flyingsaucersarereal Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Ok guys so here is the back story I got married in April of this year 2015. I am 30 years old and my wife is 31. My wife seems to be always unhappy with me. We live in Thailand. After our last argument she says that she needs some time alone and is probably wanting a divorce. The cause of the argument was me trying to find out the reason why she is always in a bad mood and her always sulking and feeling sorry for herself. Obviously if we can't work things out I will get a divorce but not after we are absolutely sure that we have tried everything to fix our problems. I think the best approach is to ignore her and go on with my life like it doesn't bother me and wait to see if she comes back. I think smothering her with attention and calls would just make everything worse. I also don't think I should be giving her money at this time if she isn't going to live with me we have no children. I rent my house and have nothing I am worried she will take from me in a divorce if things go south. Appreciate any suggestions thanks. Edited October 23, 2015 by flyingsaucersarereal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Maybe she thought life would change after getting hitched. Maybe her family are putting pressure on her to get more. If thats the case you are better to let it end now. When you come up against a demanding Thai mother in law they , for the most part win everytime........unless you pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishsmile Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 How long did you date before marriage? Was there no indications of her mood swings as you dated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeJoMTB Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Hide your passport, marriage certificate, work permit, bank book and CCs ..... best place is at a friends house. Edited October 23, 2015 by MaeJoMTB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villagefarang Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Sounds like after 6 months with you she has figured out she made a mistake and is looking for a way out. Be a gentleman and don’t make it difficult for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoneyboy Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Given your circumstances of no children or property I would up sticks and leave if she as an adult like most Thai woman is unable to talk about the issues that are making her feel this way what else is there to do. I've had similar issues with my GF of 6 years,but have a daughter,we have reconciled in the past and all is well until the next time. The thing with a lot of Thai women is the fact that they don't like conflict and I mean conflict by way of discussion as in a pro active approach to discussing any problems they may be hiding,wether that be pressure from extended family or other issues they may have its always a real chore to get to the heart of the issue. I'm no marriage counsellor and only speak from personnel experience,I've had the 7 day silent treatment,the 7 day stint at the sisters 400 kms away,getting out of the car at traffic lights 100 kms from home,all brought on by petty squabbles. I keep quiet now,don't get angered and avoid any shouting matches,the repeated shouts of this is Thailand,this is how we do it are ingrained in my memory for ever,I've adopted the Mai Pen Rai attitude and now things seem to tick along. Edited October 23, 2015 by stoneyboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcab Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Hide your passport, marriage certificate, work permit, bank book and CCs ..... best place is at a friends house. Wise words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcab Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I think you have the situation well under control. I don't know your wife, so only you will be able to answer if she thinks you should be buying a car/house, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Ignore her and get on with your life and see what happens, dont give her any money and if need be move out for a few months and if it is a divorce your ahead of the game...you have move out already Edited October 23, 2015 by Soutpeel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 How long did you date before marriage? Was there no indications of her mood swings as you dated? What makes you think she has mood swings ? Maybe she has got into something and realised she doesnt want to be anymore...your finding fault in the wife...maybe the OP is a control freak and doesnt give her space to do her own things...come across a lot of farangs like this with their wives, seems to be prominent between relationships where the gent is quite a bit old than the wife, but obviously this not a factor in this case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCC1701A Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) be happy no kids. get your stuff out now. be nice to her and do all the divorce paperwork. don't procrastinate, power through this as everyday costs money. be happy you are free. never get married again. the end of all your problems for the rest of your life. Edited October 23, 2015 by NCC1701A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackin1960 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 If you truly love someone and they want to go then the only thing you can do is tell them you love them and say " I love you too much to stop you being happy and if going will make you happy you must go" But make sure you documents are safe then pay for her bus ticket and say good buy with care and don't push for anything. If she stays or comes back OK but don't make conditions or impose restrictions if you don't like the way she is then you must do the walking if you can't find happiness together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcab Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 If you truly love someone and they want to go then the only thing you can do is tell them you love them and say " I love you too much to stop you being happy and if going will make you happy you must go" But make sure you documents are safe then pay for her bus ticket and say good buy with care and don't push for anything. If she stays or comes back OK but don't make conditions or impose restrictions if you don't like the way she is then you must do the walking if you can't find happiness together. Or just kick her to the curb, Thai style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishsmile Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 How long did you date before marriage? Was there no indications