my wifes boss is flirting with her

[Nikab]

Pretty weird that nobody thinks that the wife was actually provoking all of it. Thai girls are masters in this subject. It's kinda cool to be a favourite one, but when you need to pay for it - they pretend me to be an innocent sheeps like they did nothing. By the way, did she show you his Line messages or you found it by yourself? I am sure that when woman does not want to be in a such position, she can easily avoid it or stop at the beginning, and if she did'nt - ask yourself why.

[joeyg]

Make absolutely certain that no-one, other than your wife, is aware of your concerns.

Speak well of him to other people.

Whatever takes place in the future will be nothing to do with you.

Excellent advice. I'll throw in my 2 cents.

1 I think you are 110% correct for being protective of your wife.

2 I can't fathom how anyone can say let her "fend for herself"

3 Having said that and TIT if she doesn't want to quit her job make friends with this guy

4 I was raised in New Jersey. On the coast. Situations like this were always made right by a deep sea fishing outing. The sun, fresh air, good food and a few drinks, you might become good friends, in the end.

[williamgeorgeallen]

If you got any balls whatsoever, this guy needs to be confronted in a controlled but decisive manner!

Going alone would be the best option (your are not picking a fight just making a clear point), but given the language barrier I suggest you bring in a Thai speaker.

would be interesting to hear what would happen if you actually did this. it is the wrong thing to do however, confronting a thai in his own country especially one who thinks he has some power can only lead to bad things. he may even have some real connections and really screw you over. almost always the best advice in thailand is 'stay the hell out of everything'. you wife has a far better idea of how to handle this than any westerner here. go along with what ever she says.

[Stevemercer]

As other posters have suggested, you will need to let your wife manage this problem. Any intervention by yourself will make things 10 times worse and impossible to resolve without huge loss of face and subsequent consequences.

Your wife should keep a diary of his behaviour and document sexual innuendos and emails as far as possible. That way she will be in the best position to defend herself should the shit hit the fan. Chances are he is a big talker with no action (if not actively encouraged).

[hdkane]

It sounds as though your wife is a government employee...so make plans for her to quit...although govt jobs are prized, they are poorly paid and usually rife with corruption...gather as much evidence as you can...have her quit...then make a problem for the fellow by going to supervisors and the media...<deleted>...after she quits, she has nothing to lose...

i had a previous gf who was in the army who actually had to quit her job to escape the harassment...and another gf who worked for the govt and her boss would disappear for weeks at a time...drunk and with a mia noi...leaving no means of communication...she chose to remain at her job...and was obstructed from any transfer or promotion, because she was a good worker...

in Thailand, the incompetent get promoted...so just have your wife leave and put this problem behind her...

[adwbkk]

Ask your wife if she wants (or needs) your help? Do as she says.

As others have said, TiT, avoid confrontations. Avoid loss of face for all concerned.

In short, stay out of it.

[johnnysunshine]

Be grateful whenever anyone appreciates the beauty of your wife and then it is up to her to set boundaries!

[wesnel]

This guy was hired regardless of already having a reputation, whether he's competent or not they wanted him for a reason. You speak about the repercussions to yourself. B & C however will more than likely have bad repercussions for your wife. Without enough evidence to force the higher powers to get rid of him, he would probably just end up making your wife's life at work very unpleasant.

[Thingamabob]

You appear over excited. Calm down a bit. You will only make things worse by over reacting. Both genders tend to flirt in the workplace. Makes the world go round.

[MissAndry]

Tell her to ask him for a pay rise.

[kennypowers]

Thai society is an extremely sexist one, and such men are common in the workplace. There are cultural ways to deal with men like this of which I'm sure your wife is aware. His behaviour is not uncommon, but the worry is that it gets more intense and could place your wife in a dangerous situation. Most rapes and indecent assaults go unreported in Thailand due to women being made to feel like they asked for it. Also through fear of being considered tainted goods. I would suggest that you let your wife handle it for now but keep a close monitor on the situation and communicate regularly. Should the behavior escalate, your wife should go to his superior and make a formal complaint.

[bouph12]

I can't agree with the posters suggesting you stay out of this because "This is Thailand". That just allows the unacceptable behaviour of a sexual predator to continue.

Your wife has told you about this situation because it's upsetting her and she doesn't have a solution.

She is your wife.

Help her.

[HHTel]

One option that hasn't been mentioned. The wife can report him to the Labour Office citing the Labour Protection Act Section 16. The Labour Office are legally bound to investigate all complaints.

[Altalake]

You sound a bit paranoid - calm down!

