TooPoopedToPop Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Never had that problem whether it be family members or any other Thai person, mind you I try not to go to places with large farang population You nailed it, Sabaidee Mai. Treat Thais with respect and - with very few exceptions - that's the way they will treat you. Farangs are a different breed; many more seem to be arrogant and clueless here in Thailand. Hope you do not forget to wai the taxi drivers and the hookers Different levels of respect for different situations and people. It works... try it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Hill Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I re-iterate my advice, take some time away, especially in Pattaya, see what pops up, your family mnay come running and do the crawl wai' apology or just the family will ignore you and send the wife down to apologize, if that happens, Move and don't go back. Stupid advice It's already patently obvious they think the guy's a sap but you're telling him to play a game of hide & seek in Pattaya to see if they come begging his wallet him to come back??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impulse Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 2 truisms of personal relationships that got hammered home when I lived in China: 1) No attitude will poison a relationship faster or more completely than contempt. 2) 90% of what a person gets from me is non-verbal, in my body language. Regardless of what flowery words come from my mouth, if I have contempt for my neighbors, the relationship will be a toxic one. When I watch expats at work (and on the street), those 2 concepts explain a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TooPoopedToPop Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I re-iterate my advice, take some time away, especially in Pattaya, see what pops up, your family mnay come running and do the crawl wai' apology or just the family will ignore you and send the wife down to apologize, if that happens, Move and don't go back. Stupid advice It's already patently obvious they think the guy's a sap but you're telling him to play a game of hide & seek in Pattaya to see if they come begging his wallet him to come back??? "...they think the guy's a sap..." That's the crux of this topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 All the shizer that you clever dicks rant on about are irrlelevent to the OP He is calling it as he sees it doesn't matter if he is a victim or not He is whinging and ranting cos the natives will not kow tow down to him thats all No. It's disrespectful, plain and simple. You have got to remember, just because we do or do not do something, does not mean that Thais have to do the same, bad manners to us is not neccessary bad manners to them, ie holding a door open for somebody is good manners to us, but how often do you see a Thai person holding a door open for anybody? It is not because they are ignorant, they are a different race to us and think in different ways. We do not have the right to tell them that doing such and such is bad manners, and vice versa. The people the OP is talking about is not showing any disrespect or having bad manners, they are just being themselves, and not holding anything against the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arminbkk Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 What the OP should have done is, the moment he walked outside through the door to greet the visitors, he should have done exactly that: greet them. He should have just said a bit louder than usual "hello", while stepping into his slippers, to get the attention to him, and then walk towards the visitors, say another "sawasdee khrap" with a smile. Now, if then, the visitors still did not acknowledge him (i.e. look in his direction, look at him, smile, say some greeting, even 'wai'), but instead looked away, look down, then it would be disrespectful, or at least unfriendly. Had OP done it that way, he would have gotten the attention of his wife and her sister as well, and they would have had to joined in the greeting so to speak. This thread seems to contain quite some posts that try to suggest that there are different social norms in Thailand, that social manners are different here. Sure a lot of things are different in Thailand, compared to western ways. However, the proper social response to display when greeted is not one of them. It is rude in Thailand to not reciprocate a greeting that is directly given to you, and it should be done with a 'wai', especially the Thai person should 'wai' to the other person, be it Thai or foreigner, even more so if the other person is (much) older. I think most of us will have seen here in Thailand how, when people meet each other, and there are young kids (below 10) with them, how they tell the young kid to greet and wai the older persons. They will say (in Thai) "did you say 'sawasdee khrap' yet, show a 'wai'". Now we can get into the various ways and positions there are to 'wai' a person depending on relative status and all, but...nahh, don't want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithathome Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Actually you need to understand that Thai do not really think we are 'livestock' at all as they are extremely jealous of Westerners. Of course they would never admit that. There are many traits in the Thai people which one realises after being here long enough to suss them out. The trait you should remember when you think they are trying to be smarter than you is....... that they all feel very INSECURE in themselves and in their lives. Thai think they know better than you even if they have hardly left their village! It's all tripe of course but they are brainwashed from birth to believe it. Although I am a relative "noobie" to TL culture I believe you have got it exactly right. I have had (only) a few occasions where I have been dead bang to rights correct but the Thai did not like it (or acknowledge it - or believe it !). