Getting ex-Girlfriend to leave the apartment

[chrissables]

3 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Human nature doesn't work that way. The OP has taken care of the child for several years and there are therefore feelings involved

 

Of course it will work if you are strong. SHE was wrong, SHE needs to learn. Typical Thailand thinking, what can i get away with? 

 

Until people are responsible for their actions, (think corruption, driving etc) the country will never change.

[MikeyIdea]

2 minutes ago, chrissables said:

Of course it will work if you are strong. SHE was wrong, SHE needs to learn. Typical Thailand thinking, what can i get away with? 

 

Until people are responsible for their actions, (think corruption, driving etc) the country will never change.

 

I am glad to have read in this thread that the OP is more humane than you are.

 

You go on punishing the child for what the mother has done and feel proud of yourself

 

Edited November 22, 2016 by MikeyIdea

[chrissables]

1 minute ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

I am glad to have read in this thread that the OP is more humane than you are

Actually it's more humane to teach people that their cheating, lying.......has consequences. 

Bending over and taking it up the arse as you would teaches them it's ok and to carry on.

Are you saying if it was you, you would keep paying? Really, think about it. You and your other half of 8 years is <deleted> around with a mate of yours and you would still pay because it's humane? 

Easy to say, you would never do.

[AlexRich]

10 minutes ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

I am glad to have read in this thread that the OP is more humane than you are.

 

You go on punishing the child for what the mother has done and feel proud of yourself

 

 

The Mother has punished the child, not the OP. The child presumably has a biological father? Time for him to step up to the plate.

 

[AlexRich]

3 minutes ago, chrissables said:

Actually it's more humane to teach people that their cheating, lying.......has consequences. 

Bending over and taking it up the arse as you would teaches them it's ok and to carry on.

Are you saying if it was you, you would keep paying? Really, think about it. You and your other half of 8 years is <deleted> around with a mate of yours and you would still pay because it's humane? 

Easy to say, you would never do.

 

I'd bung her a few thousand baht for the Herpes treatment that she will need ... as long as she hadn't passed it on to me ... a gratitude payment, if you like.

 

[MikeyIdea]

9 minutes ago, chrissables said:

Actually it's more humane to teach people that their cheating, lying.......has consequences. 

Bending over and taking it up the arse as you would teaches them it's ok and to carry on.

Are you saying if it was you, you would keep paying? Really, think about it. You and your other half of 8 years is <deleted> around with a mate of yours and you would still pay because it's humane? 

Easy to say, you would never do.

 

I would do exactly what the OP also confirms that he will do. I would stop paying for the girl and throw her out but continue to help the child

 

[Jack Mountain]

Thinking what she can do to the furniture or even the house I find it pity that you couldn't wait telling her till you are back in Thailand.

[DrDweeb]

38 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

 

The Mother has punished the child, not the OP. The child presumably has a biological father? Time for him to step up to the plate.

 

She is a widow

[AlexRich]

1 minute ago, DrDweeb said:

She is a widow

 

Difficult, of course. But still, not your responsibility anymore. She has to take responsibility for her own actions. 

[DSJPC]

simple...change the locks while she's away!!!

[MikeyIdea]

2 minutes ago, DSJPC said:

simple...change the locks while she's away!!!

 

You mean while the son is at school? Or perhaps while the mother fetches the child from school.

 

Hit 2 birds with one stone?

 

Edited November 22, 2016 by MikeyIdea

[A1Str8]

7 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

Hmmmm, the police has no jurisdiction to act of course, this is civil and not criminal law.

 

As owner he has the right to petition a court to remove her

 

This wont go that far. The girl friend will do the honourable thing and sadly accept her mistake and take her son and leave

 

They can remove her without any issue. There's no need for court. 

[MikeyIdea]

Just now, A1Str8 said:

They can remove her without any issue. There's no need for court. 

 

Nope, not criminal law. They have no right to act

 

[misterphil]

Ex-mrsphil got caught messing about while I was at work. Threw her out by her ear then cut up all her clothes, bagged them up and threw them in the street with her. Smashed up her phone and laptop while I was at it too. 

 

She scratched all her face and arms with her nails and phoned the police and said id beat her up the stupid bitch lol

 

Once they realise they've lost everything they go fookin mental, be very careful shes not a crackpot. 

[12DrinkMore]

I suggest

 

1. When you go back to the condo you take a friend and video the events.

 

2. Do not use any physical force.

 

3. Do not rip up and destroy her stuff.

 

4. Offer her a wad of cash, tell her you're sorry, but you can't live together anymore. A round 50,000 comes to mind. I will doubtless be shot down for either being a mean old git or ridiculed for offering anything whatsoever.  But the sight of a large wad (maybe use 500's to make it look bigger) can do wonders to calm a woman down.

