When Thais talk **** about you right in front of your face...

[Nautilus05]

This only really applies to people who speak a little Thai, or enough to overhear conversations. What do you do when someone starts talking shit about you when they're about 2 feet away from you, and they don't realize you can understand what they're saying?

God that pisses me off.

I just went down to the store to grab a few things. Just a typical, family owned mom & pop store. They had some family event / meal going on, mom was the clerk, and this ~20yo female was milling around, who I'm assuming was their daughter / niece. The young ditzy thing starts saying I'm stupid, and so are all farangs, and this and that.

I figured she probably already had some lao khao in her, so gave her a bit of lee-way for being young and stupid. The part that angered me was the mom / aunt didn't speak up at all. This lady is about 45, and doesn't know my level of Thai, but knows that I know at least some. I don't know, maybe she was just silently hoping I didn't understand what was being said.

So I got pissed, and just said, "excuse me? yes, I do understand what you're saying". The ditzy thing then just tried to joke her way out of it, and said it's no problem. That just pissed me off even more, so I began putting my things back on the shelf, and said, "sorry about that, and i'll never come to your store again. don't worry, there's about 6 other stores in walking distance, and i'll go there from now on".

At that point, the mom / aunt spoke up. She spoke really quickly in Laos though (i'm in Issan), so I didn't catch what she said. Whatever was said prompted the ditzy thing to apologize to me though, so I grabbed my stuff again, and bought from that store.

I don't know, just pissed me off. What do you do when things like that happen?

[soi41]

The ditzy thing was right! You are fxxxxxng stupid!

They insulted you to your face, and you still bought from them??

[Nautilus05]

The ditzy thing was right! You are fxxxxxng stupid!

They insulted you to your face, and you still bought from them??

She politely apologized. It's not about the mistakes you make, but how you handle them.

[David48]

I hear you ... no pun intended.

My gf is happy I don't speak or understand Thai.

Sometimes, I happy with that also.

Sometimes it's better not to know.

Sometimes ...

.

[Mooner]

Its a catch 22 thing learning Thai. I think most people would like to be able to speak. Mainly to ask for things than to have conversations.

The problem is when you can it becomes annoying because then you hear all the bad things being said about you and then you have to bite your tongue!

[Hedghog]

You got insulted.

Then still bought from the said retailer.

That beggars belief.

But you showed them,eh,doh.

[Gsxrnz]

Its a catch 22 thing learning Thai. I think most people would like to be able to speak. Mainly to ask for things than to have conversations.

The problem is when you can it becomes annoying because then you hear all the bad things being said about you and then you have to bite your tongue!

Why bite your tongue? All you have to do is say something totally polite but unrelated in Thai - more than a few words, but enough for them to realise that you understand enough and knew what they said.

Stare at them with a smile while you're saying it and watch their world crumble, and watch all the other Thais around them watch the offender as their world crumbles - priceless.

They lose a little face to you, but lose bucketloads in front of the other Thais around them. You gain big time - money in the bank.

This "face" thing is a wonderful weapon when the trigger is squeezed at the appropriate time.

[krisb]

Nex time your in there say hi just me the stupid falang.

[tuky]

It is the same in Indonesia.

I used to have a beer with this old english guy who still had a colonialist type mentality.

It was amusing listening to the staff talk <deleted> to and about him and he thinking they were singing his praises.

In a bizare twist this guy started "dating" one of the bar staff, he decided he needed a driver and she offered up one of her female friends.

The female friend was the bar girls lesbian live in lover. So the two lesbians got to go everywhere together on his dime and with this guy being none the wiser. Sorry, off topic.

[tingtong]

i wouldnt buy.

bad me, i also tell bad things about such thai.

but then i stand behind my words and action.

there is always onother who hope to pick up the business.

[HeavyDrinker]

On more than a few occasions when it's been pointed out that I can speak Thai there have been a few red faces. These are usually followed by well meant and well accepted apologies. Then again I've never heard anything that bad said about me personally to be honest. Most of it tends to be generalisations (often wild ones) about Westerners.

On the rare occasion I hear something opprobrious about myself, I just sit there and smile, content in the knowledge that I probably pay more tax in a month than their entire salary...

Life's too short....