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Soutpeel Firstly, a body odour barometer reading? Nationality - whiter the better $$$ Thai language proficiency Education I kid you not! Disagree. I don't have $$$....but then, I'm not old, and $$$ can compensate for that. After 1.5 years in this soi and within 100km of inlaws, and having nothing but positive reactions, I think personality (politeness, especially) is tops. I can imagine bad body odour could trump everything for most people, but conversely I don't think lack of BO is at the top. I'm ostensibly "white" but quite brown. Many Thais are whiter than me in appearance. I put the list like this; Polite. Clean, Empathetic and caring. With those, you can get by easily. Skin colour and appearance (including age), affluence, influence (status), education can all affect the effectiveness of the top 3, but are not necessities. Thai language is a bonus, but does not affect the top 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Lol .....Buffaloes are an intelligent animal, probably more than the average Thai I suggest Maybe those buffaloes should get taught how to drive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konying Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Never had that problem whether it be family members or any other Thai person, mind you I try not to go to places with large farang population You nailed it, Sabaidee Mai.Treat Thais with respect and - with very few exceptions - that's the way they will treat you. Farangs are a different breed; many more seem to be arrogant and clueless here in Thailand. Hope you do not forget to wai the taxi drivers and the hookers Different levels of respect for different situations and people.It works... try it. So you do wai taxi drivers and hookers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Obviously you're pissed of with it and I don't blame you. I would put on that in my rear view. Get your act together and jog on.you only live once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagabond1 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I think half the problem is large numbers of Johnny bloody farang comes to Thailand and expect the natives to kow tow down in their presence Normally soutpeel you miss the point of the OP entirely and this is no exeption Which is what dear boy ?..its the typical " i am a whitey and demand respect from the natives" rant been done plenty times on here Is it <deleted> you loon head It simply a case of the Op being taken for granted usually due to the low intelligence of those who are benefitting from his largess Why you need to make it anymore is perplexing to me! Usually people choose to marry their equals in terms of intelligence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabaidee Mai Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Never had that problem whether it be family members or any other Thai person, mind you I try not to go to places with large farang population You nailed it, Sabaidee Mai. Treat Thais with respect and - with very few exceptions - that's the way they will treat you. Farangs are a different breed; many more seem to be arrogant and clueless here in Thailand. Hope you do not forget to wai the taxi drivers and the hookers Never used a Hooker in Thailand or any other country, and Taxi's don't need them have my own SUV and if that is in for service their are many other vehicles in the village I can use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 #122 What happened to the dumb blonde scenario? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RikDao Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Since the locals got internet and social media - a hell of a lot more of them know exactly what old Western men marrying younger women are all about . . . thank God LOL. The implication being they didn't know about old farang geezers and young Thai women before Facebook. That's not what I was implying. The clue to that fact was in the use of the word "more" Nope, cannot accept. Maybe you weren't saying it outright, but with or without the use of the word "more," you were definitely implying it. It seems, due to their education system, perhaps, that Thais don't have the same sort of inquisitive nature as we Westerners do, but they aren't dummies. You're welcome to your opinion . . . however idiotic Oh, thank you for reassuring me that I'm welcome to my opinion, I was worried for a minute. However, in this case, I'm not expressing my opinion, I'm stating facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabaidee Mai Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ I have my money she has her's simple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) Perhaps you are the one without a clue. We are dealing with a world that has lacked appropriate adolescent expression. Tell me what country to exclude. Since you seem also to lack maturity, you are unfit to be the head of household and command the respect you seem to not know how to attract. I don't experience your comments or the lack of good manners, good English and sensitivity. Your attitude and posture is not going to get you what you've never had. Its just all about you. Good luck with that. What Is Thoroughly Understood Will Not Repeat Itself “My dear Lord, this one morsel of chipped rice is sufficient