[seajae]

I actually talked to my wife about this as I know I would feel the same way as the op, my wife is a manager in a decent sized company and has to deal with similar from having to work with govt offices. She has made it clear from the start that they are not to try any of the usual ploys(her words) with her and refuses to go out to anything without other workers/me with her just for this reason. She said that your wife needs to tell him straight out that if he touches her or tries to make any sort of sexual innuendo she will report him and file charges, she also said that if she is not comfortable with what he is saying/doing to report him to the direct superior. She said that there are many thai ladies that have similar bosses/managers as many males think it is their right to do so, an even better way to cause the man grief is to take pics of him and put them on facebook, line etc with his sexual harassment details from this work place and others where he has worked. Companies can not afford to be linked to this sort of behavior and will either move him or fire him, as long as it can be backed up by other workers or proof(the line message for example), personally I would want to face him and let him know in no uncertain terms exactly what I will do to him if it happens again, screw him losing face, if he is man enough to try to force himself onto a married women then he is man enough to have the sh*t kicked out of him by her husband.

[SOTIRIOS]

...what are you worried about....

...the public post should work against him since many people saw it....

...beyond that....hope that he is just ugly fat and nothing else.....

...but I can understand your buildup of frustration......

...we are not in a favorable position in this country and probably never will be...too much going against us....

...and I seriously doubt that 'the posse' would back you...

...if there are in fact things that you dislike about yourself...work on those...focus on you and the positive....

...if your romance is waning....that is another story altogether....

[CharlieH]

Any posts advocating physical violence will be removed.

[ozyjon]

It's good to be the boss.

[mikiea]

D. Have her quit, she can find another job.

dude you are a day late ...... when she told you what was going on that was insurance for getting caught and a "go to" back story ..........smell that ? it is the coffee ..................

[mikiea]

Nothing uncommon on the Country of Gossips. Better to ignore it, and let Thais to resolve in their way.....

yea right , i want to meet your wife / gf , like to hear what she say to your golden advise v...................hahaha hahaha hahaha

[B1TcoinLife]

If you accuse him of flirting with your wife he might turn the tables and say he was flirting with him

Think about this carefully, Thai men generally do whatever they want to women, especially ones in positions of authority...

[sead]

We live in the age of smartphones. Record all conversations. You have voice activated recorders. It's not what he says to your wife its what your wife answers. He's only a male looking for a score .

[B1TcoinLife]

Tell her to ask him for a pay rise.

She will have to get in her knees to get that.... And I think that's not what the op wants

[Avrock]

I hear these stories alot..women being harassed at work place..there's something terribly wrong with the work place ethics here..knowing very well the women are married the old farts have to make a move on them..the karoake bar small wife & the University gik or whatever it's called is just not enough..they've to destroy perfectly happy families as well..but what pisses me off is that women don't react in the right way..they should be able to stand up to their superiors in such situations..a line should be drawn & it shouldn't be crossed..

[Kaalle]

I hear these stories alot..women being harassed at work place..there's something terribly wrong with the work place ethics here..knowing very well the women are married the old farts have to make a move on them..the karoake bar small wife & the University gik or whatever it's called is just not enough..they've to destroy perfectly happy families as well..but what pisses me off is that women don't react in the right way..they should be able to stand up to their superiors in such situations..a line should be drawn & it shouldn't be crossed..

Consider how male dominated Thailand is and also how thais bow down to authority almost like a natural reflex.

[B1TcoinLife]

I hear these stories alot..women being harassed at work place..there's something terribly wrong with the work place ethics here..knowing very well the women are married the old farts have to make a move on them..the karoake bar small wife & the University gik or whatever it's called is just not enough..they've to destroy perfectly happy families as well..but what pisses me off is that women don't react in the right way..they should be able to stand up to their superiors in such situations..a line should be drawn & it shouldn't be crossed..

If they stand up for themselves it usually ends up in violence

We called the police before on a neighbor beating up his wife after hearing her screaming and they were not interested in getting involved...Is just a domestic issue, even if she's getting slapped around the house and screaming for help

The regular men here can control women easily without much risk of any comeback , put them in a position of power over the women and it only makes matters worse as the women are afraid to report them for perceived wrongdoing and nobody wants anyone else to lose face so they would rather ignore the problem until it eventually ends in a murder....

[F4UCorsair]

Alright, there has been too many mention of asses. We need pictures.

And one a$$h**e , the boss.

Edited July 20, 2016 by F4UCorsair

[DekDaeng]

Mate, something similar happened to my wife. But you gotta be cool. Me and my wife laugh about it, and indeed I'm a little proud that my wife, now of 35 years, still gets to turn heads. But I know for a fact that my wife would never let some creepy Thai guy near her. She's got too much class. Respect your wife, have a laugh about this with her and don't let it get you down. Cheers!

You PHFALANG! Chance you win 0.000000000000000000000000000000000001%!

Trust the missers, don't go off half cucumbered -

But keep an eye on it.

[umbanda]

Nothing uncommon on the Country of Gossips. Better to ignore it, and let Thais to resolve in their way.....

yea right , i want to meet your wife / gf , like to hear what she say to your golden advise v...................hahaha hahaha hahaha

She will say nothing.. She will just pass to her friends...and sometimes strangers.. what I said or did about....like most Thai women do.

[BKResort]

If you have a beautiful, and a lot younger wife, most Thai men..and some farangs, may believe that she may be a good target for seduction. That comes with your choice....

For you to worry about, means that your choice probably was not right