Lecturing girlfriend about Buddhism

[Nayet]

Do you ever do this? Whenever my girlfriend gets a little too greedy, I like to point out that, according to Buddhism, craving / desire is the cause of all suffering. Ever try this?

[CharlieH]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs. Trying to be a "smart-ass" wont help.

[Nayet]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Nayet

[CharlieH]

Pointing out some ones "hypocrisy" is not going to endear you to anyone in Thai or most Asian cultures and in fact will probably alienate you rapidly, if that is your goal, go right ahead.

[Nayet]

Pointing out some ones "hypocrisy" is not going to endear you to anyone in Thai or most Asian cultures and in fact will probably alienate you rapidly, if that is your goal, go right ahead.

No, it hasn't, and I don't use the word hypocrisy. I let her deduce it.

Edited August 31, 2015 by CharlieH

[RolandRat]

Deduce it ?, Deduce it? yeah that'll work out well....

[mogandave]

Is it greedy for a girl to expect you to share?

[AlexRRR]

You only need to bring it up once after that your both not gettin it, I wouldn't say ignore it lot depends on your TGF, you can be a nice guy in many ways and she can be a great girl in many ways, up to both of you, if it's going to become a problem for you in the future might be a good idea to aim a little higher in the type of woman you want.

It's happened to me and the younger the more expensive there going to be, i didn't go on about it I would let her go on then a while later pull her back in, I tried to guide her rather than berate her in the end the criticism and sometime threats of her finding another I encouraged her to move on, if

[HLover]

Nothing like using a deep-rooted belief instilled by generations to teach your GF a lesson. I'm sure she listens intently and tells her friends, family and the local abbot how supremely intelligent your species is.

[canuckamuck]

Just say no.

[malt25]

NO, but best of luck !

[chickin]

Do you not find great irony in the fact that what you are doing is not proper Buddhist behavior?

[MobileContent]

I told my Thai family they are not Buddhists at all. I once had visitors from Singapore and Taiwan and they were stunned that the monks at a local wat even ate meat.

[TheKnave]

Buddhism has little to do with what Thai people practice. Much the same as Westerners who are nominally Christian (or any other religion), they know the rituals, but are not scholarly about the foundations.

Someone, like you apparently, who has studied some form of Buddhism, would know a lot more than most Thais, intellectually, but would not likely have the emotional and spiritual connection that Thais have been developing since they were kids.

See?

[Minnehaha]

I don't feel the need nor see the benefit of explaining the principles of any religion or philosophy when deciding whether to spend or give something to the wife or anyone else for that matter. For example, I do not lend money. Nor do I borrow it. Except from a bank or govt. Never from an individual.

Lecturing a girlfriend on anything does not sound like a good idea.

except that which she is interested to learn more (your Thai cooking skills? cunnilingus skills?)

When I got married, my father in law said only one thing to me. "You need to teach her, she needs to be taught a lot. She is young and you are not and you have experience.". I agreed and had that approach in mind anyway. But I am frequently surprised (years on now) how right he was. It is interesting how well parents know their kids, in many cases. But that is another topic.

If she asks for something and I don't agree to give it, then I say "no" and often explain why I think it is not a preferable idea. I don't link it to higher principles or greed. Keep it simple.

GF or Wives (spouses) are a special kind of relationship. We learn from each other and about ourselves as well. I think teaching in this context is getting the partnership agreement out of synch. Obviously there are differing levels of responsibility to each other. Life is not fair or equal. Nothing is, really. Harmony is the objective. Love is what you give not what you get. Remember the Beatles: And in the end....

[glegolo]

I understand what you mean, and yes I do exactly the same.. maybe not in a situation with moiney, but in all other aspects of life....

The way many thai live their lifes, contradict completely the belief they say that they obey to.... But isn´t that exactly the same with us westerners too? Maybe with all religions?

Glegolo

ps. Yeah I love to tease my wife,, but on the other hand she teases me too, oh I hate her, hahahaha!!

[JHolmesJr]

You might have to start a television show.

[1FinickyOne]

I am sure she must be impressed that you will use her religion to point out her failings… wanting more is a pretty human trait… maybe try some compassion and sympathy rather than being mean - - nobody really likes mean angry people…

[arjunadawn]

If you do not see the irony, or hypocrisy, in this you really should not be "lectur[ing]."

Using core or foundation beliefs about life as a tool to secure your own narrow convictions paints you... well, rather poorly.

[elgordo38]

You might have to start a television show.

The old and the restless. My g/f never gets greedy she is a jewel. I try and "teached" her my life experiences in different areas and work on her English. She is always coming to me with these English lessons on her mobile and she has it down pretty pat now. I am always in awe and wonderment how bright she is and how little opportunity she has been give in her native country to really shine. Ah well today is her birthday so on with the festivities.

Edited September 1, 2015 by elgordo38

[scorecard]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

And I guess we can all assume you are a perfect person?

[NickJ]

It will go in one ear..out the other. Im lucky my better half really thinks its all a crock of

...........crap.

[glegolo]

Oh, so many "serious" posters it is here. Dont you never joke with your wifes, dont you never get joked back? I feel pity for you..

OP;s post was easy to understand really, and I do exactly the very same thing, and we have a great time home here. Neither of us take ourself too seriously.

Losen up you old guys,,,,, let go of your office-work since 50 years back.....you are just old and great in your own way, do not need to pretend any longer.

OP joke on plse,,, life is great!!

Glegolo

[SOTIRIOS]

.....what are you trying to say...really....

[kerrysum]

It will go in one ear..out the other. Im lucky my better half really thinks its all a crock of

...........crap.

I agree, if anyone has lived in Thailand for any period of time, they will realize that Buddhism has changed. Many of the older generation that goes to the Wat, where my wife goes, often have to correct he monks, and yes I side with them. There are two kinds of love, one is conditional, and the other unconditional. So I am all ears, for all of the experts! I do not judge, but then you do not judge me. End of story. Nuff said.

[Petchou]

Impressive TV farangs :-)

After having investigations skills, now I am discovering their teaching skills even of Buddhism to Buddhists.

What an amazing gang of enlightened people all gathering here.

Lol

[Broeno]

Is it greedy for a girl to expect you to share?

Sharing is Always a two way ticket.

[coulson]

Give her the Bible (or whatever book would be associated with your birth certificate) and let her take a few extracts/ make a few digs, it's pretty easy........

[off road pat]

Not if you want to enjoy peace and harmony - then NO, if you have issues deal with the issues and respect her beliefs.

The only issue I see is the hypocrisy of a greedy person professing to be a Buddhist.

Just tell me ? what religious person is not a hypocrite....????

[hawker9000]

I think you (OP) are on thin ice on two counts. One, throwing someone's own culture up at them to win a morality argument is just never a good idea. Two, Thai Buddhism is really a combination of Theravada Buddhism and animism. It's a "folk-style" Buddhism, and I would think any outsider, even a devout Buddhist adherent. would have a tough time carrying on an intelligent conversation about Buddhism with the average Thai.

If the problem is greed, then talk about greed with the GF, not religion. If you can't do that, for sure trying to put it in religious terms isn't going to get you anywhere, nowhere you really want to be anyway.