Wife changed when she got back to the village

[James436]

Some constructive advice needed.

Having arrived here from the UK with my Thai wife for a 40-day holiday mainly for the family to see the little lad now he has grown up.

However things started o go odd with the wife first off she walked out the second day due to me complaining about a photo her friends put up of Facebook without asking me, she took a taxi to Morchit Bus Station BKK and said she wasn’t coming back.

We have been married 3 years and been together some 5 years now.

Spent a small fortune on a coffee shop that failed, moved all the stuff we had bought for the coffee shop and our home, to her family house in the village, including my Honda Steed.

Two years later we are back from the UK having spent another fortune getting her a UK visa to find the bike is a state and all the Coffee shop contents used including the Air Conditioners. The rest my wife sold to her extended family at a give away price.

My problem now is my wife wants to have the responsibility of looking after our 3 year old to the family, while she eats papaya Salad and chats, while my son is running native all over the village.

I am not happy and say so she sees this as a slight against her, as normal and refuses to see the problem, further to this there is nothing to eat for us I cant eat beetles bugs and so on and the family don’t eat bought food it all comes from the forest. My son eats egg and rice every day and I have to go to the next village to get food, and this irritates my wife.

Cut a long story short after 3 weeks in the village with nothing to do but try to stop being conned into fixing the Papas car or spending money I told the wife I was board and that we should go away a few das as they had some festival in the village with full speakers from dawn to dusk.

She flew into a rage and said I did never want to be here and I don’t like the family and the rest.

She then said she would kill me and that she had the support of the family to do so.

Threw all my stuff in a bag and told me to leave and take him with you meaning my son. I really had no choice but to drive the bike from Nakhon Phnon to Udon in the heat of the day. I am now at a resort in Udon writing this with my 3 year old son asking where his Mom is.

I am in shock, I am 65, and to have got into this situation with a small son I just don’t know how this could of happened. What goes with this mentality?

The wife called a few moments ago to say she would let me have the rest of my clothes and suitcase if I let her take my son to stay here in Thailand and I go back to the UK alone. That is NOT an option to see the life he would have he is just a mascot for them to show a white boy with fair hair in the village.

I am at a resort in Udon Thani at the moment I have to sell or store my bike and leave for the UK ASAP. anyone know where i could store a Honda Steed?

Being confused and shocked, what are my options try to fix with the wife as she is adamant she wants to live with her family not me, and also having spent a small fortune with the coffee shop and visa for the UK she keeps talking about me building a house near her family. That has also been the cause of some problems.

[sipi]

If you are serious, take the bike to the Irish Clock pub (or wherever farang hang out nearby, you didn't mention the name of the resort). Get what you can from whoever you can, and get the shit out of there.

If you are serious...

[farang000999]

Leaving for the UK with the boy is not fair to the mother nor the son. It is her son as well. The best you can do is try to work things out the best you can and try to play some kind of role in the boys life.

Your bargaining chip is that you have a monthly pension, yes?

[farang000999]

rent an apartment somewhere in the town center, that is a start.

[Costas2008]

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

[wangsuda]

You will not win. Make that the starting point of your thoughts. Forget about the money. Forget about getting back together. She made her choice. You choice now is to move forward. I wish you luck.

[mesquite]

She threatened to kill you. Leave now.

[berybert]

How could such a situation arise ? Seems to happen regular.

wife 30 or 40 years younger than the husband, money runs out. Wifey has no need of farang daddy with no money as she already has a Thai daddy with no money.

I wouldn't go back to the village if I were you. Didn't she threaten to kill you already ?

[steelepulse]

Cut off the funding and let her enjoy her life of eating grubs and beetles.

[jamesjohnsonthird]

She threatened to kill you. Leave now.

Report the death threat to the embassy.

[Crazy chef 1]

You will not win. Make that the starting point of your thoughts. Forget about the money. Forget about getting back together. She made her choice. You choice now is to move forward. I wish you luck.

unfortunately you are right...

[loppylugs1]

finished,kaput.

If the boy has UK passport try to get him over there just for his future if nothing else. Would be glad to get shut in your case,but then I would never get in your situation

[Rooo]

Moved to Family Forum.

[wangsuda]

I am 65, and to have got into this situation with a small son

Then get out of it.

The wife called a few moments ago to say she would let me have the rest of my clothes and suitcase if I let her take my son to stay here in Thailand and I go back to the UK

Perhaps you should have an intermediary to the swap. Dude, you 62 years older than your son. Plans need to be made for certain future eventualities.

[NanLaew]

...

I am at a resort in Udon Thani at the moment I have to sell or store my bike and leave for the UK ASAP. anyone know where i could store a Honda Steed?

Umm, what about your 3-year old? Where you going to store him then? Or is the bike your only possession in LOS now?

[NanLaew]

Leaving for the UK with the boy is not fair to the mother nor the son. It is her son as well. The best you can do is try to work things out the best you can and try to play some kind of role in the boys life.

Your bargaining chip is that you have a monthly pension, yes?

Even if the poor kid has any sort of passport, there's a possibility of Thai Immigration wanting to see evidence that the mother approves of him departing LOS.

[sipi]

...

