Could you have settled in Thailand without the help from a woman?

[JLCrab]

As per the above, rural Thailand has no appeal whatsoever -- I suggest you stay where you are.

As per language skills English, Thai or otherwise, from The Ox-Bow Incident (1943):

-- Jenny Grier: [when Juan finally speaks English after pretending he only knows Spanish] So, he speaks American!

-- Juan Martínez: And ten other languages, my dear - but I don't tell anything I don't want to in any of them.

Edited July 30, 2013 by JLCrab

[pigeonjake]

rural thailand might not apeal to some,

but for some of us its home, with plenty of apeal,

each to there own

[SteeleJoe]

right this is only my thoughts,

i think the ones that say, yes ive done it without the help of a women, must of settled in a tourist area were there is a lot of people who speak english,

Not necessarily.

It's by no means impossible to settle somewhere without knowing the language and without many locals speaking much English. People do it - and not just in Thailand. (And those of us who came here 30 years ago or more didn't always have to be in a rural area to face the same level of language barrier as one might find in the countryside.)

[pigeonjake]

i agree 30 years ago was different, and i take my hat off to you

jake

[rayongchelsea]

I dislike rural Thailand, ( actually rural anywhere!) but people can be happy there and if they get it right it must to a large extent be a better quality of life than in Bangkok, particular if you live in the less affluent neighbour hoods..

But over the course of time I have started to meet guys who live there, have been very frustrated with the place and almost seem like they are trapped there by the decisions they have made.

One being a doctor, It can be isolating for some and it almost invariably comes down to the choice of women and the idealism of the farang.

I felt isolated when we lived in a moo baan, nice neighbours etc..

I agree about the language to some extent..when I was here as a youngster and didn't know a word and sukhumvit didn't exist beyond soi 13 for me, it wasn't a problem, but I wasn't aiming to settle here, pay bills etc..buy property get married, invest my entire future here..if that is the case as it is for many now in their later years..if you are going to live here speak some of the language, it can only be beneficial..

[TheSpade]

I have to say having a Thai female friend help me sort out my phone yesterday was a blessing. Who would have known getting a new SIM card from a new provider and sorting out a monthly deal would be so difficult.

We were told multiple different things from the staff at TRUE about whether a farang could get a post pay package or not and in the end apparently I couldn't....still not sure that this is true.

Agreed on prepay instead. Not a big deal except they gave us the totally wrong advice about how to set it up and after a trip to 7/11 to add credit it still didn't work because no one told us there's a VAT charge also so you have to put more credit on than the package costs.

After several trips back and forth to the 7/11 and TRUE it still doesn't work and TRUE were just useless.

My friend had to call them in the end and sort it and I doubt I would have figured out what the issue was by myself. Even TRUE didn't seem to know to begin with.

Would have just resorted back to using my DTAC SIM so wouldn't have been a big deal but certainly good to have someone to help.

[TheSpade]

I have to say having a Thai female friend help me sort out my phone yesterday was a blessing. Who would have known getting a new SIM card from a new provider and sorting out a monthly deal would be so difficult.

We were told multiple different things from the staff at TRUE about whether a farang could get a post pay package or not and in the end apparently I couldn't....still not sure that this is true.

Agreed on prepay instead. Not a big deal except they gave us the totally wrong advice about how to set it up and after a trip to 7/11 to add credit it still didn't work because no one told us there's a VAT charge also so you have to put more credit on than the package costs.

After several trips back and forth to the 7/11 and TRUE it still doesn't work and TRUE were just useless.

My friend had to call them in the end and sort it and I doubt I would have figured out what the issue was by myself. Even TRUE didn't seem to know to begin with.

Would have just resorted back to using my DTAC SIM so wouldn't have been a big deal but certainly good to have someone to help.

[TheSpade]

I have to say having a Thai female friend help me sort out my phone yesterday was a blessing. Who would have known getting a new SIM card from a new provider and sorting out a monthly deal would be so difficult.

We were told multiple different things from the staff at TRUE about whether a farang could get a post pay package or not and in the end apparently I couldn't....still not sure that this is true.

Agreed on prepay instead. Not a big deal except they gave us the totally wrong advice about how to set it up and after a trip to 7/11 to add credit it still didn't work because no one told us there's a VAT charge also so you have to put more credit on than the package costs.

