The Most Boring Man in Bangkok

[deknoiJT]

I was in the lower Sukhumvit area last week and stopped in at a well known bar for a drink.

 

I grabbed myself a table outside where my partner would see me and ordered a Pint while waiting.  I was enjoying watching the nuances of soi life pass me by when after a few minutes a middle aged farang gentleman came over and sat himself down. He didn’t ask me, nor did I offer him a seat.

 

From his accent and conversation he sounded German, but spoke to me in English.

 

He was wearing a long sleeve white buttoned shirt that had weeks of old food stains down its front. Long pants with the zipper undone, and dark brown leather sandals. He was unshaven with generous clumps of nostril hair protruding half way to his upper lip. As he became animated in conversation, he leant over the table, and from 2 feet away his breath wafted into my face like the scent of an open sewer.

 

From the moment he sat down he started talking and he barely stopped. It was one continuous mind numbing monologue. Drunken drivel of the highest boring barometer magnitude. Sometimes he would bang the table with his fists but even the theatrics could not improve what came from his mouth.

 

While he droned on I downed my first pint ordered another.  The German ordered one also and when the waitress returned she went to put the drink on my bill. 

I laughed and said ‘No.  I don’t know this man. He just sat down and started talking.  I’m not paying for any of his drinks.’

The waitress looked at Franz who had already taken a long pull of his pint, froth spitting from his mouth as he continued talking.  The waitress looked hesitant about removing his drink from my bill but I insisted.  I wasn’t paying for this exceptional bore.

 

When my partner turned up it had been 45 minutes since the German sat down and began his relentless monologue.  The entire time I said not a word to the man. 

[robblok]

That is Germans for you boring people, Brits are much more fun and clean and proper. But are you sure he was German him expecting the pint on your bill sound Scottish to me. And what nationality are you.. Dutch because you want split bills ?

 

Sorry just countering nonsense with nonsense.

[Thaiberius]

Doesn't this apply to just about every farang you meet on Sukhumvit? If he becomes particularly boring I generally say something along the lines of "I don't mean to cause you offence but I've come out for a quiet drink and to relax. You are stopping me do this. Could you please move to another table." They generally do but if they are persistent I just get up and sit somewhere else. I make a point of avoiding farangs no matter where I am in Thailand - Just boring, self-obsessed people.  

[GarryP]

Doesn't this apply to just about every farang you meet on Sukhumvit? If he becomes particularly boring I generally say something along the lines of "I don't mean to cause you offence but I've come out for a quiet drink and to relax. You are stopping me do this. Could you please move to another table." They generally do but if they are persistent I just get up and sit somewhere else. I make a point of avoiding farangs no matter where I am in Thailand - Just boring, self-obsessed people.  

Oh dear!!!

[topt]

Doesn't this apply to just about every farang you meet on Sukhumvit? If he becomes particularly boring I generally say something along the lines of "I don't mean to cause you offence but I've come out for a quiet drink and to relax. You are stopping me do this. Could you please move to another table." They generally do but if they are persistent I just get up and sit somewhere else. I make a point of avoiding farangs no matter where I am in Thailand - Just boring, self-obsessed people.

Oh dear!!!

+1

[arthurwait]

 You were drunk. It's called a mirror.

[thehelmsman]

 You were drunk. It's called a mirror.

 

Then separate tabs was a good idea.
 

[KarenBravo]

Why didn't you just ask him to leave?

[Loptr]

When you travel to the Serengeti, you expect to see wild animals... Lower Sukhumvit, what did you expect?

[David48]

"with generous clumps of nostril hair protruding half way to his upper lip." ... 

 

Some people can paint a image with their words.

 

OP ... you excel ...  

[trainman34014]

Another interesting load of nothing about life in the expat community !

[wamberal]

  Who drinks beer in pints in Bangkok? 

[mantu]

OP should stop wearing socks and sandals...they are a magnet for these types

[Beetlejuice]

Last week at the Red Lion restaurant in Chiang Mai, an American gentleman had just finished his meal on the next table, got up, looked at me, smiled and said; Hi, it sure is a nice sunny day out there, now you have a nice day and then he walked out.

I thought the audacity of the man, smiling, being friendly and wishing me a nice day. His hospitable attitude filled me with repulsion and discussed, because it mean`t I had to acknowledge that he existed.  I think the Immigration department should deport these people and ban them from Thailand for life.

 

[KarenBravo]

Last week at the Red Lion restaurant in Chiang Mai, an American gentleman had just finished his meal on the next table, got up, looked at me, smiled and said; Hi, it sure is a nice sunny day out there, now you have a nice day and then he walked out.

I thought the audacity of the man, smiling, being friendly and wishing me a nice day. His hospitable attitude filled me with repulsion and discussed, because it mean`t I had to acknowledge that he existed.  I think the Immigration department should deport these people and ban them from Thailand for life.

 

 

A little bit different than sitting at your table uninvited and proceeding to talk at you for 45 minutes and the assumption you'll pay for his beer.

[chrisinth]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

That is Germans for you boring people, Brits are much more fun and clean and proper. But are you sure he was German him expecting the pint on your bill sound Scottish to me. And what nationality are you.. Dutch because you want split bills ?

 

Sorry just countering nonsense with nonsense.

