Dating tips thread

[tolsti]

Are you American by any chance? Why do you need people to tell you what to do? Do you not have any imagination or self ability to adapt to local situations and realities?

Dear Abby died out long ago.

bridge dweller methinks

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Edited May 1, 2014 by tolsti

[ggt]

You can learn some Thai...on the internet...free...will help you immensely...

Thai working class girls...banking...real-estate...marketing...mall sales...and so on...may seem a bit unapproachable at first...but if you see one you want to peruse...be bold...be friendly...be sincere...be yourself....

Nothing ventured...nothing gained...

[Old Stud]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

My take on things based upon a few years of residing in bkk, speaking reading writing thai language.

# abundance of stunted emotional development

# abundance of stunted intellectual development

# abundance of critical / analytical thinking deficit

# abundance of erratic unreliable behavior

# logic deficit not attributable to asia since Japanese / taiwanese people are way different

The above may be a reflection of

# lack of integrity (society)

# largely incompetent society

# image over substance based society

# feudal education system

In my experience an exceedingly small % of society is G7 functional level. well less than 1%

Thailand is far from being a panacea for women / dating although many may perceive it as such.

Based on the above it seems the chances of hooking up with an outside the box, high function, logical, non erratic reliable female is very small.

Such females I have known usually have had experience with and/or exposure to progressive dynamic people and / or life experiences. Examples; parents are worldly traveled educated outside the box, they studied abroad, have significant exposure to progressive friends, not infrequently from affluent families.

IMO countries like japan and taiwan offer a much higher % of quality dating opportunities.

I generally agree with a lot of that. But as far as dating a Thai girl, I think the problem goes both ways. There are a whole lot of stupid lonely farangs who could never find a woman in their country and come to Thailand looking to in some way "buy one." They're thinking, hey, a missus here couldn't cost anywhere near what one would cost in the UK, and they don't argue with you. Many of them are too dumb to halfway figure out what they're getting in to. I've see it where I live - very bright Thai gal wants to get rescued by "rich" farang - marries the guy only to find out that she's ten times smarter. Many Thai women are practical wise, and they end up running the house of the deadbeat farang husband. They don't know how to have a relationship back home, how do they expect to have one that works here. And the woman can't find a good Thai husband. I agree with the saying "likes attract." Two desperate people meet and get together for all the wrong reasons. Then after a year or two life is hell for both of them. All I have to say to any man coming to Thailand - be very very very very careful before you "fall in love" or get into any sort of relationship with a Thai woman. Also Thai women first of all women, women with different emotions than western women. From what I've seen when a Thai woman hooks up with a western man, its a business arrangement. It's obvious with the country or bar girls, more money = a better life, but even the educated ones would marry a foreigner for some advantage - often for the opportunity to see the world and live a more glamorous life. So I would say a great many Thai women are very smart like a con artist is very smart - it's either the long or short con, but except for like smiley dude says its a very small percentage who treat a western man like a western man psychologically expects to be treated. Whole different culture, different way of thinking, different way of acting, different rules and expectations - and why that is so hard for western men to grasp is beyond me.

[Guitar God]

I see loads of Thai women at Fitness First working out. Whether they're single or there staying in shape for fear their farang bf/husband will leave them is anyone's guess but they are there. I think the membership is around 9-10k a month but it is a nice club with good facilities and many locations.

Shorts on a date. No problem, especially if it's a badminton date. I'm sure they'd rather see knobby knees than pit stains if you're still a heavy sweater by then.

You do adjust to the heat. When I first got here I often felt too hot. After a few weeks I noticed that people younger and in better shape than me were sweating like pigs and I was dry and comfortable.

At your age, bars near universities is also a good option but just remember, not 100% of the college women there are there just to make friends. Some may be paying their way through school.

[tamvine]

Seems you are preparing well for the Dating than for your graduate job. Good Luck !

[smotherb]

If you date 1 stick with her unless you want to carry your penis to the reattachment clinic after girl number 2 pops up on the scene.

would you really consider girls 1 and 2 as "Good Thai Girls"?

