Intellectual Whore

[sharktooth]

1 minute ago, LivinLOS said:

 

I am calling PETA !! 

 

It worked for Mrs Slocombe...

[canuckamuck]

Like others have said, perhaps you have met some of the knuckle draggers that Thailand attracts. But I really do get the sense that you are letting your imagination get the best of you.

 

My whole life I have had female friends, I have spent many hours in deep conversations with them. Some were girlfriends, some were not. All this time I thought I was being a good social character. I am discouraged to discover now that they were simply whores. They did seem to be nice people. My wife is a very nice person, with friends in many countries speaks English perfectly and has a Canadian degree. She is a native of Thailand but I still talk to her. My friends are her friends and she talks to them more than I do sometimes. Should I be offended, should she be offended? All this whoring we do, it is really quite shameful.

 

Perhaps you might consider a different angle though. Perhaps, some people are very social and they see your friendly face; and knowing that the expat community is small, they might assume that you too would appreciate a new friend. They might not expect at all that you are above all of that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Flanno]

1 hour ago, LivinLOS said:

 

I agree.. But I would also say theres a HUGE amount of projection going on.. Assumption of motives etc.. But thats fair enough isnt that what we all do all the time.. 

 

I also detect a huge dollop of ego in the post.. Not unusual it would seem in western women.. I would guess that the 'open hostility' is really no more than the reaction women receive when what they often hold over men no longer has any value.. 

 

I am really intrigued by one point.. How can anyone from the 'younger demographic' get a retirement visa ?? And if that is an exaggeration all other claims, slim, attractive, the hostility etc.. Are likely to be similarly exaggerated. 

Re your last paragraph I think you misunderstand her. She said "I fall into a slightly younger demographic than most". I think she means she is at least 50 years old but is younger than the great majority of male retirees in CM.

[FolkGuitar]

OK... I thought about your post over night, but I guess I'm still a bit confused... Are you angry because men want to speak with you about serious world concerns. That they want to chat with you about important matters rather than about who won the last Academy Awards or your favorite game show host?  How does the fact that they want to talk with you demean you in any way? Or imply that they are somehow cheating on their wives?  What difference does it make if they hold these conversations with a man or a woman?

 

I didn't get the idea that they were hitting on you for sexual favors, or is THAT why you are complaining? Do you want men to see you more as a sex object and less as one they can talk with?  Or... is this just some sort of "humble brag," letting everyone know that men like to approach you? I appreciate that you have strong feelings about what is going on, but your post really doesn't make your motivation clear.

Could you explain this a bit more?

 

 

[what2do]

I guess off-topic question is why aren't Western women attracted to Thai men (as much as Western men toward Thai women)?

[Sparkles]

The concise Oxford dictionary describes a "whore'as a prostitute (n) disliked person etc which I am sure strangers would not assume seeing they know absolutely nothing about you,just maybe you have a graphic imagination.

 

Considering yourself as "intellectual" is that your assessment or one that others have made?

 

I often speak to foreign ladies at Rimping, or wherever,the short conversation is always polite and not at any "intellectual" level its mostly about where you can buy certain products of better quality or cheaper.

 

Western men chatting you up about Brexit,US Elections,world affairs ? I find that very difficult to believe.Perhaps you could go the online shopping route and avoid

places where western men congregate.

[opalred]

i was at immigration the other day

an older USA women was getting a marriage visa 

with a young Thai man did not look out of place?

[LivinLOS]

1 hour ago, Flanno said:

Re your last paragraph I think you misunderstand her. She said "I fall into a slightly younger demographic than most". I think she means she is at least 50 years old but is younger than the great majority of male retirees in CM.

 

 

Ohh I get it... But any woman whose over 50 and still calling herself in the younger demographic of anything bar a nursing home is well.. Delusional.. 

[LivinLOS]

49 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

I didn't get the idea that they were hitting on you for sexual favors, or is THAT why you are complaining? Do you want men to see you more as a sex object and less as one they can talk with?  Or... is this just some sort of "humble brag," letting everyone know that men like to approach you? I appreciate that you have strong feelings about what is going on, but your post really doesn't make your motivation clear.

