Trilingual - practical tips

[Bob12345]

Just found out about this part of TVF and after going back 12 pages I couldn't find a similar topic so lets try opening a new topic on this.

 

I have 2 baby boys aged 6 months old and we plan to raise them in 3 languages: my native language (Dutch), English, and Thai.

The main reason for picking 3 languages: I want them to be able to communicate with my parents and maybe later study in the Netherlands, my wife and I speak English together, and Thai because we will be living in Thailand (plus her parents don't speak a word of English).

I do realize that 3 languages will result in their speaking skills coming later (plus they are twins which delays it even more) but I think it is important for them to be able to effortlessly switch between these languages and therefore start with all 3 at an early age.

 

So now my question:

Who can give me some practical tips on how to approach teaching your kids 3 languages.

 

Basically I raise the kids during the largest part of the day as my wife works about 20 shifts of 12 hours at the hospital each month.

So I will be talking Dutch to them all day long.

When my wife comes home we both switch to English exclusively?

But when will they get their Thai language input?

Or do I speak English with them when my wife is home while my wife still sings songs in Thai and uses Thai with them which excludes me?

Or maybe give my wife alone time with them daily so she can talk Thai to them and I will be cooking/cleaning/training/shopping/etc?

 

How did you guys do this?

I am looking for practical advice here.

[Bob12345]

Some more specific questions:
how much teaching material in the third language do you use and where to get it?

 

There are english books available in Thailand, and Thai books, but should i load up on Dutch books during my trips or rely on online materials?

I dislike using video or digital media, but might it be necessary to get access to more Dutch texts for them?

How did you manage?

[cooked]

I wouldn't worry too much initially, in my experience young kids can grow up  in a multilingual household without problems. Our now 11 year old grandchild after two years listening to me (swearing a lot) to me speaking English with the wife on the school run and at home, turned out to be quite a good English speaker despite Thai schooling.

She also understands, though not speaking, Lao.

It is only later on that children need organised tuition.

Can't the Dutch Embassy culture department help you with book sources? The British have the British Council.

 

I dislike digital media also but it is certainly the way knowledge will be transmitted in the future and for myself I have given in and use the computer when teaching English. Even in English it is difficult to find suitable books here.

 

[fa4960]

There is a ground rule that should be followed according to various language expert in my children's international school that I have spoken to:

 

One parent, one language!

 

Those who manage to do that seems to succeed. It is however easier said than done when you don't understand Thai and your wife doesn't understand Dutch - and also the reason I failed myself getting 3 languages implemented with my boys. The need to explain everything twice was what in end got me to drop my native language teaching of the kids but I do regret it and would persist if had a second chance so hang in there!!! If you send them to an international school later there is no need to worry about English, it will com easily. If you don't plan to do that it could be more of a challenge to make them truly multilingual.

 

Best of luck!

[Bob12345]

29 minutes ago, fa4960 said:

There is a ground rule that should be followed according to various language expert in my children's international school that I have spoken to:

 

One parent, one language!

 

Those who manage to do that seems to succeed. It is however easier said than done when you don't understand Thai and your wife doesn't understand Dutch - and also the reason I failed myself getting 3 languages implemented with my boys. The need to explain everything twice was what in end got me to drop my native language teaching of the kids but I do regret it and would persist if had a second chance so hang in there!!! If you send them to an international school later there is no need to worry about English, it will com easily. If you don't plan to do that it could be more of a challenge to make them truly multilingual.

 

Best of luck!

Another rule is to only teach them your native language, as my wife speaks English with a Thai accent and I have a Dutch accent. 

So I am a bit hesitant to teach them English.

But they will be exposed to English anyways as we need to communicate together in front of them also.

 

I am sure going to try it, and know it will be a rough ride. 

 

Did you boys get an exposure to your native language later on?

They won't reach "native" level anymore easily, but on holiday trips to your home country they can get a lot of exposure anyways and maybe pick it up as a "foreign language"?

