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Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand?


calbear09

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When I say move, it could be a temporary move of course.

 

Me: 29 years old from California. I have saved up a decent amount of money considering my age. I purchased my home here when i was 25 and also received inheritance when my mother unfortunately passed away. I have been to Thailand twice once through a volunteer organization and the 2nd time to take a TEFL course. I came back shortly after the course was completed because I thought the work permit / visa runs / knocking on doors for employment was too much of a hassle and now I regret returning home soon.

 

As the title suggests I have not had much luck with relationships here in America and to be honest don't come across many girls / young ladies whom I find attractive. Yes, I am into Asian girls. This would be my main reason for coming back to LOS however the lifestyle of teaching english also beats my office job where everyone is running around completely stressed out..

 

Just thought I would post to get some feedback and thoughts..

 

 

 

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You're young enough to give an alternative life a good shot. Just have a safety net should it go tits up. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

I did similar, although finding a wife was the last thing I was looking for. 12 years later, I've got a great kid and an amazing wife.

Mother in Law's a bit bonkers though!!

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I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

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I came here at 26, now nearly 9 years later married with a kid. Life here is much better than back home, enjoy it while you are young. Having said that, I may return home in the next couple of years for a decade or so to secure myself and my family financially.

 

There are many paths through life, many like LannaGuy believe coming here when older is the best path, but personally I wouldn't swap the last 9 years for anything. Do whatever makes you happy, and then see how you can make it work best.

Edited by naboo
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Beware of the gold diggers type of women, witch almost any women in this country

weather they think they doing something wrong or not by using you as a walking

ATM machine,

as long as you keep your wits about you, and don't give/commit to more than you're

willing to lose, you be ok... otherwise, some of the ladies in this country are worth

marrying and befriending....

 

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I think the hardest part is finding a sincere woman, while many are looking for husbands not many are prepared to stick with them or do the hard yards plus they have someone else on the side much like thai men. If you can find yourself a genuine woman then go for it, otherwise you are in for a lot of disappointment.

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having a relationship with a woman is a hard thing, with a thai woman its even harder. only guy i know who i thought had a genuine relationship with a thai girl just announced he was breaking up with her even though they have 2 teenage kids. they only seem to stay if it is financially rewarding for them. i have a couple kids with a thai girl. she seems happy but i think she is most happy to be out of the bar. just hoping things stay calm for long enough for our kids to get through school. i would say enjoy your youth and worry about settling down in another decade or so if you want to have kids.

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Come & give it a go. Just listen to the intelligent guys above who say be careful of gold diggers & have a plan B

if things go arse up.

Don't listen to some of the soothsayers who just say NO.

They are bitter & some of them got bitten by their own manhood

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If you want a wife you might do better in the Philippines. Nothing wrong with Thais but unless you speak Thai well the language issue can become an obstacle when dealing with your future wifes relatives who might not understand your own culture well enough to be respectful of your needs.

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Best thing is to listen to your heart and do the things in life you want to do, but if the only reason is finding a girlfriend / wife here, think it over first ! You have to love many things in this country, not only the ladies...  like all the other people, the people in general, the food, the weather ( yes it can be annoyingly sticky, even after many years of living here ) and the general atmosphere here and the lack of rules and logic. I came here myself when I was around 33 and still don't regret any of it, happily married now with 2 kids, although I went through a few relationships with Thai ladies that didn't work out at all, and, yes, costed me some money also. But I enjoyed the ride !

Better to stay here a bit longer first, and see if you can make some money as a teacher ( and deal with immigration in this country ) and try a few different places ( and ladies ;) ) and decide step by step.  And yes, check some of the positive comments from the guys before me

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No reason why not to revert back to your original plan... for a year and then reassess... but come to learn about Thailand and the people, come to enjoy hte year teaching and if you find a wife, that is an extra... gravy on the cake [yecchh] - ok, icing on the potatoes [yecch] - - sure, icing on the cake but what I am trying to say is that sometimes it takes a few shots to get things right... 

 

If you are unsure?

 

Flip a coin - not that the coin flip will decide the matter but while it is in the air, you will know what you are hoping for...

 

welcome back.

