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Posted

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

My best advice, move on, you are being taken for a ride.

She wanted me to pay up front for the land

Whereabouts is this land she wants you to buy, just about every Thai has access to land or free land, so why does she need to buy land.

IF she is a bank employee she can get a cheapo rate to buy the land.

Why should you part with anything?

renting is out of the question.

Says who?

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more

'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to

have her own house

Utter crap, more like, face rearing its ugly head again.

She earns good money but spends it all

Define "good money" and why does she spend it all?

after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

Sorry to be so blunt, but you dont know shit, you have visited here 5 times, try living here for at least 2 years then re consider marriage.

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Posted

^^^^^, as i said before sorry for being blunt.

Where I live in Bkk, there are at least 3 women in similair circumstances.

1. Thai woman about 40, husband French dead, this woman has assets of at least 20 million baht, the 3 houses she lets out and the one she lives in, the only Thai men interested in her are low class gold diggers.

2. Thai woman, Japanese husband now dead, a very generous pension coming in each month, plus house car etc paid for, all she wants is security, not financial, she doesnt want to live alone.

3. Thai woman, 40's, house worth at least 10 million, car etc, all paid for, has pension of 30,000 per month, not interested in taking up with lo class Thai, Thais in her peer group not interested.

All 3 women would suit you, if however you are a chang drinking reprobate dont bother applying, these women would all rather live on their own than lose face.

These women dont need your money, all they want is someone to live with, friendship and company, they want someone who will treat them with respect, not be seen as the village drunkard.

Posted (edited)

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

OK so she wants you as you have money and she has none and it would appear better within her social set, i get that.

You will pay off her house over the next 6-7 years, if you have the financial ability suggest you will pay it in full now and insist on it being in your name, this may give you an indication of their intent if it is met with dispute, to put a house that you have fully paid for would not cause her family to lose face either before she tells you this.

If she is killed her parents will allow you to stay in a house that you have fully financed or give you half of the sale value, you will know the true sale value how?

She classes herself as middle class on what grounds? As far as i am aware Thai's allow class based on assets and cash worth, and as your fiance has niether would be no doubt classed by others within the category she so obviously despises.

My opinion for what it's worth you marrying a gold digging self appointed middle class virgin is an insult to you on many grounds.....

Edited by Keith67
Posted

My best advice.

As a bank employee she can get a very low interest home loan, her age (40) entitles her to spread the repayments over 25 years.

Be very wary of the land purchase/home build game, many opportunities for everyone to cheat an unwary foreigner.

If she is the only one supporting her parents, insist they make her their sole heir or sign the house over to her right now in return for her continued support.

Nobody has to tell the other siblings what they have done.

Do not be pressed in to living somewhere unsuitable for your personal needs.

Unless you already speak very good Thai already, living a long distance from fellow English speakers can be a very lonely existence.

SinSot

The deposit for the house should be plenty.

If it were a new 2M bht house, I would consider 200k (with a 90% home loan) to be plenty (if not excessive).

Get all receipts for any home purchase payments in your name, photocopy any bank deposit slips for money you put into her bank account.

Easy to prove you are the one paying for the house, with a little forethought.

Even if you speak quite good thai the % is not high you will find interesting, stimulating conversation. Furthermore thai people capable of that more often then none have decent english skills Thai language helps for basic day to day function, shopping, sorting out the mobile service, etc etc.

Posted (edited)

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

OK so she wants you as you have money and she has none and it would appear better within her social set, i get that.

You will pay off her house over the next 6-7 years, if you have the financial ability suggest you will pay it in full now and insist on it being in your name, this may give you an indication of their intent if it is met with dispute, to put a house that you have fully paid for would not cause her family to lose face either before she tells you this.

If she is killed her parents will allow you to stay in a house that you have fully financed or give you half of the sale value, you will know the true sale value how?

She classes herself as middle class on what grounds? As far as i am aware Thai's allow class based on assets and cash worth, and as your fiance has niether would be no doubt classed by others within the category she so obviously despises.