Edited July 17, 2017 by Bob12345

[Bob12345]

1 hour ago, cooked said:

I wouldn't worry too much initially, in my experience young kids can grow up  in a multilingual household without problems. Our now 11 year old grandchild after two years listening to me (swearing a lot) to me speaking English with the wife on the school run and at home, turned out to be quite a good English speaker despite Thai schooling.

She also understands, though not speaking, Lao.

It is only later on that children need organised tuition.

Can't the Dutch Embassy culture department help you with book sources? The British have the British Council.

 

I dislike digital media also but it is certainly the way knowledge will be transmitted in the future and for myself I have given in and use the computer when teaching English. Even in English it is difficult to find suitable books here.

 

Thanks for your reply.

My problem is that we have 3 languages and they won't have much exposure to Dutch over here (except from me). English would be easier as most foreigners communicate in English and there are plenty of English learning books available.

But you say Lao came easily, so that sounds hopeful.

 

The Dutch embassy is not much of a help: the country is too small to assist with these kinds of things. But I will check anyways.

I did find some Dutch language courses online for kids, so maybe thats an option also.

[fa4960]

13 minutes ago, Bob12345 said:

Another rule is to only teach them your native language, as my wife speaks English with a Thai accent and I have a Dutch accent. 

But they will be exposed to English anyways as we need to communicate together in front of them also.

 

I am sure going to try it, and know it will be a rough ride. 

 

Do you boys get an exposure to your native language later on?

They won't reach "native" level anymore easily, but on holiday trips to your home country they can get a lot of exposure anyways and maybe pick it up as a "foreign language"?

English will come no matter what but you will probably find that if sending them to an International British or American school they will be behind at the start but they will catch up quickly. My oldest was but not the youngest as he has benefitted from them speaking English between them 95% of the time.

 

It is amazing to see bi or multilingual children grow up and develop their language. At the beginning you will hear them mix up the languages, basically not being aware that it is different languages and then suddenly you will hear them having it all sorted out in the "right" boxes and then always know what language to speak to their parents. If you send them to international school you will likely see them adopt English between them as this is how they would communicate with all their school friends and also what these schools demand. When meeting new Thai kids mine always try in English but quickly switches to Thai if/when they realise the Thai kid only speaks Thai, or prefer to speak Thai.

 

My kids will get exposure to my native language (Danish). We leave for DK tomorrow and they will spend 2+ weeks with the DK cousins and due to tougher rules in Denmark regarding the ability for them to keep their DK passports in the future I have also signed them up for DK language classes here in Bangkok, plus online learning. So all is not lost but what probably is lost is them being truly multilingual, having to settle for bilingual speak/read/write in Thai and English but hopefully able to speak and maybe read at least some Danish, plus whatever foreign languages the chose in school later (oldest son having Spanish also since last year).

[nss70]

I think you have to find clearly defined borders somehow. As previously stated one parent one language and when all together the remaining language.

Or once they're old enough, one language at playschool and the other two divided at home.

We made the mistake of not using Thai at all so our kids grew up with just the two languages. My wife said " what's the point  I don't use it here (England) " so without being able to convince her that was that......and guess where we live now! Fortunately the kids have flown.

I wouldn't worry about being regimented about it though, those little sponge brains are amazing, we know loads of kids that can switch effortlessly between 3 or more  languages at quite young ages. They do usually develop a favourite though so the others need to have extra exposure to help them along (so I'm told!).

[cooked]

Don't never forget the meaning of the words "mother tongue".

I knew a very old lady that spoke French only until she was six years old. As she started to fade away, 90 years later, her only language became French again despite speaking perfect German in the time between.

Taking a child's mother tongue away (depriving him of the ability to express himself in that language even though he may understand it well enough) seems to actually damage the child.

[jossthaifarang]

What seems to be working with my son (3 years old), Thai only up until he started first started talking as they do start talking sooner if they only have to process one language. Once he starts talking you then start teaching him everything in 2 languages first. That's hard enough as it is, I would never even attempt a third, that is up to you though. It certainly is going to take a lot more dedication from your side though.

 

In saying that, no two people are the same, you can try the English and Dutch from your side and Thai from the Mrs, It's going to be a lot for them to process though.