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Better to move to Thai from my experience in terms of finding a good wife. Shit loads of Thai back home, and all are super rich to be able to be there, but at the end of the day why are many rich Thais in 'farangland'? They couldn't get a half decent job here, and just worked the family business, so maybe felt a bit 'insecure' in a way so felt the need to travel. Awesome people still, but in terms of securing a stable future then its all individual preferences. If you can find a girl who has a decent job and family here then really you are moving into a life that is already set up. Already has motorbikes, cars, and a house to move straight into. Kind of the opposite really to the above 'gold digging' comments. The guy may sound like a gold digger in a sense, but usually smart Thai realise what he has given up to move here (going developed world to undeveloped world in a sense).  Also its 2016, there is such a thing as working men and working women. I moved here when i was 26 with barely any money. Now I live in a big house on just under 2 rai of fenced land. I work so financially all im doing is helping out with the bills of the house and food obviously and putting away money for my baby daughter...the most I spend on is my dog, so saving money obviously occurs. It all comes down to if you can handle working here i think. It can be frustrating after coming from more developed countries. I think it would be better to find a girl to move for rather than moving here in the hope of finding someone. 

Edited by wildewillie89
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Why get married or tie yourself down at such a young age ? Enjoy the delights of Bangkok ( Not just Nana etc. There are plenty of fun middle class girls with an education and money to spend ) Or head down to Singapore, Jakarta or Taiwan.

so many girls interested in meeting a white guy. Just party it up for a few years.

I arrived in Asia at 22 but managed to avoid marriage till I was 50. Just too much choice to be limited to just one girl.. Also remember having a partner with a Thai passport makes travel a lot less spontaneous.

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You have got some good advice from many of the experienced guys on here. You sound like you are pretty smart with money....so far in your life. Ultimately money is the key to most things here. Life is a bit like gambling. If you are a smart gambler you figure out what you can afford to lose, and you never go past that amount. I would say do that with your money....make sure if it all turns to crap you are still financially solvent. As for a good woman....you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find THE woman. That said, my wife here is the best woman I have met in my life. Thai women are smart, clever, and the right one....very intelligent.....usually smarter than the farang. Take your time finding the right woman.....take your time learning/enjoying this country......and allow yourself to grow here. Good luck.

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4 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

I came here to find a wife after visiting a few times, was very successful, been together 11 years now. She is a highly educated college graduate, I went back home after I met her, and came again another twice, then decided to sell my house and move out here to be with her. Best decision I ever made.

I had plenty of success with girls back in Scotland being a professional musician, but trying to find one who did not drink or smoke was very hard.

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4 hours ago, nikmar said:

You're young enough to give an alternative life a good shot. Just have a safety net should it go tits up. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

I did similar, although finding a wife was the last thing I was looking for. 12 years later, I've got a great kid and an amazing wife.

Mother in Law's a bit bonkers though!!

nikmar The world is truly not perfect. 2 out 3 ain't all that bad. 

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4 hours ago, naboo said:

I came here at 26, now nearly 9 years later married with a kid. Life here is much better than back home, enjoy it while you are young. Having said that, I may return home in the next couple of years for a decade or so to secure myself and my family financially.

 

There are many paths through life, many like LannaGuy believe coming here when older is the best path, but personally I wouldn't swap the last 9 years for anything. Do whatever makes you happy, and then see how you can make it work best.

Life has many crossroads some good some bad. Nothing like a strong purse to help should you make a wrong turn. You sound like a level headed fellow very young though. If you come and listen to the Sirens song you may not make it back. Your 50 years away from my age and its both fast and slow at the same time. Good luck in navigating life. 

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"Is wanting to find a girlfriend/wife reason enough to move to Thailand? "
  I would say reason enough to VISIT Thailand. If you give up what you have in the US to come over here I think would be a mistake. Normally cannot get a job as a teacher without a degree but some get hired as a teacher's assistant or classroom helper but you won't be making much money  maybe $1,000 usd or a little more a month. I think would be better to make  many trips or stay for a few months if you can swing it  find a girl and then go back to US with her and earn a decent wage to provide for the future and education of you children. Thai education system is not good.

 

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5 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

I wanted to move to Thailand many years before I did and my advice to anyone is stay in 'farangland' and make your money, have you career and get your pension sorted THEN come here 50+

 

coming here to get a GF is almost suicidal as most of us retire here for fun some do find a wife/GF but why do that when you can have variety?  so stay there, work hard and come here once a year to party until you can retire here permanently. 

Yeah  but  a lot  of  people  do not  live to  old age...   Too many  die  quite  young..  Far better to  live  your  life  as  you want,  than  waiting in the  hope  your going  to  make it to old  age..

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3 hours ago, DrTuner said:

Aren't there enough Thais in California? I remember something like 200k in Los Angeles alone being quoted.

 

and also plenty Chinese and Vietnamese and Japanese, California is loaded with asian women.

 

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Or, and this suggestion is fraught with extreme risk, [mainly of having your wallet shredded to pieces in the divorce court] try marrying a woman back home, or at least have her as yr gf for several years, and see how you do with her. THEN come here and enjoy the difference.

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