/owns condos before u ask

At times though its hard to do anything with her at all, start a conversation, phone rings, go out to eat, phone rings etc etc all is business, I shoudltn complain shes a great honest woman and hasnt changed one bit in the 6 years weve been married whereas I find myself getting lazier.

Edited July 20, 2012 by travelmann

[NanLaew]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

[phl]

i dated one like that and after 2 years, i simply gave up and showed her the door.

mine use to wake up in the morning, have breakfast and state she needs to sleep more because she was soooo tired.

same things happened after the first nap and second and third and continued for 2 years

[taninthai]

I think I'm more like your wfe quite often I'm back in the hammock as sleep a couple of hours after getting up, last week one day I didn't get up till 2 in the afternoon .....lolmy misses the opposite up at the crack of dawn cannot relax always cleaning and wanting it done there and then she does play on her iPad a fair bit once she is happy everything is done buts that's fine no problems

Edited July 20, 2012 by taninthai

[Thongkorn]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

this lady has had a hard life pity you use her as an example.

[Heng]

For an X segment of all populations, there will be those who prefer not working and worse yet, not working AND not planning ahead. If you give someone like this too much slack, it's far more likely that'll they will trip themselves up rather than build upon it successfully. I have a new customer whose husband held their family home registered under his company for the last decade or so.....his health has been failing for the last year and just two months ago transferred ownership to the wife just in case. It took her exactly six weeks from that transfer date to take out a loan against the chanote as collateral without any signs of investing it in anything.

:-)

[nocturn]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

That is truly dire

[Ohyesuare]

Leave your computer open with a webpage looking up how to divorce in Thailand without leaving the wife anything (in Thai of course), then see how lazy she continues to be.

[nocturn]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

this lady has had a hard life pity you use her as an example.

you know her?

[MrsMills]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

this lady has had a hard life pity you use her as an example.

you know her?

Been in Pattaya for years.

[jinjinswing]

Haha....well my ex was a worker, started her working life as a journalist and steadily went down hill from there, so smart and such an underachiever, when she got to Australia she managed to get a job in a Thai resturant the second day, from one to six nights a week by the end of the first year....

The darling would spend hours on the computer or socialize with her Thai workmates during the day then go work at nights, the house looked clean she only ever did the basics, I had to ask her to clean the shower more often than monthly etc etc.

Thai women want us to believe that there all the nice things that said about them but after my experience with her and a few after I'm not so sure there all that there cracked out to be.

At least mine went to work, and she was great with my dog little bugger loved getting dirty, she kept him clean and that's about it, she could hardly cook but learned to working in that resturant but she was hardly ever home to cook for me, cleaning...well just basic, and I had to ask her to iron my things....of course she's an ex now.

[travelmann]

Post a picture. You may get some takers.

this lady has had a hard life pity you use her as an example.

Here this is her.................I forgot!

She had a hard time too.......................doing her nails........

Edited July 20, 2012 by travelmann

[JSixpack]

Thais CAN be just that lazy. Hard to understand, perhaps. But then again different people have different metabolisms and goals.

She takes care of you & the house and is there for you. She's happy the way she is. She accepts your difference. Now, I know some very dynamic people who have a lot more energy than I do, always buzzing around. They make me tired!

So, you know more than her, even about Thailand. So what? She doesn't have to be Wikipedia just 'cause you think she should. Maybe there's something to be said for keeping useless facts and trivia out of your brain. She has her own set of trivia about her own family, you can be sure. From some points of view, including of course hers, you are being too controlling.

Maybe you can interest her in some of your interests. But if not, I'd look on the bright side: she stays out of your way so that you can do exactly what you want w/ YOUR time. You can get a lot done for yourself if you don't much have to worry about including her. You get more independence.

Did you ever think that she's waiting for a child or two to take care of? That's hard work but may be what she really wants and would be great at doing.

I think the relationship is salvageable.

[nocturn]

Haha....well my ex was a worker, started her working life as a journalist and steadily went down hill from there, so smart and such an underachiever, when she got to Australia she managed to get a job in a Thai resturant the second day, from one to six nights a week by the end of the first year....