 

That's my 10 cents worth, good luck mate.

[RandG]

No experience of 3 languages, but we were told that if we brought our daughter up bi-lingual (German from Mum, English from Dad, both their mother language) then she would be a late starter with speaking. This proved to be totally untrue and she was no slower, and if any earlier than other children of friends, children at the nursery she went to etc. We started from the day she was born. When she was a little older, if she had friends round, my wife would still speak to our daughter in German, but then just repeat it in English for the visitor. She has just completed a law degree at Oxford, so it certainly did no harm.

 

With regards to Thai, how much time will the children be spending with grandparents? We found time spent with Grandma helped a lot, even though it was only a couple of times a year for a week or two. Is it likely that the children will have a nanny at all. German friends of ours in Thailand had a nanny when the children were younger and that helped their childrens' Thai no end.

 

We have various friends where the children are tri-lingual and it has done them no harm and of course helps them in their adult life.

 

Good luck. It is worth the effort.

[fa4960]

One thing worth mentioning - although I think you got it covered in your plans.

 

As my kids are half Thai and born in Thailand as well as likely to complete the secondary schooling here also, I consider Thailand their home country. Hence my wife and I have from very early age had a lot of focus on them learning Thai. We have had a Thai teacher coming by every weekend for several hours teaching them Thai since they were app 3 years old. My oldest is now 10 and I see that many of his half Thai half foreigner friends from school have little or no capabilities in Thai and their mothers now suddenly find themselves jealous that our kids are fluent. Most of these mothers have university educations, travel the World every school break and still seem to find it unimportant for their kids to learn Thai from a young age - however as many of them now seem to regret it they find it close to impossible to get their kids to put effort into it at the age of 10 or older... No matter how good an education these kids may get at an overseas university they will struggle landing a (well paid) job in Thailand later should they desire to come back here again.

 

The situation is of course different for those where both parents are foreign but there I have also seen amazing result where a Thai nanny has been involved and only spoken Thai with the kids.

 

I think language is an important thing we can give our kids and I do regret not doing it a little better with Danish from the beginning.......but better late than never!

[cooked]

1 hour ago, RandG said:

...

 

With regards to Thai, how much time will the children be spending with grandparents? We found time spent with Grandma helped a lot, even though it was only a couple of times a year for a week or two. Is it likely that the children will have a nanny at all. German friends of ours in Thailand had a nanny when the children were younger and that helped their childrens' Thai no end.

 

We have various friends where the children are tri-lingual and it has done them no harm and of course helps them in their adult life.

 

Good luck. It is worth the effort.

That is true, our kid started talking English (although we knew she understood well enough) after a two week visit from UK friends with a three year 0old kid.

[Bredbury Blue]

My kids are fluent in English (my language) and thai (mum). In all seriousness we had no plans of how to teach our 2 kids these languages, we just spoke to them. We often mixed up the languages in a sentence and would sometimes use a thai or an English word with them whichever we thought was easiest. They pick it easy and work it out. Later we put thwm in bilingual school (Sarasad). They pretty much picked english up from me and school lessons as they are exposed mainly to thai. They chose for themselves at an early age that they prefer to watch tv in english. Strangely they've never picked up isaan dialect the wife and M.O.I speak to each in. I wouldn't worry too much OP just talk to them in the 3 languages and they'll pick it up conversationally; for reading and writing you'll need to tutor them yourself in your dutch.

[Katia]

4 hours ago, Bob12345 said:

Another rule is to only teach them your native language, as my wife speaks English with a Thai accent and I have a Dutch accent. 

So I am a bit hesitant to teach them English.

But they will be exposed to English anyways as we need to communicate together in front of them also.

 

I know many people whose parents speak with accents, from Scottish to Arabic to Thai to Indian, and the children themselves have none (or, if you want to be specific, none besides the one native to where they grew up, which to them is no accent).  My guess is that yours will, as others said, also pick up enough English at school to take an accent from neither parent. 

