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Before marriage, tips how to protect myself?

howard ashoul

By howard ashoul
in Marriage and Divorce

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howard ashoul Explorer Member

howard ashoul

Posted
Posted

I'm about to get married next month. Since I'm not under illusion, that my wife is special, I'm thinking about protecting myself.

 

I'm about to contact lawyer to write prenup. And so far I came to this:

 

  • prenup in both english and thai, so she can't claim she didn't understand it
  • statement that we are both debt free
  • list of my current assets (2 bank accounts, motorbike, my websites)
  • condition, that non of us can borrow sum larger than 1000B without written consent of another one (since we can specify in prenup how finances will be handled during marriage)

 

Do you have any advice? What should I do before marriage or what should I ask lawyer to include into prenup?

swissie Platinum Member

swissie

Posted
Posted

Troll or not, nevermind.

 

In a country, where "Legal-Certainty" is not assured, (especially if a Farang is involved), any sort of "contract" is "shaky" to begin with.
But having a pre-nup is better than having nothing, I suppose.


Keep your assets overseas, and disclose as little as possible as far as this is concerned. Nothing wrong with entering the marriage as a Farang with "modest financial capabilities" (officially).


As the marriage progresses successfully, you can gradually disclose more.
- This approach worked very well for me.
Cheers. 

 

northernboy Senior Member

northernboy

Posted
Posted

You ask How do you protect yourself? 

By Building open and honest communications between the two of you and explain your concerns and expectations are on both sides. Because whatever you write in a prenup is only for when things are so bad there is not possible future together.  It is far better to explain what is important to each of you before yo get married and also what will happen when a divorce is to happen. 

 

I have seen people marry with nothing but the certainty that divorce will happen. They protect their assets but not their emotional stability and happiness then wonder why they get divorced. 

 

Why rush legal marriage except to get a spousal visa? If that is the reason then most likely you are not going to last and it will cause pain to all including yourself.

 

If you are here asking how to protect yourself, it is to wait and when you know what each of you wants and needs in the relationship then and only then get married.  

 

If it si only a prenup you want you can write one where you are legally and financially separate beings no problem I have done them for clients. But they protect your assets not you 

 

Feel free to now to mock me and belittle my honest answer if you like. 

taiping Senior Member

taiping

Posted
Posted

Draw up a list of assets in Thailand, including property, motor vehicles, and any personal effects which are worth anything.

Have the list translated into Thai and notarised.

When registering the marriage at the Amphur, give the official the notarised copy.

Only assets acquired after marriage are split 50/50 in a divorce.

Most (but not all) Thai marriages to foreigners end in divorce. Mine has lasted, but I'm still glad I did the above. In my case the official just accepted the list of assets without question.

Good luck!

 

sikishrory Gold Member

sikishrory

Posted
Posted

Regarding the prenup. I had one drawn up by a lawyer in bkk for 10,000 baht.

Are we allowed to name and shame? 

During the whole (rushed) process I was only talking with receptionists and a young man who seemed clueless and was literally just being a middle man relaying documents and information to a lawyer sotting out the back.

When it came time to presnt the prenups at the amphur (they must be registered at this point only) the lady rejected them saying that the lawyer was supposed to attend and sign as well. So I wasted 10k and am now also married without a prenup.

Make sure your actually talking to an office that will allow give you some time to talk with a lawyer.

elgordo38 Gold Member

elgordo38

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, swissie said:

Troll or not, nevermind.

 

In a country, where "Legal-Certainty" is not assured, (especially if a Farang is involved), any sort of "contract" is "shaky" to begin with.
But having a pre-nup is better than having nothing, I suppose.


Keep your assets overseas, and disclose as little as possible as far as this is concerned. Nothing wrong with entering the marriage as a Farang with "modest financial capabilities" (officially).


As the marriage progresses successfully, you can gradually disclose more.
- This approach worked very well for me.
Cheers. 

 

About as good as it gets young fellow especially the last paragraph. You seem to be on the right track with your approach. The troll hunters are out in full force for the humor of things. Also how long have you known this lady you can soon get a read on which way the wind blows like in the direction of her family who might/will be pulling her strings. Don't say "I do" until your sure. Saying " I no longer want you" is a disheartening and in future come from her direction as well. 

elgordo38 Gold Member

elgordo38

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, northernboy said:

You ask How do you protect yourself? 

By Building open and honest communications between the two of you and explain your concerns and expectations are on both sides. Because whatever you write in a prenup is only for when things are so bad there is not possible future together.  It is far better to explain what is important to each of you before yo get married and also what will happen when a divorce is to happen. 

 

I have seen people marry with nothing but the certainty that divorce will happen. They protect their assets but not their emotional stability and happiness then wonder why they get divorced. 

 

Why rush legal marriage except to get a spousal visa? If that is the reason then most likely you are not going to last and it will cause pain to all including yourself.

