Could you have settled in Thailand without the help from a woman?

[stickylies]

additional: i've said this before, it's not a popular opinion, but will say it again. many males (often from the generation OVER 50) tend to be incapable taking care of themselves. they need a woman (mum-complex) to wash their clothes, cook them a meal and listen to their stories/complaints/wisdom. majority of males i have met in thailand are not emancipated at all and therefore they are perfectly compatible with this "taking-care-reflex" most basic thai (both male and female) have to offer. do not be offended by this statement. i'm not saying these people are losers. in fact, they fit in perfectly here. my neighbours for example don't understand that I don't have thai wife (to clean my clothes and dishes and etc etc) since I can "afford" it.

[phuket laddie]

I was recently thinking about this too.

I can't actually think of one situation where having a local girl acting as an intermediary for a foreigner is actually useful to the foreigner.

First, it stops you thinking for yourself and learning the language.

Second, they are always seeking personal gain from you (commission for them on everything at the very least, large ticket items put in their name at worst).

Third, all other Thais will assume the girl is/was a sex worker of some kind, so you will be socially disadvantaged (true or not doesn't matter).

Fourth, you are insulated from most of the reality of Thailand, so you are living a complete fantasy life.

Fifth, they will be a drag on your finances, the children that aren't yours are needy, the family hand is always stretched out.

Sixth, they are serving their own best interests, never yours.

Better for a foreigner to deal with things on their own and stand on their own two feet IMHO.

(When was your last holiday in the west where you had everything done for you be a local girl that left school at age 13?)

[jinners]

could have done it on my own, did my Thai GF make it easier? 100%

[JLCrab]

Well you could have combined 4 of these current Forum topics with this one:

How could anyone move to Thailand without talking sense to a helpful Thai woman and without having their drain clogged or missing any parcels shipped from the UK?

Edited July 26, 2013 by JLCrab

[TheSpade]

Yes I could have. I've been all over the world and had no issue anywhere.

I did have a little bit of help from a thai female friend looking at apartments but it wasn't necessary. She offered and there was no reason not to take her up on the offer. I had already sourced the apartments and just sent her the list, she simply worked out where they were and we went looking at them.

Ended up staying in the same place I was already at (they have nightly rates as well as long term contracts) so not needed.

She wasn't looking for a commission I can assure you of that. Some people really have a fuc_ked up view of the women in this country...perhaps stop hanging out with prostitutes and the dregs of society?

Aside from that help I haven't had any more and I'm settled and fine. Don't need a women to look after me I'm quite capable of doing everything that needs done.

First, it stops you thinking for yourself and learning the language.
Second, they are always seeking personal gain from you (commission for them on everything at the very least, large ticket items put in their name at worst).
Third, all other Thais will assume the girl is/was a sex worker of some kind, so you will be socially disadvantaged (true or not doesn't matter).
Fourth, you are insulated from most of the reality of Thailand, so you are living a complete fantasy life.
Fifth, they will be a drag on your finances, the children that aren't yours are needy, the family hand is always stretched out.
Sixth, they are serving their own best interests, never yours.

LOL you need to stop talking nonsense.

Commission and high ticket items...right then!

Always looking for a handout..OK sure! No Thai person I've known has ever asked me for money.

Edited July 26, 2013 by TheSpade

[geriatrickid]

Ok, I get it now. This woman thing. She serves as a personal secretary, fixer, attendant.

We have staff for that. My "boy" can carry heavier objects than the "girl". (I've started referring to some of the staff now as "boy". I really should stop, I suppose, but I find it amusing. I wanted to have the staff call me Bwana, but I was told by HR, that this was not appropriate. Spoilsport.) Yes, these girls can be handy. I envy the Chinese and Japanese approach where the staff are in uniform. I wouldn't go as extreme as the North Koreans and make them play the accordion.

Behind every successful man is a pushy woman (or maybe I should include man as well in recognition of the gay marriage trends, but I digress). Behind every successful woman, is a supportive man. Ok, so what's new? Seriously, hasn't this been the way it has been since the dawn of time?

[EBlair48]

Having a partner who translates, shops, provides meals, cleans and arranges the household and sees to laundry is a huge advantage.

Wish I had one.

[rayongchelsea]

There is another thread going on " where do you want to die ?"

As most guys seem to need a lady to settle here I presume the decision of where, how and when will be left to her..

[benalibina]

Well you could have combined 4 of these current Forum topics with this one:

How could anyone move to Thailand without talking sense to a helpful Thai woman and without having their drain clogged or missing any parcels shipped from the UK?

If he has that cleared he will be able to check what fridge he needs to buy !

[cornishcarlos]

I haven't read all the posts, too many for me..

To settle is one thing, to integrate fully is another. I don't believe anyone, even those that claim to be fluent in Thai, can ever fully integrate without the help of a local, even then it depends on the reception from the people you are trying to integrate with. There are just too many 'thainess' nuances that you will never pick up on unless you are Thai or have them pointed out to you.

