Sinsod or Dowry.. why the big deal ?

[otocheater]

1. It is a Thais culture. (Normal for Thais)

2. It will show your stable life.(your back ground)

3. It can be guarantee for your future wife'so family.(make sure you can look after their daughter)

4. It shows how much value of your future wife.(her basic life and job)

5. For the face if your future wife's family rich. (social life)

:-)

And most importantly it shows you're a sucker who can be milked by the leeches in her family.

Is your wife's family are the leeches? Sounds like you known well. I saw a lot of farang leeches in UK and US too.

:-)

[otocheater]

F the sin sot , it's out of date old fashion a waste of my hard earned money, which I could be using for the future . Why Thais think that money grows on trees in western country's is beyond me...

Nobody thought money grows on the tree. How can thai guys get married then?

Most of my Thai friends married Thai guys got minimum 1million baht sin-sod excluded gold and etc.

I dont understand why some farang agaisnt to pay SinSod if they want to marry thai woman and this is a thai culture.

;-)

No, it´s not. Sin sot traces back to Chinese culture.

Most of Thais from South of China. How's different? We had and we did follow this for over thousand years.

If you do not called "cuture" what did you called?

:-)

[BritManToo]

I thought OC had been outed as a 65 year old white American male?

Why is anyone still feeding this obvious troll?

[EyesWideOpen]

Here, this excerpt from wiki can help you determine the correct price

for your lovely new Thai wife... :-) So this pretty much zeroes out

any sin sot for a bar girl...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_price#History

The bride price may range from nothing, if the woman is divorced, has a child

fathered by another man, or is widely known to have had premarital relations with men;

"

Edited December 2, 2014 by EyesWideOpen

[otocheater]

I thought OC had been outed as a 65 year old white American male?

Why is anyone still feeding this obvious troll?

Who is OC?

:-)

[Mr Somtam]

Got married in my country and never lived in Thailand at all the first 18 years...and now only part time. No dowry, but have helped far more than normal.

Same same, married in europe, lived there 13 years, helped family of my wife with some debt and small stuff. No problem really.

[sead]

When paying sin sod you never have to take care of her family again. if you have a girlfriend no matter if she is from bar or whatever you have to give her money so she can take care of herself and family every month. When asked to pay sin sod you are in for a hard time arguing and debating to down the price. Pretend youre in a market Im against sin sod but its every mans choice, and if you really think you cant find another girlfriend in Thailand then i feel sorry for your asses.

[Living in a cartoon]

I have a funny sinsod story.

Got a K2 visa and was married to this girl for like 5 years. She brought up the subject after I told her there was no way I would invest in her dad's low end business. Ended up paying $3000 US to her dad in sinsod. Off we go to the USA!

What did Somchai do with the $3000? Put a down payment on a brand new SUV that he had no hope of paying the installments.

Dad drives that SUV around, I'm sure all the other Somchais thought he was quite the man. Big face!

When the 1st installment came due, guess who was asked to pay?

When we went back to Maha Sarakam a year later, dad was on his 10 year old motorbike.

It was almost worth the $3000 for the laugh.

[thesetat2013]

"little envelopes will make much or all of it back."

in your dreams.....

You laugh but i got double back from those littlr envelopes for my wedding

[anselpixel]

For a million baht, I wouldn't settle for anything less than top shelf. Such dowries exist, but not among ordinary people.

Thais typically pay 50-100K baht, if they pay at all.

[Gerard052]

1. It is a Thais culture. (Normal for Thais)

2. It will show your stable life.(your back ground)

3. It can be guarantee for your future wife's family.(make sure you can look after their daughter)

4. It shows how much value of your future wife.(her basic life and job)

5. For the face if your future wife's family rich. (social life)

:-)

Yes, and it is a ridiculously large chunk of change that you hand over to the woman's parents to purchase their daughter... slavery used to be part of a lot of cultures as well (and apparently still is on some of Thailand's fishing boats), but that doesn't make the argument wash.

About half of the friends I have who paid it have seen the daddy of the family squander it within weeks on booze to impress their mates, gambling, whores, etc. The other half had it given back after the in-laws had gained a bit of face -which is okay, if it is sooo important that everyone think someone's dick is bigger than it actually is. But once again, Thailand's males leech off the country's females.

