Every so often I'll be reading a thread and someone will ask "how long is a string"?......but.....no one ever answers them!!!! It's driving me crazy!! Please, someone,,,,anyone,,,,,HOW LONG IS A STRING FOR CHRISSAKE!!!!

Cownah

As long as a thread!?!

The question is usually 'how long is a piece of string?'

To which the answer is 'twice as long as half of it'

It's an old English thing..... just saying 'unanswerable/pointless question' equates to the same thing.

Is the string attached to anything?

I've just measured mine. It's 123cms long. I don't think it's going to be enough, I have four parcels to tie up!

these may or may not answer your question.

Read on to find out:

How Long is a Piece of String (source link to this quoted story)

by Catriona, aged 11 from Glasgow, Scotland

It was Sunday afternoon. Katy was bored, so she went through to the kitchen, to see her mum.

"Mum", Katy said, in a cute little voice.

" Yes dear?" Her mum replied. She didn't want to speak to Katy at that moment.

" Can you take me to the zoo?"

"Not today. I need to finish this report, for tomorrow".

"Mum."

"Yes?"

"How far does the universe go on for?" Katy quizzed. She was only seven, and wanted to know everything. She was always asking questions.

"How long is a piece of string?" her mum said with a smile.

The End

or, for the more intelectual among you... (on this forum?)

The big question: how long is a piece of string theory? (source link to this article)

February 25, 2004

The inherent uncertainty of mathematics means we will never fully understand our world, writes Paul Davies.

The world about us looks so bewilderingly complex, it seems impossible that humans could ever understand it completely. But dig deeper, and the richness and variety of nature are found to stem from just a handful of underlying mathematical principles. So rapid has been the advance of science in elucidating this hidden subtext of nature that many scientists, especially theoretical physicists, believe we are on the verge of formulating a "theory of everything".

When Stephen Hawking accepted the Lucasian Chair of Mathematics at Cambridge University in 1980 he chose as the title of his inaugural lecture: "Is the end in sight for theoretical physics?" What he meant was that physicists could glimpse the outlines of a final theory, in which all the laws of nature would be melded into a single, elegant mathematical scheme, perhaps so simple and compact it could be emblazoned on your T-shirt. Now Hawking has done something of a U-turn by claiming in a lecture at Cambridge last month that we will never be able to grasp in totality how the universe is put together.

The quest for a final theory began 2500 years ago. The Greek philosophers Leucippus and Democritus suggested that however complicated the world might seem to human eyes, it was fundamentally simple. If only we could look on a small enough scale of size, we would see that everything is made up of just a handful of basic building blocks, which the Greeks called atoms. It was then a matter of identifying these elementary particles, and classifying them, for all to be explained.

Today we know atoms are not the elementary particles the Greek philosophers supposed, but composite bodies with bits inside. However, this hasn't scuppered the essential idea that a bottom level of structure exists on a small enough scale. Physicists have been busy peering into the innards of atoms to expose what they hope is the definitive set of truly primitive entities from which everything in the universe is built. The best guess is that the ultimate building blocks of matter are not particles at all, but little loops of vibrating string about 20 powers of 10 smaller than an atomic nucleus.

String theory has been enormously beguiling, and occupies the attention of physicists and mathematicians. It promises to describe correctly not only the inventory of familiar particles but the forces that act between them, like electromagnetism and gravity. It could even explain the existence of space and time, too.

Though string theorists are upbeat about achieving the much sought-after theory of everything, others remain sceptical about the entire enterprise. A bone of contention has always surrounded the word "everything". Understanding the basic building blocks of physical reality wouldn't help explain how life originated, or why people fall in love. Only if these things are dismissed as insignificant embellishments on the basic scheme would the physicist's version of a final theory amount to a true theory of everything.

Then there is a deeper question of whether a finite mind can ever fully grasp all of reality. By common consent, the most secure branch of human knowledge is mathematics. It rests on rational foundations, and its results flow seamlessly from sequences of precise definitions and logical deductions. Who could doubt that 1+1=2, for example? But in the 1930s the Austrian philosopher Kurt Godel stunned mathematicians by proving beyond doubt that the grand and elaborate edifice of mathematics was built on sand. It turns out that mathematical systems rich enough to contain arithmetic are shot through with logical contradictions. Any given mathematical statement (eg, 11 is a prime number) must either be true or false, right?

Wrong! Godel showed that however elaborate mathematics becomes, there will always exist some statements (not the above ones though) that can never be proved true or false. They are fundamentally undecidable. Hence mathematics will always be incomplete and in a sense uncertain.

Because physical theories are cast in the language of mathematics, they are subject to the limitations of Godel's theorem. Many physicists have remarked that this will preclude a truly complete theory of everything. Now it seems Hawking has joined their ranks.