 

 

Sounds like both.. Its terrible shes not getting the right attention and the attention she is getting is terrible.. 

[KarenBravo]

1 minute ago, LivinLOS said:

 

 

Ohh I get it... But any woman whose over 50 and still calling herself in the younger demographic of anything bar a nursing home is well.. Delusional.. 

 

Well..........yes.

[toesolipsolie]

Interesting post Sambaya,..you say these men actually seek  you out as an intellectual whore. Do you think they get out of bed and are looking for you at a food court or mall because they are pineing for your self proclaimed intellect as if you have a target on your back? Not impossible I guess,...Maybe you can help me understand why you are asking this forum generally comprised of men to be your intellectual whore and comment on your conundrum, problem, or generalized anxiety, ( I guess,..enough to make this post) this seems to cause you. 

 

 I'm not hostile to your experience but I'm not obligated to respond with your stated condition to not offer a less then helpful post because I dont want to help you at all.

 

Good Luck

 

 

 

 

[orang37]

Perhaps the heavy weight of that whatever-issue-with-your-own-gender-and-age chip-on-your-shoulder is what's bringing you down to the place where you measure encounters with such a mean-spirited metric ?

 

But, more likely, imho, is that you are not who, and what, you claim to be; i.e., you are trolling.

 

~0:37;

[Thaiwrath]

Intellectual Whore

 

Oxymoron ?

[canthai55]

According to Quora - Intellectual Whore definition:
If you are compelled by your attraction (including sexual attraction) for someone to do everything for them that a lover would, but they do not reciprocate in the same way (while they still hold on to you), you are an IW and on a self destructive foolish path.

If you are attracted to someone and they are not symmetrically attracted to you within a short time, it is foolishness to expect them to eventually be. Either be happy with the IWship and gradually transform it to a symmetrical friendship or else cut off from them.

 

From the OP - I fail to make the connection to what you say and this definition

[jobin]

Downhill to the dirt.  Take the OP's advice and close this thread.  No social redeeming value, only humor.

[NancyL]

The OP wasn't clear in her post, but I've got to assume that she's writing about two different types of men.  

 

As someone who is a little older, and doesn't claim to be as fair in form and face as she does, I still must admit, I've definitely encountered western men who are hostile to the idea of the Thai gov't giving long-term visa to western women and my husband says he has encountered peers who don't understand why someone would "bring a woman with them" when they retire here.

 

These are not the same guys who will strike up a conversation with you in a public place, usually while you're waiting in a queue or perhaps eating or drinking by yourself, say at a mall food court.  When we first came here I used to study Thai sometimes in Kad Suan Kaew and sometimes retired guys would sit and talk.  Yes, those guys were time-waisters and it almost always turned out that they lived with a Thai lady.  They came to the mall to have an opportunity to talk with other English speakers.  The fact that I was married never "scared them off".  I don't think it mattered that I was male or female.  They were just looking for someone to talk with.   If the guy was interesting and I had nothing better to do, I might chose to talk with him, otherwise, I could say I needed to get ready for a test and ask him to leave.  No harm done.

 

I've noticed in my circle there are single women who go out for dinner, in groups with western men and often the men have Thai partners who aren't included in the dinner party.  Male and female partners.  Would the OP call these women "intellectual whores"?  Or could it be that the proper term for these people are "friends"?

 

 

 

 

[buddhalady]

Being in a similar situation myself since I was widowed, I have a lot of sympathy for the writer of the original post. Like her,  I'm slim, presentable, intelligent and on a retirement visa and,  like her, I find the attitudes of farang men in CM to be so difficult to accept that I just avoid them like the plague.

 

Let's face it, girls, older farang men don't come here for the weather, the food or the laid-back lifestyle, they arrive looking for their lost youth as regards their long-since faded attraction for the opposite sex. The sight of an intelligent farang woman is like a red rag to a bull, revealing misogynism second only to that of the USA's appalling president elect! 

