Friend has Alzeimers-is alone

[Neocon]

Does he have any family in the US willing to assist. It's much easier for a family member to deal with the US Veterans Admin. in a case like this.

From what you describe, he will soon need full time care and is certainly eligible for VA benefits and long term care. It would seem to be his best option but the sooner the better while he still has some mental facility.

If no relatives that you know, I agree with the advice to first contact the US Embassy but don't expect very much info as they do not maintain a veterans office there.

JUSMAG ( http://www.jusmagthai.com/) is an organization in Bangkok supporting US military. They were really helpful to me when I had questions about VA benefits available to me here. Several members monitor this forum and I would not be surprised if they contact you. If they do not, go to their website and contact them....

Some VA "Help Lines"

1 800 827 1000, 1 800 273 8255, 1 800 222 VETS (8387)

Kudos on you for helping your friend.

Did you get your VA info from post 9951 VFW service officer Duffy or from the Jusmag retired affairs office? Comrade Duffy is a reliable source of information but post 9951 is not a part of Jusmag despite Jusmag giving the post some leftover office space. It's my opinion that Jusmag has limited usefulness for veterans with VA questions. The sergeant major in the back office knows a few things about VA benefits though his knowledge is limited and I believe he and the others won't directly help veterans with paperwork or repatriation.

The military attache' only makes referrals to the consular section or to Jusmag. The consular section refers local VA benefits help for veterans to the VFW or American Legion - https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/federal-benefits/veterans-affairs/other-general-assistance-with-va-benefits/

I echo the kudos to the OP and others sincerely trying to help. We should all be so fortunate in our time of need. Godspeed to the veteran in need!

[F4UCorsair]

My friend lives in Pattaya. I just found out he has Alzeimers. The GF and her son he has taken good care of have gone to Bangkok. He is alone and can't drive or use his computer. He said he is looking for some one who can care for him. Any good and helpful ideas would be appreciated.

Please don't make insensitive comments. He is a good guy. Former American military and commercial pilot.

I really feel for him, and you, and I wish you all the best in finding a solution, although I can add no useful ideas.

Very loyal of the gf and son!! Mercenary pair. Please take whatever precautions necessary to safeguard his assets against them.

Edited July 23, 2016 by F4UCorsair

[balo]

My mom had Alzheimers and I'm always worried I will catch it myself.She did not live a healthy lifestyle,

I believe a healthy lifestyle can prevent Alzheimers. Lots of vitamins and exercise daily.

But if it's too late it's too late . It's not really living , You might as well pull the plug,

[Capt Rob]

Here in Chiang Mai there are a few clinics offering care of such folk. These are commercial operations and the level of care seemingly does vary with price.

From a friend who had his wife cared for in one it was within his reach financially ( managed on his pension income ) and was " way better than that which he could have afforded in the US.

Presuming he does have some retirement income this might be the way to go, not withstanding the issues revolving around power of attorney etc.

[supersomchai]

As a nurse that works in the elderly care sector in the Uk and visits thailand frequently,my first thoughts on this is that i would find it hard to trust a care home in thailand.

The regulations are so stringent in uk and usa to safeguard vunerable adults as dementia patients are so totally open to abuse .As such the government have introduced very strict guidelines and inspections ,which do not exist in thailand...i think finding a good care home in thailand would be luck at best...and you would have to accept the risk of being looked after in a poorly regulated environment.

[MyFriend You]

Contact the local VFW Post.

http://www.vfwpost9876.com/

There is a Veterans Hospital in Manila - the VFW here can assist with that as well - I can only imagine what it must be like living alone with this dreadful disease, in fact,its the only disease I am afraid of, not having full control over my facualties mind. If I was in town, I'd like to meet him, but am in another country right now. Should be in Pattaya in two weeks though, maybe I can PM you, I am also Retired Army and would like to help if I can..

[elgenon]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

Can you please tell me how to get in touch with whoever provided the in home care?

I am just a casual friend and I am here on a tourist visa so I have to leave soon.

Hope to give him options.

[elgenon]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

50k/week! Wow! We have one now for 18k/month, with a backup that we pay 10k/month. We had another that we paid 22k/month, but she didn't work out. We are here to deal with them on a regular basis, though do leave for months at a time and they take care of everything.

My mother is late state Alzheimer's. Pretty bad.

Not too far from us is a live in facility that's 45k/month for a relatively nice 1br apartment.

Care to share your resource? Thanks

[elgenon]

Thanks to all the caring responses!!!

[watcharacters]

NancyL is the person I'd recommend you contact.

She's both helpful as well as a good person..

[craigt3365]

As a nurse that works in the elderly care sector in the Uk and visits thailand frequently,my first thoughts on this is that i would find it hard to trust a care home in thailand.

The regulations are so stringent in uk and usa to safeguard vunerable adults as dementia patients are so totally open to abuse .As such the government have introduced very strict guidelines and inspections ,which do not exist in thailand...i think finding a good care home in thailand would be luck at best...and you would have to accept the risk of being looked after in a poorly regulated environment.

