About to be homeless - any suggestions?

[Minnehaha]

Would it be fair to say that you, like hundreds if not thousands of others have assisted in your own downfall. As soon as I read that you will have to pay to leave Thailand, meaning you are a voluntary over stayer, then my sympathy when down the plug hole.

Not only are you a possible illegal over stayer, but reading your "story" which seems to hinge on a physical issue, that can and does happen to many, but you at 38 did not consider this a possibility that could occur, and plan and save for it.

Suggest you borrow your overstay fine, get the hell out of Dodge then get yourself sorted in your home country then pay the bills you owe in Thailand.

Well that is if you are honourable, but if your are one of the generation who considers the world owes you a living, then good luck

One aspect to this is... the OP hit the age where things can go sideways a bit early. It is usually around 40 or 50 years of age when physical problems present. I speak from experience. The invincibility of 20 can linger into the 30's and even late 30's, particularly if one is making good money. How many 38 year olds have money saved for a scenario where they are disabled and cannot work for a period of time? Not many, in my opinion.

And all it takes is a physical ailment that is not diagnosed - stroke, or whatever, or get hit by a bus and one can become disabled. Most people with money buy life insurance because they want their family to be taken care of if they die. But what most people do not realize is that they are more likely to become partially or completely disabled than to die before they reach 75. That is why smart people with money buy disability insurance before at same time as other insurance. And all after health insurance.

Back to the OP... if he is racked with anxiety and maybe some kind of depression or mental illness then the options (few as they may be) often cannot be seen at all. The people one knows and could ask for loan / help do not come to mind. One does not / cannot consider the rejection or humiliation, perhaps. Not making judgement here... just saying what I have seen in the human condition and suggesting perhaps it applies here to some degree.

Going to a temple might be a very good option. It may help with the mental health issues and a lot more. One may even find a way of life that is fulfilling and not wish to return to the lay life. Or perhaps even return to the lay life with a new outlook.

[jinjin]

hey just a thought. do the elefant leg guy does. at least he got money for the beer and ladies.

[Eff1n2ret]

OP, if you're a writer, why not make a newspaper article out of your life in Thailand and submit it to newspapers in Belgium? You might be able to negotiate a fee which covers your overstay fine and a ticket back to Belgium, which is where you really need to go. Alternatively if it was published there might be a "Good Samaritan" there who would lend or gift you the money.

[Kondiao]

Get a teaching job out in a rural area. They will take a non native speaker out there. A lot of schools have teacher housing, find one that will let you stay for free. Live like a monk and save money and get your visa sorted out. It might take a while but you can survive.

I like this option for you.

I realize you are already out of work and out of bread and out of love - but I think this is the best idea that has been presented for you. And I get it that you are hobbled by anxiety and depression. - still....

You have got to do something - you have got to take a chance - you must fake it until you own it... walk out on some debts that you owe and tell them (and yourself) that you will make good on them when you can - intending to get on your feet again and with the intention of re-paying as you can.

Step out and let people know you are confident and capable and worth something - not a humble, loser who doesn't belong.

You get on the bus out to Khon Kean or Buriram or Mae Hong Son and -

"Here I am am! - I love this place. I was guided to come here by circumstances - or God - or my karma ....." This is Shangri-La - you don't ever want to leave..... get to know monks and teachers, rich people who can afford a full-time tutor for their spoiled rich children and show them you are something special ... there is just this problem: visa and WP are expired - and I haven't eaten in three days....

EXPECT a Miracle - something will come up; someone will take you under their wing.... Be ready for this.... soon you are fitting right in with the monks, carrying your begging bowl, losing weight, growing spiritually, letting people know you can teach English and re-write the awful language textbooks they use.

It has happened before. People do make lemonade - but they have to stop with the anxiety - i know it is crippling. It cripples me. I know friends drop people and family forgets you. And I know you can walk through the anxiety and rise above the depression - I know because you used to be able to function at that high level - because you know you will again be the confident, capable, popular guy that you once were. You borrow the confidence from your future you.

