A Retiree's Choice of Partner

[xerostar]

I'm still trying to decide who I want to settle down with for my retirement years.

 

It's hard enough trying to find a "compatible" partner but when you throw in a few other major variables I find it near impossible to decide what to do.

I started out thinking I would like to find a partner with a good education and with a reasonable command of English. 
Not a problem to find one, so it turns out, but ..

 

I've met so called "good girls" who have regular jobs but the problem is they have such long working hours !

 

Some examples:

A self-employed hairdresser who works six or seven days a week - open from 6.30 am until 10.00 pm !

A self-employed lady selling haberdashery who works 7 days a week from 9am to 10pm in a busy suburban market .. making good money.

A factory-worker lady who works only 5 days a week but the hours are 8am to 6pm. She gets home too tired to do anything !

Another lady works in a finance department and her hours are 8am to 6pm and she often has to stay back after hours and do extra work on weekends !

Another lady who has a great job in education administration but again, long working hours and no prospect of early retirement.

 

I would like a woman to "share some time with", who is not "married" to their job but it seems there are no "in-betweens".

 

In the other extreme, I could find a farm girl who "I could be with all day long", but I would soon get bored, with nothing to talk about except how fast the weeds were growing, or when is it going to rain ?

 

I know there are guys who are content to sit on a bar stool all day and chew the fat and drink beer but I think I would quickly get bored with that life style too.  

 

I admit part of the problem is my penchant for "working age" ladies. 

I guess it would be much easier if I was to focus on ladies more my own age.  

I think it's a case of wanting the cake and the icing too, I suppose. 

 

I wonder if any TV members could offer some "positive" suggestions as to how they have successfully dealt with this "problem".

 

 

 

[bannork]

Yes, you want a younger wife otherwise no problem as all civil servants retire at 60 and there are plenty of single Thai women of that age.

Actually there are many Thai women working in the civil service who are not married to their jobs but it seems you are looking for a lady with some get up and go in her and of course  those types are working hard, dedicated to whatever they are doing.

Perhaps you should look for a lady in the government sector who's more relaxed.

Next time you go to immigration check out the ladies playing on their phones rather than attending to 90 day reportees or those seeking to extend their visas! 

[Pdaz]

Why "buy a book" when there is a library in town ? If it fly's, f***'s or floats... Rent it.

[bannork]

8 minutes ago, Pdaz said:

Why "buy a book" when there is a library in town ? If it fly's, f***'s or floats... Rent it.

A good book should be loved and cherished, it's something that should be alongside one for the whole of your life. It's part of your psyche and soul. To rent such a treasure is to cheapen yourself.

Don't judge it by its cover, you may not fully understand the contents on first reading. A second or third study may be necessary to fully appreciate its depth and beauty.

 

 

[Rc2702]

Here's an idea; seeking quality time with a woman who can share your best years. Seek out a fellow retiree.

[giddyup]

My partner is just over 20 years younger than me and was working when I met her, but not as a bar girl. I was happy for her to give up work and to support her financially. We spend 24/7 together, and after 8 years get on better than ever. Her English isn't perfect, but more than adequate to have a conversation. So, I'd suggest finding someone where there isn't a ridiculous age gap, that you enjoy similar things, and that she has an interest or a hobby. Mine is an avid gardener.

Edited May 20, 2017 by giddyup

[giddyup]

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Here's an idea; seeking quality time with a woman who can share your best years. Seek out a fellow retiree.

Blue hair and bingo arms, no thanks.

[Rc2702]

Just now, giddyup said:

Blue hair and bingo arms, no thanks.

Don't be cold Vera's a lovely lass.

[giddyup]

1 minute ago, Rc2702 said:

Don't be cold Vera's a lovely lass.

Specially with her teeth out.

[Rc2702]

3 minutes ago, giddyup said:

Specially with her teeth out.

So now you know how your Mrs feels. Still handsum tho. Never mind

[giddyup]

7 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

So now you know how your Mrs feels. Still handsum tho. Never mind

Speak for yourself. Still have all my hair and most of my own teeth as well.

[Rc2702]

1 minute ago, giddyup said:

Speak for yourself. Still have all my hair and most of my own teeth as well.

And bingo wings so you can fly. Listen oldboy bottom line everything you just said applies to you in your Mrs head. Straight up Giddyup that's how it is. That musty old man smell for her gotta be hell. Shower a lot and consider getting your family to send you a load of lynx Africa and maybe you can shave 5 years off the odour. Lovely speaking to you anyway, goodnight.

[Gecko123]

The OP has described the Gordian knot which foreign men dating Thai women face. Hard work and the long hours it demands make opportunities for dating and time for leisure activities scarce commodities. On top of that, financially successful Thai women attract plenty of interest from Thai men as well. Small wonder the vast majority of men here take the course of least resistance and seek out companionship in bars.

