Why do heavy drinkers insist you drink along?

[12DrinkMore]

Maybe they're trying to persuade themselves that they're having fun?

scribbled the self styled oracle of Thailand in its usual smug style

Guess the comment must have touched a nerve, eh?

[maximillian]

Even as a teenager my own brothers and other family members asked me to drink beer or wine or harder stuff with them.

When I declined, and I always did, they made remarks like: "You're not a man." or "What sort of man are you ?".

The same for not smoking.

Guess it saved me from a lot of $$$ and trouble not to drink and not to smoke for the last 50 plus years.

Recently a widow of a friend who died about four years ago, visited us with a big plastc bag full of large Chang bottles.

She expected me to drink with her. Before she left by car, she had finished about six of them but was still talking and walking straight.

[NoshowJones]

First of all drinking every day is not heavy drinking...in most of Europe people drink every day. A glass of wine or beer to the dinner isn't heavy drinking. Heavy drinking is when you drink huge amounts.

And as long as you aren't addicted, some more from time to time is no problem.

But considering your next posting you friends are in the heavy drinking.

"Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you.""

With a sentence like this, this person wouldn't be a friend of mine anymore. I know when I start drinking I can't stop it (or at least not easily) and I had a lot friends that pushed.

But really no one in such an aggressive way. More in a whining "I want a drinking mate" way.

H90, I usually agree with your posts, and you have been a great help to me, but I have to say that if a person drinks alcohol every day, then he has a problem, if he hasn't, then it should be easy for him to miss out one or two days a week, but I do agree with your second and third sentence about heavy drinking.

[spidermike007]

If they are not good enough friends for you to be able to say, you know I am not much of a drinker, or I do not feel like drinking today, or beer makes me bloated, or no thanks, then maybe you need to find some decent people to hang out with. I do know alot of guys who cannot imagine a day without alcohol, and for me there is nothing more boring, or less healthy in the world than drinking daily. So, by now my friends know I do not drink much. Some call me a lightweight, some call me American, some just do not understand, and most are completely cool with my choice. But, if they think peer pressure is enough to make me change my ways, they realize very quickly that it is not going to work. So, either they learn to live with the fact that I do not drink much, or we just do not hang out. I have a few friends that like to have a few beers with their meals, and they understand when I order soda or water. If they do not understand, they do not have the honor of my company. A plain and simple formula. Frankly, I find most guys who feel a compelling need to drink every day to be a bit boring anyway.

[spidermike007]

Even as a teenager my own brothers and other family members asked me to drink beer or wine or harder stuff with them.

When I declined, and I always did, they made remarks like: "You're not a man." or "What sort of man are you ?".

The same for not smoking.

Guess it saved me from a lot of $$$ and trouble not to drink and not to smoke for the last 50 plus years.

Recently a widow of a friend who died about four years ago, visited us with a big plastc bag full of large Chang bottles.

She expected me to drink with her. Before she left by car, she had finished about six of them but was still talking and walking straight.

I am enough of a man to not have the need to alter my consciousness all the time. My reply would have been: "I am the sort of man who is comfortable in his own skin, enjoys his life, enjoys his sobriety, and if I gave a rats ass what you thought of me, I might be offended, but since I don't, i am not". Whether of not you think I am a man means so little to me, that it is not even worth a discussion. That is the sort of man I am!

[NoshowJones]

A lot of heavy drinkers feel lonely that is why they are looking for drinking mates, that can keep up. I know I did. I could never understand a person who would come into the bar have 2 drinks & go home. I was a violent drunk and unpredictable, I could be singing " Moon River" at midnight and been smashing a chair over your head 5 minutes later. At the end of my drinking I couldn't find anyone to drink with and "WONDER WHY"

I have had freedom from Alcohol since August 1980, thanks to AA. So please don't come on TV and tell me it don't work.

Aggressive drunks are the worst, real dangerous people as they are drunk so no inhibitions and don't think about the consequences of their actions.

Correct, I had no fear of anyone when I was drunk, sober I am a different person. To the point I have had some people say "I cant believe you are an Alcoholic" but then they have never seen me drunk.

I have almost never been in fights (years and years ago 20 maybe) but aggressive drunks and stupid people scare me a lot. The fights I have been in I have always been careful not to do too much damage to the other person (and of course not getting beat up myself). But being in a fight with someone who would take a knife and go for the kill or club you to death is scary.

If I was in a fight, I would need to have been either threatened with violence or attacked, and I always tried to cause as much damage to them as possible. I was never a good fighter, so I had to do something quick to save my own skin, and the very few times it has happened. it has always worked even if I had to use a weapon, but never a knife.

[Tony125]

Why do the do it? Cuz their drunk!

[macpayne]

Yes ive lost otherwise good friends because of this very problem, I'm not exactly a tea total-er and enjoy a nice glass of beer or 2 but drinking one glass after the other until the room is spinning is not my idea of enjoyment, so has polite has i can i decline to keep up with there drinking capacity,too which i was getting all those insults quoted above, So now I distance myself from there company and keep myself to myself, better that way at least for me.

[Wat dee]

Sober people are boring!

[macpayne]

Yes so are drunk ones.

[larsjohnsson]

If you can't go out to any gathering/function without needing an alcoholic drink, you have a problem. If you can't go out to any gathering/function without your 'friends' berating you for drinking a non-alcoholic drink, they have a problem.

The OP is not the one with the problem.