Being from Europe you maybe were not raised with the ideal of a Cowboy like we were in North AMerica and you don't expect to walk into town and be recognized as the rugged, capable individual.... but you have the advantages that you can explain to your students the derivation of English words - words that came from French and German, even Latin - so you get their young minds interested in learning; they become enthusiastic about the language and tell everyone what a great guy you are - so be prepared for more anxiety as you will soon have too many people wanting your time and your help in translating manuals and interpreting Buddhist scriptures.....

People have come back from worse circumstances. Not talking about me - I exist on a disability allowance from the American Veterans Hospital - diagnosed with PTSD late in life. But I have known people who have made it back from the depths.

The point is: you have to make a decision which way to go and then step out with confidence and focus ahead - so you are not worryng about what is behind - you are not running away from troubles you are moving towards your great future.

Bonne Chance.

[micmichd]

"in a proper setting"

A mental hospital is the only place where he can go in Europe, a cold country with almost no sun in winter time. This is certainly not a proper setting to get rid of depression if you lived in Thailand, it's a setting to *get* depressed - and addicted to psycho drugs.

This is completely inaccurate. Outpatient care is the norm for treatment in europe and anti-depressants are not addictive. You might have had a bad experience but don't go spreading falsehoods because of it.

University Hospital of Heidelberg has a different view. They say that outpatient care would be dangerous, psycho drugs (benzodiazepine) are addictive, and withdrawal from those can only be done inside a mental hospital.

Please provide some medical link for your opinion. It is also my opinion, but I am not objective in my own case. Feel free to PM me, I don't want to hijack this thread.

Outpatient care is only possible if you have a place to stay. If I. understand the OP right, he has no place to stay at all; so this would not apply.

Edited August 24, 2015 by micmichd

[eskatonia]

University Hospital of Heidelberg has a different view. They say that outcare treatment would be dangerous, psycho drugs (benzodiazepine) are addictive, and withdrawal from those can only be done inside a mental hospital.

Please provide some medical link for your opinion. It is also my opinion, but I am not objective in my own case.

Outcare treatment is only possible if you have a place to stay. If I. understand the OP right, he has no place to stay at all; so this would not apply.

Benzo's are not anti-depressants, they are sleep aids and are addictive. SSRI and SNRI anti-depressants are not addictive and are commonly prescribed to outpatients. You may have had a more serious breakdown and needed hospitalisation but thats not the norm for clinical depression in the western world.

[micmichd]

My breakdown was that I wanted to go to Thailand to marry my gf, and I stopped taking benzo's before. And of course, I refused to cooperate with these psycho clowns when they started to check for intimate details.

No need for hospitalisation whatsoever, they could have simply let me go.

[notbkk]

Your a English looks excellent for Belg, so I suggest you visit Wonders Kids English on the web and apply for an online teaching job. Good money and working from home. Good company. Hope you have a PC or laptop. Best advice, I think. Good luck! Message me for not advice on that.

Somewhere the OP replied on my post above saying that they need experienced teachers.( I can't find it...) I am saying that if you are really so desperate I would try it first before giving up...in this case you could make up a a little white lie saying that you have. It's not going to hurt anyone as long as you can teach on-line. They provide all materials and training. Your English is good and they pay ok. Of all the advice you got this is the easiest to do. Once you start earning money and have a bit of security, your spirits will lift and you'll begin to see that there are indeed ways out...if you don't try, it's not going to happen.

[ronthai]

Try one of those crowd sourcing sites.

http://www.gofundme.com/

Thanks, but....

Your country is not supported at this time.

It looks like you're visiting us from Thailand, which is currently not in GoFundMe's list of supported countries. Please let us know if you'd like to see GoFundMe supported in your country. Learn More

Actually, with a VPN you can signup with GoFundMe and setup a campaign.

Only problem is that you MUST have a Stripe account to get access to any donations and Stripe needs a European bank and address.

