You cad

I want to learn more British curses and insults, so fill this thread up with a few pages of flith please.

mate

I just came across the ultimate... I stopped the movie I'm watching to come here and post this.,

Movie: Sexy Beast, ray winstone, Ben kingsley, etc...

"Problem? Fuc.kin' Problem'? You're the fuc-king problem, you fuc.kin Dr White Honkin' Jam Rag Ucking Spunk Bubble"

I love it, I don't know what it means, but I love it!!

Thaibebop - you're nothing but a big buftie!

Thaibebop - you're nothing but a big buftie!

Or a WankBag, go figure!

Thaibebop - you're nothing but a big buftie!

What is that?

Thaibebop - you're nothing but a big buftie!

What is that?

It means he likes you .....

A buftie is a Scottish name for a man who prefers the company of fellow gentlemen to the company of ladies.

aka a poof, tea fairy, pansy or homo

In the company of men I am comfortable, yet I always accompany the ladies.

Just came across a gem of a website for you Beboppers.

Roger's Profanisaurus

Oi! You guys forgot my favourite, you useless bunch of Muppets!

Also all tourists in Cornwall are not so politely referred to as Grockles, whereas tourists in Devon are not so politely referred to as Emmits.

As in "where's that stupid grockle think he's goin to then?"

I know, I know, the irony!

A buftie is a Scottish name for a man who prefers the company of fellow gentlemen to the company of ladies.

Lol im Scottish, but ive nvr heard that term. Poofter & pooftie ive heard, but not buftie. Is it possible you misheard pooftie as buftie?

Others:

<deleted>/twatoid

Numptie

Fukwit

Tosser

Tit

spastic/spaz (sorry for the un pc nature..erm..)

Epi

Arse-bandit

Minger

Skank

Gimp

Big Girls Blouse

...im sure ill think of more. Of course none of these base words are an active part of my vocabulary.

Just came across a gem of a website for you Beboppers.

Roger's Profanisaurus

Excellent. Never heard this one before.

gusset typist

A woman who wanks. Also gusset pianist. As in "I've heard she plays the gusset piano".

Just found another one.

Anus= Doctor speak for the "Council Gritter"

Council Gritter meaning:-

Shitter; arsehol_e; dirtbox. As in: "Watch that one. I hear he takes it up the council gritter". Also Gary (Glitter), apple (fritter).

Mine's a pint and you're a c*nt!

Get back to the circus you c*nt!

Face like a fookin welder's bench.

Face like a bulldog lickin piss of a thistle.

Chat up lines

D'you like flowers luv? - yeah - well get yer two lips around this!

Fancy a <deleted>? - piss off! - d'you mind lying down while I have one!

Ah, jackr, you're a real fookwit, sure......

Boat race like a bag of spanners

P1ss flaps like Buccaneer bomb doors

But really, if you want bad vocabluary you must ask the Aussies to contribute something. Although in all fairness I must say the foul language to them is not insulting, just a way of life.

Examples.

" Good fukcing morning"

" How are you, you <deleted>?"

" This fukcing beer tastes like p1sswater"

" <deleted> OFF" this normally means 'No' in Oz

"<deleted> OFF" this also means 'I don't believe you'

" Too <deleted> true, Blue" whereas this means 'yes'

In fact, in Australian parlance, the word <deleted> MUST contribute to about 35% of all vocabulary. Other words, like <deleted>, <deleted>, Bastard, or**** can be used but must no way interfere with the 35%.

The men are sometimes worse of course.

Close but no cigar!

Typical greeting for a couple of aussie blokes who aint seen each other in two weeks.

"How the <deleted> ya goin ya cock eyed c%nt, yewd think a f&cken slack arsed w&nker wood call his bluddy mate for a f^cken coldie once in a blue bluddy moon yu <deleted> faced pr#ck. F!ucken good to see ya maaaaate!"

Closer to 50%.

Shit I'm glad this is in Bedlam!

"How the <deleted> ya goin ya cock eyed c%nt, yewd think a f&cken slack arsed w&nker wood call his bluddy mate for a f^cken coldie once in a blue bluddy moon yu <deleted> faced pr#ck. F!ucken good to see ya maaaaate!"

I thought this was an English language forum....

This is great!! Keep 'em comin'!!!

You Aussie

Sheep Shaggin' Kiwi C**t

Wool Muncher

"ya mother played full back for the all blacks"

"south sea pom"

"wannabe aussie"

"ah go grab a skinny's catalog and have a wank ya Kiwi pri*k" (explanation required - Skinny sells sheep skin products ie boots, coats etc")

I got thousands more of these

CB

In Wales the locals would lean over and just say "English" it was the highest insult they could offer. I found it also worked in Scotland and Ireland. Not to mention Australia, New Zealand, Canada (especially if the person was of French decent). In fact it pretty well works all around the world where the English have at one stage stepped foot. I find it particularly useful here in bedlam - it doesn't get the ###### treatment but transfers the necessary venom and intent when we write "well he is English"

CB

In Wales the locals would lean over and just say "English" it was the highest insult they could offer.

Yeah, well, who gives a f*ckin smeg what the piss ant mother f*ckin sheep shaggin grease-monkey taffy c*nts say or do; the hedge-monkey, cave-dwellin tw*ts

no offence like

She’s got a face like a box full of frogs, tits like slate layers nailbags and a fanny like a ripped out fireplace.

I was thinking that I may merge "The Last Word" with this one and form "The Last Insult ©"

Each poster will add a new one, no repeats of previously used insults will be allowed.

Bonus points will be added if you can add regional or cultural variations

Double bonus points to anyone that comes up with a great insult against those sheep shagging kiwis or the soap dodgin' poms because they deserve it

I suspect it will have a life of about 2 days before the whole of Bedlam becomes total anarchy and gets closed down.

Could be a great way to go out though

CB

When one is English, one never lowers oneself to the same level as that attained by our previous subjects...............................tossers.

In Wales the locals would lean over and just say "English" it was the highest insult they could offer. I found it also worked in Scotland and Ireland. Not to mention Australia, New Zealand, Canada (especially if the person was of French decent). In fact it pretty well works all around the world where the English have at one stage stepped foot.

As you say CB, it's the "highest" form of insult. Which is much better than the "lowest" form of insult, which would be someone calling you an Aussie.

A good Ozzie rugby mate had a very amusing (if not very successful) chat up line which went along the lines of:

Him "do you want a dance?

Her: "No"

Him: "Ok....." pauses as if in deep thought..... then always, always always always in a very cheerful eureka type exclamation "Ahhh, so do you want a root?"

I never saw it work but it was always very amusing, especially after 5th or 6th attempt, he never gave up faith in "his line"

A good Ozzie rugby mate had a very amusing (if not very successful) chat up line which went along the lines of:

Him "do you want a dance?

Her: "No"

Him: "Ok....." pauses as if in deep thought..... then always, always always always in a very cheerful eureka type exclamation "Ahhh, so do you want a root?"

I never saw it work but it was always very amusing, especially after 5th or 6th attempt, he never gave up faith in "his line"

I think this one would work in Garden Centres

Or maths class

YMCA, Chiang Mai, Thai language class, white desk at the back of my class, big black graffitied words: 'fuc_k'. Unbelievable.

(p.s. tis a young arty Japanese guy sits back there, not a brit btw. Duno if he did it though )