The darling would spend hours on the computer or socialize with her Thai workmates during the day then go work at nights, the house looked clean she only ever did the basics, I had to ask her to clean the shower more often than monthly etc etc.

Thai women want us to believe that there all the nice things that said about them but after my experience with her and a few after I'm not so sure there all that there cracked out to be.

At least mine went to work, and she was great with my dog little bugger loved getting dirty, she kept him clean and that's about it, she could hardly cook but learned to working in that resturant but she was hardly ever home to cook for me, cleaning...well just basic, and I had to ask her to iron my things....of course she's an ex now.

were you looking for a partner or a maid, what exactly did you contribute to the equation?

[David48]

To the OP ...

Yep, time to move on.

If you are a good catch (self implied) then you will easily meet a new mate whose attitude to life is closer to your expectations and, Thailand being the great place that it is (if you have a little money) you will happily ever after.

If, however, with your next relationship, you find yourself in a similar situation, it would be time to look in the mirror and not at your other half as the root cause of the issues and problems that you perceive.

Really this is a relationship issue and not a uniquely Thai one.

If you do decide to move on, don't rush back into a relationship the first time you are feeling lonely ... wait a while, look around. There are some absolutely smashing girls out there ...

[cdnvic]

How much time did you take getting to know her before jumping into marriage?

[PoodMaiDai]

They do like to sleep. At home and at work.

[JAS21]

I think I'm more like your wfe quite often I'm back in the hammock as sleep a couple of hours after getting up, last week one day I didn't get up till 2 in the afternoon .....lolmy misses the opposite up at the crack of dawn cannot relax always cleaning and wanting it done there and then she does play on her iPad a fair bit once she is happy everything is done buts that's fine no problems

You two should swap.......................

[barefoot1988]

women and men are just different. dated afew ladies back home and its the same, during weekends and off they just laze around, play the internet, pajamas on all the time and completely clueless about economy and everything. sounds normal but you just seems like a jerk looking for a divorce for such lame reasons. how wide is the age gap between you and your wife? maybe you are just a tard way too boring for her to interact with you. seriously jogging, biking, writing mails, saunas and conversation???

Edited July 21, 2012 by barefoot1988

[Scott]

Photo removed.

Edit: An oversized photo has also been removed.

Edited July 21, 2012 by Scott

[johna]

Buy her a pack of cards and invite the neighboring wife's over.

[Wikinger2]

I have to confess we are not really married. Stay together now one and a half y. At any time she decided we are married (sami/mia). In public and for her friends we are married. Not for my people of course.

In the beginning it was funny, now I do not care. Only words.

To complete I am not a health freak, drink my beer, like my weekly binge, but fill my day with little things. No TV does not mean no screen. I look my home TV in Ipad. Only to have this clear.

The age gap is big, she is 28, I am 53. In my opinion not really conclusive regarding to my problem.

Yes, I can try to take her how she is. People are different. She is very pretty, slim, hour glass shaping, for me a perfect 9.

Externally I cannot get something better. She give me no reasons to be jealous, she keep our money together.

When I come home from some activities all work in the house is done (my job is outside and garden), soup is simmering etc.

But I can be sure tv is to hear befor I do one step into the house. Drive me crazy. Nothing what she do has any sense. Her English was quite good in the beginning but gets worse due to her negligence and laziness to find the right words and pronounce right. No effords to improve her skills.

I not showed her my irritatation until now. In her eyes she makes nothing wrong and she loves me.

Probably is everything my fault. Not loose and relaxed enough. But on the other side I can not force myselfe to be another person.

I catch myself now more and more to think obout better staying alone. Not sure if I really love her anymore. And can save a lot of money.

Edited July 21, 2012 by Wikinger2

[KunMatt]

I have to confess we are not really married. Stay together now one and a half y. At any time she decided we are married (sami/mia). In public and for her friends we are married. Not for my people of course.

In the beginning it was funny, now I do not care. Only words.

To complete I am not a health freak, drink my beer, like my weekly binge, but fill my day with little things. No TV does not mean no screen. I look my home TV in Ipad. Only to have this clear.

The age gap is big, she is 28, I am 53. In my opinion not really conclusive regarding to my problem.

