How it all ends up.....

[jack244]

I suppose she was in her 20's and you in your 50's or 60's, am I right? What did you expect? Let me say this clear, for all that still do not get this simple fact of life. She stayed with you, an old man in her grandfather's years, just for the money, and you paid her a nice rent and still did not realize this? This was not love, it does not work this way, young girls are not attracted to old chaps, neither are young boys attracted to old ladies. I repeat, what did you expect? It seems the older we are, the less sense for reality we have.

Point taken and good advice. I am 41.

Have a nice day

[robertson468]

I was really sad to read your story and how things went badly wrong with your relationship and even more so your battle with Big C. On the other hand, I hope many others on this forum will take a leaf out of your book. First Big C can be beaten and with medical advances, this is becoming more common - the very best of luck to achieve total remission. Secondly, relationships can go pear shaped in any Country, and of course when there is a big difference in culture and language, it can be even more so. The fact your ex resorted to the bar is sad, but sad for you. On the other hand, I have gotten to know some bar girls, who are great fun to be with, but I always worried that they could not get a decent job and were doing a lot of harm to their health with the amount of alcohol they drink. I run a small house letting business and we need housekeeping and offered some of the bar girls a job - they all laughed like drains and told me they can earn two and three times the amount they can earn as housekeepers - I was offering 10,000 per month, plus food, plus accommodation. Just to strike a little bit of balance, I am married to a lovely Thai Lady, who was part owner of her own Tour Company. She is respectful, loving and considerate and works to contribute to the Family Income. She has also got a lovely Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister, who will do anything to help each other, whose selflessness sometimes puts me to shame. We have just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and in response to me asking her out for an expensive meal, she said "can I cook a meal for the most important person in my life and sit at home with you and a nice bottle of wine?". I am sure there are many more like me out there and I hope you join our club soon.

[Morden]

I was really sad to read your story and how things went badly wrong with your relationship and even more so your battle with Big C. On the other hand, I hope many others on this forum will take a leaf out of your book. First Big C can be beaten and with medical advances, this is becoming more common - the very best of luck to achieve total remission. Secondly, relationships can go pear shaped in any Country, and of course when there is a big difference in culture and language, it can be even more so. The fact your ex resorted to the bar is sad, but sad for you. On the other hand, I have gotten to know some bar girls, who are great fun to be with, but I always worried that they could not get a decent job and were doing a lot of harm to their health with the amount of alcohol they drink. I run a small house letting business and we need housekeeping and offered some of the bar girls a job - they all laughed like drains and told me they can earn two and three times the amount they can earn as housekeepers - I was offering 10,000 per month, plus food, plus accommodation. Just to strike a little bit of balance, I am married to a lovely Thai Lady, who was part owner of her own Tour Company. She is respectful, loving and considerate and works to contribute to the Family Income. She has also got a lovely Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister, who will do anything to help each other, whose selflessness sometimes puts me to shame. We have just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and in response to me asking her out for an expensive meal, she said "can I cook a meal for the most important person in my life and sit at home with you and a nice bottle of wine?". I am sure there are many more like me out there and I hope you join our club soon.

Great post.

Yes, there are many more like you out there.

[mogandave]

Any man that really wants to find a woman that will love him only for who is, needs to start dating women his own age.

[Munger]

Before this turns into the typical TV bargirl/Thai woman hate-fest, it's worth remembering that a lot of guys are just bloody well asking for it.

"bloody well asking for it", correct sir, trying to turn a prostitute into a wife.