 

During the 'go-go' phase of retirement, the variety and stimulation this provides is great. But eventually we all slow down and things like conversation, compatibility, and companionship start to take on greater importance. I'm not saying compatibility between a younger Thai woman and an older foreign guy isn't perfectly possible. The odds are probably a little long, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen, more power to you, no judgements.

 

Becoming a nursing home Casanova probably isn't the OP's thing, but dismissing older women out of hand might be a mistake. Some do still have entertaining personalities and physical charms. Their maturity makes for less drama, not to mention they tend to be more appreciative. Early-on in retirement this might not be a very appealing option, but keeping an open mind might pay dividends down the road.

Edited May 20, 2017 by Gecko123

[giddyup]

2 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

And bingo wings so you can fly. Listen oldboy bottom line everything you just said applies to you in your Mrs head. Straight up Giddyup that's how it is. That musty old man smell for her gotta be hell. Shower a lot and consider getting your family to send you a load of lynx Africa and maybe you can shave 5 years off the odour. Lovely speaking to you anyway, goodnight.

Must be sad to be on your own and unloved, but then some people are totally unlovable because of the bitterness they carry inside. You keep on believing the lies the bar skanks tell you, like you do have a big d*ck, not the cashew nut you really have.

[xerostar]

Thanks for all the entertaining replies !

 

I forgot to mention, like many other retirees, I have a champagne taste

on a beer budget. 

I'm officially on the AOAP (Australian Overseas Assistance Package)

So total financial support for a retiring lovely is out of the question ...

 

That said, I will most likely  continue to contribute to some bank accounts ..

 

From a mercenary point of view, choosing a gumment worker would be

an advantage when it comes to health insurance.

 

A lady with nursing/medical qualifications is looking more attractive as my age increases.

 

Finding a lady who is financially secure and generous may be the answer for me .. and so would winning the lottery ..

 

 

[simon43]

The OP raises an important question, especially for us older, single guys.

 

I've had 3 'unsuccessful' marriages (2 with Thai women), and the outcome is that I absolutely trust no woman (Thai or otherwise) who comes on to me romantically, because in all 3 marriages, the only thing that motivated my wives was my money (meagre that it was, but still much more than they had!).

 

So I'm very happy for the past 5 years as a single guy.  But I am aware that as I get older, I may need to call on others to assist me, and those others do not exist right now.

Edited May 21, 2017 by simon43

[KarenBravo]

If you are getting on in years, the punch-line is that women are only going to stay with you for financial security.

Understand that (which in this culture describes most women's reasons for settling down) and the world is your oyster.

 

[melvinmelvin]

31 minutes ago, xerostar said:

Thanks for all the entertaining replies !

 

I forgot to mention, like many other retirees, I have a champagne taste

on a beer budget. 

I'm officially on the AOAP (Australian Overseas Assistance Package)

So total financial support for a retiring lovely is out of the question ...

 

That said, I will most likely  continue to contribute to some bank accounts ..

 

From a mercenary point of view, choosing a gumment worker would be

an advantage when it comes to health insurance.

 

A lady with nursing/medical qualifications is looking more attractive as my age increases.

 

Finding a lady who is financially secure and generous may be the answer for me .. and so would winning the lottery ..

 

 

 

find yourself a retired civil servant, or a civil servant that is old enough for early retirement

ok salary

ok pension

lots of benefits for spouses and children

 

[flyingdoc]

Melvinmelvin is probably right !  You might do well to look at the nursing profession, where all your dreams might come true. Or a University teacher if your skills/intellect are up to it?!!  Some of the latter only work 10 hours per week or less, but have a good salary 

and pension when the time comes!!

[henry15]

9 hours ago, giddyup said:

My partner is just over 20 years younger than me and was working when I met her, but not as a bar girl. I was happy for her to give up work and to support her financially. We spend 24/7 together, and after 8 years get on better than ever. Her English isn't perfect, but more than adequate to have a conversation. So, I'd suggest finding someone where there isn't a ridiculous age gap, that you enjoy similar things, and that she has an interest or a hobby. Mine is an avid gardener.

My   wife is 17 years my junior and I am in te same situation. Togheter 7 years, and this weer married 5 years. Its been 7 wonderful years.

[jayceenik]

1 hour ago, KarenBravo said:

If you are getting on in years, the punch-line is that women are only going to stay with you for financial security.

Understand that (which in this culture describes most women's reasons for settling down) and the world is your oyster.

 

Yes. What you bring her (financial security) and she brings you (companionship) is what it's all about.

I've found a companion for my golden years without even thinking or looking for one. She is less than 30 and I'm more than (never mind !).