 

Also, accents are changeable, even in adulthood.  I knew someone who moved from the Midwest to Kentucky and within months had a southern accent.  I knew someone else who grew up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and immediately picked the accent back up when she returned there for her wedding... first time I'd ever heard it in as long as I knew her, so clearly she lost it when she moved out of the area and easily gained it again even for a short visit.  Put me somewhere long enough and I'll start picking up speech patterns and even accents from the people I'm surrounded by, rather unconsciously.  People who exist in more than one culture are known to easily and unconsciously switch between speech patterns, depending on who they're with.

[greenchair]

I spoke only English to my son and home schooled until 5 years. 

My husband spoke only thai, though my son was weak because only at night time. At 3 I made sure my son got very fluent in reading and writing one language, English. 

At 5 I taught him to read and write basic thai then sent to thai school. After 2 years he mastered thai more fluently. Then I introduced Chinese starting with reading and writing. By 9 he is fluent in all 3 but a bit weaker in Chinese. 

From what I have read. You should keep your kids faaaaarrrr far away from computers. It effects the brain terribly. 

[khunPer]

I'm Danish with a luk khrueng (half Thai) daughter – so similar problem like Holland, with a small language that sound very weird. 

 

As my daughter was born in Thiland, and I was not married to the mom, she could at that time not apply for Danish citizenship, and Denmark would neither allow dual nationality – yes, we had some strict rules – so initially Thailand was the future, and Denmark not even an option; also as we live in Thailand and have no wish for moving to Denmark. From that view English and Thai were the important languages, and I preferred that my daughter became better in two languages, than not so good in three...

 

Having settles in a tourist area even the nursery would teach English words and Latin letters, and I had the possibility of a good EP (English Program) School with native English teachers, even from Kindergaten class, so my daughter's English would not be with too much Danish accent, but she would rather correct me. In that way bilingual came naturally, and the school furthermore teach Chinese language, which I consider more important for an all South East Asia future, than Danish.

 

If OP has the option of EP School or International School, that is worth considering.

 

However a recent verdict by the EU Court forced Denmark to change the rules, so a child born abroad with a Danish father shall be considered Danish citizen, and children born before the Law change shall be able to apply for Danish citizenship, so suddenly that became an option, even the application process lasted almost two years. At the same time Denmark allowed dual nationality since last year.

 

It's not changing that we have settled in Thailand, and my daughter's school with continue here after EP Primary School, probably in an International School Y-8 to Y-11.

 

The next process for a third language – or rather fourth, if the school-Chinese is also counted – is me speaking Danish, and an online course. We have a Danish society for Danish families living abroad, which offers both online education in different levels, and Summer language school in Denmark, and local Danish supplementary language schooling in a number of countries, including Thailand in Bangkok in cooperating with the Danish embassy. The online language course, and eventually a Summer School, will be the program for obtaining some Danish language – Bangkok is unfortunately not an option, as we live far away.

 

OP should check if there are any similar societies for Dutch people living abroad – the Danish society is not only for expats and retired folks, but as much for the quite big number of people stationed abroad in multi national companies; or having an International career, and eventually later return to their homeland – in my view a teacher, even online, may be more inspiring than dad only...

[madusa]

Hi there, first of all don't ever listen to some people telling you that if the baby is too young (before a certain age) you shouldn't speak different languages to them they would get confused and it's bad for their education later. What a big load of hogwash.

Yes, pure hogwash I must say because when I was a kid from the time I was a baby there were 3 dialects spoken in the family plus the national language. Then by the time I was in primary school I studied English and also the native language of the country.

I never get one bit confused about anything for that matter, in fact it was good for my education I was more alert and aware of many different forms of communication.

If you google "Bella the girl who speaks 7 languages at 4 years old"  you will see for yourself how well she speaks all 7 languages and even read them. She was only 4 at that time. She didn't just say hello and how are you? She actually answer your questions. She is Russian. She speak french with good accent and even conjugate the verbs correctly. Just amaze you totally. Of course the show was not staged because she was asked to say whatever she liked to say  not just answer the questions put to her. Her seven languages are : English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Spanish, German and Russian(her native tongue)

What I read in books written by language expert is that baby automatically understand different languages and switch to the correct language that was taught to her. Yes, sometimes you do have to point out to her that,that word is in Thai or in English otherwise no real problem exists.