My opinion for what it's worth you marrying a gold digging self appointed middle class virgin is an insult to you on many grounds.....

There may a nanogram or 2 of resentment in this advice but albeit harsh, basically it is very solid advice. Actually there are ways for you to own the house in your company name in case anyone tells you to the contrary.

Though some on these forums may have had bad experiences and be bitter or harsh, the advice/ideas/thoughts they offer are given with the best intentions and without standing to gain one penny.

A bank manager has some level of respect as she has graduated university or even gone higher. The public perception of her is likely middle class but in thailand many an educated worker earns a low salary.

Here's one example that is shocking. A friend of mine was paid 2,000 baht/month salary as a resident training in neurosurgery. He had to sign a promissory agreement with a private clinic to work for them when finished (4-5 years for an income supplemt that wasn't very much either) and 1 year fellowship in germany. Looking at a base salary of 2k baht he'd be seen as earning less than a tuk tuk driver.

Edited by atyclb
  • Like 1
Posted

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

OK so she wants you as you have money and she has none and it would appear better within her social set, i get that.

You will pay off her house over the next 6-7 years, if you have the financial ability suggest you will pay it in full now and insist on it being in your name, this may give you an indication of their intent if it is met with dispute, to put a house that you have fully paid for would not cause her family to lose face either before she tells you this.

If she is killed her parents will allow you to stay in a house that you have fully financed or give you half of the sale value, you will know the true sale value how?

She classes herself as middle class on what grounds? As far as i am aware Thai's allow class based on assets and cash worth, and as your fiance has niether would be no doubt classed by others within the category she so obviously despises.

My opinion for what it's worth you marrying a gold digging self appointed middle class virgin is an insult to you on many grounds.....

There may a nanogram or 2 of resentment in this advice but albeit harsh, basically it is very solid advice. Actually there are ways for you to own the house in your company name in case anyone tells you to the contrary.

Though some on these forums may have had bad experiences and be bitter or harsh, the advice/ideas/thoughts they offer are given with the best intentions and without standing to gain one penny.

A bank manager has some level of respect as she has graduated university or even gone higher. The public perception of her is likely middle class but in thailand many an educated worker earns a low salary.

Here's one example that is shocking. A friend of mine was paid 2,000 baht/month salary as a resident training in neurosurgery. He had to sign a promissory agreement with a private clinic to work for them when finished (4-5 years for an income supplemt that wasn't very much either) and 1 year fellowship in germany. Looking at a base salary of 2k baht he'd be seen as earning less than a tuk tuk driver.

I admit it is very harsh indeed, but when a 60yr old gent asks information with regards to his 40yr old virgin fiance and clearly states albeit in not so many words, she will marry him for money and status purposes, i feel it is the only way to reply.

  • Like 1
Posted

If there is one thing to be learned from this thread, it's that it takes all sorts!

Personally I wouldn't even consider buying someone from their family, but nothing wrong with supporting the family over time.

If they are adamant over a big pay day, and obsessed with showing off, forget it, even if they offer to return it.

The love of money is the root of all evil, etc.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

Sinsod is an individual matter. As stated above it is important to keep in mind that the wives parents most often pay for the wedding party (food, drink, etc.). It is my opinion that if you make a poor family foot the bill for the wedding you are a heartless ba$tard that is not getting off on the right foot. That being said, sinsod should probably decrease (not increase) with each successive marriage, child, etc... 800,000 baht increasing to 1,000,000 baht was not a promising sign. You likely made the right choice, move on, you are likely better off that this did not work out.

  • Like 2
Posted

As the law in Thailand allows a person to own a house on another's land, that is the obvious way to go. The land can be in her name but you tie it up with a mortgage (if she can't afford to pay for it).

Put a removable Thai timber house on it. They can be quite stylish................http://www.thailannahome.com/ but there are other companies supplying the same ting, and I'm told that Thai Lanna are at the top end price wise.

