Girlfriend wants me to buy her a house

[kleelof]

The 25-year loan sounds like a great idea. If she is being straight with you, it won't be a problem.

You should ask a lawyer about some of this stuff. Because, although you are not allowed to own land, I believe it is possible for you to own or co-own a building on the land. This is why you can buy condos.

I also saw mention the other day of another avenue to pursue that would give you legal control over the property.

[pitchag]

My T/g/f wanted us to buy a house too but I needed security into my old age, not risk being evicted at a later stage if things went wrong.

So I bought a beach side Condo in Bang chang in my name and will arrange to leave it to her in my will, I bought in my name only. I have been married twice to the" love of my life"so no longer believe in the myth of soul mates.

She now loves living here and we have made many friends in the complex both falang and Thai.

In short do not be conned into buying in her name only and join the long list of disappointed ex husbands thrown out of the house and with no recourse in law.

Don't put too much in the will and never tell her as you might live shorter then you expect. Happened to a friend of mine... He can't tell us anymore. Took a life insurance on his life and the beneficiary was his wife. She didn't wait for a natural death to (try to) cash in…

I like doing most of the cooking so should be safe, but I know where you are coming from, happened to a mate in Australia he was close to the end when he realised what she was doing but could never prove it

[ukguyinthai]

I always say, do not even consider getting married, unless you have lived together for at least 12 months. Many rush this, and are sorry later. It is always in the interest of a Thai woman to rush things, and move up the agenda. It is always in our interest to slow things down, and let them develop in a more organic fashion. Take your time. Time is your ally. If it is good, it is only going to get better with time. If there are problems, they are going to reveal themselves with time. So use the time in a positive manner, and push back if she creates a sense of urgency. If you have a lot of money, and you have been together long enough to truly know who she is, what the hell? If she is from a poor family, there is an expectation of this kind of assistance. Most women are looking for financial security no matter where they are from. But be prudent.

Spidermike

Chaiyaphum, Thailand

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Brilliant advice, live together (not just know each other from a distance) for 1 year or longer, will give you all the confidence you need to make the right decision for you. And also give her a chance to learn about you. Keep your money out of the equation. If she does not agree then you have your answer. If she does agree then rent a home ,but stop talking about buying houses.

[aussieinphuket]

sounds like a marriage built on love.... love you to buy me a house then piss off..... sorry just being honest...

[praglen]

If she asked you to jump off a cliff to pick up a ball-point pen she dropped, would you do it?

If the answer is yes, just turn in your Have brains Will think t-shirt and buy a one-way ticket to your host country....

[Straight8]

I would have thought by now with the internet being so mainstream and Thai ladies reputation proceeding them that posts like this would start to dry up. Seems not.

Be kind I'm new here.

He is being kind. You won't get better advice if you offered to pay for it.

It seems if you need to ask this question you're having trouble seeing the forest from the tress & then by the time the thread is through, you would have gone ahead and purchased the house anyway. It wont make a difference what advice you get from here, you are cooked already.

Another thing you could ask yourself is; if a girl in your country requested the same thing, what would you think and do?

[Strangebrew]

LOL Boy the stories I can tell you about that one next she will tell you families water buffalo died now they have no income can you give me 500,000 baht to replace? Think is it really that good or is it you haven't had Tat since Tat had you? Dude Off hand I'd say your being played, I tell you this I met a nice Thai chick when I decided to move here at first all was good moved into her place after a week she came up with this if you respect you would give me half your money, I in turn said if you respected me you wouldn't have asked moved out same day never happier. For some better to rent than buy. But that's me If after a couple years you find you want to buy house for her then go for it but right off No <deleted> Way you will find her gone as soon as place is paid for and your broke begging for a few baht to eat. And will she care? Hell NO.

[glennb6]

geez y2k,

unless you've got more money than brains and the house cost is irrelevant and a gamble - no way.

For better or for worse, or however that translates to Thai, that needs to be proven first. If she can't deal with the later she shouldn't get the former. Even after quite some time, relationships can sour and you have zero claim on Thai property.

[montereyjp]

Hey I once found the love of my life in Lampang... Does her name start with a N and her son's name start with a Q? Hmmm.... As many has stated do not rush into it... And if she speaks good English at the risk of stereo typing she most likely has had many love affairs with foreign men...

[brianb1944]

Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)?

It doesn't matter about the house. The house can be in you or your G/F's name. What matters is the Canute (Land Deed) and no it can't be in your name. But you can have a 30 year lease put on the land which makes it less sellable.

Usufruct is the best way to protect you tenure in the house, I am just going through it, but, I have been with my Wife for 11 years. if you buy the house, start looking for another woman, and somewhere to live.

[Straight8]

I'm liking the 25-year loan idea more now.

I am thinking you should be liking the idea of NOT getting married and ending this relationship.

