Thai Always 'pretending' They Know..

[loong]

"Who used my expensive electric (insert tool) and left it out in the rain?"

"I don't know"

"Who broke my (insert item)?"

"I don't know"

"Where is my (insert item) that has been moved from where I keep it?"

"I don't know"

Sometimes you do hear "I don't know"

[Bluetongue]

"Who used my expensive electric (insert tool) and left it out in the rain?"

"I don't know"

"Who broke my (insert item)?"

"I don't know"

"Where is my (insert item) that has been moved from where I keep it?"

"I don't know"

Sometimes you do hear "I don't know"

Sometimes I pretend that Mai Lou is a person, she is responsible for anything that no-one wants to admit knowing anything about. Fear of anger or a followup question I think is behind her getting the blame. Whereas I'm way past the pointless anger stage, I just want to know where the thing is. If I do add the f word though they are now trained to know this is more imperative. As far as the directions go if we're out somewhere outside our usual environs and are looking for a town, mooban etc I make sure I take notice of everything and make all the turns required to the best of my knowledge, if these subsequently turn out to be wrong, I dont care I take the blame, it is far better than sitting by the side of the road trying to cajole someone in the car to ask for directions. I have noticed they will ask for directions if its a temple thing.

[Payboy]

^^^dont forget her sister Mai Mee, she's saved many a long walk to the storeroom.

[Mosha]

^^^dont forget her sister Mai Mee, she's saved many a long walk to the storeroom.

There is a 3rd one Lerm, I meet her after being sent to buy pork and the shop's closed cos it's a Buddha day.

[IMA_FARANG]

Yes that's true ... but you also must understand that "losing Face" also for many Asians (including Thais) also not only applies to themselves but also to being the bearer of bad news for others, They don't like to disagree with another person even when they know that other person is wromg.

Example from what I personally saw.

A good Thai friend of mine was asked a question by a tourist about taking an early morning bus from Bangkok to a another town.

According to the bus schedule he said he should be able to take that early motning bus to where he wanted to go, get his business down in that town, and then catch an afternoon bus back to Bangkok.

Both myself and my Thai friend knew that wouldn't be possible ... what he planned to do would take to long and he wouldn't have time to catch that aftrnoon bus back to Bangkok.

But the tourist was insistant that he could get everything done in one day according to the bus schedule.

My Thai friend simply agreed that according to the schedule it "might be possible" even though we both knew the tourist wouldn't be able to do what he wanted to do in the time he had allowed.

We both knew the tourist was going to have to stay overnight and catch thr nrxt day's early bus back to Bangkok.

But, you see, to tell the tourist that news would have given him bad news ... sonething he didn't want to hear, and that would have been "unpleasent" for him.

Sp my Thai friend simply agreed with the tourist that "according to the schedule" it might be possible to get everything done in one day.

That solved the problem of having to give "unpleasent" news to someone else .... and therefore no one had to "lose face" by giving that unwanted news to another person.

Bottom line .... if you're asking questions like that to an Asian .... (again Thais included) .... be aware about what that hesitant agreement with what you obvioudly WANT to be true really means.

They may simply be avoiding having to tell you something they know you don't want to hear ... so YOU don't "lose face" by them pointing out why you are mistaken in your assunptions.

It's a common Asian thing .... don't disagree with others and cause them distress.... it's taught in their cultures in Asia.

They don't like to be a situation where they have to contradict simeone else .... even when they know that other person is wrong.

[Radar501]

Thai women not being able to read maps, or knowing their left from their right?

Hardly just a Thai problem chaps.

[Scully]

Have you ever asked a Thai person on the street for directions?

Asked one bloke told me one way 20 km away, obviously the wrong way so asked a second lady and we ended up where we started, asked a third person so we gave up. Trip to 7-11 bought a map and it was 2km away.

[phuturatica]

I'm chuckling at some of these stories.

I do hear "I don't know" quite a lot. Recently I discovered that colleague who have been working in the establishment over 5+ years don't know the address of the place and no one knows when our holiday starts!

[Lancelot]

When it comes to directions- I use the "polling " method.

I ask at least three differnt people.