[fish fingers]

sorry to sound so harsh,but coming to thailand with a PRE-EXISTING MEDICAL CONDITION is dam right foolish.it would have been obvious that you wouldnt be covered with your insurance,BUT YOU DIDNT REVEAL IT DID YOU?

38 and no freinds suggest to me you have broken all ties with your family back home,FOR A LADY YES?

all i can say is good luck your goner need it.

All of us make mistakes in life ... even you (and I don't mean your spelling or grammar).

Seriously, get an empathy check-up.

[ronthai]

I feel for you. I have been in a similar situation about 2 years ago after living here 10 years.

Although my family was willing to take me in back home, I did not go back.

I had and still have a very good Thai friend. She took me in and I rebuilt all while I was staying with her.

Now I am 100% back on my own feet.

You say you have Thai friends, now is the time to find out if they really are friends.

I understand they can not help you financially, neither did mine, just a roof and food.

The only expense you might have is setting up internet in your friends place, which I had to do.

Keep you head down visa wise and save up for when you can pay the fine and a new visa.

Good luck

Edited August 24, 2015 by ronthai

[mankondang]

Your first priority should be your health.

Clinical depression is a serious illness which at this period in time, will cloud your logical means of thinking. It makes you think the worse, and is perpetuated by other external stressors in your present day life (Including the well intended but negative comments on this forum). I suggest, first, you find a means of getting help to alleviate your depression as this will help you see matters more clearly and lead to a more positive outcome. To do this you may have to return to Belgium on a relatively short time basis, and your Embassy may help you to do so. When your mental health improves you can find a way to returns to Thailand.

Remember, depression is serious but may temporary, 1 in 4 men will suffer from it at some stage in their life. It is not a permanent mental disease, and will not stop you from returning to Thailand in the future. At the moment you may see everything as 'gloom and doom', and not logically but try to see it's temporary. Best of luck, but please seek help.

Edited August 24, 2015 by mankondang

[joshstiles]

you are lucky...if i were you i'd buy a good backpack and just start walking....

[HLover]

you are lucky...if i were you i'd buy a good backpack and just start walking....

And a comfortable set of trainers.

[thailandforumaddict]

Writing jobs are everywhere, only people who do not want to work don't do it...

[fish fingers]

Writing jobs are everywhere, only people who do not want to work don't do it...

Based on your grammar I take it you work in another field.

Or maybe in a field.

[Stevemercer]

Writing jobs are everywhere, only people who do not want to work don't do it...

Where are all these writing jobs please? I'd be grateful if you could post a few addresses. Thanks for your assistance.

[louse1953]

Seriously...if you cannot, or will not...go back home, then find a remote temple where the monks will take you in.

Seriously study the language and culture, don the robes and hair cut.

You will be well taken care of....and might even run across a monk with some ideas on how to get you out of the country (if need be).

I suppose they cross borders in vans....to laos and such.

Final option is to turn yourself in at your Embassy. They will get you home, but you will probably lose your passport, and never be allowed back in.

Not sure about this..but check on the internet for smaller sailing/cruise vessels that want a crew. You might get smuggled out...with room and board. Bring Pirate fighting kit.

Not so sure about that.My bil was a monk,then he had a minor stroke.The abbott said they couldn't take care of him,so they kicked him out.So much for Buddhism.

[samuibeachcomber]

If the OP is in a depressed state i cannot see a teaching job being any help at all.teaching is not easy, i would think you need to be well balanced.But writing online sounds a better option,lots of advice has been given here.

Sounds to me the OP has stubbornly refused to entertain the idea of leaving thailand(he will not be alone there)i think its called "thai fever",so, as another poster suggested,ask a thai friend for a place to sleep,and hopefully feed you which will give you breathing space.Not sure what to do about your landlord you said his patience was running out and he could turn you in to immigration.

[mankondang]

sounds like looking for handouts and a sucker to give money

at 30 prime of life should be working not on drugs here

Thanks a lot for your amazing advice.

If I may, I would like to give you some advice as well:

- You may want to thoroughly read a thread before commenting on it. I'm not on drugs and I'm not 30.