[Thakkar]

"looking to date girls in the 18-24 brackets"

My daughters are in that bracket. Keep away from them!

That's my advice.

You're welcome.

T

[smotherb]

wearing shorts on a date?????

Doesn't it depend on where you go on the date? You collared, long-sleeved shirt, trousered, shoes and socks Eurps certainly appear out of place here in the tropics. What's the matter, can't afford some casual summer wear? Look around you, younger Thais, especially the girls, wear shorts too--and it is the tropics.

[eastcanje]

Are you American by any chance? Why do you need people to tell you what to do? Do you not have any imagination or self ability to adapt to local situations and realities?

Dear Abby died out long ago.

bridge dweller methinks

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

And your envy of Americans comes bubbling forth!!

What's the matter was your visa application rejected?

[mrfaroukh]

Sorry to say this but 95% here still look for how wealthy you are. Your chances reduces very much if the girl has to spend on you, no matter if it is a bar girl or any other girl. I don't know where u come from but in most Asian countries it is a boy who almost all the time take care of the girl, and here is in Asia. Here not only you have to take care of the girl but also her family. But don't worry I am sure you will find someone who may stay with you with your budget but you still have to pay for her living.

[Guitar God]

While I agree that the majority of respondents here slag off Thai women and paint them all with the same brush, if you can manage to navigate around the effluvia you'll also find many examples of farang men in various, happy and successful relationships with Thai women.

You just have to seperate the wheat from the chaff here, and there's a lot of chaff here...

I'm not saying to ignore warnings or disregard advice but you have to consider the source, motivation and backstory of each post.

OP - Given its enshrined on thaivisa that Thai girls are the scum of the earth and anyone is given free passage to say so on here over and over and over and over again, you are coming to the wrong place to ask your question!!

[elgenon]

Re gym

Since Cal Wow! closed there is no major gym in CM. You can go to Dewang Tawan Hotel for 300 B but i haven't seen any Thai girls working out.

There is also a gym at Ratti Lanna. And \I believe there is Thailand Gym near Kad Suan Keow,

If you were in BKK I would recommend true Fitness. You see can see the size of the Thai middle class as there are many Thais working out and taking classes. Many women.

Most Thais are uncomfortable speaking English because they never do and/or because they have limited ability and are shy about it. But you are right that having a common experience helps. Be careful of Thai boyfriends that are in another part of the gym. 555

[ggt]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

My take on things based upon a few years of residing in bkk, speaking reading writing thai language.

# abundance of stunted emotional development

# abundance of stunted intellectual development

# abundance of critical / analytical thinking deficit

# abundance of erratic unreliable behavior

# logic deficit not attributable to asia since Japanese / taiwanese people are way different

The above may be a reflection of

# lack of integrity (society)

# largely incompetent society

# image over substance based society

# feudal education system

In my experience an exceedingly small % of society is G7 functional level. well less than 1%

Thailand is far from being a panacea for women / dating although many may perceive it as such.

Based on the above it seems the chances of hooking up with an outside the box, high function, logical, non erratic reliable female is very small.

Such females I have known usually have had experience with and/or exposure to progressive dynamic people and / or life experiences. Examples; parents are worldly traveled educated outside the box, they studied abroad, have significant exposure to progressive friends, not infrequently from affluent families.

IMO countries like japan and taiwan offer a much higher % of quality dating opportunities.