to cause him who offered it to become very opulent in this life and to continue his opulence in the next life. My Lord, You are so kind to Your devotee that even this one morsel of chipped rice pleases You very greatly, and Your pleasure assures the devotee opulence both in this life and in the next.” (Rukmini speaking to Krishna, Krishna, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Vol 2, Ch 26) Edited July 26, 2015 by nithisa78 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) “My dear Lord, help this man and his family. Edited July 26, 2015 by nithisa78 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Where exactly do we stand in the Thai social scale who gives a flying fàrt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony5 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 1/ The average Thai is not taught more than the most basic of manners, most of these centering around ways and silence. They don't anymore know how to properly meet a foreigner than they know how to hold the door for someone, it's simply not in their social repertoire; 2/ To the socially lower classes, foreigners can be quite intimidating. Hence, the lack of eye contact and babbling. So it might be they don't actually look down on you. Or, maybe they do. They could possess the huge xenophobic egos many Thais have. That's for you to discern. Having said that, my in-laws want nothing to do with me. They think I'm going to sell my wife the minute she steps on American soil. (Bidding starts at 10,000 baht.) I thought the wife arrived last April Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nithisa78 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 It needs great intelligence for a man and woman to be forgotten, to live together, not surrender to each other or be dominated by one or the other. Relationship is the most difficult thing in life. - Krishnamurti, Letters to a Young Friend,14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mihalis Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 The amount of bitterness on this forum, now wonder some Thai no respect for farang... Iv also meet and know farangs, who think their shit dont stink, and look down at thais.... 31 years of traveling living, you get good with the bad, but iv always shown respect to those who deserved it....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fang37 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I read that respect is earnt! It is not a right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al007 Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I believe most of them believe we are far below status of Buffalo In my wife family after her grandmother I am the oldest and hence when her grandmother die I will be head of the family they all hate this but so far as I am aware this is fact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockhopper Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 LOL They didn't look you in the eye because they are a lower class than you. They were showing deference to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konying Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Never had that problem whether it be family members or any other Thai person, mind you I try not to go to places with large farang population You nailed it, Sabaidee Mai.Treat Thais with respect and - with very few exceptions - that's the way they will treat you. Farangs are a different breed; many more seem to be arrogant and clueless here in Thailand. Hope you do not forget to wai the taxi drivers and the hookers Never used a Hooker in Thailand or any other country, and Taxi's don't need them have my own SUV and if that is in for service their are many other vehicles in the village I can use. Yeah, Isaan is a real heaven with loads of highly educated women, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impulse Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 I read that respect is earnt! It is not a right. Good God, man. Concepts like that could throw the entire Bwana / Charming Little Brown People dynamic completely off kilter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Reading the OP, it's obvious he can't speak Thai. He's obviously an old guy with a young woman purely for financial gain. No "real" family would ever ignore the husband of their kin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabaidee Mai Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Yeah, Isaan is a real heaven with loads of highly educated women, lol She used to work in China, we now have a farm in Isaan my choice I prefer the slower pace of life now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobthomas Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 (edited) Some poeple In Thailand get immediate respect by a show of wealth. Think of the Thai or Farang driving down the road in a new black Mercedes. If it's a Thai driving the car he will be feared due to his potentail for access to power over, and power to do. If it's a Farang he might be also regarded with some caution because his wealth can buy power. If you are just an average Joe, throwing crumbs to your Thai wife, chances are the wife has already told the extended family of the cheapness and they will not show you much respect. All that said: it's merely the norm,..... thousands of exceptions occur every minute. The Op should sit down with the family, buy some food and beer and try to engage with them on their level. Food, fun, without serious tone. b Edited July 26, 2015 by bobthomas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
.thumb.png.76be522b3b43e7458166b9dac9e422ed.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now