of her mood swings as you dated?What makes you think she has mood swings ? Maybe she has got into something and realised she doesnt want to be anymore...your finding fault in the wife...maybe the OP is a control freak and doesnt give her space to do her own things...come across a lot of farangs like this with their wives, seems to be prominent between relationships where the gent is quite a bit old than the wife, but obviously this not a factor in this case I fully appreciate what you say but... I'm not making assumptions, I was simply asking was there any indication of mood problems/ swings/ call it what you like, simply a question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 maybe she thought you were rich before she married and now she knows you have nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissie Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Given your circumstances of no children or property I would up sticks and leave if she as an adult like most Thai woman is unable to talk about the issues that are making her feel this way what else is there to do. I've had similar issues with my GF of 6 years,but have a daughter,we have reconciled in the past and all is well until the next time. The thing with a lot of Thai women is the fact that they don't like conflict and I mean conflict by way of discussion as in a pro active approach to discussing any problems they may be hiding,wether that be pressure from extended family or other issues they may have its always a real chore to get to the heart of the issue. I'm no marriage counsellor and only speak from personnel experience,I've had the 7 day silent treatment,the 7 day stint at the sisters 400 kms away,getting out of the car at traffic lights 100 kms from home,all brought on by petty squabbles. I keep quiet now,don't get angered and avoid any shouting matches,the repeated shouts of this is Thailand,this is how we do it are ingrained in my memory for ever,I've adopted the Mai Pen Rai attitude and now things seem to tick along. This is what I call an excellent post by stoneyboy. Cheers.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordy Gambino Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 tEELAK SAY TO ME ME NO GOOD AND I SAY YO SISTER BETTER THAN YOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Analyse the relationship..be objective. You don't need other people advising you on what to do, especially people that don't know either of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wow64 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Get a new one and stay away from balconies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissie Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 As the OP says " I rent my house and have nothing". As Bob Dylan used to sing: ........."if you ain't got nothing, you ain't got nothing to loose". Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacky54 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 sounds like a normal Thai woman, they are lovely- at first! No doubt it will be the OP fault, and almost certainly be money related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Turn the page, new chapter, learn from the mistakes, move on. It sounds like you already know this and just need others to validate your conclusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petermik Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Why make one woman miserable when there are so many out there wanting to make YOU happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCruncher Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Sounds like after 6 months with you she has figured out she made a mistake and is looking for a way out. Be a gentleman and don’t make it difficult for her. Sounds like she figured that out already after the second month http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/841348-who-wins-in-thai-child-custody-battle/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slip Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 How long did you date before marriage? Was there no indications of her mood swings as you dated?What makes you think she has mood swings ? Maybe she has got into something and realised she doesnt want to be anymore...your finding fault in the wife...maybe the OP is a control freak and doesnt give her space to do her own things...come across a lot of farangs like this with their wives, seems to be prominent between relationships where the gent is quite a bit old than the wife, but obviously this not a factor in this case I fully appreciate what you say but... I'm not making assumptions, I was simply asking was there any indication of mood problems/ swings/ call it what you like, simply a question. Have you now stopped beating your wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRRR Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Some women are moody.....The current TGF has her moments for sure the first time it happened and she told me i just let it ride i didn't want to ruin my evening, i had expected sometime soon after she would sort it out with me....no dead silence, i know her now lucky her bad or moody moods go fairly quickly. At first she picked her issues to sort out now either I've become better or nothing comes up to tick me off about, yet at first she was all ears if i had an issue these days its the Thai silent way. Interesting mood swings could be mental health related and our better mood could be something as simple as a daily vitamin pill...i know a vitamin B complex lifted my spirits. For you how moody is she really? The lesson for you might be to learn to adapt, really if she wasn't happy with you she would leave, by the way DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH HER unless there is a sustained improvement over a several years, might improve the relationship at first unlikely too once the stress of a baby needs constant care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seizetheday Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 There are many fish in the sea, move on, it's as simple as that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Advice to the OP, she's constantly miserable, she's asked for some time to herself. Give her as much time to herself as she wants. And then some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 many thai girls are like frequent flyers, always looking for an upgrade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gonsalviz Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I'll trade them as fast as I can when they make a PIA of themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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