Extension of Stay by Marriage to Thai Lady

[joebrown]

I am currently dating a divorced Thai lady whose ex husband is in the Thai military, He works about 600km away on permanent assignment. Because they have a son the father has arranged for his son to be housed in free military accommodation on a local army base. My g/f lives with her son. There are a few benefits attached to living there such as free transport to and from a local private school. The father pays the surprisingly modest school fees. I would dearly love to marry this lady and pass on to her the Widow's Benefit from my private pensions. I'm 70yrs old and would like to think the 'right person' might benefit and have financial security after my demise. There would be no problem for me to pay the school fees in the event of the father failing to do so.

My g/f works on the base and wants to continue her work there for the foreseeable future. She is reluctant to leave the military accommodation, but has expressed her willingness to marry me. I have a house near (2km) from the base, and she often spends time here with me. As a foreigner there is no way I could live with her on the base. I'm wondering whether there is a way round this dilemma bearing I mind that if we were to marry, Immigration would frown upon the likelihood of her sharing her time between her son's home and mine. BTW, an Extension of Stay by Marriage would also be of great benefit to me because of the dramatic fall in the GBP - Thai Baht exchange rate. My g/f and I have been 'very good friends' for 6 months. Has anyone any constructive suggestions.

[steve187]

yes don't do it, don't get played

 

it would be a marriage of convenience, how would you prove the marriage to immigration,

[joebrown]

3 minutes ago, steve187 said:

yes don't do it, don't get played

 

it would be a marriage of convenience, how would you prove the marriage to immigration,

I understand what you say.  I don't like being 'played'. Maybe the only way forward is to issue an ultimatum saying "both you and your son move in with me permanently, or else it's over". She has told me she could continue her military work if she married me and moved off the base. The only problems I can foresee might be her 12yr old son's reluctance to leave his friends behind and any influence her ex might try to exert on her employers, some of whom are still his long distance friends.

[Rhys]

.... your dealing with an  Ex-husband, who is active military!!!   He arranged housing for the son and his "property"...sorry to be so blunt here, but that is how, some Thai men, especially the military men set view women.  

 

BE smart, walk away... your 70 years old... MAN up here... you would be willing to give up your pension for them, ok noble.

 

You don't think Sgt Somchai has you on watch or his buddies have his back.

 

Heck your still young at heart, go out enjoy your golden years....think with your heart and you will find yourself ....in a challenging situation ... 600 KM is not far, military has coms and he can find his buddies.

 

..be careful..

 

 

 

[joebrown]

6 hours ago, Rhys said:

.... your dealing with an  Ex-husband, who is active military!!!   He arranged housing for the son and his "property"...sorry to be so blunt here, but that is how, some Thai men, especially the military men set view women.  

 

BE smart, walk away... your 70 years old... MAN up here... you would be willing to give up your pension for them, ok noble.

 

You don't think Sgt Somchai has you on watch or his buddies have his back.

 

Heck your still young at heart, go out enjoy your golden years....think with your heart and you will find yourself ....in a challenging situation ... 600 KM is not far, military has coms and he can find his buddies.

 

..be careful..

 

 

 

Thanks for your input. The 'military' aspect of this situation does concern me, but I believe she's worth that risk. My big issue is that if we were to marry, would it be acceptable to Immigration if she were to split her time between me 'off base', and her son in military accommodation 2kms away. At the moment she spends time at my house each day because of the close proximity. 

[colinneil]

joebrown you are 70 years old, last thing you need is a lot of hassle at your time of life.

Please think with your big head, not your small one, and get the hell out.

Ex-husband my a..e, when you are not around she will be bunking up with him, get out now.

[Kwasaki]

13 hours ago, joebrown said:

I'm wondering whether there is a way round this dilemma bearing I mind that if we were to marry, Immigration would frown upon the likelihood of her sharing her time between her son's home and mine.

What makes you think that and how would they know that.

 

13 hours ago, joebrown said:

BTW, an Extension of Stay by Marriage would also be of great benefit to me because of the dramatic fall in the GDP.    

l would keep my retirement extension going.

 

13 hours ago, joebrown said:

My g/f and I have been 'very good friends' for 6 months.

Not long enough.

[meatboy]

you say you would like to marry her so that you can pass on your private pensions to her.

yet on the other hand you want to get married so that you can get your extension through marriage,reason is the GBP. exchange rate.

well you make it sound that you dont have that much in reserve [DO YOU]

stay as you are and enjoy what you can WITHOUT complicating life,cause thats what it will become.

 

[Moonlover]

2 hours ago, joebrown said:

Thanks for your input. The 'military' aspect of this situation does concern me, but I believe she's worth that risk. My big issue is that if we were to marry, would it be acceptable to Immigration if she were to split her time between me 'off base', and her son in military accommodation 2kms away. At the moment she spends time at my house each day because of the close proximity. 

Her ex family in military accommodation 2kms away is about 400kms too close!

 

My wife's son is in the army and is based around 300kms away. Even he can be a pain in the ass at times!

[Parsve]

A lot of people have give you the advice to not marry her so no need for that. However,  if you marry her think of to write a

premarital settlement (marriage settlement) before you do. It would help you if the pessimists are right. You can read more about the settlement at https://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=7702

 

[joebrown]

4 hours ago, Moonlover said:

Her ex family in military accommodation 2kms away is about 400kms too close!

 

My wife's son is in the army and is based around 300kms away. Even he can be a pain in the ass at times!

Not sure what you mean. The ex-husband is 600km away and it's her 12yr old son she's caring for in the local military accommodation.

[Moonlover]

56 minutes ago, joebrown said:

Not sure what you mean. The ex-husband is 600km away and it's her 12yr old son she's caring for in the local military accommodation.

Have to admit, I was being a bit 'tongue in cheek' with that comment. However; let me tell a cautionary tale Joebrown. One of my wife's long time friends is an army widow. Before her ex husband died, he asked his commanding officer to ensure that his wife was taken care of.

 

Oh he does that all right! About every 2nd month he does a weekend trip to Udon Thani, leaving his wife and children at home in barracks, to come and 'take care' of her in the little apartment he has set up for that purpose. He would come more often, but apparently, he has a 2nd concubine to 'take care of' elsewhere in the country.

 

Be careful who you put your trust in.

 

In answer to your concern about immigration. If you do apply for an extension on the grounds of marriage. Immigration require, and do check that you are indeed living as man and wife. And you will require a guarantor and a witness to sign to that effect. Far better to stay with a retirement extension if at all possible.

[joebrown]

Many thanks for all your comments. You've certainly given me some food for thought. I hope at some future date to let you know what transpires.