It is high time Thailand grew up and made the big leap out of the middle ages. Quit high-wai-ing the rich dicks who enslave you in the hopes they will toss you some table scraps like some low-ranking soi dog, stop equating love and money - they really aren't the same thing, drop this ridiculous schoolyard "face" nonsense... it really is childish, and it forces you and everyone you know into spending more than you can afford to keep up with the neighbours. So you have a nation of people who are pretending together, creating an illusion that is a struggle for everyone to maintain.

You are absolutely right, it is time to stop this nonsense.

[HeijoshinCool]

1. It is a Thais culture. (Normal for Thais)

2. It will show your stable life.(your back ground)

3. It can be guarantee for your future wife's family.(make sure you can look after their daughter)

4. It shows how much value of your future wife.(her basic life and job)

5. For the face if your future wife's family rich. (social life)

:-)

.

1. I'm not Thai, and my wife understands that. When she comes to America, I will not expect her to do everything the American way, nor will my family;

2. Twenty-five years of the same job, and the consequent very cozy retirement check shows I'm stable, as well as seven years in Thailand kicking back, along with land and a house and other belongings in the States, as well as further income;

3. I don't want a future with my wife's family. They are lazy and rude. Takers, not givers. I suspect my wife was found on their doorstep;

4. Bringing her to America and spending the rest of my life loving her, would show a reasonably intelligent person how much I "value" my wife. Since they don't pay attention when I speak of how much I love her, want to be sure she is always provided for, giving them money is a worthless gesture. Seems a bit silly, giving them money to show I can provide for her.

5. See number 3.

[Gerard052]

F the sin sot , it's out of date old fashion a waste of my hard earned money, which I could be using for the future . Why Thais think that money grows on trees in western country's is beyond me...

It is not out of date. It may be strange for you, but you can't expect that Thais adapt to your style. Who are you?

Fatfather

To the contrary,he probably is the one with the money,therefore he has the power.Thats thai tradition.When farangs actually start acting like thais in money matters the better off they will be.

What a bunch of crap. What should anybody would like to act like Thais in money matters? They don't know how to save money, they live from day to day.

[Gerard052]

F the sin sot , it's out of date old fashion a waste of my hard earned money, which I could be using for the future . Why Thais think that money grows on trees in western country's is beyond me...

Nobody thought money grows on the tree. How can thai guys get married then?

Most of my Thai friends married Thai guys got minimum 1million baht sin-sod excluded gold and etc.

I dont understand why some farang agaisnt to pay SinSod if they want to marry thai woman and this is a thai culture.

;-)

No, it´s not. Sin sot traces back to Chinese culture.

Most of Thais from South of China. How's different? We had and we did follow this for over thousand years.

If you do not called "cuture" what did you called?

:-)

Bullshit

[forrwhat]

All of my Thai friends (all are well off) say they paid a face saving dowry. In other words they all paid an agreed upon amount at the time of the wedding, it was promptly given back to them the day after. They all said that modern Thai families all realize that it is better to allow your Son or Daughter and your spouse good start in their life instead of burdening them from the beginning of their life together.

Maybe it is better to marry from a good family than a poor one.

So your saying poor people are not good.If sinsod was that easy i would give 10million baht.

No I am saying the expatiations of poor families are to cash in. The middle class understand it is more outdated than necessary.

[pigeonjake]

It's a joy on the Forum that we all have different opinions, different value sets .. very often different experiences.

I consider pigeonjake a mate from the Forum.

On this point, SinSot, we have different views ... doesn't make either of us right or wrong.

Out of 10 things Thai related ... we may disagree on 2 and agree wholeheartedly on 8 others.

Are we still mates ... sure.

It would be a boring 'ole place if we all thought the same about everything.

david my mate,,

you know about me and my wife on here, i never bash thais,

BUT if my wifes father was a hard working man and not half hamock and half man i would give them money i would help them all i could not a problem,

if he wants to sit around i dont have a problem with that too,

just dont expect me to pay for his hamock,

[F4UCorsair]

1. It is a Thais culture. (Normal for Thais)

2. It will show your stable life.(your back ground)

3. It can be guarantee for your future wife'so family.(make sure you can look after their daughter)

4. It shows how much value of your future wife.(her basic life and job)

5. For the face if your future wife's family rich. (social life)

:-)

And most importantly it shows you're a sucker who can be milked by the leeches in her family.