 

If he didn't have a straw, I doubt he would be a jock. Easy to confuse the accents though.

 

[JoeThePoster]

I always keep my fly open for airing the junk. Learnt that in the Luftwaffe.

[chrisinth]

OP, seriously, I wouldn't call someone like that boring.

 

I do have a lot of descriptive names I would call him, but boring wouldn't be one of them....................

[planemad]

Oh dear, some people just dont understand humour....Karen!

[weegee]

Last week at the Red Lion restaurant in Chiang Mai, an American gentleman had just finished his meal on the next table, got up, looked at me, smiled and said; Hi, it sure is a nice sunny day out there, now you have a nice day and then he walked out.

I thought the audacity of the man, smiling, being friendly and wishing me a nice day. His hospitable attitude filled me with repulsion and discussed, because it mean`t I had to acknowledge that he existed.  I think the Immigration department should deport these people and ban them from Thailand for life.

 

Maybe this is the man in Lotus, that "Costas" was looking for....lol

[KarenBravo]

Oh dear, some people just dont understand humour....Karen!

 

Oh, I understand humour, even if it is the weak, diluted kind, but, for it to work, it has to compare like to like, otherwise the parody falls flat on it's face (as it did).

[arthurwait]

 

 You were drunk. It's called a mirror.

 

Then separate tabs was a good idea.
 

 

 

 He does the same at the hospital.

[WitawatWatawit]

^^^ No it didn't. Even though it was sarcasm, it worked for me. But then my name isn't Steve "Interesting" Davis. Edited July 29, 2014 by WitawatWatawit

[Beetlejuice]

It is very easy.

 

All the OP had to do was say to the man; sorry I am expecting some friends to arrive at any moment and politely ask the gentleman to leave the table. Tactful and no hard feelings.

[deknoiJT]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

That is Germans for you boring people, Brits are much more fun and clean and proper. But are you sure he was German him expecting the pint on your bill sound Scottish to me. And what nationality are you.. Dutch because you want split bills ?

 

Sorry just countering nonsense with nonsense.

 

My apologies, I did not realise you were German and i meant no offense to your countrymen.  He sounded German, but might not have been. I feel sure you are not as dull as you come across on here and certainly no one could be as boring as this man in person

 

 You were drunk. It's called a mirror.

 

My dear man, it sounds like you are projecting yourself.

 

I was sipping my first pint of beer for the day when he sat down. Not being a big drinker, that was my first pint for at least ten days. 

[Brit_Doggie]

Sigh of relief has he moved from pattaya to bangkok my goodness,time for celebration and maybe and only maybe i might even ring the bell.

Moral being is that i meet his kind almost daily so routine as normal.

[thehelmsman]

I always keep my fly open for airing the junk. Learnt that in the Luftwaffe.

 

What's the strategy behind the long nose hairs??
 

[deknoiJT]

 

Last week at the Red Lion restaurant in Chiang Mai, an American gentleman had just finished his meal on the next table, got up, looked at me, smiled and said; Hi, it sure is a nice sunny day out there, now you have a nice day and then he walked out.

I thought the audacity of the man, smiling, being friendly and wishing me a nice day. His hospitable attitude filled me with repulsion and discussed, because it mean`t I had to acknowledge that he existed.  I think the Immigration department should deport these people and ban them from Thailand for life.

 

 

A little bit different than sitting at your table uninvited and proceeding to talk at you for 45 minutes and the assumption you'll pay for his beer.

 

 

Thank you karenbravo. It is not the first time i have had people sit at my table uninvited. I find that if they do not ask me if they can sit down they will inevitaby be self serving and narcissistic.  If ignored they will generally leave within a couple of minutes.

I have asked people to leave before and some take offence to teh request. I wasn't in the mood for a verbal stoush so I sat and waited.

 

After 5 minutes his monotones became background noise and I tuned him out. Despite not a word from myself to him he continued his monologue unabated

 

 

[arthurwait]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

That is Germans for you boring people, Brits are much more fun and clean and proper. But are you sure he was German him expecting the pint on your bill sound Scottish to me. And what nationality are you.. Dutch because you want split bills ?

 

Sorry just countering nonsense with nonsense.

 

My apologies, I did not realise you were German and i meant no offense to your countrymen.  He sounded German, but might not have been. I feel sure you are not as dull as you come across on here and certainly no one could be as boring as this man in person

 

 You were drunk. It's called a mirror.

 

My dear man, it sounds like you are projecting yourself.

 

I was sipping my first pint of beer for the day when he sat down. Not being a big drinker, that was my first pint for at least ten days. 

 

 

 I thought you were a 'big' everything.

 

Did the chair survive ?

[deknoiJT]

It is very easy.

 

All the OP had to do was say to the man; sorry I am expecting some friends to arrive at any moment and politely ask the gentleman to leave the table. Tactful and no hard feelings.

 

Sometimes that works in bars, sometimes it doesn't.  It is difficult to reason with a self absorbed drunk.

 

I wasn't any ruder to him than he was to me.  He was the one who sat down uninvited and proceeded to ramble on with the most inane and uninteresting conversation.  I didn't even offer a word to him as I was sure he would move on after a few minutes.

 

I have no hard feelings towards the man at all.