After several trips back and forth to the 7/11 and TRUE it still doesn't work and TRUE were just useless.

My friend had to call them in the end and sort it and I doubt I would have figured out what the issue was by myself. Even TRUE didn't seem to know to begin with.

Would have just resorted back to using my DTAC SIM so wouldn't have been a big deal but certainly good to have someone to help.

[mesquite]

I was recently thinking about this too.

I can't actually think of one situation where having a local girl acting as an intermediary for a foreigner is actually useful to the foreigner.

First, it stops you thinking for yourself and learning the language.

Second, they are always seeking personal gain from you (commission for them on everything at the very least, large ticket items put in their name at worst).

Third, all other Thais will assume the girl is/was a sex worker of some kind, so you will be socially disadvantaged (true or not doesn't matter).

Fourth, you are insulated from most of the reality of Thailand, so you are living a complete fantasy life.

Fifth, they will be a drag on your finances, the children that aren't yours are needy, the family hand is always stretched out.

Sixth, they are serving their own best interests, never yours.

Better for a foreigner to deal with things on their own and stand on their own two feet IMHO.

(When was your last holiday in the west where you had everything done for you be a local girl that left school at age 13?)

If this describes your experience in Thailand, I can somewhat understand your frustration and negativity.

This seems to be the view of many expats here. But, it seems to me to be a largely self-inflicted problem.

I seriously doubt if anyone put a gun to your head and forced you to marry a scammer.

My experience is very different --

First, I studied Thai at the best language schools in Bangkok and Chiang Mai.

Second, *my wife does not seek personal gain from me. Always asks me if she can buy something for

herself, even minor items. Does not like to waste money. More frugal than I am.

Third, we have never experienced any disdain as an international couple. Maybe because we are too

busy enjoying our life together and studying new things.

Fourth, we don't feel insulated in any way from reality. Folks who cannot accept Thai culture are very

likely to have this experience, but we don't have any of that.

Fifth, my wife maximizes and enhances our finances through thriftiness and ability to bargain prices.

Her family has never asked us for anything. If we take a gift to her Mom she feels kreng-jai.

Sixth, my wife is dedicated to our interests as a couple. We are as one heart.

How many in the West would marry a girl who dropped out of school at 13? Why would anyone do

that here? **By the way, my wife has a computer science degree -- that probably makes a difference.

* Have you bought her a house?

** Possibly, but I doubt it. I've had women with college degrees attempt to get money out of me. Formal education does not change a person's character.

Edited August 13, 2013 by mesquite

[tom21]

I settled here on my own so I done it my way. if I was with a woman I most likely not stayed long

[mesquite]

I was recently thinking about this too.

I can't actually think of one situation where having a local girl acting as an intermediary for a foreigner is actually useful to the foreigner.

First, it stops you thinking for yourself and learning the language.

Second, they are always seeking personal gain from you (commission for them on everything at the very least, large ticket items put in their name at worst).

Third, all other Thais will assume the girl is/was a sex worker of some kind, so you will be socially disadvantaged (true or not doesn't matter).

Fourth, you are insulated from most of the reality of Thailand, so you are living a complete fantasy life.

Fifth, they will be a drag on your finances, the children that aren't yours are needy, the family hand is always stretched out.

Sixth, they are serving their own best interests, never yours.

Better for a foreigner to deal with things on their own and stand on their own two feet IMHO.

(When was your last holiday in the west where you had everything done for you be a local girl that left school at age 13?)

IMHO this is the one to watch out for. Instead of putting a house in her name, just transfer the money to her bank account. It's the same thing.

[Jasun]

I could have settled in Thailand without the help of a woman, but it would have been twice as hard and half the fun.

In truth, I relied in a network of helpful women including neighbours, girls in the office and friends. I'm always amazed at the kind-heartedness and helpfulness of lady-folk in the Kingdom.

Of course, it's important to do most of it for yourself, or you'll never learn. Even if you came here for the crotch, don't let it become a crutch.

[Ringmybells]

We came to Thailand knowing no one. We brought the whole family, stayed in a hotel for a week and then found a rental with a one year lease. Nowadays, with the help of the internet for reseach you can almost settle anywhere in the world with no body's help but your own.