I think the same can be said of my home country, the US. I've heard horror stories. Some from a caregiver we hired that use to work in one. That's why it's recommended relatives be nearby so they can visit on a regular basis and see how things are going.

I went to a home here and the standards were terrible. Steps everywhere, even into the adjoining bathroom. Long drops off a walkway around the building, with no guard rails, etc.

Plus, if serious medical care is needed, we all know the quality here is lacking. Especially if you live outside Bangkok. Even for those with VA benefits, you have to pay first, then get reimbursed some 70% months later. And payment is normally required upfront before the hospital will do anything. Thus, the necessity for a reliable person to be nearby who has access to money.

[craigt3365]

We've gotten our caregivers from a variety of sources. Primarily relatives or people my wife knew in her village. We did hire one from a local nursing school. A recent grad. But she just couldn't take it. Quit after one month. We also got one from our village. Use to work for the office manager. Worked out very well. But all were obtained with the fantastic work of my wife.

Does this person live in a village of some sort? Maids talk to each other and can find people to help. Just a thought. We've gotten a few that way also.

[elgenon]

No, he lives in a condo on Beach road.

[elgenon]

NancyL is the person I'd recommend you contact.

She's both helpful as well as a good person.

Thanks.I am aware of NancyL and was hoping she would join in the thread.

[NancyL]

Contact the local VFW Post.

http://www.vfwpost9876.com/

There is a Veterans Hospital in Manila - the VFW here can assist with that as well - I can only imagine what it must be like living alone with this dreadful disease, in fact,its the only disease I am afraid of, not having full control over my facualties mind. If I was in town, I'd like to meet him, but am in another country right now. Should be in Pattaya in two weeks though, maybe I can PM you, I am also Retired Army and would like to help if I can..

The VA hospital in Manila does not offer care for veterans who aren't resident in the Philippines and for care that isn't service related. I've known elderly veterans from Thailand who have gone to Manila seeking care without reading the VA Manila website only to find themselves turned away.

[NancyL]

As a nurse that works in the elderly care sector in the Uk and visits thailand frequently,my first thoughts on this is that i would find it hard to trust a care home in thailand.

The regulations are so stringent in uk and usa to safeguard vunerable adults as dementia patients are so totally open to abuse .As such the government have introduced very strict guidelines and inspections ,which do not exist in thailand...i think finding a good care home in thailand would be luck at best...and you would have to accept the risk of being looked after in a poorly regulated environment.

There are several care homes in Chiang Mai that are very good and operating to western standards. Thai caregivers are very sweet, and caring. So unlike some of the people who provided the day-to-day hands-on care my father received at a fairly expensive nursing home in the U.S. Many of them were "just doing a job". He would tell me stories about a few of them -- not all -- and repeat how they talked to him. It wasn't the sort of language he normally used, so I don't think he was making up stories in an effort to be taken out of the nursing home.

The best of the Chiang Mai care facilities have westerners in management positions and also some native English speakers interacting with the residents.

Dok Kaew Assisted Living Facility is run by the Church of Christ in Thailand (although religion isn't "pushed" on the residents) and many of the residents are from overseas. Vivo Bene is run by Swiss people and they have English-speaking residents. It's quite upscale and priced accordingly. I'd have no qualms about suggesting either of these facilities. It's really a matter of budget.

[NancyL]

Is he a sufficiently good friend that he might sign a power of attorney over his finances to you (or to another trusted fellow countryman) This way at least his finances could have some protection. His GF may just have been too scared to deal with the illness or worse still may not have understood it, on the other hand the fact that she up and left makes it likely that she, or perhaps her family, might try to milk his income. This way he could have a degree of protection while the other options are examined. If you or someone had full power of attorney then, if he has gone past the point of making a lucid decision, you would be able to select the best option for him. No matter what happens it is a truly sad case and you may have to be true to your friendship. good luck

When a public or private organization paying monthly benefits is notified that a person in this situation has Alzheimer's and can no longer care for himself it's possible they will suspend benefits payments until a fiduciary volunteers and is appointed by them regardless if someone holds power of attorney. Different organizations have different rules. The same with financial institutions.

If the person become a resident in a care facility, then that facility could be designated as a "representative payee" for the purpose of managing the pension income. Here in Chiang Mai, someone from the U.S. Consulate visits the care facilities from time-to-time to check in on the U.S. residents.

[supersomchai]

I think if you decide a thai carehome is the best/only suitable option go check some out,recommended or not.

The criteria to look for is the staff to patient ratios ,are there enough staff on duty to support the residents,anything worse than 10-1 is a nightmare ,but 5-1 is more like it ,that is carers ,nursing staff could be higher.

Ask what if the staff have dementia training qualifications,

Moving and handling equipment/training,doctors check ups,check the residents are being fed properly/weighed.