So those that have settled on their own, have in my opinion done a great job and should be fully respected because there are plenty more that haven't a clue. However, those that have fully integrated into the Thai way of life are few and far between.

I'm hovering between 'haven't got a clue' and 'settled'... Trying to move up a level but never expect to be integrated and to be honest, not really that bothered.

[kikoman]

I lived in Thailand 3 years, in Pattaya and Satahip before I met my wife, after we met she introduced me to her Thai Village and was very helpful in helping me integrate into the village life, after 8 years in the village she still is extremely helpful and marrying her was the best decisions i ever made.

No, I learn to be in Thailand on my own, the first 3 years I was here would have been a lot easier, If I met her then.

Cheers:

[elektrified]

How many in the West would marry a girl who dropped out of school at 13? Why would anyone do

that here?

I can never understand that one either. A close friend married a girl from Isaan who has a 5th grade education. For years he would rely on her for almost everything, including answering his business phone because after 15 years here, he only knew about 5 words in Thai. He couldn't understand why customers never called back. More than 20 years later, still married but he no longer lives here.

[thatswhatuthought]

Yes it's very possible to settle over here without assistance from a Thai woman or partner. In many cases it can be easier with one and in many cases it can be harder with one. If you chose to pick a bar girl, most of the the time it's harder. If you chose to pick an independent woman with a job sometimes it might be easier and sometimes harder. In the end it all boils down to the woman that is helping you. Woman all over the world are the same. Some want/expect material things or money for their services. Others are sincere women that just want a decent man to spend time with or live their life with. One poster said he "couldn't think of one situation where having a local girl acting as an intermediary for a foreigner is actually useful to the foreigner " i can think of many myself but maybe I got lucky. The one that helped me taught me how to get the cheapest prices, travel in the cheapest ways, how and where to get the best deals, what and where to avoid, how commissions worked here, how to speak thai, lao and cambodian. etc. etc etc. Many won't provide that and many people don't like what she has done for me because that has lost them a potential mark and possibly many more potential marks as I can pass on what I have learned with here assistance. Many times. I and many others with this knowledge are refereed to as " Farang lou mak" ruff translation is " foreigner that knows a lot" but in most cases what thay mean by it is " Foreigner that knows too much" sorry if I was a bit wordy here.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

This is an extremely negative point of view and I suspect the writer is very unhappy with his choices.

Everyone always thinks for themselves.

I knew a little of the language when I decided to move here - before I met my wife.

As my wife doesn't speak English, it is difficult for anyone to think she was ever a sex worker.

In no way am I insulated, other then I have more income, just like my Thai neighbors, however, it is a bit of a fantasy life, as back home I would be a pauper, while here I have a very nice home and money to spend.

Marriage always produces a drag on finances and those stepchildren are also your children, so naturally you should provide the best life possible - the rest of the family can go to hell - except for emergency hospitalization.

Everyone always serves their own best interests.

Meaning, most of your tirade is complete BS...

made me laugh. thanks.

[farang000999]

Answer to question in Topic Title:

Apparently I could, because I did.

I was 19 and knew no one here...

.

Maybe a new topic some day. I hope so.

How does a 19 year old immigrate to and remain in Thailand?

by making a shit load of money via the internet.

[maccaroni man]

No and to be honest I would not have stayed if it was not for a woman

[SteeleJoe]

Answer to question in Topic Title:

Apparently I could, because I did.

I was 19 and knew no one here...

.

Maybe a new topic some day. I hope so.

How does a 19 year old immigrate to and remain in Thailand?

by making a shit load of money via the internet.

Not only was I not one of the seemingly vast number of young Internet millionaires (if we go by all the ones that appear on TVF), but I came before the internet existed - people didn't even have PCs...

[JLCrab]

Much as SJ mentions above, when I first started working in PRChina all communication from USA and much of within PRChina had to be done by Telex.

I moved to Thailand after have worked (but never lived) in Asia for 15 years, was already conversant in Thai, and had spent 3 extended trips to Thailand as a volunteer for a Foundation under Patronage of HM The King. I think it is fair to say that the young woman who I was with at the time of my moving to Thailand -- and am still with almost 10 years later -- was helped over the next few years with her getting settled in her native Thailand by me more than I was ever helped by her.

[craigt3365]

A few bickering posts have been removed from view. Please keep it civil and abide by forum rules or we'll have to close this thread.

[rene123]

Why does it have to be specifically a woman helping a man in Thailand? We all receive help along the way of life. I received a lot of good advice from a friend of my father. It shortened the learning gap immensely. Many Thais, both men and women, have helped me adjust to what Thailand has to offer. I've learned many valuable things from this forum, if not only from direct advice, but also by reading between the lines.