[HardenedSoul]

I was really sad to read your story and how things went badly wrong with your relationship and even more so your battle with Big C. On the other hand, I hope many others on this forum will take a leaf out of your book. First Big C can be beaten and with medical advances, this is becoming more common - the very best of luck to achieve total remission. Secondly, relationships can go pear shaped in any Country, and of course when there is a big difference in culture and language, it can be even more so. The fact your ex resorted to the bar is sad, but sad for you. On the other hand, I have gotten to know some bar girls, who are great fun to be with, but I always worried that they could not get a decent job and were doing a lot of harm to their health with the amount of alcohol they drink. I run a small house letting business and we need housekeeping and offered some of the bar girls a job - they all laughed like drains and told me they can earn two and three times the amount they can earn as housekeepers - I was offering 10,000 per month, plus food, plus accommodation. Just to strike a little bit of balance, I am married to a lovely Thai Lady, who was part owner of her own Tour Company. She is respectful, loving and considerate and works to contribute to the Family Income. She has also got a lovely Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister, who will do anything to help each other, whose selflessness sometimes puts me to shame. We have just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and in response to me asking her out for an expensive meal, she said "can I cook a meal for the most important person in my life and sit at home with you and a nice bottle of wine?". I am sure there are many more like me out there and I hope you join our club soon.

Good for you, buddy.

Unlike others who swear by their wedded bliss, yours refuses to accept the expensive gifts and such and that, IMHO, is the Holy Grail.

On the other hand, one or two posters genuinely believe that buying the wife a house and a car - the equivalent of declaring their love for her from the rooftops - will somehow bestow longevity on their union.

"My generosity shows how much I love her and, therefore, she'll never leave me"

[Morden]

Any man that really wants to find a woman that will love him only for who is, needs to start dating women his own age.

Crap.

[Morden]

I was really sad to read your story and how things went badly wrong with your relationship and even more so your battle with Big C. On the other hand, I hope many others on this forum will take a leaf out of your book. First Big C can be beaten and with medical advances, this is becoming more common - the very best of luck to achieve total remission. Secondly, relationships can go pear shaped in any Country, and of course when there is a big difference in culture and language, it can be even more so. The fact your ex resorted to the bar is sad, but sad for you. On the other hand, I have gotten to know some bar girls, who are great fun to be with, but I always worried that they could not get a decent job and were doing a lot of harm to their health with the amount of alcohol they drink. I run a small house letting business and we need housekeeping and offered some of the bar girls a job - they all laughed like drains and told me they can earn two and three times the amount they can earn as housekeepers - I was offering 10,000 per month, plus food, plus accommodation. Just to strike a little bit of balance, I am married to a lovely Thai Lady, who was part owner of her own Tour Company. She is respectful, loving and considerate and works to contribute to the Family Income. She has also got a lovely Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister, who will do anything to help each other, whose selflessness sometimes puts me to shame. We have just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and in response to me asking her out for an expensive meal, she said "can I cook a meal for the most important person in my life and sit at home with you and a nice bottle of wine?". I am sure there are many more like me out there and I hope you join our club soon.

Good for you, buddy.

Unlike others who swear by their wedded bliss, yours refuses to accept the expensive gifts and such and that, IMHO, is the Holy Grail.

On the other hand, one or two posters genuinely believe that buying the wife a house and a car - the equivalent of declaring their love for her from the rooftops - will somehow bestow longevity on their union.

"My generosity shows how much I love her and, therefore, she'll never leave me"

More crap.

[HardenedSoul]

Good for you, buddy.

Unlike others who swear by their wedded bliss, yours refuses to accept the expensive gifts and such and that, IMHO, is the Holy Grail.

On the other hand, one or two posters genuinely believe that buying the wife a house and a car - the equivalent of declaring their love for her from the rooftops - will somehow bestow longevity on their union.

"My generosity shows how much I love her and, therefore, she'll never leave me"

More crap.

Oops, I'm sorry . . .

Did you employ a variation of this strategy with your wife ?

[Morden]

Good for you, buddy.

Unlike others who swear by their wedded bliss, yours refuses to accept the expensive gifts and such and that, IMHO, is the Holy Grail.

On the other hand, one or two posters genuinely believe that buying the wife a house and a car - the equivalent of declaring their love for her from the rooftops - will somehow bestow longevity on their union.

"My generosity shows how much I love her and, therefore, she'll never leave me"

More crap.