- I hope nothing will ever happen to you, be it an accident, an illness, the death of a loved one or any other thing life sometimes likes to throw at people. Because then you would know how bad it makes you feel when you are down and people use it to throw one final little jab at you. Yes, like you just did here.

I like to let you know, you are not the only one in same situation.

I lost my entire family 2 years ago and am alone just like yourself, strangely enough i am 39.

I know exactly where you coming from and what you mean.

But you have to keep in mind, life MUST go on and you MUST take care yourself, because there is no one else out there who would.

When my mother died, i did not have access to immediate money, and in my home country funeral was going to cost over $15 000

None of my friends or my mothers friends were willing to help, being well aware they would be repaid in less than 3 months, after sale of the property.

My millionaire friends all over sudden had no money.

The reason why i am telling you all these is because you MUST get yourself together and get on with your life.

I am not taking a jab at you, but hoping to motivate you from experience,

I will add, after i lost entire family, i hit the bottle on regular basis and even now, 2 years later have days, sometimes weeks when i hit it again, because when i think about what has happened and disappointment over friends and everything else related, drinking becomes the only solution for the day.

Do not do what i did and still doing. Does not help with reality.

I found my peace with rescuing animals, i now have quite a few, do NOT do that either, its expansive and really hard work, but if you can have 1, do it.

Read my previous post about work sites, and get on it ASAP, and as many have suggested, get a teaching job in the middle of nowhere, i doubt they would be checking for anything.

Once you save up some money, do a visa run, and pay off your landlord in installments. I know it sounds BIG, but baby steps and i am certain you would be back on your feet in less than a year with teaching and internet work

If you want to talk or more detail, just PM me.

What a great compassionate humanitarian you are. Congratulations.

I don't normally say or do this in public,

I have a Masters Degree in psychotherapy, Major in Addictions. If ether the OP or yourself want to talk then please PM,. I am semi-retired and live in Thailand. Confidentiality guaranteed. Obviously free service.

[KNJ]

Asking for embassy to fund the overstay, and flight is almost certainly a no go,. Forget any help from them for the rent owing.

Having said that you have to try, that involves persistence requests to the consular staff ( not embassy ) but do not hold your breath.

Immediate action. Find a friend to live with, be honest with them regarding your situation, and be prepared to move around even if it is one night at a time. A roof over your head is needed.

After that be honest with the landlord, explain your personal situation, and that whilst you cannot pay at the moment you have intention to get your life back on track, and ask for patience and time to pay. If he/she will not you are going to have to disappear quick as he/she could easily invoke the police to assist.

Get on Facebook, check every single contact you have ever made ( including clients, if necessary forward sell your work - keep those promises), old school friends, distant family, ex-colleagues and send a polite but begging letter, asking them if they are able to help, after you have explained your personal situation, and your intention that you will repay.

Writing to the Belgium press is a good idea, your national regional AND local papers there.

Sorry to say you need to get back home, without a doubt and regroup. Thailand is always there, and you can return when you are sorted, at least you will have minimal support, even if it means throwing yourself on the governments mercy, ( you are not going to get very much in Swampy)

You need at this most difficult time to make a huge effort and I know that cannot be easy.

There are lots of people on TV who will try and put you down. Stand up, Several years ago I was one of nah sayers whilst in Indonesia and a fellow Brit was incarcerated. I was very dismissive. I did however see the error of my ways, got to know him via email, supplied him with food, reading and eventually a plane ticket out of there ( would have remained in immigration until someone paid for it) I never met him, but spoke to him whilst in UK. Good things can happen. Do I regret spending the money on him, hell NO, I do regret not listening earlier and was happy to help

failing all of this. Crazy as it sounds, I also had a German friend in similar dire straights as yourself, but with zero qualifications. He bit the bullet, and became a male escort in Thailand ( must get that book written one day )

Good luck

[Fab5BKK]

Quite an impressive quote!

I personally think Thailand should require from all retirees proof of income of at least 65,000 baht/month (which is about 800,000 baht/year) and get rid of the 800,000 baht in a bank account rule. Right now, there are way too many people on a tiny pension who choose to live here and do not significantly contribute to the economy

One of the OP's posts.

