A Call From The Farm...

[Jai Dee]

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, your country home caretaker."

"Ah, yes, Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"

"That's the one."

"Darn! That's such a pity. I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well ... What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Who gave him meat?"

"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."

"Dead horse? What dead horse, Arnaldo?"

"Remember those purebred horses you had, sir? They died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house. A candle fell over, and the curtain caught on fire."

"WHAT? That's crazy! There's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"

"Your wife's."

"MY WIFE'S?"

"Yes, sir. She showed up one night out of the blue. I thought that she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

(Silence....)

"Arnaldo ... I swear, if you broke that driver, you're fired!"