All the signs are already there for you, right in the face, you just do not seem to get it.

Let me try to break it down so you may understand what you are in for.

You said she wants you to pay 1 million for the house and then you will not have to pay for other things.

Translation: She wants 1 million baht dowry.(sin sodt)

Explanation: for a lady with a kid(son as you mentioned) there is no dowry(sin sodt) If you wanted to make her family look good, you would put some money on the table, but nowhere near the 1 million baht .

She refused to have the house in your name or part of the ownership(not that you can anyway)

Translation: she is not planning to stay with you, but planning to fleece you.

Her mother and son will live there and you MAY get it later

Translation: You will never set a foot in the house, nor will you ever sleep in the house, nor will you ever get the house.

Sorry to be so blunt, but someone had to open your eyes

Great advice, but let's be serious here. What are the chances anyone here will able to open this foo.. i mean guy's eyes.??

2 i'd say!!!!

Just read OP.

[SOTIRIOS]

...either you are leading us on......playing the fool...or you are one......

...thousands have gone the same route.........losing everything to 'the love of their lives'......

....some ending up dead or destitute and on the street.....

...this is not your country....and probably never will be........

...your ideals are not theirs.......

....and when something happens.....you have virtually no rights......

...and a lawyer will end up taking more than that million if you are ever dreaming that you might be able to recoup anything....

[sead]

Just here to also tell you.

NO

Hope you see it. All in this forum have been enchanted by the lovely ladies of Thailand. Listen to us. You have to be the boss. Take a condo. Please

[spidermike007]

sounds like a marriage built on love.... love you to buy me a house then piss off..... sorry just being honest...

I am not so sure it is quite that simple. I think most relationships are based on financial security. Most women want that. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. In Thailand it is a little bit more transparent than in the west, where they work hard to hide that desire. Also, in Thailand many men end up with women who are from poor families, and the needs are greater. The reality is, if you get involved with a woman from a poor family, she is hoping you will be able to provide her, and her family financial security. Is anything wrong with that? Not if you understand what is expected. That is why I always advocate time. Time is always your ally. They are nearly always pushing the time envelope. Time is not their ally, if their intentions are anything short of honorable. So, you need to always push back. I am going to take my time. I will help you out a little bit now (nothing more than a decent monthly allowance, for the first year), and if things work out between us, I will be there for you later. Period. No exceptions. A minimum of one year, before you do anything big. You have to know she will be there for you long term before you commit real money.

You also have to understand that with most poor families the needs will be long term and continuous. It also depends on what her family is made of. I was fortunate. My woman's (my fiancé after 8 plus years) family is very responsible, and hard working. They had debts, and her father hard a hard time supporting the family, even though he is intelligent, very responsible, and very hard working. So, I asked them what their dream was. He said they wanted to build a mini mart, on the land they owned, in their village, on the main road. I thought it made sense. I asked him to come up with a business plan. He did. Sort of. He came up with design plans, and a budget, and an approximate estimate of construction costs, and what it would take to equip the store. It came to 700,000 baht. I gave them the money. I realized it was a risk. I had already been with my woman for two years, and she is a really great gal. Smart, funny, beautiful, young, has a huge heart, and a lot of soul. So, I bit the bullet. It was the best thing I could have done. They have made a great success of the market, and have since expanded into agricultural supplies and equipment. They have been self supporting ever since.

Do as Bond would do. Be a man. Man up. Show some spine, courage, conviction, and fortitude. Make us proud. But take your time.

[TerryLH]

"...that I am supposed to buy according to Thai custom"

What are these other things - according to Thai custom?

Depending on the girls situation, it will probably be difficult to impossible for her to get a home loan.

OP, what's wrong with where the mom and kid live now?

"Initially for her mother and son to live in but it would be ours to use at a later date."

Glad to see you still have a sense of humor.

[Mudcrab]

Buy before marriage and the mortgage or usufruct will give some protection. After marriage, and if there is a divorce, anything accrued during the marriage is split 50/50 according to Thai law.

[xenophon]

1 million baht for a house? In her home province, I presume. Does she say 'house' or 'hout'? If she says 1 million for a 'hout' near her family, rethink everything.

[kovaltech]

1. Put your name on the land deed as the person who grants the mortage. ( on the back side )

Buy land after the marriage.

2. Register it at the land office.

3. Make a contract of repayment with an max annual interest rate of 15%, the 15% covers your right of stay.

4. Register this contract.

5. Build the house on your name, put it on her name after the marriage ( in case of divorce 50% is yours )

6. Make a contract that states "in case of divorce the other party have to ... within a time frame of... " to avoid entrainement

7. Also make a contract and register it, stating that you are the sole person who has the rights to live in this house in case of divorce/separation. That she has to leave and not you.

8. future wise. (in case the law changes and farang can be owner himself) Make a contract that states that you already purchased the land and made the full payments...