Is your wife's family are the leeches? Sounds like you known well. I saw a lot of farang leeches in UK and US too.

:-)

No, not my wife's family oto, and I would never have permitted it to happen.

I didn't contend that there weren't leeches in the UK or the US, or Australia, or Canada, etc., but the discussion was about sin sot, in this case, specifically a Thai tradition. If you want to quote examples form the US, or UK, etc., I'm sure there are forums on which you can do so, but I like to stay on topic. In anticipation I can dredge through my memories and try to come up with some leech examples from other countries.

Edited December 2, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[forrwhat]

Sin Sot is an example of how marriage in reality is more of a business arrangement than it is about love. This sin sot tradition is a form of psychological intimidation designed to misdirect long enough to get control and get a sin sot payment.

Unless you have children or want the romantic feeling of being able to say “my wife”, marriage (the business arrangement) has been legislated out of being a real positive; legally it is a form of control that weakens the individual.

Westerners actually sign a financial suicide agreement I mean a “marriage license” essentially paving the way for a government to decide how much money it will cost to end the “marriage”. In Thailand the “business arrangement” starts with a form of intimidation by custom and tradition called “sin sot”.

So you pay the Sin sod here. Then you take your new bride back to falang land. If you end in divorce there you are double donged so to speak.

[F4UCorsair]

"little envelopes will make much or all of it back."

in your dreams.....

You laugh but i got double back from those littlr envelopes for my wedding

OK, so if you hadn't paid sin sot, would you have received any less in those 'little envelopes'? I suggest not, so you were still stung!!

[pigeonjake]

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

Paying the sinsod allowed her family to save face and it didn't break my bank account.

Agreeing to the sinsod avoided in-law family conflict from the start which my wife and I didn't need.

My wife and I have lived in the US for the past 4-years (going on 5-years) and we send her mother $10K every 2-weeks as she takes care of my wife's 2-kids from a prior marriage.

There has never been any buffalo stories or sick family members to extort money out of me even though my wife has told me countless times her family has encouraged her to take all my money and run.

Respectively, I trust no one as I am a law enforcement official. I do the family banking and generously purchase what my wife needs. She also has a job so she has her own money and learning to say no to her family (yes she has gotten burnt a few times).

I recommend any farang pursuing marriage to a Thai woman to keep it all in perspective and talk it through with your GF/wife to be--- Don't start out with "NO" but listen to her, remind her you are not the bank, and compromise when available.

this one really makes me laugh,,

100,000 DOLLERS to start with,

then you say you send over 10,000 dollers every 2 weeks, to take care of the 2 children she allready has,,,lol,

then you say there hasnt been any sick buffalo stories,,,,

i should think there f u c k i n g hasnt been,,,,,

[F4UCorsair]

I have a funny sinsod story.

Got a K2 visa and was married to this girl for like 5 years. She brought up the subject after I told her there was no way I would invest in her dad's low end business. Ended up paying $3000 US to her dad in sinsod. Off we go to the USA!

What did Somchai do with the $3000? Put a down payment on a brand new SUV that he had no hope of paying the installments.

Dad drives that SUV around, I'm sure all the other Somchais thought he was quite the man. Big face!

When the 1st installment came due, guess who was asked to pay?

When we went back to Maha Sarakam a year later, dad was on his 10 year old motorbike.

It was almost worth the $3000 for the laugh.

The mentality isn't significantly different from Pacific Islanders. I gave a camera, not terribly expensive, about $100.00, to a house girl when I left Vanuatu many years ago. I visited about a year later, and I was showed the results of the first spool of film, and asked to buy some more. You give something, you take on ownership for the life of the item, and that means maintenance, etc.

[F4UCorsair]

lcp0761, on 02 Dec 2014 - 07:39, said:

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

Paying the sinsod allowed her family to save face and it didn't break my bank account.

Agreeing to the sinsod avoided in-law family conflict from the start which my wife and I didn't need.