Do they have social activities regularly or are they left in their rooms or in front of a tv all day (see that in england too often).

If you visit be a pain and overstay visiting time you might be suprised what you see.

The list is endless but you can see where iam going,if the home ticks these boxes ...its good..best to look for yourself and dont take peoples word for it.

Anyway good luck and take care.

[Sheryl]

....Not too far from us is a live in facility that's 45k/month for a relatively nice 1br apartment.

Could you provide the name and (if there is one) website?

Thanks

[Sheryl]

You have gotten some good suggestions here re long term care facilities. While at this point either a resident program or live-in help might work he is eventually going to need resident care, and live-ins are problematic if there is no family o supervise them.

Getting him into a good, in-patient long term care faclity is key - preferrably one where the US Consulate keeps an eye on quality of care, such as NancyL mentioned in CM.

IMPORTANT: he needs to appoint someone Power of Attorney to handle his financial affairs and also make medical decisions for him, this is very, very important. It could be you or other close friend, or family back home, but it needs to be someone and as soon as possible.

[Niggi]

There is a spezalised place in Chiang Mai

http://www.vivobene.co.th/

[seancbk]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

Can you please tell me how to get in touch with whoever provided the in home care?

I am just a casual friend and I am here on a tourist visa so I have to leave soon.

Hope to give him options.

Sorry I should have perhaps made it more obvious. My mother is in the UK.

My Sister and I pay 50,000 THB a week for her care in the UK.

[seancbk]

My mom had Alzheimers and I'm always worried I will catch it myself.She did not live a healthy lifestyle,

I believe a healthy lifestyle can prevent Alzheimers. Lots of vitamins and exercise daily.

But if it's too late it's too late . It's not really living , You might as well pull the plug,

You don't "catch Alzheimers"

[WishWashMan]

If the OP's friend knows and accepts he has Alzheimers and is looking for someone to take care of him then maybe the best option would be to find him a residential care home in Thailand.

My father passed away last year from the effects of dementia and my mother also has it. She refuses to leave their house and go into care, so instead my sister and I pay for full time live-in care to look after Mum.

It costs about 50,000 THB a week, but at least we know she is being looked after. Both my Sister and I live overseas.

Given my Mum's overall physical health and current age it is likely that she will live another 5 or 6 years, maybe longer.

If there was any way to get her to Thailand I'd do it but unfortunately that is out of the question.

i think op is looking for a girl to take care of his friend not a nursing home.

[Sheryl]

I would advise against getting someone to take care of him at home given that there are no friends or family to keep an eye/supervise.

[Farang99]

This Chiang Mai option is not that expensive -

Dok Kaew Gardens

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/citylife-archive/dok-kaew-gardens-chiang-mais-first-retirement-home-for-expats-and-thais/

The website and email address in the article do not seem to exist in real life!

[NancyL]

If you do a Google search on "Dok Kaew Assisted Living Chiang Mai" you'll find their current website. Also, their Facebook and several more newspaper and magazine articles.

Admittedly, they don't have slick website like Vivo Bene, but the quality of care is very good at a fraction of the price.

[NancyL]

I would advise against getting someone to take care of him at home given that there are no friends or family to keep an eye/supervise.

And taking care of someone with dementia soon becomes a job beyond what one "Thai girl" can do if that girl doesn't have special training or a long-term special commitment to that person, i.e. being a loving wife or life partner.

It will get to the point where he needs someone around 24/7 to supervise -- make sure he doesn't wander off, help with toileting (people forget how to use the toilet and/or develop incontinence) get him ready for bed, help with feeding, etc. Once it's to that point it's necessary to employ three people to avoid burnout. Plus have someone to supervise the three employees. And, depending on the type of dementia, he may develop gait and mobility issues where it becomes necessary to have assistance in moving around. Then you need to have two strong people to help with the simplest of tasks like getting out of bed in the morning, taking a shower, going out in the car to see a doctor, etc. Small women may not be suitable as caregivers.

Once it's to the point where full-time supervision is needed, it's usually cheaper for the person to go into a care home like Dok Kaew Assisted Living.

[craigt3365]

There are a few here in Pattaya, though they do tend to come and go. A few I've followed up on are no longer here.

Z Breeze is run by one of our neighbors. I've not been there in a few years, but she did provide us a live in caregiver to fill a gap for a month or so. The owner runs a nursing school in Sattahip.

http://www.zbreezecare.com/

https://www.facebook.com/zbreezehealthcare/

Here's one that was recommended above. Seems pretty good!

http://www.nursinghomethailand.com/web/home.php

In Thai, but seems many are listed.

http://www.eldercarethailand.com/

[louse1953]

I saw a documentary about some Scandinavian country doing this. Up in Chiang Mai. It wasn't cheap. But, cheaper than back home!

It's really important to have relatives close by so you can keep an eye on them. Having somebody here all alone, with nobody who can make (trusted) financial decisions, is really tough.

Families are the worst skimmers.