Oops, I'm sorry . . .

Did you employ a variation of this strategy with your wife ?

Trolling again? Get your own life.

[HardenedSoul]

Oops, I'm sorry . . .

Did you employ a variation of this strategy with your wife ?

Trolling again? Get your own life.

I've got one thanks but I notice that you didn't answer the question.

[Aussieroaming]

Keep fighting bro...not everything in life is a lie. Hope you smash the big C too

[Morden]

Jack244, the OP has been going through a painful period of emotions, fear and change. He seems to be winning the battle and I hope things continue on the up for him. It takes guts to write about such experiences on a public forum and I admire that.

It's gratifying to read the empathic, supportive and helpful posts on this thread. It's difficult for any of us who have not suffered as he has to imagine the nightmare that he has lived but a good number of posters have done their best.

I have great respect for him. Perhaps those who don't or who are short on empathy and kind heartedness would take their snide and cynical remarks elsewhere and cease their attempts to wreck a thread that may be helpful to others as well as the OP.

[belg]

how does that story goes again :

you can take a girl out of a bar, but you will never take the bar out of the girl

best example...

[nontabury]

I suppose she was in her 20's and you in your 50's or 60's, am I right? What did you expect? Let me say this clear, for all that still do not get this simple fact of life. She stayed with you, an old man in her grandfather's years, just for the money, and you paid her a nice rent and still did not realize this? This was not love, it does not work this way, young girls are not attracted to old chaps, neither are young boys attracted to old ladies. I repeat, what did you expect? It seems the older we are, the less sense for reality we have.

Read it again,he's in his 40's and it sounds as if she's in her thirties.

What has happened to you, did a previous g/f leave you for a much older guy, or in the past did your present g/f have a much older b/f and now you cannot get your head around that fact?.

[stefb1964]

Hey thanks. As fir dayghter, well pointed out, i have engaged a local lawyer who is charged with arranging some welfare arangement.

Upon discovety, i adked if daughter coukd come eith me. She agreed instantly. She slready has previously given her elder son up.

I now await the saga of thai paperwork etc. i visted my daughter last week and her school. Alls well.

Bargirl hasnt been home for 4 months.

The essence of my post is, no matter what you do, give or feel, there are tjose who will shake you down.

An appaling situation, waste of affection, time and love.

Just wanted to share...

Just sail a steady ship, virtually all of is know someone that has battled cancer. It takes a long time to recover physically, and even longer for many people emotionally.

Getting involved in a custody battle could knock you back a bit. Do whatever it takes to keep an even keel.

Years ago when I was going through a tumultuous time my Dad told me this.......in connection with my divorce and officialdom......

" Nobody cares, your lawyer isn't lying awake at night worrying about you, the court officials couldn't care less, the judge even less so. To the bank manager your only a number and an automatically generated letter, to your Doctor your only a guy he's sees once in a blue moon. The only person lying awake and worrying is you. The sooner realize that the better ".

The sooner we all realize that the better I say.

spot on

[HardenedSoul]

Like all places in the world be careful. I like the post about being the "prey" not the night in shining armour. Remember some of them play the long game. I am hoping after 15 years i an one of the lucky ones. Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I'm sure you're safe by now, mate.

[maprao]

Like all places in the world be careful. I like the post about being the "prey" not the night in shining armour. Remember some of them play the long game. I am hoping after 15 years i an one of the lucky ones. Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

I'm sure you're safe by now, mate.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I pretty much figure we have both (wifey and me) become 2 middle aged ditherers together.

She goes wherever I go for work we are rarely apart. 7 years age gap. However what I see happening around me when are at home in Thailand it scares me. Some of the people doing these rip offs tell my wife how lucky she is to have found a good one. They should actually see had they behaved in a similar way they to would still have their original husband (farang) or a "good one." Paranoia takes me into " the my wife is different category" there lays another thread!

We survived unemployment and illness and still here.

My sympathy goes out to the op but good for him for beating the big C into remission.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app