Wai, how to make an apologie

[Crypt36]

I want to make an apologie to a woman working at a real estate office, they rent condo's fron 12-20k a month if that has anything to do with it. I have no idea about social status, I assume I have a higher income.

Nothing really serious happened, I passed up on an appointment.

So I will have a small gift with me in a plastic bag, I have understood this is not a problem, I hang it over my right thumb and wai as properly as possible.

But what do I do? Fingers to my chin? Bow? Do I look to the ground or in her eyes?

Any experts on this highly confusing topic?

[Seastallion]

David...where's your video?

[krisb]

She don't give 2 craps about your gift mate.

She's a salesperson, she wants the sale.

Tell her you had another appointment with another agent who was late, and make this one earn her money.

Turning up with a gift....keep it.

[Tuxedo]

[Tuxedo]

You can do the same way the right person do.

[Crypt36]

Perhaps important, I'm most probably not waiing to the owner himself who I passed up but to one of his female employees whon basically I didn't "insult" personally.

Someone told me to do it the same way the cashiers at carefour wai me...

[krisb]

Perhaps important, I'm most probably not waiing to the owner himself who I passed up but to one of his female employees whon basically I didn't "insult" personally.

Someone told me to do it the same way the cashiers at carefour wai me...

More of a Tesco I'd say.

With a little Big C, but the telly section, not the hair care section.

[ukrules]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

[howerde]

Missing appointments for estate agents/ sales is common in every country, even more so in Thailand, she will have forgotten already, no gift is necessary, no need to wai, the social aspects of thai culture are for Thais as a foreigner you are excused it. either make another appoitment or just forget it.

[joshuatdixon]

I think if there is actually a need to apologize to set this right, the effort will come across as the apology. No need to worry about the wai being performed properly as I am assuming you are not communicating in Thai in the first place, right?

[kurnell]

I believe a one handed wai is the correct procedure for an apology to a sales person. Thumb on the tip of the nose and wiggling of the fingers, tongue out

[Neeranam]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

Don't listen to this crap. Learn the language, culture, waiing, etc and integrate.

Thais are not big on making amends. It has to do with many believing that once bad karma has been made, there is nothing they can do to change it.

Ukrules - would you expect all the immigrants in the UK to learn the language and learn how we do things?

[mrtoad]

OP you need to get down on the floor and prostrate yourself, otherwise you might end up buried in one of her properties.

is she hot?

[Neeranam]

I know one guy through my kids' school who has been here 10 years or so and didn't even know how to wai the school head. He is English.

[nanapong]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

Don't listen to this crap. Learn the language, culture, waiing, etc and integrate.

Thais are not big on making amends. It has to do with many believing that once bad karma has been made, there is nothing they can do to change it.

Ukrules - would you expect all the immigrants in the UK to learn the language and learn how we do things?

But there is a difference. Virtually all the immigrants in the UK for there for the freebies. Social security , housing , education , child care , health care and the list goes on .... It would be fair to expect these scrounging pond life to learn English. I don't see any of those benefits being available for farangs in Thailand. Strange how every single Thai laughs out loud when i ask their opinion about the farangs who act like Thais. The OP should just forget it and not make himself look a prat. The art of chivalry doesn't work very well here.

[losworld]

get a grip... would you do the same in your country?

[ggt]

Why Wai?....You seem a bit naïve...

[dotpoom]

Good manners is always to be encouraged and applauded. Most of us would appreciate an apology when someone fails to show and doesn't even have the manners to call and let us know they can't make it.. It's like saying that their time is important to them but mine is not to me.

But...what is wrong with a good old fashioned "I'm sorry" (and mean it) ....forget about the frills....we can overdo things too.

[csabo]

I think you owe me an apology for posting this topic. In my country it is customary for the person at fault to clean the other persons bathroom. What time can I expect you??

[thaibeachlovers]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

Don't listen to this crap. Learn the language, culture, waiing, etc and integrate.

Thais are not big on making amends. It has to do with many believing that once bad karma has been made, there is nothing they can do to change it.

Ukrules - would you expect all the immigrants in the UK to learn the language and learn how we do things?

So I'm supposed to spend countless hours learning the language just so I can apologise to a Thai

[Tingtau]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

No, he's not a Thai...but just as I would appreciate any foreigner's efforts to learn and attempt to follow my country's customs, so do I think any Thai would likewise appreciate the effort. You do take your shoes off before entering a Thai household, don't you? If I follow your reasoning, and I am correct in assuming that you're not a Thai, why bother!! It would take a small person to ridicule such genuine effort to respect the customs of the people in whose country you are a guest.

On the other hand, I don't think he need bother with any gift....giving a sincere 'wai' (stand to be corrected, but fingers just slightly above the nose, would be sufficient, I think) with a few repeated "sorry"s would be accepted by most people on a first such transgression.

By the way....I love the name....UKRULES....in the UK, that very well might and should be the case...i..e. one lives by UK rules. But here, in Thailand THAIRULES....one should live by Thai rules, don't you think?