So does this mean physicists should give up string theory and other attempts at unifying the laws of nature, if their efforts are doomed to failure? Certainly not, for the same reason that we don't give up teaching and researching mathematics because of Godel's theorem. What these logical conundrums tell us is there are limits to what can be known using the rational method of inquiry. It means that however heroic our efforts may be at understanding the world about us, there will remain some element of mystery at the end of the universe.

Paul Davies is professor of natural philosophy at the Australian Centre for Astrobiology at Macquarie University.

and finally, for the humour mongers:

taken from Here:

Speaking of measurements reminds me of one of my favourite Monty Python sketches called simply The String Sketch.

What's that? You've never heard it? You've missed a treat. A bit of a search on my best mate google.com came up trumps ... The scene is an advertising agency office ... the characters are the ad man, Adrian Wapcaplet and the would-be client, Mr Simpson:

W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder.

S: String.

W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*.

S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it--

W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there.

S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful.

W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!"

S: What?

W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!"

S: For what?

W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!"

S: Such as?

W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attaching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests...

S: Destroying household pests?! How?

W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller, you flog them to death with it!

S: Well *surely*! ...

W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!"

S: 'Ospitals!?!?!?!!?

W: Have you ever been in a Hospital where they didn't have string?

S: No, but it's only *string*!

W: ONLY STRING?! It's everything! It's...it's waterproof!

S: No it isn't!

W: All right, it's water resistant then!

S: It isn't!

W: All right, it's water absorbent! It's...Super Absorbent String! "ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX STRINGETTES! AWAY WITH FLOODS!"

S: You just said it was waterproof!

W: "AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD PREVENTERS!"

S: You're mad!

W: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial - There's this nud_e woman in a bath holding a bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nud_e woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string, and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing the string. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Macarios? No, no, he's dead... never mind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper... So, there's this nud_e woman...

Classic!

Oh, about this long.

17,793 pounds, has a 40-foot circumference, and is over 7,627,737 feet

Oh, about this long.

17,793 pounds, has a 40-foot circumference, and is over 7,627,737 feet

That many feet!..... does that make it a millipede ?

It is as long as you Kan push it and as long this "Fred" goes on as well...

Yours truly,

Kan Win

P.S. Surely you are not pulling us along, or are you, pulling the sting that is ?

Whatever yanks yer string! This is not a euphemism!

Are we talking string theory ...

Then it's infinite and at the same time non-existent,

Also, if it falls in a forest it may or may not make a sound ...

Are we talking string theory ...

Then it's infinite and at the same time non-existent,

Also, if it falls in a forest it may or may not make a sound ...

If a piece of string falls over in a forest I doubt that anyone would hear it.... including Mrs String

How long is WHO's string? I bet MY string is longer than YOUR string.... !!!

Depends what size your vest is

Depends what size your vest is

I don't think she was talking about her vest!!!

Maybe she was talking about her g-string, in which case it's bound to be miniscule judging from her svelt like figure!

Maybe she was talking about her g-string, in which case it's bound to be miniscule judging from her svelt like figure!

Words are cheap... where are the photos?

Maybe she was talking about her g-string, in which case it's bound to be miniscule judging from her svelt like figure!

Words are cheap... where are the photos?

I was speaking of her avatar!

It is as long as you Kan push it and as long this "Fred" goes on as well...

Yours truly,

Kan Win

P.S. Surely you are not pulling us along, or are you, pulling the sting that is ?

Oh! Pull the other one...

It is as long as you Kan push it and as long this "Fred" goes on as well...

Yours truly,

Kan Win

P.S. Surely you are not pulling us along, or are you, pulling the sting that is ?

Oh! Pull the other one...

Is this a euphemism again. Sex, sex, sex, that's all you think about!

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

What has that gotta do with your first word?

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

What has that gotta do with your first word?

Its got nothing to do with my first word...this is the how long is a string thread....but....I do recommend that you get over there to The First Word thread and add a couple of posts....we've got alot of work to do to catch up postwise with The Last Word thread!!!!

Chownah

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

What has that gotta do with your first word?

wrong thread??

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

Yes, another Chownah classic!

Did you hear the one about the string that slithered into a bar got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer? The bartender said " get out of here...we don't serve strings in here!!" ...so the string slithered back outside. When no one was looking the string unraveled its end to look like a poofy hairdo as a disguise and slithered back into the bar and got up on the bar stool and ordered a beer. The bartender said "aren't you the string that I just kicked out of here a couple of minutes ago?"...the string simply replied "'fraid not".

Chownah

Yes, another Chownah classic!

Pity it's in the wrong thread

Took me a while to cotton on to that one.

I think he should be strung up!

Took me a while to cotton on to that one.

I think he should be strung up!

That's a string-ent sentence! But I agree.

I wanted to say something here, yet I could knot come up with anystring.

Can you string alot in one day? Yesterday I strang ten. I've never strung so many before.

is that proper english?

chwonahchwo