[itchybum]

Its a catch 22 thing learning Thai. I think most people would like to be able to speak. Mainly to ask for things than to have conversations.

The problem is when you can it becomes annoying because then you hear all the bad things being said about you and then you have to bite your tongue!

Surely not....these people love us enough for some to want to fight for the country.

[Gsxrnz]

Nex time your in there say hi just me the stupid falang.

That's one option, although I think under the rules you would actually lose face (and give face to them) by saying that, because they've already been embarrassed about it and technically lost face and apologised.

A better option is to "forget" that it happened and be polite, even smarmily polite. Then under the rules of engagement, they have to be even more nice to you to make amends (give face) for their original misdemeanour and the fact that you aren't trying to take away their face directly by mentioning the original incident. In a round-a-bout sort of way, you're making them lose face by them being compelled to give you face.

She will know she's being screwed, but will have to play by the rules....provided YOU play by the rules. This can go on forever, until she outdoes you and gives you super-big face in some way, and then it's technically even - or you may find that she manages to put you in a situation where you have to repay face to her.

The Rugby rules are a piece of cake compared to the Face rules.

[ToddWeston]

Next time make a call to an imaginary friend and say in perfect Thai

I'm at the store, do you need anything ? ... you know the store that forgot to charge you for (insert expensive product) last week.

[GarryP]

I am sure bad things have been said about me within earshot but I don't recall any off hand. In the case of the OP, I would like to think I would do as Gsxrnz (I do this when I am ignored by a sales person who addresses their questions to the Thai person I am with, despite me clearly talking in Thai to my friend/colleague/wife/son).

Edited October 9, 2013 by GarryP

[somtampet]

_{It amuses me to see this thread,on a scale of 1 to 100, i reckon farangs bad mouth thais 97 and thais bad mouth farang 3,and 2 of them,the farang deserved it.I here issan monkeys on here,farm fresh,dark skin racism compared to thai white skin, all the crap,abusing thais}

[Totster]

A girl in the shop the other day shouted 'farang' when I walked into the shop, I turned around and asked 'who is the farang' in Lao.. she burst into tears..

totster

[A1Str8]

A girl in the shop the other day shouted 'farang' when I walked into the shop, I turned around and asked 'who is the farang' in Lao.. she burst into tears..

 

totster

Lol she got owned for life.

[khunsuar]

Am sure that things have been said about and to me also. But, since I'm deaf... Who cares?

[willyumiii]

I find that just saying a little something in Thai will change their attitude.

You don't need to know much thai, just a few phrases that will apply to almost any situation.

Just enough that they will think you understand them.

My favorite ( I used it just this morning):

When you hear the word Farang used smile and in Thai tell them " I am not Farang, I am Saparot!"

They always pause for a second and then burst out in laughter.

Sometimes they even repeat it to their friends who might not have heard you.

You are telling them that you are not a Guava, you are a Pineapple!

Some will ask "why are you a pineapple?"

I tell them that I am brown and rough outside and soft and sweet inside. Again, they laugh.

If you can tell a little joke about yourself in their language you are ahead of the game and gain a little respect.

They are very careful about what they say about you in the future.

Now to some locals I am known as Mister Saparot!

Edited October 9, 2013 by willyumiii

[Totster]

I see the joke (and so do they by carrying on calling you saparot).. but it works just as well (if not better) if you give them your real name.

totster

[Gsxrnz]

A girl in the shop the other day shouted 'farang' when I walked into the shop, I turned around and asked 'who is the farang' in Lao.. she burst into tears..

totster

Classic!

In similar situations where the Thai person asks my wife a question that he would like to ask me (maybe what size, what brand, deliver it when etc.), we play a game. She repeats the question to me in Thai, I answer to her in Thai, and she repeats it to the shop assistant, car repairer or whatever.

It usually takes 3 questions before the shop assistant clicks, usually smiles, and then asks me directly. The record, which astounded me, was the True Visions installer - I lost count at 7 questions but he finally clicked. The first thing he asked me was "do you speak Thai?". Go figure.

I said yes on that occasion, but occasionally I say puut passat thai mai-dai na kap. That confuses them.

Edited October 9, 2013 by Gsxrnz

[HeavyDrinker]

Nex time your in there say hi just me the stupid falang.