 

If you are here asking how to protect yourself, it is to wait and when you know what each of you wants and needs in the relationship then and only then get married.  

 

If it si only a prenup you want you can write one where you are legally and financially separate beings no problem I have done them for clients. But they protect your assets not you 

 

Feel free to now to mock me and belittle my honest answer if you like. 

You have restored my faith in mankind. The milk of human kindness doth still flow. 

catman20 Advanced Member

catman20

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, 12DrinkMore said:

Woman's game.

 

Set and match. Job done. Next please.

 

 

marriage is a scam but only the smart guy get it............game set and match. game over!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BusyB Gold Member

BusyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, howard ashoul said:

" Since I'm not under illusion, that my wife is special, I'm thinking about protecting myself."

It'd take someone pretty special for me to marry them - and I'd also do a prenup.

Edited by BusyB
Tidied up quote
howard ashoul Explorer Member

howard ashoul

Posted
  • Author
Posted
8 minutes ago, thailand49 said:

You should hold off until you know what you are doing? You are living in fantasy land?

We are living together for 5 years.

 

It's not "yesterday I felt in love and tomorrow we are getting married" scenario.

CharlieH Star Member

CharlieH

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, howard ashoul said:

We are living together for 5 years.

 

It's not "yesterday I felt in love and tomorrow we are getting married" scenario.

If together already 5 years, why the "need" to get married? Just carry on, its only a piece of paper, and if you feel the "need" to protect yourself after being with her 5 years then she isnt the one is she, Your gut instinct was to protect yourself, so your own feelings are telling you its not right. I wouldnt proceed whilst you feel like that, thats for sure.

khunPer Diamond Member

khunPer

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, taiping said:

Draw up a list of assets in Thailand, including property, motor vehicles, and any personal effects which are worth anything.

Have the list translated into Thai and notarised.

When registering the marriage at the Amphur, give the official the notarised copy.

Only assets acquired after marriage are split 50/50 in a divorce.

Most (but not all) Thai marriages to foreigners end in divorce. Mine has lasted, but I'm still glad I did the above. In my case the official just accepted the list of assets without question.

Good luck!

 

Agree with user taiping, to my knowledge the right way to do it.

 

The book "Thai Law for Foreigners" (ISBN 978-1-887521-57-4) mention it in page 62-63, and especially the Thai translation part, so the Thai partner understand it (shall be read to her). The book also says, that

"A prenuptial agreement is a new concept to Thais. Most don't know about it, al all. It is not common for Thai couples to enter into this type of agreement."

and:

"It is recommended that the prenuptial agreement is drafted by an experienced lawyer and possibly be prepared as a bilingual agreement..."
–normally it's the Thai-version of an agreement, that is the legal document.

:smile:

khunPer Diamond Member

khunPer

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

If together already 5 years, why the "need" to get married? Just carry on, its only a piece of paper, and if you feel the "need" to protect yourself after being with her 5 years then she isnt the one is she, Your gut instinct was to protect yourself, so your own feelings are telling you its not right. I wouldnt proceed whilst you feel like that, thats for sure.

Wise words – as always from Charlie H – and also the way my Thai GF and I are living fine together, our 13th year now. But there can be reasons where a marriage agreement is beneficial – for example for Visa and extension when under 50-years old; and for children, as some countries may claim marriage before granting citizenship to a child born abroad by a foreign mother; in heritage, as some countries may tax (a lot) higher, when not married (not Thailand, but home country, like my Scandinavian); and probably also other situations...

janpharma Advanced Member

janpharma

Posted
Posted

When you make the prenuptial agreement, make sure that there is also a clause stating that your wife confirms that she understands what is in the agreement; further more there need to be also 2 witness who also have to sign.  If possible, have it done at the Embassy of your country and/or have it legalized.

 

howard ashoul Explorer Member

howard ashoul

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

If together already 5 years, why the "need" to get married? Just carry on, its only a piece of paper, and if you feel the "need" to protect yourself after being with her 5 years then she isnt the one is she, Your gut instinct was to protect yourself, so your own feelings are telling you its not right. I wouldnt proceed whilst you feel like that, thats for sure.

I need visa. For last 6 years I was doing visa runs etc. But it's not a option anymore.

 

Before you suggest any kind of visa, I considered them all. And this is the best way for me. I'm 28, so no retirement visa. Also I don't feel like buying VIP visa (it's a temporary solution, i want a permanent solution). And If I get married I can aplly for permanent residency in 3 years. So it could mean, that at 31 I could live here visa free (not sure about this, didn;t read about it much).

Edited by howard ashoul
CharlieH Star Member

CharlieH

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, howard ashoul said:

I need visa. For last 6 years I was doing visa runs etc. But it's not a option anymore.

 

Before you suggest any kind of visa, I considered them all. And this is the best way for me.

So now the decision is for "visa reasons", you really need to step back and think on this as your "reasons" and actions appear to be for all the wrong ones to be getting married to anyone.

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