Yes, I can try to take her how she is. People are different. She is very pretty, slim, hour glass shaping, for me a perfect 9.

Externally I cannot get something better. She give me no reasons to be jealous, she keep our money together.

When I come home from some activities all work in the house is done (my job is outside and garden), soup is simmering etc.

But I can be sure tv is to hear befor I do one step into the house. Drive me crazy. Nothing what she do has any sense. Her English was quite good in the beginning but gets worse due to her negligence and laziness to find the right words and pronounce right. No effords to improve her skills.

I not showed her my irritatation until now. In her eyes she makes nothing wrong and she loves me.

Probably is everything my fault. Not loose and relaxed enough. But on the other side I can not force myselfe to be another person.

I catch myself now more and more to think obout better staying alone. Not sure if I really love her anymore. And can save a lot of money.

Life is too short so move on already. Maybe the next one will be your perfect 10, but more likely she worse for you and cheat and lie, you never know until you take the chance.

Honestly your current lady doesn't sound too bad at all, maybe just the two of you together are not a good match. If you do want to make a go of it with her then try a joint activity like learning English together cuz tbh you are not really in the position to criticise anyone's English based on your writings here.

[simple1]

Quoting the OP. "She studied at university but know nothing. Not even about her home country. Highest mountain, her own religion or history not nessessary to dig very deep"

This used to bother me about my wife until I understood that geography and history are usually subjects in the Thai education system that are largely ignored. However the same can be said of education systems in western government schools, at least in Australia. It's really about lack of curiosity regarding matters that do not relate to day to day life, doesn't only apply to Thais.

My wife is loving, honest, loyal and hardworking, so taking these attributes into account I am happy, If she did not have these qualities, we would not be together. It's rare to find everything you are seeking from one person. In nearly all relationships we have to compromise, it's just to what degree you are willing to do so.

[David48]

My small piece of advice ...

The thing that we accuse the ‘other’ of, is often the very thing that we are most guilty of ourselves.

Marry your best friend and the majority of the relationship issues are resolved.

Also, when you both stand in front of the mirror, do you see two individual people or see a couple?

To those with humour in the veins ... no, I don't mean marrying your dog or your drinking pal from the bar ...

.

[sirchai]

The age gap is big, she is 28, I am 53. In my opinion not really conclusive regarding to my problem.

Maybe not in your opinion. She's just 25 years younger. When you were 28, were you attracted to 53 year old women?

But whatsoever, you're not even married, just walk away, or sell the TV..................

[Gladiator]

I have to confess we are not really married. Stay together now one and a half y. At any time she decided we are married (sami/mia). In public and for her friends we are married. Not for my people of course.

In the beginning it was funny, now I do not care. Only words.

To complete I am not a health freak, drink my beer, like my weekly binge, but fill my day with little things. No TV does not mean no screen. I look my home TV in Ipad. Only to have this clear.

The age gap is big, she is 28, I am 53. In my opinion not really conclusive regarding to my problem.

Yes, I can try to take her how she is. People are different. She is very pretty, slim, hour glass shaping, for me a perfect 9.

Externally I cannot get something better. She give me no reasons to be jealous, she keep our money together.

When I come home from some activities all work in the house is done (my job is outside and garden), soup is simmering etc.

But I can be sure tv is to hear befor I do one step into the house. Drive me crazy. Nothing what she do has any sense. Her English was quite good in the beginning but gets worse due to her negligence and laziness to find the right words and pronounce right. No effords to improve her skills.

I not showed her my irritatation until now. In her eyes she makes nothing wrong and she loves me.

Probably is everything my fault. Not loose and relaxed enough. But on the other side I can not force myselfe to be another person.

I catch myself now more and more to think obout better staying alone. Not sure if I really love her anymore. And can save a lot of money.

Winkinger and and what do you do?

My day -

rise with the sun.

Say my prayers before Bhuddha Phra Pauta Rub

Go into the village see if I can help some of the old folk.

Help wify do the washing and clean house.

feed and walk the mutts

Check internet

maybe go into town to my office... I am an old boy so cannot always do this.

feed fish in the lake.

write.

watercolour

Dream

and you ?????