That's one option, although I think under the rules you would actually lose face (and give face to them) by saying that, because they've already been embarrassed about it and technically lost face and apologised.

A better option is to "forget" that it happened and be polite, even smarmily polite. Then under the rules of engagement, they have to be even more nice to you to make amends (give face) for their original misdemeanour and the fact that you aren't trying to take away their face directly by mentioning the original incident. In a round-a-bout sort of way, you're making them lose face by them being compelled to give you face.

She will know she's being screwed, but will have to play by the rules....provided YOU play by the rules. This can go on forever, until she outdoes you and gives you super-big face in some way, and then it's technically even - or you may find that she manages to put you in a situation where you have to repay face to her.

The Rugby rules are a piece of cake compared to the Face rules.

I like this and it is an excellent tactic.

A good friend (with only a little Thai) once had a situation with a really nasty female piece of work at one of our locals. She turned nasty after she realised that he wouldn't be playing ball to her advances and she wouldn't be getting a baht out of him.

She would constantly call him 'pisshead' 'tight-fisted' and such like, bad-mouth him to Thai friends and girlfriends he took there, yet all the time he was more than aware she was slagging him off. When people pointed it out to him he just laughed it off, saying he was above such tomfoolery.

His response was to always be super polite and charming to her as well as anyone she slagged him off to. He never once rose to her bait which would drive her insane with fury and in the end made her look a total tool.

She vanished without trace after about a month of this....

[A1Str8]

My approach is that why pay attention to something insignificant. It's not thais. It's people in general. They talk sh_t about each other all the time. Guaranteed, somebody is talking crap about me or you at this moment. So be it. I just ignore it. They can say what they want to say. Others' opinion about me is non of my business.

[welsh1]

I have been living In Thailand for about 6 years now,,, I speak enough Thai to be able to communicate with other Thais.

also I can understand when some one is talking about me.

In your situation,,, I would have told the person in question,, what I thought about them,, and told them what they could do with the products I was gong to buy from there shop ( stick it up your A@#,,,( All in Thai ),,,Then I would go else where to spend my money

Plenty of shops In Thailand,,,

[arthurwait]

" Ghey lue narak mak"

I didn't know what to think.

[cooked]

On my wedding day at the Amphur I got 'All farangs are little dogs' when my wife was out of earshot. She got an answer about many Thai ladies resembling ghosts with their white skin crap (referring to her).

This very morning we visited a shop we had been buying seeds for a year now. A new girl there treated my wife as if she was a bar girl and asked impertinent questions. I didn't catch that part of the conversation but I did understand when she shouted to the sullen Chinese lady at the back 'you can keep your seeds, there's another shop down the road'. No reaction of course , why bother.

[Jasun]

Knowing a little Thai can be a dangerous thing. It's easy to fill in the words you don't know and end up with the wrong message altogether. Better to know it very we'll or not at all, ignorance is bliss.

[JoeThePoster]

It is the same in Indonesia.

I used to have a beer with this old english guy who still had a colonialist type mentality.

It was amusing listening to the staff talk <deleted> to and about him and he thinking they were singing his praises.

In a bizare twist this guy started "dating" one of the bar staff, he decided he needed a driver and she offered up one of her female friends.

The female friend was the bar girls lesbian live in lover. So the two lesbians got to go everywhere together on his dime and with this guy being none the wiser. Sorry, off topic.

No, no, please continue. You were just getting to the interesting part.

[CharlieH]

A little knowledge is dangerous as they say, I can speak some thai, understand some thai but by no means proficient or fluent.

The problem I have found in many cases is what I think is being said is not always correct, because of the tonal system,and having many words with different meanings sounding the same, unless you hear the entire conversation or complete sentences it can easily be misinterpreted orl taken out of context.

I am not saying that happened in this case as I wasnt there, but if I was, and I was sure, I would have asked the girl immediately if she was having a bad day, felt ok, and why she spoke in that manner, the problem then is, as often happens, they think you can speak thai, start talking back and you dont understand everything being said and then look stupid because you actually dont understand.

Therefore, unless your sure, proficient and capable, just smile and move on.

Edited October 9, 2013 by CharlieH