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You know you're Irish if...

~ The person that you insult most is probably your best friend

~ During your youth much of your food was boiled

~ You're strangely poetic after a few beers

~ You don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing

~ You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking

~ You have no idea how to make a long story short

~ Tea is the solution to every problem

~ And holy water is the solution to every injury

~ Saying 'I will yea' means that you definitely won't

~ 'For the craic' is the best reason for doing anything

~ Nobody can go a day without saying 'Jaysus'

~ You have a gift for swearing

~ You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. 'I had a rake of drink last night' or "I'll be out in a minute, I'm just shoveling down the dinner'

~ It's perfectly acceptable to call your mother 'mammy' even though you are a fully grown adult

~ Saying 'Now we're sucking diesel' means that you are happy with the outcome of the situation

~ Drinking 'tae' is everyone's favourite past time

~ You're scared of the wooden spoon

~ The word 'like' goes in every sentence

~ You can say "Any craic' to a policeman and you won't get arrested

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