If she's not agreeable to that arrangement, you are about to be taken to the proverbial cleaners, and it's time to move on. Alternatively you could rent, forever.

I don't understand why a guy in your circumstances would want to marry anyway?? I'm in a similar situation, moving to either Philippines or Thailand later this year, and even at or ages, it's a smorgasbord. I don't want a 20 yo girl, although plenty are available, but I certainly won't be committing to any long term relationship, and NEVER buying a house in an other's name.

Your call, of course.

Posted

#atyclb

If it important to you even if she got a doctor to verify it in thailand as many know, for a small fee the doctor? can confirm whatever. Also being a virgin at 40 may also be a sign of social dysfunction, even rich little girls with fancy educations almost would never be virgins by age 30 or well before that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sure, anyone sure they want a virgin of 40yrs? and that, after coming to LOS for 5 yrs.w00t.gif Who are you kidding? Something is wrong here !

I did not say I wanted to marry a virgin or care if she is one or not. It was she who said she is a virgin.

I inferred between the lines that i doubt her word because I have met other Thai women. Virgin and non-virgin. I do not need a doctor's certificate to know if the hymen has been broken. But she can still be 'virgin' in that she has not been 'entered' by a p******

Does this satisfy your want of the 'wrong' or am I still kidding everyone. :-)

We are getting off the subject of sin sod, into a world of sin ...

Posted

a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

You have got to be kidding right ? 40 yr virgin but her parents are ok w you sleeping together as "your enguaged"

I spot a big fib

Posted

If there is one thing to be learned from this thread, it's that it takes all sorts! Personally I wouldn't even consider buying someone from their family, but nothing wrong with supporting the family over time. If they are adamant over a big pay day, and obsessed with showing off, forget it, even if they offer to return it. The love of money is the root of all evil, etc. Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I do not want sin sod and judging from your photo I will call you either handsum man or marginal woman every day, up to you. Now, can you support my family please?

Posted (edited)

a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

You have got to be kidding right ? 40 yr virgin but her parents are ok w you sleeping together as "your enguaged"

I spot a big fib

It may actually be true, some women are raised very conservatively and continue to live with parents as if they never exited childhood into adulthood. Its not abnormal in Thai society to have a BF, date, even break up and find new BF or date, or lover.

All the stuff you see on these forums makes one wonder about those japan love dolls. many of them are very lifelike and quite good looking, pay for themselves, and they will never scam you.

Edited by atyclb
Posted

a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

You have got to be kidding right ? 40 yr virgin but her parents are ok w you sleeping together as "your enguaged"

I spot a big fib

It may actually be true, some women are raised very conservatively and continue to live with parents as if they never exited childhood into adulthood. Its not abnormal in Thai society to have a BF, date, even break up and find new BF or date, or lover.

All the stuff you see on these forums makes one wonder about those japan love dolls. many of them are very lifelike and quite good looking, pay for themselves, and they will never scam you.

Well, yes, a lot like to lay that claim, and tell their parents " going on week end outing with my girl friends to Hua Hin". That's what my old GF did w her parents.

  • Like 1
Posted

Well... I'm not so long in Thailand but 1 year and 1/2 year before.

When I came to this country I was thinking to get married with my GF (43 years old with 2 adult daughters, own condo, car, business etc - living in BKK).

Her father want 300.000 THB Sin Sod but I disagree and didn't pay even penny.

We are still together but not married... Personally I'm curious how long will take for her family and her to understand that I'm not going to pay any Sin Sod no mater what...

And I've made everything clear - i'M not investing any money into "family" or house or business as long as we are not married tongue.png

Well... we will so what comes with future wink.png

Bro, good for you. Stay together if happy - otherwise flee. Why ever get married? And why ever PAY for the "privilege" of supporting someone else? And furthermore, why would anyone PREFER the "untouched?" A virgin has no sexual experience, no experience in how to please a man. The only thing she knows is how to say NO. Geez....

Why ever get married ? Hmmm... maybe to make real family, feel more stabilization or sort out visa problem... now I'm on student visa but this gonna finish in 6 months or so and I really don't like those trips to Lao or Cambodia...