I generally agree with a lot of that. But as far as dating a Thai girl, I think the problem goes both ways. There are a whole lot of stupid lonely farangs who could never find a woman in their country and come to Thailand looking to in some way "buy one." They're thinking, hey, a missus here couldn't cost anywhere near what one would cost in the UK, and they don't argue with you. Many of them are too dumb to halfway figure out what they're getting in to. I've see it where I live - very bright Thai gal wants to get rescued by "rich" farang - marries the guy only to find out that she's ten times smarter. Many Thai women are practical wise, and they end up running the house of the deadbeat farang husband. They don't know how to have a relationship back home, how do they expect to have one that works here. And the woman can't find a good Thai husband. I agree with the saying "likes attract." Two desperate people meet and get together for all the wrong reasons. Then after a year or two life is hell for both of them. All I have to say to any man coming to Thailand - be very very very very careful before you "fall in love" or get into any sort of relationship with a Thai woman. Also Thai women first of all women, women with different emotions than western women. From what I've seen when a Thai woman hooks up with a western man, its a business arrangement. It's obvious with the country or bar girls, more money = a better life, but even the educated ones would marry a foreigner for some advantage - often for the opportunity to see the world and live a more glamorous life. So I would say a great many Thai women are very smart like a con artist is very smart - it's either the long or short con, but except for like smiley dude says its a very small percentage who treat a western man like a western man psychologically expects to be treated. Whole different culture, different way of thinking, different way of acting, different rules and expectations - and why that is so hard for western men to grasp is beyond me.

No one is as brilliant as you are....

[SandyFeet]

wearing shorts on a date?????

Doesn't it depend on where you go on the date? You collared, long-sleeved shirt, trousered, shoes and socks Eurps certainly appear out of place here in the tropics. What's the matter, can't afford some casual summer wear? Look around you, younger Thais, especially the girls, wear shorts too--and it is the tropics.

Shorts are for schoolboys. They are not to be worn on an evening date. You have to be European to wear a collared shirt and trousers??? Something tells me the ladies like you for some other reason than your glowing personality and Beer Chang tanktop...

[rickb]

As many have already advised, just be yourself. But realize that your date is probably also trying to just be herself. So it's important for you to recognize that there will likely be many cultural differences between the two of you. Don't get upset with this but accept it. Always try to better understand what is normal for her might not be viewed as normal for you. You'll find many cultural differences in such areas as food, family customs, religious beliefs, reactions to embarassing situations, handling of money, etc. As you begin to recognize the differences between the two of you, accept them openly and don't ever get upset about it. Always remain cool hearted and don't over-react to anything. Farangs are known for their hot headedness and Thais don't like that one bit.

Good luck.

[Old Stud]

As many have already advised, just be yourself. But realize that your date is probably also trying to just be herself. So it's important for you to recognize that there will likely be many cultural differences between the two of you. Don't get upset with this but accept it. Always try to better understand what is normal for her might not be viewed as normal for you. You'll find many cultural differences in such areas as food, family customs, religious beliefs, reactions to embarassing situations, handling of money, etc. As you begin to recognize the differences between the two of you, accept them openly and don't ever get upset about it. Always remain cool hearted and don't over-react to anything. Farangs are known for their hot headedness and Thais don't like that one bit.

Good luck.

Great comment!

[atyclb]

Thai girls are like all girls in the world with an exception being they may have pre-conceived ideas of how a farang (foreigner) is like.

1.Some may assume all farang men are rich and thus you may automatically seem more attractive here.

Don't let it get to your head. Use your judgement on why they may be interested in you.

2. Some may assume you are a sex-pat and feel uncomfortable because thai women holding hands with a farang are often automatically assumed to be involved in the trade. Treat her respectfully and if she is confident you are SINCERE AND SERIOUS and do not have that attitude that all women can be bought then you can open yourself to a whole new crowd of girls.

3. Some may assume you don't have manners (thai manners) and thus will not consider you as being presentable to family (more applicable to educated upper class girls who need family approval).

Show her you understand thai customs and cultures and that not all farangs are neanderthals.

In the end, like many have advised, you have to be yourself, but we all could be a better version of ourselves if we understood the mind of Venus, but then again we're from Mars so good luck and watch out for the "Adonis syndrome."

My take on things based upon a few years of residing in bkk, speaking reading writing thai language.

# abundance of stunted emotional development

# abundance of stunted intellectual development

# abundance of critical / analytical thinking deficit

# abundance of erratic unreliable behavior

# logic deficit not attributable to asia since Japanese / taiwanese people are way different

The above may be a reflection of

# lack of integrity (society)

# largely incompetent society

# image over substance based society

# feudal education system

In my experience an exceedingly small % of society is G7 functional level. well less than 1%

Thailand is far from being a panacea for women / dating although many may perceive it as such.