Perhaps all young digital nomads should be required to show they have savings or guaranteed income to support their layabout lifestyles in Thailand when things go wrong.

[balo]

It seems the OP has left the thread , I am worried about his mental health and I would go to the embassy and get some help. You need a plane ticket home and get help from a professional. The welfare system do exist in Belgium , you just need to go there and sort tings out.

Thailand is the worst country to suffer a depression in, it could kill you in the end. Please try the embassy or contact someone in Belgium that can start fundraising , contact Belgium newspapers, do whatever it takes to bring you home. This is no joke, its your life.

Edited August 24, 2015 by balo

[luk AJ]

Dear Nikolas, i am Belgian to, I discussed your situation with another Belgian friend. We may be able to help you, but we want to meet you first. Send me a message.

[Berkshire]

Do you have family or friends "back home" that can bail you out short time to at least get you "legal" again here and able to look for work ? or assist you in returning to your home country where you can obtain work perhaps more easily and sort yourself out.

No, I don't have any family left (although I'm only 38) and, since I came to Thailand 8 years ago, no friends left back home either.

I just find this to be incredibly odd. No family or friends. Back home or in Thailand. How is this possible? There are expats who've been in Thailand 20 years plus, never returning home, yet still have family and friends. Sorry, but I don't buy it.

[luk AJ]

Do you have family or friends "back home" that can bail you out short time to at least get you "legal" again here and able to look for work ? or assist you in returning to your home country where you can obtain work perhaps more easily and sort yourself out.

No, I don't have any family left (although I'm only 38) and, since I came to Thailand 8 years ago, no friends left back home either.

I just find this to be incredibly odd. No family or friends. Back home or in Thailand. How is this possible? There are expats who've been in Thailand 20 years plus, never returning home, yet still have family and friends. Sorry, but I don't buy it.

That's why I want to meet him first..

[Robroona]

The sailboat idea is a good one. I have direct knowledge that it's been done before. Find a busy marina and ask around, but be sure to cut the "woe is me" look from your face and voice. Keep any promises you make.

Teaching for a year somewhere remote is also valid. Even at 15k per month, if you don't spend it on beer, you should save enough for the overstay and a ticket in a year and a half.

Hope is the strongest human emotion.

This too shall pass.

A few people have liked the sailboat idea. But wouldn't it be hard with a herniated disc problem? Don't want that to come back in the middle of an ocean

[al007]

Please don't tell him to go home.

He has no "home" at home anymore, can't you see?

He will end up in a mental asylum, maybe get a winter depression, and will be done forever. Being mentally sick in Europe means you get stigmatized forever, worse than a criminal.

This man is in a horrendous predicament, probably brought on himself, and I am not over sympathetic

I find it hard to believe he has no family, maybe some he has pissed off but maybe might just help him

Essential to get back to his own country that will probably in Europe have some social; security, better stigmatised for ever than dead in Bangkok

Maybe some Belgium charities can assist

Something drastic needs to be done, maybe go to embassy get inside , refuse to leave, they are unlikely to call Thai police, push the embassy to the very limit, let them know you are suicidal, maybe get a newspaper to go with you, the Embassy just want you tot go away, give them no easy way out, chain yourself to their railings as a last resort, go to your euro MP, I doubt somehow if they will actually allow you to die chained to the embassy, at least you will elevate your predicament

The man is a human being

Try AA or NA (alcoholics anonymous or Narcotics anonymous) not a phone call a meeting, they have experience in dealing with these sorts of problems

[i claudius]

When you read something like this it makes you realise how lucky we are if we have family back home who can bail you out and family here in Thailand that would take you in at the drop of a hat,I do hope something comes up for you

[Jingthing]

Lives can fall apart anywhere but it certainly complicates things when that happens to foreigners in Thailand without a support system. I think the OP is legit and to those who diss him I would say -- there but for the grace of God goes you.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Jingthing