Did Thai Wife Dating Ruin Thailand?......

[theblether]

I'm 46.

When I was 18 I worked part time in a bar( 1984 ). The owner of the bar ( Scottish ) had a Fipino wife.

I can clearly remember the amount of ridicule poured upon him.

I can remember a guy in my home town starting a Lonely Hearts Club.....and getting national publicity.

Then we saw a surge of Thai Wife adverts.

I'm of the opinion that these adverts ruined the Western public perception of Thailand forever.

What do you think?

.

Edited January 10, 2013 by theblether

[MrRealDeal]

I think the factual reality of Thailand is what either makes or ruins it's reputation , not the introduction of mail order or internet dating that ranges from Russia to the USA

I had personally never seen a Thai dating advertisment proir to coming to Thailand , especially on the internet because advertisments on the internet are pretty much generated by where you go and what you look at so anyone getting Thai dating ads has already expressed some intrest of their own to generate them be it dating , thailand or some relationship with that.

I don't think I have ever seen a non internet advertisment for Thai dating in my entire life in the US , I'm sure they exist in newspapers and what not but I have never seen one.

To say the advertisments made more people aware of Thailand I suppose thats the whole point of advertising so I won't argue that point , but it's not the ads that would ruin the perception it would be the Reality of the Country .......

I know what you mean about the ribbing or ridicule some people rceive for having an Asian bride and the mail order bride attitude , however I don't think that one aspect of a country determines the entire perception ..... at least not to anyone sensible enough to care to listen to , I think it's just a convient excuse for racisists or just general douchebags to use , I don't believe dating by the internet is something people give much more than a passing thought to in todays internet world.

I might agree that their was a time between mail order brides and internet dating when I would have agreed with you. But I think the world has moved beyond that now.

[kurnell]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

[endure]

Depends on what 'Western public perception' you're talking about. Thailand played host to 20 million tourists last year. The vast majority of them came for a holiday, had a good time, went home and recommended the place to their friends. 99.3475% of them didn't take a Thai wife home.

[theblether]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

[theblether]

Depends on what 'Western public perception' you're talking about. Thailand played host to 20 million tourists last year. The vast majority of them came for a holiday, had a good time, went home and recommended the place to their friends. 99.3475% of them didn't take a Thai wife home.

That's the stats...what's the perception?

[kurnell]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

Poms are obsessed with what their mates will think of their Asian wives down the pub. This is never an issue in Australia.

[endure]

Depends on what 'Western public perception' you're talking about. Thailand played host to 20 million tourists last year. The vast majority of them came for a holiday, had a good time, went home and recommended the place to their friends. 99.3475% of them didn't take a Thai wife home.

That's the stats...what's the perception?

Who cares? When I mention that I'm off to Thailand for a holiday the reactions are split between the usual sniggers (which are even more tedious for a gay bloke than they are for straighties) and the 'Oh really I went there last year and had a wonderful time'. The demographics usually break down into those who have been to Thailand and those who haven't.

The preconceptions of those who've never visited a country (any country) are completely irrelevant.

[Spoonman]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

Not many sites at all hit Oz before the internet.

[MrRealDeal]

Evedently Blether cares and so do I ..... it's an interesting enough topic

I think the perceptions of people who have not visited the country are exactly the people he was refering to, or at least would be included in the group, so they are not only relevant but pretty much the subject of the thread.

[Theoutsider]

A lot of Scots where bigots before Thai brides came along, so I don't hold there opinions in high regard anyway.

[BookMan]

An interesting topic. I'm 2 years younger than yourself Blether and I can remember the stigma associated with Filipino and Thai wives when I was young. In Australia, I would say more so Filipino, but both. This is going back a good 20+ years now. Back then, when you saw a male with an asian woman there might have been jokes about how the match happened and was she a 'mail order bride'.

Moving forward to the last ten years, that perception has markedly changed in Australia, especially with the younger generations. There are just so many inter-racial relationships in Australia, it is almost the norm around the inner cities of Melbourne and Sydney to see one. Also plenty of Asian guy/western women ones,

So to answer this Question:

I'm of the opinion that these adverts ruined the Western public perception of Thailand forever

I don't think so at all. Many of the younger generations (under 40s) hardly even give it a thought. Of the scores of people I have met in Australia that have holidayed in Thailand, few, if any have mentioned or alluded to any marriage system over there. If anything I would say there is less a perception of Thailand being a mail order marriage factory than there might have been 20 years back . Whereas twenty years ago when you saw a middle aged guy with an Asian woman (in Australia) assumptions were made it was a mail order marriage: these days it could just as easily be a love match.

[SteeleJoe]

This not just a nitpick (though it is ALSO that) but there's a big difference between 'ruining Thailand' (re the tile of the thread) and ruining the perception people outside of Thailand have of it.

There's some good responses on this thread already and between Endure and MRD's replies lies mine somewhere...

Dating sites haven't ruined Thailand. What goes on here has tainted its reputation (largely among those who've never been). People who have such a narrow view are ignoramuses who are of no concern to me.