Based on the above it seems the chances of hooking up with an outside the box, high function, logical, non erratic reliable female is very small.

Such females I have known usually have had experience with and/or exposure to progressive dynamic people and / or life experiences. Examples; parents are worldly traveled educated outside the box, they studied abroad, have significant exposure to progressive friends, not infrequently from affluent families.

IMO countries like japan and taiwan offer a much higher % of quality dating opportunities.

I generally agree with a lot of that. But as far as dating a Thai girl, I think the problem goes both ways. There are a whole lot of stupid lonely farangs who could never find a woman in their country and come to Thailand looking to in some way "buy one." They're thinking, hey, a missus here couldn't cost anywhere near what one would cost in the UK, and they don't argue with you. Many of them are too dumb to halfway figure out what they're getting in to. I've see it where I live - very bright Thai gal wants to get rescued by "rich" farang - marries the guy only to find out that she's ten times smarter. Many Thai women are practical wise, and they end up running the house of the deadbeat farang husband. They don't know how to have a relationship back home, how do they expect to have one that works here. And the woman can't find a good Thai husband. I agree with the saying "likes attract." Two desperate people meet and get together for all the wrong reasons. Then after a year or two life is hell for both of them. All I have to say to any man coming to Thailand - be very very very very careful before you "fall in love" or get into any sort of relationship with a Thai woman. Also Thai women first of all women, women with different emotions than western women. From what I've seen when a Thai woman hooks up with a western man, its a business arrangement. It's obvious with the country or bar girls, more money = a better life, but even the educated ones would marry a foreigner for some advantage - often for the opportunity to see the world and live a more glamorous life. So I would say a great many Thai women are very smart like a con artist is very smart - it's either the long or short con, but except for like smiley dude says its a very small percentage who treat a western man like a western man psychologically expects to be treated. Whole different culture, different way of thinking, different way of acting, different rules and expectations - and why that is so hard for western men to grasp is beyond me.

No one is as brilliant as you are....

Some of us have different perspectives. I wouldn't necessarily use the term "stupid farang" however lonely and naive might be more appropriate. Also individual situations differ. For some/many the farang supporting thai wife/family (socio-economic disparity model) works well for them as that is what they want. I would imagine back in their home countries the guys were dating women from similar social strata and it wouldn't seem the women or men were seeking much in the way of financial advantage via marriage. in thailand it is different in that many expats are older and often want younger slimmer women and the path of least resistance is towards the financial disparity model.

It is not my intent to fault or criticize anyone for choices that make them happy.

[InsideOut]

If you want to reduce the chances of you attracting "whitey" hunters, who are interested in you as an object, or an ATM.

The first thing you should do, is refrain from calling yourself "whitey" all the time.

Edited May 3, 2014 by InsideOut

[atyclb]

If you want to reduce the chances of you attracting "whitey" hunters, who are interested in you as an object, or an ATM.

The first thing you should do, is refrain from calling yourself "whitey" all the time.

the only occurrence of the term(s) "whitey" "whitey hunter" in this topic is your post.

are u sure your responding to the right topic?

[smotherb]

wearing shorts on a date?????

Doesn't it depend on where you go on the date? You collared, long-sleeved shirt, trousered, shoes and socks Eurps certainly appear out of place here in the tropics. What's the matter, can't afford some casual summer wear? Look around you, younger Thais, especially the girls, wear shorts too--and it is the tropics.

Shorts are for schoolboys. They are not to be worn on an evening date. You have to be European to wear a collared shirt and trousers??? Something tells me the ladies like you for some other reason than your glowing personality and Beer Chang tanktop...

With equal certainty, long pants are for fat-legged women. If anyone is truly impressed by long-pants in the tropics, you can have them. Even the Brit army issued shorts in the tropics. I don't own a Chang tank-top, or anything else Chang, but you may be partially correct. The ladies are impressed by something other than my glowing personality--they like my legs.