I am at a resort in Udon Thani at the moment I have to sell or store my bike and leave for the UK ASAP. anyone know where i could store a Honda Steed?

Umm, what about your 3-year old? Where you going to store him then? Or is the bike your only possession in LOS now?

Hey OP.

Time to do the math..

What is more important, your son or your motorbike?

Up to you..

(If you are desperate, I will buy the bike from you. PM me, then get the hell back to the UK)

Phil

[samuibeachcomber]

Seems to me she is tired of you,having wasted all your money,she now wants out.I feel sorry for your predicament,particularly as you are father to a young boy.Not a lot you can do...but maybe sit back and see her for what she is...a loveless soul....you may have to sacrifice seeing your boy grow up,but at the end of the day and especially as you are 65 i would tend to look after no.1 first.Your boy will be ok and he will be looked after,albeit thai style in some backward village

And what if their threats are serious?something else to consider,good luck..

[h90]

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

forget the flowers, but add a pickup (new)

[samuibeachcomber]

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

are you serious costa?...since when have poor thai ladies ever appreciated flowers?...their usual comment is "what are these,i cannot eat them,i cannot exchange for money" bla bla bla!

[siampolee]

Sadly it would seem as if the O.P is regarded as a walking ATM with the son being used as the ATM card.I presume there is a rather large age gap twixt husband and wife and perhaps the wife finds that her husband may be a trifle to rigid in his lifestyle too, I base that comment on the picture permission concerning Facebook along with the comments about his son running wild..

The possibility of sitting down face to face to solve the problems I fear at this moment in time is lost and indeed I fear that that is never going to happen.

Seems as if the lady wants to stay with her family and not the U.K. It is not going to be an easy road to follow.The suggestion of finding a suitable home nearby may work , however I feel that all is lost and the O.P,. would hard as it will be has got to cut his losses and run while he has the chance.Threats were made possibly in the heat of the moment, however one cannot be too sure.

A sad tale but I fear not a new one either, it takes a lot to start anew in any country and age gaps and fractured family relationships do not make such an adjustment easy for all concerned

[transam]

Sadly it would seem as if the O.P is regarded as a walking ATM with the son being used as the ATM card.I presume there is a rather large age gap twixt husband and wife and perhaps the wife finds that her husband may be a trifle to rigid in his lifestyle too, I base that comment on the picture permission concerning Facebook along with the comments about his son running wild..

The possibility of sitting down face to face to solve the problems I fear at this moment in time is lost and indeed I fear that that is never going to happen.

Seems as if the lady wants to stay with her family and not the U.K. It is not going to be an easy road to follow.The suggestion of finding a suitable home nearby may work , however I feel that all is lost and the O.P,. would hard as it will be has got to cut his losses and run while he has the chance.Threats were made possibly in the heat of the moment, however one cannot be too sure.

A sad tale but I fear not a new one either, it takes a lot to start anew in any country and age gaps and fractured family relationships do not make such an adjustment easy for all concerned

Yep......

[NeverSure]

I can't tell if she feels she's lost face with her friends and family (facebook pics, not helping with the car, not eating the food) or if it's deeper than that. This is just your perspective so far.

I'd go back to the UK and if she's serious she'll stay and if not she'll relent. As for the son I have a friend who was in a similar situation and he agreed to pay the woman monthly support in exchange for full custody of the child in his home country. Her parents and she went for that and he's in America, divorced, and with his child.

I know of two cases where money got full custody, and another where child support (which can be stopped) was a lever to guarantee access to the child.

Good luck.

[NickJ]

Well....I think your wife is one the right track......sad as it sounds but as long as you can get the poor kid outta here. You have a bit of lead time to liquidate some assets or hide some stuff so she doesnt get quite half of everything. Just stay away from anymore working girls for awhile......oh and get a vasectomy so we dont have to worry about next time.

[sipi]

Does the bike have a side-car?

I would prefer a Tuk-tuk, but will settle for an outfit at the right price.

[Crazy chef 1]

sometimes i think males should have the menopause as well...

[transam]

sometimes i think males should have the menopause as well...

We do............

[MaeJoMTB]

If you are serious, take the bike to the Irish Clock pub (or wherever farang hang out nearby, you didn't mention the name of the resort). Get what you can from whoever you can, and get the shit out of there.

If you are serious...

What sipi says.

Leave and don't look back.

Never return to the village under any circumstances.

Return to the UK with your son and stay there.

Don't ever let your son return to Thailand as a child.

Coffee shop, was always gonna fail, they all do, she had no retail experience, none of them have.

Thai village is a nightmare, they all are, inbred country bumpkins stealing from the rich foreign fool.

Lived in two, seem many more, all the same, 95% of foreigner village experience same as yours.

Honda Steed worth 2,000 pounds. Forget it and move on, leave it at the airport, you aren't coming back.

Edited March 28, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[gerry123]

Seems to me the wife had enough of you.

Go back to her, be sincere with her and promise her you will change your attitude towards her.

A good thing also is to get a bunch of nice flowers for her.

Good Luck to you.

sorry COSTAS sometimes your naivety doesn't really help

[angiolo]

65 years old Plenty of cool Thai girls available for you.. Give your son back to his normal life with his mum. Go get a life,you cant make your son happy.