 

Oh, and thanks for the reminder never to let one move in permanently ever again.

Edited November 22, 2016 by 12DrinkMore

[stephenterry]

I handled a similar situation by agreeing a meet in a public place - BigC foodhall is ideal, where you both can have a heart to heart, presumably acting like adults and not throwing toys out of the pram.

 

There's always three sides to any conflict - yours, hers and what really happened to make her and the mutual friend act the way she/he did. IMO, I think it's premature to make any major decisions while the hurt is raw, and I would advise you to create physical space on your return to Thailand and not jump right in to add more angst.

 

I'd even consider staying in a hotel/guest-house for a few days on your return, to work out just how to go about it, as without doubt she'll not want to leave her comfort zone until you ease her out - perhaps by you renting an apartment for (say) a month where she can try and re-establish her life and get used to not living in your condo apartment and being totally supported by you.

 

To just kick her out without any financial support (apart from the child's school fees), while bringing temporary relief for you by exercising your power, is really not the way to break up, and I advise you to reconsider acting in a more humane manner as if the roles were reversed.

 

However, I accept you're not in such a place right now, and believe me, you will need time to dissipate your anger. 

 

   

[crickets]

you bait her out of the room with something then change locks on doors when she is away. there will be tears and u r right about it getting ugly.

[Katipo]

I would wait until you are back in the country before insisting on anything. Even though you fully in the right, she might decide to steal from you or trash your place. Some individuals take desperate measures when faced with a desperate situation.

[roo860]

Her and the Italian are gonna have herpes all their life.
Karma?

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[scorecard]

On 11/21/2016 at 11:12 AM, Peterw42 said:

Also change passwords, pin numbers etc

 

And change door locks or passcards to the actual door of the apartment / condo.

 

And change keys or passcards to the main entrance or lift lobby etc.

 

Perhaps also give a clearly worded letter (not hysterical and no explanatory details) to the juristic person or the building manager, English and Thai if possible, to say she is no longer allowed to enter your room or the building. Attach a copy of the chanute, tabien baan book or whatever to show that you have a right to lodge such a letter.

 

Have two copies of all of this and ask the person you hand it to to sign the second copy to prove receipt of your letter.

 

Another possibility, same letter and attachments and handed to both the juristic person and the building manager, and ask both to sign. Also put a copy of the letter on the condo noticeboard or even on an internal wall of the lift if that's allowed in your building.

 

I strongly agree with the poster who suggested pay for a room for 1 or 2 weeks for her to get reorganized. Not for her but out of concern for the child. 

 

Good luck.

Edited November 22, 2016 by scorecard

[DrDweeb]

11 minutes ago, Katipo said:

I would wait until you are back in the country before insisting on anything. Even though you fully in the right, she might decide to steal from you or trash your place. Some individuals take desperate measures when faced with a desperate situation.

There is nothing to trash that I cannot replace or live without. They are just things.

 

But you are correct, desperate people do desperate things.

[DrDweeb]

20 minutes ago, stephenterry said:

I handled a similar situation by agreeing a meet in a public place - BigC foodhall is ideal, where you both can have a heart to heart, presumably acting like adults and not throwing toys out of the pram.

 

There's always three sides to any conflict - yours, hers and what really happened to make her and the mutual friend act the way she/he did. IMO, I think it's premature to make any major decisions while the hurt is raw, and I would advise you to create physical space on your return to Thailand and not jump right in to add more angst.

 

I'd even consider staying in a hotel/guest-house for a few days on your return, to work out just how to go about it, as without doubt she'll not want to leave her comfort zone until you ease her out - perhaps by you renting an apartment for (say) a month where she can try and re-establish her life and get used to not living in your condo apartment and being totally supported by you.

 

To just kick her out without any financial support (apart from the child's school fees), while bringing temporary relief for you by exercising your power, is really not the way to break up, and I advise you to reconsider acting in a more humane manner as if the roles were reversed.

 

However, I accept you're not in such a place right now, and believe me, you will need time to dissipate your anger. 

 

   

I am not so much angry, as profoundly disappointed. I have no intention of going back to the apartment while she is there. I may sneak in and get some clothes etc, but otherwise I will be staying in a hotel.

My current activity is trying to get the slimy toad Italian to step up to the plate and support her. Unlikely to happen, but it is an approach worth pursuing.

I haven't confronted her or the snake with evidence yet, I continue to give them the opportunity to fess up and do the right thing and piss off out of my life. So far they are still denying what is provably true.