My wife and I have lived in the US for the past 4-years (going on 5-years) and we send her mother $10K every 2-weeks as she takes care of my wife's 2-kids from a prior marriage.

There has never been any buffalo stories or sick family members to extort money out of me even though my wife has told me countless times her family has encouraged her to take all my money and run.

Respectively, I trust no one as I am a law enforcement official. I do the family banking and generously purchase what my wife needs. She also has a job so she has her own money and learning to say no to her family (yes she has gotten burnt a few times).

I recommend any farang pursuing marriage to a Thai woman to keep it all in perspective and talk it through with your GF/wife to be--- Don't start out with "NO" but listen to her, remind her you are not the bank, and compromise when available.

lcp0761, you must be a troll quoting those numbers, or a complete nutter!!

$10K every two weeks? That's $260,000 a year!!! That's your after tax income, and presumably you still have a reasonable standard of living. To net that in Australia, you'd need to be earning over $450,000 gross, and that's just to pay the two weekly maintenance on the kids, before you live your self. Who are you........the CEO of the Commonwealth Bank??

Edited December 2, 2014 by F4UCorsair

[transam]

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

Paying the sinsod allowed her family to save face and it didn't break my bank account.

Agreeing to the sinsod avoided in-law family conflict from the start which my wife and I didn't need.

My wife and I have lived in the US for the past 4-years (going on 5-years) and we send her mother $10K every 2-weeks as she takes care of my wife's 2-kids from a prior marriage.

There has never been any buffalo stories or sick family members to extort money out of me even though my wife has told me countless times her family has encouraged her to take all my money and run.

Respectively, I trust no one as I am a law enforcement official. I do the family banking and generously purchase what my wife needs. She also has a job so she has her own money and learning to say no to her family (yes she has gotten burnt a few times).

I recommend any farang pursuing marriage to a Thai woman to keep it all in perspective and talk it through with your GF/wife to be--- Don't start out with "NO" but listen to her, remind her you are not the bank, and compromise when available.

, $100,000.............. ................. ............Crazy.............

[David48]

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

, $100,000.............. ................. ............Crazy.............

A Lot of guys use the '$' when they mean the '฿' ... it sort of looks the same.

.

[transam]

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

, $100,000.............. ................. ............Crazy.............

A Lot of guys use the '$' when they mean the '฿' ... it sort of looks the same.

.

Then they should write "baht", save a lot of laughing my end...........

[Evilbaz]

It's quite easy (and somewhat unique) to spell - B a h t - which is also the plural form

It is also a measure of Thai gold.

So be aware if your BG du joir asks for what you think is only 15c US worth of gold - 5 baht 555!

[Nayet]

My wife is Thai and I am a farang. We had a marriage ceremony in her village for her mother (she wanted to show-off to family/friends) and I gave her mother $100K as it is a Thai custom (like it or not).

My wife and I agreed to $100K and no more. $100K is reasonable and I never saw any of it back.

, $100,000.............. ................. ............Crazy.............

A Lot of guys use the '$' when they mean the '฿' ... it sort of looks the same.

.

Aside from the vertical strikethrough, they look nothing like each other, in my opinion. Bon of a sitch...

[EyesWideOpen]

I thought OC had been outed as a 65 year old white American male?

Why is anyone still feeding this obvious troll?

Haha think you are right. One of his posts had the turn of phrase

" zip your mouth", which no Thai girl in history of Thailand would

use. Always fun to look for these little giveaways. :-)

[thesetat2013]

"little envelopes will make much or all of it back."

in your dreams.....

You laugh but i got double back from those littlr envelopes for my wedding

OK, so if you hadn't paid sin sot, would you have received any less in those 'little envelopes'? I suggest not, so you were still stung!!

Not quite! The family placed my Sinsod under out wedding bed for us to keep. So i just basically made show of sinsod.

[otocheater]

I thought OC had been outed as a 65 year old white American male?

Why is anyone still feeding this obvious troll?

Haha think you are right. One of his posts had the turn of phrase

" zip your mouth", which no Thai girl in history of Thailand would

use. Always fun to look for these little giveaways. :-)

I used this phrase"Zip your mouth" from Thai TV but i made in english version. I dont want to say "shut the F up"

I just talked like men sometimes.

:-)