By the way there is a silent period before they start talking but that doesn't mean they are not learning anything at all. The language experts studied immigrant children in schools, at first there was  a silent period for quite sometime and when they were ready they started speaking very well. Immigrant children always speak better in the language of their adopted country than their parents who were struggling to get on with the language. Sometimes these children correct the language spoken by their parents imagine that.

Good luck to you, you don't need anything special to teach your kids, just talk to them as you normally do and you will be surprised how fast they learn.

When you talk to them they don't say anything but staring at you because they are absorbing all there is to learn not that they go blank like what some people think, or confused, no, they are never confused that's for sure.  I for one didn't get confused with 3 different dialects spoken in the parent house.

[lesinthai]

I have a daughter and a son, just over 1 year old. Because of my background I have a particular interest in languages, and coincidentally, we are speaking the same three as you mentioned, and are making a concerted effort to add a fourth (my in-laws speak Teocheow). I have read up loads about language acquisition within the last year, besides of what I already knew from experience. Our plan is more or less what several people have already mentioned. I speak Dutch to them, my wife and the nanny speak Thai (and the nanny sometimes speaks Isaan though I don't know how much, but that can only be good), and the in-laws speak Thai but are encouraged to speak more Teocheow. When my wife and me are with them, we speak English. Both our English is decent to good, but even if it wasn't, that wouldn't matter, as long as the kids get the basics correctly. They can fine-tune things later in school or elsewhere (friends, etc...). I don't have much time in Dutch, they have a lot of Thai, they get some English and probably not as much Teocheow as we would want, but it is a long-term game, and as long as everyone sticks to their 'task', then the kids will pick up that each parent speaks something else, that other speak something else again and that there are some 'ways' that will work for several people. It is very likely that the kids will be drawn to one or two languages in the future and may even refuse to speak the other(s) for a period of time, but that is when you calmly stick to your guns and keep going as you did before. Most likely the kids will come around again. If need be (when they are a few years old) you can always dress it up as a way to 'have secret conversations' that others cannot understand, or something along those lines. If you are worried that some languages don't get enough exposure, which is actually very important, then there is always Facetime or simply Facebook Messenger, with video, where your wife can speak to the kids for a while before they go to sleep, for example, if she is working. It kind of goes against our no screen policy (see below), but we sometimes make use of it too.

 

With regards to materials, there is lots of English and Thai stuff available everywhere here. For Dutch I rely on family to buy new or second-hand books and other items, e.g. bol.com, etc... Google is (sometimes) your friend :) The items are then brought over when they visit or sent via mail. For Chinese, and toys in general, we have found loads of cheap kids' books and other items on Aliexpress.com (free shipping!).

 

What we have also done is creating playlists of Youtube children's songs and children's stories in all 4 languages. We have a strict no-screen policy for the kids (no phones, TV or tablets for the time being), but they can still listen to it for now, and can see us sing along and/or act it out.

 

Finally, all the books we have are often read out to them in other languages, e.g. a Thai book might be read to them in English or Dutch, etc... That way they get used to the same story/content in different languages. Good for making connections between words in other languages eventually.

 

That's about the most important stuff I can think of now, language-related. If you've got questions, feel free to get in touch

 

[rickudon]

After unfortunately neglecting the opportunity to ensure my first 2 children were bilingual, thinking they would catch up later, i was determined to do it better this time around. 

 

I spoke to my daughter only in English, and told my wife to use Thai as much as possible (she sometimes uses english if i am around). There was also other Thai family members around. I also used flashcards in English from around 6-8 months. Her first word was 'Starfruit' (from the flashcards) at about 12 months.She initially spoke just English, but after my next trip to the UK (gone about 3 months) she was speaking mainly Thai. From about 2 years (might have been earlier) started on Youtube with ABC songs and counting, followed by other videos in series about colours, shapes, names of animals etc. By the age of 3 she could count to 20, recite alphabet, recognise letters etc, 

 

At age 5 she is fluent in both languages and reads English (bur not Thai). And yes, she quickly sorted out which language to speak and didn't mix them up much, So parents should speak mainly their native languages, and English she can also get online ....... yes computers became a problem when she discovered games but she was by then far ahead, (even taught herself some Spanish when listening to Dora the explorer).