I'll add that it's my impression there's a difference between Europe or Australia and the US in regards to this question: though I might be mistaken, I think Europeans and Aussies are a lot more aware of sex tourism or the availability of women as brides in Thailand than Americans are. I haven't lived there for a very long time but it's always been my impression that a lot of Americans knew nothing at all about Thailand and of those who did, it was mostly the exotic beach holiday that they knew about...I'm sure that's changed to some extent (perhaps a lot) but I suspect the awareness of the less than savory aspects is still behind that of Europe or Oz...

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Edited January 11, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[ScotsExpat]

Im only a few years younger than you, blether, but I can relate to what you posted.. Mind you, growing up in Aberdeen and shire, it tended to be the case that the guy was O&G and had moved back to Scotland with his Asian bride, as opposed to the holiday-maker etc..

[SteeleJoe]

Im only a few years younger than you, blether, but I can relate to what you posted.. Mind you, growing up in Aberdeen and shire, it tended to be the case that the guy was O&G and had moved back to Scotland with his Asian bride, as opposed to the holiday-maker etc..

Interesting (to me). 25 years ago an ex-girlfriend of mine wound up moving to Aberdeen with her new husband - who was in Oil and Gas...

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Edited January 11, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[jingjoe8]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

Poms are obsessed with what their mates will think of their Asian wives down the pub. This is never an issue in Australia.

I think it all depends on the couple whether or not punters in the pub will care.

If there is an obvious age gap and/or an obvious gap in physical appearance then i think a lot of guys worry about what others think

[chrisinth]

I think these ads/dating sites have added to public perception but are not neccessarily the cause of the picture that Thailand represents to many first-time visitors or prespective first-time visitors.

Over the years the media, especially the British press, have painted a picture of Thailand being a sex haven (bad news & scandal being good news) and the presence of dating sites will be registered on top of this picture in peoples minds.

Wait until Burma starts off....................

[simple1]

Come again? Have you ever been to Australia? This sounds like a British thing

Really? So Thai Wife type sites never hit Oz prior to the internet?

@MrRealDeal....excellent post.

Poms are obsessed with what their mates will think of their Asian wives down the pub. This is never an issue in Australia.

Maybe not concerned about what their friends think, but actually been approached in Australia, in a bar by a complete stranger, asking how much did you pay for your wife. Fair amount of Asia female stereotyping, racism & bigotry in Australia.

EDIT: It's well know that people advertising on internet dating sites are often involved in scamming. Do not know about other countries, but in Australia a few years back their was a documentary that actually filmed Thai females in internet cafes having multiple internet based "relationships", asking for money etc. The females paid to have responses written in English. This is not unique to Thailand & personally do not believe it has any impact on the reputation of Thailand, other than with extraordinarily naive foreigners.

Edited January 11, 2013 by simple1

[Bluetongue]

Came here from OZ more than 20 years ago and knew absolutely nothing specifically about Thailand. Was amazed by reading the in flight magazine about all these beautiful friendly hostesses everywhere but no idea what it entailed. The only thing in Australia that used to degrade the Asian image was that periodically the trashy media would highlight sex tourism and try to relate it to the mail order bride business particularly in the Phillipines. Also from the Vietnam war on so Vietnam, Bangkok as well, south east Asia in general were known as flesh pots, perhaps less widely even before that. Thinking Jimmy Barnes from Cold Chisel, "gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night long", late 70s?.

The influx of Vietnamese refugees into Australia certainly had more of a noticeable effect as Australia had a much lower population so I think since about then perceptions in Australia have changed. But I can recall old blokes in Australia who just regard any Asian as basically related to the Japanese, I wont go into the names they used to call them, but that generation has basically died out now. But dont remember any Thai wife adverts.

Edited January 11, 2013 by metisdead
: Edited to correct ethnic slur.

[darhut]

Well? How much? Simple1.

Sorry I couldn't help myself.

I have had much the same problem from some young guys in Oz who were just back from a holiday to Phuket. They had the perception that all asians are for sale, I explained to them about the long term rental agreement .

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Edited January 11, 2013 by darhut

[mania]

I am a little older than the OP & remember even when I was young there was Mail Order Brides

But it was not Thai women it was Japanese.

Of course it did not ruin Japan's reputation as a country

in Westerners perception where I was from ( USA )

Although It did carry a bit of a connotation that the men could not get a bride on their own.

Sadly it does seem though that Thai women are often perceive/assumed unfairly as being from

red light backgrounds.

But, IMO it is not the Thai women nor the country that has caused Western perception

to be what it is. It is mainly the sex tourist that came to Thailand & then go home bragging about how

they did this & that for a cheap price.

To that end it is more the low quality of a high percentage of Western tourists telling tales that

has given Thailand its reputation. Yes for sure Thailand has its redlight districts but so does every country.

Except places like Las Vegas has catchy phrases like "What Happens in Vegas Stays In Vegas"

With Thailand it is "What Happens in Thailand Goes On A Blog"

[Roadman]

I think these ads/dating sites have added to public perception but are not neccessarily the cause of the picture that Thailand represents to many first-time visitors or prespective first-time visitors.

