They do try, Some thai translations to english

[bamukloy]

An ex gf could not say "floor" no matter how hard she tried. The only comprehendable words that came out in its place were... fire..flower flyer floura

in the end she settled for a mix between buffalo and floor... buffaloor

seemed to have trouble with F words

well some of em anyway :0)

[sipi]

Can anyone say "hand" in Thai?

มือ

I have been trying for over 10 years.

Meue, muere, meeere...

Just can't do it.

[jcates29]

For me, to pronounce that vowel in the word "hand", if I form my mouth to say "uh" and simply bring my teeth close together until they are almost touching, and then say the vowel, it works.

[sipi]

For me, to pronounce that vowel in the word "hand", if I form my mouth to say "uh" and simply bring my teeth close together until they are almost touching, and then say the vowel, it works.

I just made a cow noise. The wife is entertained.

[MaeJoMTB]

My wife told me about a Thai who worked with her (in USA), who got in an argument (in English) with another Asian who also was speaking English as her second language.

Thai: "You think I scare you?" (Meaning: "Do you think I'm scared of you?")

Other Asian: "I not scare you!" (Meaning: "I'm not scared of you!")

Thai (now a little confused, but still mad): "No, YOU think I scare YOU?"

Other Asian: "No way, I not scare you!"

And so on..

Why didn't they speak in their home language?

If we white boys all speak English, surely they should all speak ..........

[jcates29]

By "other Asian" I meant "not Thai". English was their common language, such as their ability to speak it (and understand it) was...

[wombat1943]

My wife wanted "spicy tea". Turned out to be "spaghetti"!

[MaeJoMTB]

By "other Asian" I meant "not Thai". English was their common language, such as their ability to speak it (and understand it) was...

It would seem unlikely that two random Asian countries would have the same grammatical layout, so that when they both spoke in English, they would be making the same mistakes.

If you're gonna make stuff up, you should consider the content more carefully.

Edited October 9, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[jcates29]

MaejoMTB, stuff it. I don't lie. I reported what was reported to me. I thought it was funny, and seems logical to me. Get a life!

[KMartinHandyman]

Off topic: could someone guide me to the "ignore a troll feature" please.

Tia

[MaeJoMTB]

MaejoMTB, stuff it. I don't lie. I reported what was reported to me. I thought it was funny, and seems logical to me. Get a life!

This is an anonymous forum. Lying is part of the posting game.

Lying is also an important part of the living in Thailand game.

I, at least, have the decency to make my lies seem superficially credible.

Edited October 9, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[wooloomooloo]

Anyway, this thread will die a death because most Thai Visa members are married to super intelligent, highly educated, tri-lingual, hi-so Thai-Chinese types, so probably don't encounter problems such as this.

Relax a little.

My wife's family are not hi-so Thai-Chinese types. What little money my in-laws earned was spent on my wife's education and I'm well aware that they suffered significant financial hardship to settle my wife's university fees. You can trust me on this.

My wife gained a BA in English language and a minor in Mandarin. Notwithstanding, my wife obviously didn't want to disappoint her parent's with poor results.

We both reside in the UK and my wife's English is extremely fluent due to her degree and subsequent five year stay in the UK. I don't meet many Thais that are more fluent in English, though she does have her moments. I constantly correct her and she is happy that I do so. She also gained her British passport in January of this year, which is more than deserved.

As others have described, the odd little slips are quite endearing.

[saintphil]

Need new shoe on leg of car, pretty go away, = tyres on the car were bald

[richard_smith237]

After valet parking my friend was annoyed because he had semen on his car...

I was thinking WTfook !!! - he explained that the Valet car park must have been near a building site and some semen must have fallen on the car...

I argued.. WTfook, you think construction workers on the 20th floor are whaking off and shooting off the building ???? Crazy !!!

of course - CemenT !!!! ent... ent... ENT !!

My Wife when we were scuba diving... plopping in the water and 'going downstairs' !!!

Edited October 9, 2015 by CharlieH

[RachaRob]

What your my name?

[Redfan]

this makes me laugh

I always think it's super cute when farang can't pronounce Thai words. And glad to know that you guys think it's cute too for us to pronounce wrong way(toooo far wrong way)

[Jaggg88]

Open the light = turn the light on

[pauleddy]

On a slightly carnal note: Refrigerator and (also) Cold Room, in Thai gay slang( --I'm not sure about non-gay) are often used to refer to a man's bottom. Not sure if it also applies to a female posterior.