[eddie61]

I would consider selling the condo.... I know its a dramatic step, but it will be messy.

 

Keep an eye on your member when you are asleep, and make sure sharp knives are out of reach during bye-bye row. I would definitely want witnesses present when the showdown comes, preferably police if you can organise it. Condominium manager might help.........

 

I would change the key immediately after eviction. I think its very much a matter of planning your moves.

[DrDweeb]

17 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

And change door locks or passcards to the actual door of the apartment / condo.

 

And change keys or passcards to the main entrance or lift lobby etc.

 

Perhaps also give a clearly worded letter (not hysterical and no explanatory details) to the juristic person or the building manager, English and Thai if possible, to say she is no longer allowed to enter your room or the building. Attach a copy of the chanute, tabien baan book or whatever to show that you have a right to lodge such a letter.

 

Have two copies of all of this and ask the person you hand it to to sign the second copy to prove receipt of your letter.

 

Another possibility, same letter and attachments and handed to both the juristic person and the building manager, and ask both to sign. Also put a copy of the letter on the condo noticeboard or even on an internal wall of the lift if that's allowed in your building.

 

I strongly agree with the poster who suggested pay for a room for 1 or 2 weeks for her to get reorganized. Not for her but out of concern for the child. 

 

Good luck.

Oh, I'll get her a room until end of school term so he can finish the year at that school. After that, she will need to get extra funding from somewhere else. I don't want to force her onto the street, that would destroy everything about her that is good, and would be very detrimental to her son, who is a great and smart kid.

 

Cost is not an issue, however the principle is - I do not take kindly to those who betray my trust. Since she has made her bed, she needs to lie in it, and feel some not inconsiderable discomfort while doing so.

[elgordo38]

On 11/21/2016 at 9:57 AM, DrDweeb said:

We are not talking about a street slut, just a faithless bitch who thought she could get away with it.

Yes the worst kind. Bring a younger better looking babe home and introduce her as the new maid. You owning the condo makes it tough. You could pack her bags and put them in the hallway and change the locks. Be sure to put an 8x12 picture of the perpetrator that stole her heart on top of the bag and copies of any proofs you have. Put maybe 5,000 bahts inside the bag for mad money your being mad of course. Make sure there are no financial strings attached first no card pin numbers joint accounts etc. things that can come back and bite you and of course things will get ugly. 

[Bangkok Barry]

17 hours ago, A1Str8 said:

Call her tell her that you have evidence that she cheated on you. Show it to her. Then tell her that she has to leave until this and that date. Warn her that if she doesn't you will have her removed by the police. Remind her that as the owner you have all the rights to do so. Then do it if necessary. 

it won't be ugly unless you make it so. I have done it several times already. Just don't engage in any argument etc with her. 

You have your mind made up. you have evidence. The rest is insignificant. 

 

You either pick very poor partners, then, or you have a serious personal problem. Actually, the first would also be the result of the second. It's rather sad that you can't maintain a relationship and raises all kinds of questions about you.

Edited November 22, 2016 by Bangkok Barry

[acid thunder]

55 minutes ago, scorecard said:

I strongly agree with the poster who suggested pay for a room for 1 or 2 weeks for her to get reorganized. Not for her but out of concern for the child. 

 

Better to send her back to her parents. 

[acid thunder]

45 minutes ago, DrDweeb said:

I haven't confronted her or the snake with evidence yet, I continue to give them the opportunity to fess up and do the right thing and piss off out of my life. So far they are still denying what is provably true.

 

If you insist on either or both of them confessing then you're only giving her leverage to argue her case.

 

Personally I wouldn't even bother.  Lay down the law and insist she moves out and don't provide an opportunity for her to negotiate.  You've already stated that you are 100% certain that she's done the dirty so why complicate matters?

[yogi100]

2 hours ago, MikeyIdea said:

 

I am glad to have read in this thread that the OP is more humane than you are.

 

You go on punishing the child for what the mother has done and feel proud of yourself

 

 

How has anyone apart from the mother punished the child?

 

Kids are more interested in playing with their chums than getting bothered by the cavortions of mothers and step fathers. These type of women waste little time in getting another sucker to take up the slack. This is not directed at DrDweeb personally but it's how they regard men in general especially when the woman is Thai and the man in question is a falang.

[yogi100]

1 hour ago, DrDweeb said:

She is a widow

 

Are you sure.

 

I've met quite a few Thai girls who've told me that their Thai husband is dead, in fact too many for it to be feasible. Usually down to motor bike accidents.