[Acharn]

Babies are hard-wired to learn languages. I read a story about a guy who, when he was a baby, his mother spoke to him in French, his father spoke to him in English, and the maid spoke to him in German. So he developed the idea that each person was supposed to make up their own peculiar language.  My experience, at a later age, is that we learn a language by speaking it. I would say to start with you should speak to them in Dutch every day, and coax them to reply to you in Dutch when they start speaking. Your wife should speak to them in Thai, and ask them to reply to her in Thai after they get old enough to start speaking. Just off the top of my head I'd say maybe a year after that, when they have enough language to understand, maybe start speaking to them in English. That's going to be a little complicated until they've acquired enough words to reply. Might be a good idea to turn on English language programs on the TV. Thai PBS often has English language documentaries in the afternoon, sometimes a Thai announcer will make a comment or a very brief explanation. The thing is, they're going to have a hard time learning English unless you and your wife can speak to them in it for long periods. I know a Thai girl whose mother is German but whose godmother is American and whose Thai father is fluent in English. She also worked in the office of an international school and had a chance to speak every day with different English speakers. She's virtually bilingual in the sense that both English and Thai are like first languages to her. I'll have to ask her sometime if she speaks German. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about language teaching material until they're seven or eight, but you should find books to read to them at bedtime every night starting when they're about three or four. 

[rct99q]

Have two kids here who are fluent in thai and english. As well as having a working knowledge of a third and fourth.

One is 16 english, thai, okay in mandarin & vietnamese.

The other is four and can flip effortlessly between thai & english and is showing signs of a basic understanding of french (which neither my wife nor i speak).

We started early with both kids! Day one. Speaking to them both. Wife - thai, me - english. 

We have taught thru songs, stories, everyday conversations. 

The oldest was using books, flash cards etc as we did not use or have internet back then.

The 4 year old i use the internet and has proved to be the better of the two methods. Using it in a controlled manner with time limits in conjunction with hands on activities i anticipate no "learning" or behavioral problems. In fact I feel having a child in this day and age not having a working knowledge of a tablet or smart phone will be a disadvantage.

I worked with a linguist a few years back and they stated most children can handle as many languages as they are exposed to. Children will work out which language works best for them. Just think almost every child is bilingual. Just the other language is numbers, which in itself is a form of language. And we never doubt that a child will learn their abc's and learn the language of mathmatics.

It is believed the best time frame for learning 2nd or 3rd languages is between birth and age 3. This is believed to be the optimal age range. This is then followed by age group of between 2 thru 7 and finally early teen years to be exposed to a second language. 

Thankfully every child is different and it is never too late to keep learning.

1- parent should only use their native language

2 - there should be some sort of motivation for the child to learn a second, third, or fourth language

3 - there should be some form of reinforcement to using a second or third language (friends outside of the home environment) maybe playing a sport outside of the home using only a secondary language etc.

 

Good luck. 

[oslooskar]

I made it a rule when my son was growing up that he speak only English with me and only Thai with his mother.

[DLang]

You and your family speak Dutch with them, also consider Dutch playgroups if there are other Dutch speaking families in your region.

 

Cartoons, TV shows and Schooling in English - International School, also English playgroups with other English speaking families in your region. 

 

Wife and her family and neighbors speak Thai with them. 

Edited July 18, 2017 by DLang

[timber]

The earlier the better.  Multi Language kids have a problem mixing up words in the early years, and as time goes on around six years of age they will start sorting things out.  After the age of six then what you teach them will turn into a second language.  If you want them to be fluent the earlier the better.  The brain treats repeated sounds as something that is important, and will make connections to these sounds, as a survival thing.  Lots of information on the net just have to figure what is important.  Don't what to be changing the system you agree on using.  Main thing is to do lots of homework.  Every body has an opinion, but few have a practical approach.  One of the biggest things in learning a language is frequent exposure.  Is a commitment for a ten years or so.  Duke University, Stanford University have smart people that are willing to help.  Ask lots of  questions your time is impor

tant.