[Nana Cowboy]

Why does it have to be specifically a woman helping a man in Thailand? We all receive help along the way of life. I received a lot of good advice from a friend of my father. It shortened the learning gap immensely. Many Thais, both men and women, have helped me adjust to what Thailand has to offer. I've learned many valuable things from this forum, if not only from direct advice, but also by reading between the lines.

just because that's what the thread is about. certainly you could start a new thread

[EBlair48]

additional: i've said this before, it's not a popular opinion, but will say it again. many males (often from the generation OVER 50) tend to be incapable taking care of themselves. they need a woman (mum-complex) to wash their clothes, cook them a meal and listen to their stories/complaints/wisdom. majority of males i have met in thailand are not emancipated at all and therefore they are perfectly compatible with this "taking-care-reflex" most basic thai (both male and female) have to offer. do not be offended by this statement. i'm not saying these people are losers. in fact, they fit in perfectly here. my neighbours for example don't understand that I don't have thai wife (to clean my clothes and dishes and etc etc) since I can "afford" it.

Not sure how much of this is " need' , and how much is just plain old fashioned laziness from sexism- female as server to male. And it's not just the over 50's. Thailand, with its thousands of willing, certainly attracts this needling.

[NeverSure]

I just showed up. Just like I did in several European cities. Got on just fine. Why would anyone need help from a woman or anyone for that matter? Maybe stay at home if you can't do it on your own.

Europe isn't Thailand. At least you can immediately read the signs there, and probably know at least some of the words. Plus, English is widely spoken.

It also depends on what you are doing. If just cruising around, perhaps renting a place, you can easily get by here without any local help. Build a big house, have maids, cars, gardeners, pool guys, repair men for all the stuff that goes wrong with your house, etc., having somebody with a very good command of the local language is a HUGE help. Especially if you just moved here.

Yes, If you're going to build a big house with all of the amenities, you definitely need a Thai wife to help supervise it. She'll be very thorough because after all, it will soon all be hers!

[Banzai99]

Oh God..I was 12, OK,?

[geronimo]

From the title of your thread, I guess the question is directed at those who needed the help of a female, in order to come and live here in the first place. You are asking them if they could have done it without the woman's assistance, right?

Fortunately I am not in that group. I have never needed anyone's assistance to locate anywhere.

[belg]

strange, one day, it is full of people who can do all by themselves

and in the next thread, everybody is boasting about having a maid, driver, cook, gardener

so which one is it ?

[HardenedSoul]

.

Maybe a new topic some day. I hope so.

How does a 19 year old immigrate to and remain in Thailand?

by making a shit load of money via the internet.

Not only was I not one of the seemingly vast number of young Internet millionaires (if we go by all the ones that appear on TVF), but I came before the internet existed - people didn't even have PCs...

Yep there's so many of them here, aren't there?

You may remember that poster, "meatballs".

Classic Thaivisa clown. Right up there with that berk, Eesat.

On one thread he's telling all and sundry that he's retired at 30 on internet millions and in another, he was asking if anyone knew of any apartments in Chiang Mai or Issan he could rent for ฿2,000 per month because the ฿3,000 per month he was already paying was getting a bit tough to manage. Extreme budget I think he called it

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/571679-need-extreme-budget-room-somewhere/

Last I heard, he was trying to find digs for $50 a month in Phnom Penh.

[pigeonjake]

right this is only my thoughts,

ive worked all over the world, but have allways had my digs sorted when i got there, so no big deal,

i think the ones that say, yes ive done it without the help of a women, must of settled in a tourist area were there is a lot of people who speak english,

i dont think there would be many who can say, ive moved to rural thailand without the help of a women, there isnt the people there who speak english, so finding the things you need isnt that easy,

yes you can settle in pattaya find everything you need,

acomadation,laundrey, food, shops,

but in rural thailand it isnt like that,

jake

[eek]

No help from anyone..just one woman (myself).

Have lived in other countries (with a partner and alone) and have very happily traveled alone also.
However i do understand that for many of the guys that come here, they do so for retirement purposes, so having someone take care of everything can be a breath of fresh air. Just dont think its a good idea.

[TheSpade]

strange, one day, it is full of people who can do all by themselves

and in the next thread, everybody is boasting about having a maid, driver, cook, gardener

so which one is it ?

Probably another reason aside from the women that a lot of guys like coming here...they don't really have to do anything for themselves. No cooking, no cleaning your apartment, no laundry etc....it's dirt cheap to pay someone to do it.

Have to say it is good not to have to do all that boring stuff like cleaning and washing clothes, dull!

right this is only my thoughts,

ive worked all over the world, but have allways had my digs sorted when i got there, so no big deal,

i think the ones that say, yes ive done it without the help of a women, must of settled in a tourist area were there is a lot of people who speak english,

i dont think there would be many who can say, ive moved to rural thailand without the help of a women, there isnt the people there who speak english, so finding the things you need isnt that easy,

yes you can settle in pattaya find everything you need,

acomadation,laundrey, food, shops,

but in rural thailand it isnt like that,

jake

Who would want to move to rural Thailand anyway? I mean what appeal is there especially if you don't speak English and know no one there?