Over the years the media, especially the British press, have painted a picture of Thailand being a sex haven (bad news & scandal being good news) and the presence of dating sites will be registered on top of this picture in peoples minds.

Wait until Burma starts off....................

Agree

Over the last 20 years or so as marriages have failed around my family and friends and the ex-husband has headed to Thailand the perception from their ex's (admittedly more in anger with the ex's new found freedom), has not so much been about thai wifes but the sexual availability of all sorts including with minors. The whole thai sex trade is the issue not a thai wife. Here in NZ as in Aussie having an Asian partner is no issue in this modern day as it was 30 - 40 years ago.

You could reverse that same 80's senario put forward to Chinese families resident in Aussie and Kiwiland where the expectation was that marriage was to another Chinesse person even if that person was brought in from mainland China and marriage to one of those Kiwi's or Aussies was heavily frounded upon.

[simple1]

Well? How much? Simple1.

Sorry I couldn't help myself.

I have had much the same problem from some young guys in Oz who were just back from a holiday to Phuket. They had the perception that all asians are for sale, I explained to them about the long term rental agreement .

Sent from my GT-I9100T using Thaivisa Connect App

been married for nearly 18 years & until I retired in Thailand my Thai wife had full time employment for the whole time in Australia. But in response to your post, how many western females would have long term relationships with men less well off than them? I suggest, near to zero

[Tywais]

Seems the current trend is Russian/Ukrainian mail order brides.

[SteeleJoe]

I am a little older than the OP & remember even when I was young there was Mail Order Brides

But it was not Thai women it was Japanese.

Of course it did not ruin Japan's reputation as a country

in Westerners perception where I was from ( USA )

Although It did carry a bit of a connotation that the men could not get a bride on their own.

Sadly it does seem though that Thai women are often perceive/assumed unfairly as being from

red light backgrounds.

But, IMO it is not the Thai women nor the country that has caused Western perception

to be what it is. It is mainly the sex tourist that came to Thailand & then go home bragging about how

they did this & that for a cheap price.

To that end it is more the low quality of a high percentage of Western tourists telling tales that

has given Thailand its reputation. Yes for sure Thailand has its redlight districts but so does every country.

Except places like Las Vegas has catchy phrases like "What Happens in Vegas Stays In Vegas"

With Thailand it is "What Happens in Thailand Goes On A Blog"

As my posting history will conclusively demonstrate (not that I'd expect anyone to be familiar with it), I'm not a basher of Thailand or Thais. It will also show that I am not someone who sees the sex trade in black and white terms or who categorically sees it as shameful or in all cases wrong. But it's absolutely ridiculous to excuse Thais of any role in the infamy the sex trade has earned Thailand.

Sex tourists wouldn't have anything to brag about - and wouldn't have been drawn here in vast numbers - if it weren't for the massive sex industry (which I'm not necessarily an unconditional critic of). You can talk all day about demand but there's a reason why the sex industry is so large here (the sector that does NOT cater to tourists being far, far larger) - not all of it reflecting badly on Thais, in my opinion - and it's not all down to people from abroad. Not even close.

Moreover, it is inaccurate and I think misleading to imply that only "sex tourists" (which I take to mean people who come here exclusively to enjoy commercial sex) are patronizing commercial sex venues (and in some cases making them known to others) -- and even excluidng the many, many tourists who come here for other reasons but partake in some aspect of the commercial sex available, many, many other tourists are daily confronted with it and no doubt speak of it on their return home.

Have I wound up defending sex tourists?! <deleted>?

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[tuky]

Growing up my perception of Asian Wives was mostly based on what I saw in the news of Rose Hancock (google).

When I was 16 an Asian girl and I spent the night together, I ran off in the morning because I was worried what my mates would think.

Then at 21 I got a job in Singapore and have never looked back. Funny how life works out.

To be honest, and I know it is wrong but Rose Hancock has tainted all Phillipino woman for me. When I see a Phillipino I see Rose. So I can understand most peoples bigotry as even I who has spent 16 years in Asia still hold a little in my heart.

I think these perceptions are what we learn as we grow up and are very hard to shake.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2008/10/13/va1237335376644/Rose-Porteous-6298186.jpg

[thaimate]

I dont know if it did what the op said ,but it made me a lot of money and made a lot of guys happy ,so it couldnt be all bad.

[chiangmaikelly]

I am also a little older than the OP when I was young it was war brides. The fact that they spoke English or German may have had something to do with it but I don't remember any problems nor anyone heaping ridicule on them.

Movies like Suzy Wong and braggarts in bars after vacations may have had more to do with reputations than married women.

British writers may have had something to do with like Rudyard Kipling (born 1865), "

Law! wot do they understand?

I've a neater, sweeter maiden in a cleaner, greener land!

On the road to Mandalay...

Edited January 11, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[muythai2013]

certain peoples behavior, thai girls and western men are the blame for these perceptions.

There are many people in relationships for the wrong reasons and this does not help the reputations of the decent girls who are well meaning.

its not the fault of the sites.

[jambco984]

Top of my email spam box just arrived now.

Subject : New Year, New Thai GF.

To me it is all spam but yes I think it has tainted the image

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Edited January 11, 2013 by jambco984