 

Edited July 18, 2017 by timber
spelling mistake

[Bob12345]

Lots of great advice coming by here, thanks a lot everybody.

At the start I was a bit afraid of going for 3 languages and considered introducing Dutch at a later stage, but I am now sure to do all three right from the start.

 

On my next trip home I will get some extra books for them for coming year and otherwise I will just read them English books but translate it quickly when telling them the story.

I still have my doubts about using the internet, too much research and studies pointing to problems later on when they get used to interactive games and language programs. I am actually hoping I can go through a ton of books together with them as I never read much fiction and there are some great films and series based on books.

 

Basically the plan now is as follows:
- when I am alone with the kids I will speak Dutch

- when my wife is around I will speak English and she will do English to me and some Thai to them

- when we have to opportunity we will submerge them in one language (school, playgroups, family trips)

Edited July 18, 2017 by Bob12345

[benalibina]

Hi,

 

Am dutch too. Have done similarly in the past with my kids. Agreed as well with my wife that she occasionally would speak english to the kids. After a while I saw that she was not really willing to do that so I spoke dutch and english. I took my twindaughters every night to bed and read bedtime stories for them always in dutch. I saw the importance of language but my wife not. I had to let it go somewhat in order for harmony in the house to remain.

 

Anyway fast forward 5 years of not living with my kids it saddens me to write that my kids, 10 and 11 years old, only speak thai and have no interest in learning any language. This due to ......

 

Make sure that you stick to your plans and your wife too. Dont make the same mistake as I did. 

 

Veel succes.

[sandemara]

The best facsimile you can manage of creating a total immersion language scenario for your children should work.  

The sooner you and your wife commit to a workable plan, the better results and benefits your children will gain.  

Start as soon as possible.  Children absorb far more information and learning in their first 5-7 years of life than at any other stage. Their brains can easily handle an extra language if you do it right.

If they recognise a third language is part of life's deal they'll adapt and thrive.  The concerns or  fears expressed in posts about hindering their prime language development are nonsense.

Commitment, persistence and presenting an attitude that such language gymnastics are normal and appropriate will make your task easier. Chopping and changing strategy midstream would be disastrous for the kids.  

 ertc.Ensure your language instruction also includes associated cultural awareness - celebrate and acknowledge all major cultural events as well (Xmas, Buddhist Lent.etc. Highlight national holidays and historical events of all 3 languages as well..

Such activities will help validate and reinforce the relevance of each language in their lives as well.  

Ensure your social circle includes friends who are native speakers of the three languages.  You and your wife, between you, should insist on applying the same standards - using all 3 languages when appropriate - to yourselves as well.  :

Little children are born with  extremely sensitive Bullshit detectors as well as a highly-developed sense of fairness.  If the two people setting the standards in their lives have different rules for themselves you've already lost on this proposal, so don't bother starting if you can't match the commitment you expect from the kids.

I strongly advise you drop that dumb attitude that "I'll be excluded when my wife speaks Thai". and seek ways to sabotage the immersion principle instead  You're already planting BS values (welcome to racism, kids! You can get away with it too.just like dear ol' dad).

If you want the children to understand the exercise and embrace the idea that the effort is worth it for them, prove it!

Start learning to speak Thai and use it. Especially in front of the kids. Show them you believe learning and adapting is a normal, valuable life skill for everyone.

Immersion, I hope you understand, also means sharing reading, audio and film/tv material based in all three languages, from straight news to cartoons, movies etc. Greas literature = not just tech manuals, can come later.

Fun ahead! Good luck.

[FritsSikkink]

You speak Dutch to them, your wife speaks Thai to them. They will pick up the English later from when you speak together.

[timber]

 benalibina made a good comment about there has to be a commitment on the part of the parents and it isn't easy.  Both parents need to have the same desire and work together.