  • Like 1
Posted

Out of the hundreds of dumb ass farangs that have responded to this issue, all I can say is that you need to see a head doctor. The attitude is that we have to screw you out of everything we can today because there is no tomorrow and second chance. You fools swap a lot of money for getting to heaven for a few seconds. Did it ever occur to you that it is better to rent than pretend that you have bought. CRAZY!

Posted

Out of the hundreds of dumb ass farangs that have responded to this issue, all I can say is that you need to see a head doctor. The attitude is that we have to screw you out of everything we can today because there is no tomorrow and second chance. You fools swap a lot of money for getting to heaven for a few seconds. Did it ever occur to you that it is better to rent than pretend that you have bought. CRAZY!

Nice to get input from the sole non dumb ass fool farang. Anyway I cannt disagree with your feelings about the MO.

Posted

a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

You have got to be kidding right ? 40 yr virgin but her parents are ok w you sleeping together as "your enguaged"

I spot a big fib

It may actually be true, some women are raised very conservatively and continue to live with parents as if they never exited childhood into adulthood. Its not abnormal in Thai society to have a BF, date, even break up and find new BF or date, or lover.

All the stuff you see on these forums makes one wonder about those japan love dolls. many of them are very lifelike and quite good looking, pay for themselves, and they will never scam you.

Well, yes, a lot like to lay that claim, and tell their parents " going on week end outing with my girl friends to Hua Hin". That's what my old GF did w her parents.

Hmmm, thats what a divorced nurse I know used to tell her family.

Posted

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

At least if you buy her a house you might have something to get back when divorced. Oh I forgot in Thailand the house will be in her name too so you will lose that and the ridiculous Sinsod you paid for.

Posted

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

At least if you buy her a house you might have something to get back when divorced. Oh I forgot in Thailand the house will be in her name too so you will lose that and the ridiculous Sinsod you paid for.

The wise ones get a pre nuptial, then you will get half back.

Posted

....... been offered recently 800,000 Baht but we don't want to sell as we feel our baby boy one day might need it to pay for the education.

Should get him past primary school in this day an age :)

Posted

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

At least if you buy her a house you might have something to get back when divorced. Oh I forgot in Thailand the house will be in her name too so you will lose that and the ridiculous Sinsod you paid for.

The wise ones get a pre nuptial, then you will get half back.

Would you care to put some money on that?

Posted

Become friends with mother and you gain much greater control of everything. I have found this very useful in solving arguments...

haaaa...hahahah !

oh yeah... this does work like a charm !

Posted

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

At least if you buy her a house you might have something to get back when divorced. Oh I forgot in Thailand the house will be in her name too so you will lose that and the ridiculous Sinsod you paid for.

The wise ones get a pre nuptial, then you will get half back.

Solicitors will not do pre-nups now as too afraid of being sued. (I just asked a Melbourne Australia solicitor about one, he said "no-way")

Posted

Wow. What an incredible amount of bitterness and hostility in this thread. Maybe LOS was not the best choice for some posters here. Takes all kind I guess.

Sent from my PC36100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted (edited)

Sinsod, biggest joke and ripoff in Thailand, LOS (Land of Scams). Sinsod may have been the norm in ancient but we all know that if she truly loves you it would not be about the money. I was too a victim of the SS (Sinsod Scam) but have survived and moved on thanks to a divorce. Drop her like it's hot and run like hell is the best advice I can give you.

Or in the immortal words of comedian Jim Davidson:

"I'm not going to get married again - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and buy her a house"

At least if you buy her a house you might have something to get back when divorced. Oh I forgot in Thailand the house will be in her name too so you will lose that and the ridiculous Sinsod you paid for.

The wise ones get a pre nuptial, then you will get half back.

Would you care to put some money on that?

Why?

My buddy just got half of the sale of his house and 20 rai of land all because he had a pre nuptial.

Edited by Johnniey

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