Yes the OP also have a problem. He can't even spend some time with his friends without asking in a public forum. If they where his real friends he could discuss it with them, instead of asking thousends of unknown people

[Strangebrew]

Because if your sober you would get up and leave the <deleted>.

[Docno]

The brilliant Jim Jeffries provides the answer here:

[Greg Nixon]

Misery likes company.

[Greg Nixon]

The brilliant Jim Jeffries provides the answer here:

Another rude foreigner masquerading as comedy. He is uncouth, rude and without any redeeming qualities. You call that comedy ?

[Greg Nixon]

If they are not good enough friends for you to be able to say, you know I am not much of a drinker, or I do not feel like drinking today, or beer makes me bloated, or no thanks, then maybe you need to find some decent people to hang out with. I do know alot of guys who cannot imagine a day without alcohol, and for me there is nothing more boring, or less healthy in the world than drinking daily. So, by now my friends know I do not drink much. Some call me a lightweight, some call me American, some just do not understand, and most are completely cool with my choice. But, if they think peer pressure is enough to make me change my ways, they realize very quickly that it is not going to work. So, either they learn to live with the fact that I do not drink much, or we just do not hang out. I have a few friends that like to have a few beers with their meals, and they understand when I order soda or water. If they do not understand, they do not have the honor of my company. A plain and simple formula. Frankly, I find most guys who feel a compelling need to drink every day to be a bit boring anyway.

Agreed. Have you ever had an intelligent discussion with a drunk ? They keep repeating over and over the same thing as if to convince themselves.

[Rockhopper]

They want to drag you down to their level; join them in a game of handball against the curb.

[slipperylobster]

Worst place to find a friend....the bar. Go to the gym or almost any other activity, and you will find decent people who do not need you to get drunk with them. Simple.

[slipperylobster]

A bit off topic...but I have noticed the preponderance of alcoholics here (farang type) are UK. It is actually endemic.

[rascalman]

They want to you go with them down their pathetic dark hole! I know!

[rascalman]

They want to you go with them down their pathetic dark hole! I know!

[ttthailand]

Out the other night for a few beers with a friend. He was putting down 3 to my 2 and complaining about how slow I was drinking.... Until he realized that we were splitting the bill. Go figure .....

[Sheryl]

I find that people who feel compelled to try to get others to make the same choices as themselves, or to hold the same beliefs, are people who are at heart not comfortable with their own choices or doubtful of their own beliefs.

[spidermike007]

If they are buying i'll join em lol,but then it doesnt happen does it,i guess you could say they were trying to be sociable.

Which seems to offend you,each to their own so to speak.

Them getting angry with me for no good reason other than saying no thanks is not my idea of being sociable, it feels more like them being bullying.

e.g.

Friend : "Here, have a beer."

Me : "No thanks, I'm driving. / I have things to do later / I have to work later."

Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you."

Me : "No thanks."

Friend : "Have a f***ing beer, you puff."

Me : "No thanks."

and on and on, demanding I drink up to 10 or 20 times.

So, I don't really understand your post.

There must be an underlying reason which makes them angry by my not drinking.

Think about it. Did that guy contribute one useful bit of knowledge, wisdom, or even humor to your life that day? If all he has to say is:

Friend : "Here, have a beer."

Me : "No thanks, I'm driving. / I have things to do later / I have to work later."

Friend : "What's f***ing wrong with you. Get it down you."

Me : "No thanks."

Friend : "Have a f***ing beer, you puff."

Me : "No thanks."

then he has some issues, is a pretty shallow man, feels pretty poorly about himself, and is not a terribly fascinating individual. So, my question is, why would you want to hang out with a lowlife like this anyway? He sores hella boring. And he sounds like a guy who does not have much of a sense of himself, nor his place in the world. Do we men really need to surround ourselves with small men like this guy? Who is really the puff in that situation? Certainly not the man who is big enough to say no to a beer, or has enough of a life to not want to be drunk during the entire course of it.

[DrTuner]

Sober people are suspicious. Probably spies, cops, or worse, fanatical tee totals. Gotta root them out from the get go.

[ttthailand]

I understand putting down beers quickly if it was your first of the day or you are limited by time and want to get a little drunk before getting up the nerve to do something but at 120 baht a beer why not relax and enjoy it ....

But really, Why do you have to get drunk to enjoy yourself ... Never could figure that out. I drink heavily from time to time but everything is better when sober. Women look better when drunk but the wake up call is something else

[IMA_FARANG]

Those who drink regularly are habituated if not addicted to Alcohol.

They my deny it but it's a fact.

I once was there quite a few years ago, and I know of what I speak.

A habitual drinker gets pleasure from consuming Alcohol, and if he or she thinks you are taking away the pleasure of you drinking with them (It reinforces their pleasure in drinking to have someone else confirm the legitimacy of their drinking) then they will get angry.

The same thing can happen to a smoker who offers you a cigarette but you refuse it.

Fortunately I kicked my drinking habituation back then.

[isawasnake]

I would rather have 10,000 people insist I I drink with them when not in the mood, over even a single person smoking a cigarette around me though.

[ToddinChonburi]

Can you say Alcoholism !!! sure I new you could.

[Apiwan2]

I can understand what the OP us saying .

4 days haven't had a beer.

Can't really say I miss it.

Maybe 4/5 little cans in the evening at home.

Now I just want to have a few beers if I go to a restaurant. Or a party. And no drinking just for the sake of it