Generally, any contract, properly registered ( obligated if the term is more then 3 years ) is "hard evidence" in case of court.

Any registering of contracts needs taxes to be payed.

Not registering contracts can be seen as tax fraud.

[Dararasmi]

Lemme see her picture. Until then, I reserve any judgement.

[Wat dee]

Don't forget to buy car too!

[Wat dee]

She needs car too!

[NoshowJones]

Not trying to come off as elitist or anything, but what kind of new house (and land) are you going to be able to get for 1,000,000 Baht?

I agree with the poster above, buy a condo and protect yourself.

Quite easily up country, not a brand new house, (and I think land) but a young English teacher I worked with bought a house in Nakhon Sawan for 600.000 Baht, has two bedrooms, living room kitchen and toilet.

[oneday]

Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)?

No, go the 25 year loan route.

Paying cash puts her in charge, paying on credit puts you in charge.

You can pay the loan off whenever you like, but it usually isn't a good idea.

Read the Sandman thread "I built her a house and now it's finished, we no longer have sex"

This is incorrect. His name can be on the house in theory, but he cannot own the land and this is what makes it dicey. His name can never be on the Chanote and that is where the power is in ownership of the house.

OP, get receipts for everything you buy and keep them.

Since the wife would own the land she could effectively kick him off her property at a later point in time. He might be able to draw up a 30 year lease with his wife for say 1 baht/mo for some protection and there may be other things he can do which could be explored through a lawyer...if you can find a good lawyer.

To the OP, when the girl asks for a house then that is when my radar goes up big time. I am building a house for my GF, but I offered, she never asked and it will be hers and her family's, not mine so I'm not invested...it's a straight up gift.

Also, OP, what you pay in a marriage is "sin sot" and how much you pay varies greatly on different things. Most girls don't warrant 1m baht so you would probably be giving more in buying this house.

How long have you known this girl and what is her background? If she came from a bar environment then I'd say you are in trouble.

Edited June 28, 2014 by oneday

[soalbundy]

If you really want to go that route get an '"ohn sit chai ti din'" on the deeds,costs about 200 Baht,it's basically a transference of USE of the land,legally it's almost like ownership,she can't kick you out,she can't sell it without your permission,she can't borrow money on it,she ca't even plant a tree without your say so. I did this many years ago on a house in Chiang Mai, the wife must agree to it of course, it was done at the land office when registering the house. After we split up ( without a divorce ) she tried to get a one million Baht loan on the house thinking she could just walk off with the money and let the money lender take the house, nobody was interested, as soon as they saw the ohn sit chai ti din on the chanot they backed off.

[merlen10002]

Run very fast and don't look back, you have the wrong lady.

[renaissanc]

When I read your thread, the alarm bells started ringing. Get married first, if you love her. Rent a place first. Buy later when you think you are happy together. Remember that the house won't be yours and that you can be kicked out at any time.

Think very carefully before you buy the house. If you say "no", and she throws a fit, then you will know that you've chosen the wrong woman.

[y2k]

I would have thought by now with the internet being so mainstream and Thai ladies reputation proceeding them that posts like this would start to dry up. Seems not.

Be kind I'm new here.

He is being kind. You won't get better advice if you offered to pay for it.

It seems if you need to ask this question you're having trouble seeing the forest from the tress & then by the time the thread is through, you would have gone ahead and purchased the house anyway. It wont make a difference what advice you get from here, you are cooked already.

Another thing you could ask yourself is; if a girl in your country requested the same thing, what would you think and do?

I wouldn't but then the cultures are so different. There are aspects of Thai culture I warm to and personality traits that make me want to stay and never go home. If she has a way of asking for things that differ from what I am used to at home then I can live with that. Burping in public and clearing her throat in the bathroom and tipping more than I would are all attributes that are different but acceptable.

This analogy has been used before in this thread so I am replying to yours not to be direct to your reference but in a general way. No offence intended.

[elzach]

OP, before you thought about anything else, did you type that little word "divorce" in the Search box on the upper right hand corner?? Do it man, don't be afraid, many entertaining stories will come up.

[jimbeam1]

Is it actually possible to buy a house with two names one being non-Thai (me)?

It doesn't matter about the house. The house can be in you or your G/F's name. What matters is the Canute (Land Deed) and no it can't be in your name. But you can have a 30 year lease put on the land which makes it less sellable.

Registering a 30 year lease against a Chanotte doesn't make it any less saleable as long as the lease holder agrees to the sale.

Or disagrees and the land owner just forges his signature to cancel the lease and promptly sells it on to the bank. As was said - where there's a will there's a way.

And that does happen

jb1

[Lancelot]

Guys would never dream of buying their girl friend a house -in the GF's name- back home seem eager to do that in Thailand.

A fool and his money...