If all three give me the same directiosn, thats the way I go. Two out of three and I might chance it; three different answers and its back to more polling

[kevvy]

It's true, especially with my wife and we have been married 15 years. I think that it's all about losing face. We were going to her uncle's house about 100 kilometers from home, I was driving, my wife and her sister were in the truck. We came to an intersection and I asked "which way". My wife says left, her sister says right. I go straight and pull into a service station. I told her to go ask directions to the small town and she wouldn't. Why I asked? She said that if the attendant didn't know he would tell her the wrong way and she didn't want to ask because he would think that she was stupid since she didn't know how to get to her own uncle's house. I asked and got perfect duirections to the village which was only 12 kilometers away. It's pretty much how things go on a daily basis. My wife will always give me an answer even if she knows that I know what she is telling me is total BS.

i must be married to your wife's family too as my wife she is the same

[whybother]

I get "don't know" a lot. Sometimes they feel safer with a "don't know" than the possibility of an answer being incorrect.

[scotto]

Ah yes the three sisters do not forget the brother he is always in there as well.

1:Mai loo

2:Mai mee

3:mai lerm

And the brother

4: Mai ben lai

[Fookhaht]

It's about face. You won't find many Asian cultures where you hear a phrase equal to "I don't know" being used a lot.

Don't they lose MORE face when you come back telling them that their directions were idiotic? I've walked off, nilly-will trying to find a restroom at the direction of a store clerk. I understood the directions clearly--I speak Thai and understand directions. When I walked back by their counter in just a couple minutes (obviously having not found a restroom at the end of their wild-goose-chase), they are careful to avoid eye contact. Which is the worse loss of face??

[watcharacters]

As cdnvic notes, it's not just Thailand. Most Asian cultures are the same to a greater or lesser degree, try asking for directions in Korea.

It's the same in business, always ask questions in a way where the respondent can answer in a positive manner even if the answer is in the negative.

GPS only for me.

[overherebc]

I'm chuckling at some of these stories.

I do hear "I don't know" quite a lot. Recently I discovered that colleague who have been working in the establishment over 5+ years don't know the address of the place and no one knows when our holiday starts!

Ever noticed that many will tell you straight away the name of the Soi they live in but can't tell you the number (even in Thai) and you know they have lived there for years.

[HeijoshinCool]

Thai women not being able to read maps, or knowing their left from their right?

Hardly just a Thai problem chaps.

Yep.

Why does it take 10 million sperm starting out to find the egg?

Because none will stop and ask directions.

[maturebrit]

Another thing, broadly connected with the topic, is the interruption from others. Perhaps it's because I'm speaking English but, when I'm talking with my wife, any local present will feel free to talk to her as if I wasn't there. On the other hand, perhaps they interrupt each other too.

yes that infuriates me.....the ignorance level when interruptions like that happen makes my blood boil

[cooked]

Another thing, broadly connected with the topic, is the interruption from others. Perhaps it's because I'm speaking English but, when I'm talking with my wife, any local present will feel free to talk to her as if I wasn't there. On the other hand, perhaps they interrupt each other too.

yes that infuriates me.....the ignorance level when interruptions like that happen makes my blood boil

My ex-wife had three sisters and to be sure things aren't better in Europe. They were used to shouting loudly when they had something to say and not listening or waiting until you were finished.

[overherebc]

Another thing, broadly connected with the topic, is the interruption from others. Perhaps it's because I'm speaking English but, when I'm talking with my wife, any local present will feel free to talk to her as if I wasn't there. On the other hand, perhaps they interrupt each other too.

yes that infuriates me.....the ignorance level when interruptions like that happen makes my blood boil

I just raise my voice above theirs. You don't have to do it very often and they soon get the message, or I will say , excuse me , my wife and I are having a conversation about something private could you leave until we are finished.

PS. Not many of them like me but I really don't care.

[cooked]

Thai women not being able to read maps, or knowing their left from their right?

Hardly just a Thai problem chaps.

My wife, formerly a classical dancer, sort of airily waves in a way that makes it difficult to know which direction I am supposed to be going when she doesn't feel like speaking as it is so obvious. Same when I am relying on her to get me into a parking space, nowadays this involves me driving backwards a bit, jumping out to look, driving back a bit..... mind you, policemen aren't much better.

[Mosha]

When it comes to directions- I use the "polling " method.

I ask at least three differnt people.

If all three give me the same directiosn, thats the way I go. Two out of three and I might chance it; three different answers and its back to more polling

The Thais do this when asked for directions. They look around for someone else to ask, perhaps it's to share the blame. 555

[wayned]

"ARRIVING" if you're married to a Thai don't ever think that you are going to "LEAVE" when you thought that you were going to!

If the wife and i are going somewhere important, i tell her an earlier time. Usually 30 minutes is plenty and we leave at the time i want to. Being military, timings are drilled into you. Military time is getting there 5 minutes before. So as you can imagine, i get angry when we are late or don't leave on time. The above rule has helped get rid of that anger.