[Tingtau]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

Don't listen to this crap. Learn the language, culture, waiing, etc and integrate.

Thais are not big on making amends. It has to do with many believing that once bad karma has been made, there is nothing they can do to change it.

Ukrules - would you expect all the immigrants in the UK to learn the language and learn how we do things?

But there is a difference. Virtually all the immigrants in the UK for there for the freebies. Social security , housing , education , child care , health care and the list goes on .... It would be fair to expect these scrounging pond life to learn English. I don't see any of those benefits being available for farangs in Thailand. Strange how every single Thai laughs out loud when i ask their opinion about the farangs who act like Thais. The OP should just forget it and not make himself look a prat. The art of chivalry doesn't work very well here.

[trainman34014]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

No, he's not a Thai...but just as I would appreciate any foreigner's efforts to learn and attempt to follow my country's customs, so do I think any Thai would likewise appreciate the effort. You do take your shoes off before entering a Thai household, don't you? If I follow your reasoning, and I am correct in assuming that you're not a Thai, why bother!! It would take a small person to ridicule such genuine effort to respect the customs of the people in whose country you are a guest.

On the other hand, I don't think he need bother with any gift....giving a sincere 'wai' (stand to be corrected, but fingers just slightly above the nose, would be sufficient, I think) with a few repeated "sorry"s would be accepted by most people on a first such transgression.

By the way....I love the name....UKRULES....in the UK, that very well might and should be the case...i..e. one lives by UK rules. But here, in Thailand THAIRULES....one should live by Thai rules, don't you think?

Thai rules...what a laugh. They are perhaps the biggest rule breakers i have ever known !

[shaurene]

Well Crypte, that was a waste of time I just read the rubbish bin stuff from the don't know all's. They must have so much time to waste.

[Tingtau]

Crypt36...not sure if you got a detailed answer from anyone. I'm not Thai..been here only a short time (a little over 3 years), don't pretend to fully understand all the customs either, and, unfortunately have yet to develop anything more than a, perhaps slightly more than, rudimentary ability to converse in Thai. That isn't for any lack of desire though!! I do have a fully satisfactory relationship with a very nice Thai lady who has given me, I hope, some good advice re manners. I commend you on your wish to "do the right thing" and for having the good manners to realize that your failure to make an appointment is a slight, but one easily corrected so long as it isn't repeated. Personally, I wouldn't bother with a gift, although that is up to you, especially if the Thai lady is someone that you might be thinking of asking out to dinner or some such at a later time. My opinion? I would think that a simple wai....as shown in the picture someone provided, fingers just above the nose, possibly just below or at eye level as you nod the head respectfully , eyes downcast..........and a couple of "sorry"s, should be just fine! Good luck!

[shaurene]

Hi Crypte, I just asked my wife and she said to see her and Wai and say how sorry you are but you had to do something that could not wait, that is all.

[monk213]

No gift, genuine smile and say 'kor taught na krup' and continue with the daily business you intend to venture into

[Tingtau]

Just say 'sorry I didn't make the appointment'.

You're not Thai so don't bother acting like one.

No, he's not a Thai...but just as I would appreciate any foreigner's efforts to learn and attempt to follow my country's customs, so do I think any Thai would likewise appreciate the effort. You do take your shoes off before entering a Thai household, don't you? If I follow your reasoning, and I am correct in assuming that you're not a Thai, why bother!! It would take a small person to ridicule such genuine effort to respect the customs of the people in whose country you are a guest.

On the other hand, I don't think he need bother with any gift....giving a sincere 'wai' (stand to be corrected, but fingers just slightly above the nose, would be sufficient, I think) with a few repeated "sorry"s would be accepted by most people on a first such transgression.

By the way....I love the name....UKRULES....in the UK, that very well might and should be the case...i..e. one lives by UK rules. But here, in Thailand THAIRULES....one should live by Thai rules, don't you think?

Thai rules...what a laugh. They are perhaps the biggest rule breakers i have ever known !

Are they now!! I am so impressed with your respect for your Thai hosts, NOT! With all due respect, I fear that it is attitudes such as yours that cause a lot of the problems between the Thai native and any like-minded falang! Yes, Thailand has their touts, the "bottom feeders" but surely you jest when you attempt to pass the Thai people as a whole as "perhaps the biggest rule...........ever known!" If not, then I'm afraid that you are either, moving in an entirely different circle than I or you led a very sheltered life prior to coming to Thailand!

[Tingtau]

Hi Crypte, I just asked my wife and she said to see her and Wai and say how sorry you are but you had to do something that could not wait, that is all.

Exactly!!

[Sirbergan]

When you see her again, she will wai you. You can then wai her back and say "I'm sorry I missed our appointment, I got held up". No need to over-think it.

Not sure why you'd feel the need to wai her and buy her gifts, you missed an appointment with someone who wants your business. As such, she will always be the one to wai you, not the other way around.

Some foreigners go around waing everyone they see (including the local drunk and the soi dog), but that's completely unnecessary.