Most Thai gay men (let's not kid ourselves, there are zillions) and, I guess, people who understand street slang...will know what "clean the cold room/refrigerator" means. So, if you have a gay/bi friend and you are feeling industrious or helpful, don't ask him (in Thai) if you can pop round and clean the refrigerator (unless you are more than friends...)!

[Gringogazzer]

On a slightly carnal note: Refrigerator and (also) Cold Room, in Thai gay slang( --I'm not sure about non-gay) are often used to refer to a man's bottom. Not sure if it also applies to a female posterior.

Most Thai gay men (let's not kid ourselves, there are zillions) and, I guess, people who understand street slang...will know what "clean the cold room/refrigerator" means. So, if you have a gay/bi friend and you are feeling industrious or helpful, don't ask him (in Thai) if you can pop round and clean the refrigerator (unless you are more than friends...)!

Really.....with all them chillies in the food?

Would think that's where they head without delay after the fact.

[Guitar God]

Put in barbecue=cremate.

Pack home = put restaurant leftovers in a "doggy" bag

Want chii= need to pee

Take out- unzip my dress

Make activity= have sex

[CharlieH]

Put in barbecue=cremate.

Pack home = put restaurant leftovers in a "doggy" bag

Want chii= need to pee

Take out- unzip my dress

Make activity= have sex

3rd one isnt "pee", its the other..

[Gringogazzer]

Put in barbecue=cremate.

Pack home = put restaurant leftovers in a "doggy" bag

Want chii= need to pee

Take out- unzip my dress

Make activity= have sex

3rd one isnt "pee", its the other..

Straight from the refrigerator...

[pauleddy]

Check bill...must be one of the oldest. Is it check the bill, or is it "I give you a cheque for this food bill"? Nah, not that...

[pauleddy]

Yes, the My Friend always cracks me up.

"Where you go?" "I'm going to see my friend"......"Ah, you go see my friend"

[Guitar God]

Chi (ฉี่) not kee.

[pauleddy]

The flied lice is a corker because they cannot use RRRs without a lot of plactice.

I was on a chat line to a friend yesterday (this is true), and I asked him whether the bad weather was about to improve.

"Collect", he said. "You are collect".

[pauleddy]

Another classic is TRIED for tired.

"I'm go to bed cos I tried"

I think it's so common, it's fossilised. 95% of my Thai friends say Tried for Tired. No matter how many times I tell my students about it as a typical Tinglish "mistake"...the penny rarely drops. My belief is that they often cannot hear the difference, just as I, as a stupid farang, cannot always judge which tone a Thai is using. My tonal awareness is awful.

BTW, the mix-up between CHICKEN and KITCHEN is quite common in native Spaniards learning English, as well.

[ExpatOilWorker]

Electric-city = electricity

Coming from a dark rural area a bright lit city must just be closely associated with electric-city.

[sean in udon]

my wife "I want a toytoy"

me "excuse me?"

"a toytoy......toyyyyyyy toyyyyyyyy na"

she drew a picture....

me "ohhhh a tortoise"

reversed...

me to my mum in law in thai "ded ook leaw" (meaning the suns come out)

my Thai is still at basic and I can only write a little but after much confusion, frowns and then hilarity, it turns out i cant pronounce the difference between "ด" and "ต"

so "เดด" became "เตต" which isnt sunshine at all. I basically told my Mum in Law that her clitoris was out. I even went so far to say how beautiful it was. Now Im banned from ever saying sunshine in Thai.

That has to be the funniest language faux pas I've ever read.

Thanks for sharing.

[ThaiWai]

"If tod no have voice BE CAREFUL"= silent but deadly flatulence

"you wash your dress today?" Dress=any type of clothing

"I no have money for pay rent my shop, I can bollow you litenbit mai".

A personal favorite when "really" becomes "leewly".

A dog with a collar indicates the dog has a "Boss".

Airplanes and birds "wing" through the sky.

"pussy broken"=menstruating

Reflecting on a motorists agressive driving "Whataboudis fukka-asshoe-boo-sheet. Soon he will go hop-sital or no have life"

Also no matter what animal I point to from insects to lizards to snakes to birds to roadkill I always get the same response.."I eat before many time. Aroi when tum phet"

Edited October 9, 2015 by ThaiWai