 

OK, I'm being verbally provocative - but I've found the same problems since my husband died. I live outside town on the edge of a small farang community comprising guys married to Thai girls mostly less than half their ages, few of whom speak much English. The local mom and pop shop bar is the meeting place, with the men sitting at one end drinking, talking and listening to 60s/70s pop and the girls at the other end playing with their smartphones and chatting between themselves. I'm expected to sit in silence with the girls - if I don't and attempt to join in the conversation, I'm told I'm stupid more often than not. On the other hand, the girls are friendly and fun, but it's impossible to have a real conversation as my attempts to learn Thai are not so successful. Result - I can go a week or more without having any English language communication with another human being, especially since the massive increase of traffic here often means a 1.5 hour drive to town rather than the former 35-40 minutes! 

 

Some of the  replies to the OP could easily have come from the above-mentioned group of sad old guys who simply can't accept intelligent women as worth even talking to. One point, however - the OP states she's had the chance to chat about current affairs but has rejected the opportunity. I should be so lucky! Go with the flow, girl, and enjoy impromptu conversations when they occur whilst keeping you right to end them when you need to.

 

 

 

 

[sanemax]

15 hours ago, Simbaya said:

Western men will chat me up about Brexit, US elections, and world affairs in general.  They seem undernourished in speaking to a bright farang woman.  Sometimes there is a request for my phone number to "have coffee," or something similar .  Most always,, they have an Thai wife at home..

 

   Its quite telling that you use the term "Chat me up" , this is a term used to denote that they want to enter into a sexual relationship with you , Its the Western Female mentality that males only want sex and therefore you shouldnt converse with them .

     Its also quite derogatory (although a bit true) suggesting Thai females lack the ability to have an intellectual conversation .

[jpinx]

The OP has vanished -- no replies -- must be a troll

[sharktooth]

They will be burning their bras and demanding the vote next...

[CMKiwi]

Strange a lot of Thai ladies don't need bras.....

And in the age of equality, what are they to do?

[sharktooth]

Boob job?

[buddhalady]

Trolls? Burning bras? boob jobs? I think the OP, Nancy and I just made our points!

[jpinx]

2 minutes ago, buddhalady said:

Trolls? Burning bras? boob jobs? I think the OP, Nancy and I just made our points!

Not at all -- silence is not a response.  It is very easy to selectively reply if the thread is genuine. 

[geriatrickid]

Madam, there is nothing you can do about this, save for not getting involved. If these men are low class, uneducated, uncouth losers, as you describe, why then are you  associating with them?  It would be like my hanging about bar girls  and then being  upset when I was unable to engage in a discussion on the implications for Thailand's export sector of increased tariffs, or wondering how I  had developed a large oozing abscess on my left testicle after a night of delight with one.

On the other hand, many foreigners occupy a very different social station than I do and consequently we have nothing in common; not the foods we eat, not even the types of bed linens that we use. I discourage such people from engaging with me. I am not interested in the latest Geordie show episode or seeing their ugly fungus infected toenails. I am most likely one of those people who does not talk to you if you are sitting next to me in the  CX lounge at BKK. Unless you can help my career, or a client, I just am not interested. 

[canthai55]

35 minutes ago, buddhalady said:

Let's face it, girls, older farang men don't come here for the weather, the food or the laid-back lifestyle, they arrive looking for their lost youth as regards their long-since faded attraction for the opposite sex.

 

Not for me. Not for the Western people I associate with. Happily married, and only a slight age difference. 18 year old heart in a 60+ body.  Your bias is showing ...

[sharktooth]

Who in their right mind would begin a conversation about brexit to some old boiler while standing in a queue at Rimping?

[mesquite]

Just now, sharktooth said:

Who in their right mind would begin a conversation about brexit to some old boiler while standing in a queue at Rimping?

What does "old boiler" mean?

[sharktooth]

Just now, mesquite said:

What does "old boiler" mean?

 

You would have to ask the op to post a photo...

[Bill97]

Troll