When you do actually get there on time, nobody else is there!

[maturebrit]

"ARRIVING" if you're married to a Thai don't ever think that you are going to "LEAVE" when you thought that you were going to!

If the wife and i are going somewhere important, i tell her an earlier time. Usually 30 minutes is plenty and we leave at the time i want to. Being military, timings are drilled into you. Military time is getting there 5 minutes before. So as you can imagine, i get angry when we are late or don't leave on time. The above rule has helped get rid of that anger.

When you do actually get there on time, nobody else is there!

hahaha face it a wrist watch is an accessory not a time piece.... batt ran out on wifes watch two months back.....she didnt notice

[Mosha]

"ARRIVING" if you're married to a Thai don't ever think that you are going to "LEAVE" when you thought that you were going to!

If the wife and i are going somewhere important, i tell her an earlier time. Usually 30 minutes is plenty and we leave at the time i want to. Being military, timings are drilled into you. Military time is getting there 5 minutes before. So as you can imagine, i get angry when we are late or don't leave on time. The above rule has helped get rid of that anger.

When you do actually get there on time, nobody else is there!

This right up there with rushing to pick a friend of the wife up. You get there and they are sat outside their house. They they go in the house to get a quick shower and put on their chosen attire for the day. This really makes me fume. Who is doing who a favour?

[maturebrit]

"ARRIVING" if you're married to a Thai don't ever think that you are going to "LEAVE" when you thought that you were going to!

If the wife and i are going somewhere important, i tell her an earlier time. Usually 30 minutes is plenty and we leave at the time i want to. Being military, timings are drilled into you. Military time is getting there 5 minutes before. So as you can imagine, i get angry when we are late or don't leave on time. The above rule has helped get rid of that anger.

When you do actually get there on time, nobody else is there!

This right up there with rushing to pick a friend of the wife up. You get there and they are sat outside their house. They they go in the house to get a quick shower and put on their chosen attire for the day. This really makes me fume. Who is doing who a favour?

yup.... they get really pissed off when Im gone when they come out........som nom na.... time and me wait for nobody....now that irks them somewhat

[HeavyDrinker]

Some threads on this forum just make me chuckle and this is one of them!!

Keep it up....

For the record, my wife is never wrong, she only forgets the right answer....

[Morden]

We went to a friend's house this morning ti see a puppy with the idea of giving it a new home.

We arrived at the agreed time to be told tat the puppy wasn't there, Family had, after having a good nosh in the owner's absence taken it away fort he night.

'Don't worry they come now'. This message was repeated every fifteen minutes with an extra messsge at 11.00am ti say thet they had just woken up. Bullshit! They were too lazy to consider us and get off their <deleted>.

Eventually, we left saying that we would see the puppy at our home once we had dealt with a few errands on the way home. all ended well. What hacked me off was the oh so common statement , 'They come now'. It's never true. I g=hear ot so often, You're expected to sit around all day until they decide to turn up. It's bad manners in a country that claims to be polite.

[MegaRanter]

My partner worked in the revenue dept on soi aree for over ten years, We have have been living in Nigeria (abuja) for close to 15 months, She cant drive, she cant take a taxi on her own, because she does nt know what area she has lived for over a year is called.

She knows my office is behind AP plaza, at least, she can always head in that direction.

[Paangjang]

Another thing, broadly connected with the topic, is the interruption from others. Perhaps it's because I'm speaking English but, when I'm talking with my wife, any local present will feel free to talk to her as if I wasn't there. On the other hand, perhaps they interrupt each other too.

Totally agree with this one. Why do they always interupt when im talking in English to my girlfriend? They never do it when the conversation is in Thai. Imagine this happening in a business meeting, they'd be asked to leave the room.

[Morden]

Another thing, broadly connected with the topic, is the interruption from others. Perhaps it's because I'm speaking English but, when I'm talking with my wife, any local present will feel free to talk to her as if I wasn't there. On the other hand, perhaps they interrupt each other too.

Totally agree with this one. Why do they always interupt when im talking in English to my girlfriend? They never do it when the conversation is in Thai. Imagine this happening in a business meeting, they'd be asked to leave the room.

The other manifestation of this is interruptions while you are being served in a shop. I will be trying to keep up with the conversation my wife is having with the assistant and almost always someone leans past us and starts talking. I dexcuse myself and indicate that the person should wait behind us. Although I speak in English (must learn to deal with this in Thai), my gesticulations are understood and the person waits her turn. Always a woman, by the way.