I first met her when she was freelancing at a Tipp Plaza beerbar in Pattaya some seven years ago.

First worked as assistant nurse in Ubon, then hostess on Isaan-Rayong VIP busses, then freelanced in Pattaya. She has a couple years Uni.

We spent only two nights together at this first time. She then went back to her Isaan village for a couple years and then we met again by chance later five years ago and decided to spend more time together.

Our relationship started as open at first but then got stronger and stronger. After a year or so I made her my only inheritor. While with me she worked one year as dental assistant in a Buakhaw practice the was trained at ChaengWattana to make Thai passports at the Thai Consular Avenue office. Her salary was around 10000b at both places.

The idea of living with me permanently during my Golden Years came up rather progressively.

 

We now live together in the new house I bought for her in Ubon.

She expects financial support from me and I her companionship.

Things working well for me. I'm very happy. No going back, ever!, to home country (Belgium).

[12DrinkMore]

2 hours ago, simon43 said:

But I am aware that as I get older, I may need to call on others to assist me, and those others do not exist right now.

 

I had an old friend who was into his 80's, now deceeased, and passed his bonking years (that is what he told me). He was pretty much passed his walking days.

 

He had an arrangement with a couple of massage girls. On alternate days they would pop around to visit him, bring their kids, do a bit of cleaning and chat, get any shopping he required, staying for three to four hours. On Saturdays they he would go to the swimming pool with them.

 

In return he was paying them monthly, and was also very generous in buying things like school uniforms and books.

 

Seemed like a very good arrangement.

[Kwasaki]

16 hours ago, xerostar said:

I think it's a case of wanting the cake and the icing too, I suppose. 

I wonder if any TV members could offer some "positive" suggestions as to how they have successfully dealt with this "problem".

Yeah loads of em get ready,  your problem for you to solve.

 

[JAFO]

Tough spot OP.  When I met my wife she working 6 days a week 12 hrs a day as a Nursing mgr in BKK. Initially it worked great as I enjoyed my quality time and did stuff while she worked.  It was hard though as her work schedule was demanding and time off together was short and brief.  After a year or so we decided she should quit as she just hit 40 and I was asked to join a start up in the US.  So she quit. We moved and in the US she didnt want to sit around so she took up a part time job as she felt it important to contribute. 4 years later we moved back here as I took a position for a US company.  Now she is fully retired at 44 however her "job" now is to keep things in order for us which doesnt seem like much but it is. 

 

I speak for me but I wouldnt want a young gal that didnt work.  I suspect she will get bored quickly and with that comes issues.  

 

Its a balance for sure. If you want a young gal I'd let her work and you have to manage her time off.  If an older gal you have some options.  My advice firstly is do not move here and be completely dependant on your partner. Remain independent and have your own hobbies and activities.  Sitting around with a gal sounds great in the beginning but that luster will wear off. 

 

Good Luck.

[steven100]

3 hours ago, xerostar said:

Thanks for all the entertaining replies !

 

I forgot to mention, like many other retirees, I have a champagne taste

on a beer budget. 

I'm officially on the AOAP (Australian Overseas Assistance Package)

So total financial support for a retiring lovely is out of the question ...

 

That said, I will most likely  continue to contribute to some bank accounts ..

 

From a mercenary point of view, choosing a gumment worker would be

an advantage when it comes to health insurance.

 

A lady with nursing/medical qualifications is looking more attractive as my age increases.

 

Finding a lady who is financially secure and generous may be the answer for me .. and so would winning the lottery ..

 

 

just grab a banger down at nana or cowboy and you can sit at the bar and enjoy her company all day long ... then when your both in bed it's on again ....

[kingstonkid]

  I was am in the same boat.  I came here and wanted to retire and just enjoy life.  That got boring.  my wife is 20 years younger than me works and I have started to work also as a teacher on the side just to get away from the boredom.

 

We get a day off together once a week and it is our time.  We go out and enjoy the day together.  Holidays are a time for us to get away and enjoy things also.

 

Much the same lifestyle as I would have at home country only less stress and no nagging wife.

[lanng khao]

You can't beat a good old fashioned open relationship, you open your wallet, she opens her legs...

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[OmarZaid]

3 hours ago, KarenBravo said:

If you are getting on in years, the punch-line is that women are only going to stay with you for financial security.

Understand that (which in this culture describes most women's reasons for settling down) and the world is your oyster.

 

I know of three faithful Thai ladies who take exquisite care of their farang hubbies in this category.

[giddyup]

Just now, lanng khao said:

You can't beat a good old fashioned open relationship, you open your wallet, she opens her legs...

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
 

Maybe opening your mind to other options?

[lanng khao]

Maybe opening your mind to other options?

Am only joking mate,jai yen..



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