How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[SanukJoe]

Respect guys. We respect your decision to not pay, please respect our decision to pay and follow thai culture and tradition. We did it voluntarily, we don't regret it and we were not scammed. There are stories of scams, absolutely, but as someone mentioned, you get what you are yourself. On top a couple of scams doesn't mean it's general, right?

Joe

Eh? So you are saying that the blokes that got scammed had it comming?

Some blokes are too stupid to realise that the BG who is telling them they fell in love are playing games. If you are that stupid you deserve to be scammed. It's all about reality. If sin sot is 2 million: crazy but still up to the guy. I know in Isaan families are ashamed of daughters who work as a BG, they don't expect sin sot. But as BG are used to go for the money they will tell the guy it's necessary while culture.

You see we have 2 ways to look at it. Serious girls/women who live to their culture and stick to it, families who are proud of their daughters, who gave their daughter education although they had no money. And then girls (not only BG) who exploit thai tradition by telling her "boyfriend" that he needs to pay it (to her preferably). It goes in her pocket and bye bye BF.

As there was a question about it: yes I'm married to a thai (Isaan) woman, not 20 years old, not left school at 7, but a well educated woman who had a good job before she was left by her thai husband.

She is a pearl in the sea, shines like a diamond, is more careful with money than I am and showed me what real love and commitment means.

Joe

[leftcross]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

[chuchok]

Respect guys. We respect your decision to not pay, please respect our decision to pay and follow thai culture and tradition. We did it voluntarily, we don't regret it and we were not scammed. There are stories of scams, absolutely, but as someone mentioned, you get what you are yourself. On top a couple of scams doesn't mean it's general, right?

Joe

Eh? So you are saying that the blokes that got scammed had it comming?

Some blokes are too stupid to realise that the BG who is telling them they fell in love are playing games. If you are that stupid you deserve to be scammed. It's all about reality. If sin sot is 2 million: crazy but still up to the guy. I know in Isaan families are ashamed of daughters who work as a BG, they don't expect sin sot. But as BG are used to go for the money they will tell the guy it's necessary while culture.

You see we have 2 ways to look at it. Serious girls/women who live to their culture and stick to it, families who are proud of their daughters, who gave their daughter education although they had no money. And then girls (not only BG) who exploit thai tradition by telling her "boyfriend" that he needs to pay it (to her preferably). It goes in her pocket and bye bye BF.

As there was a question about it: yes I'm married to a thai (Isaan) woman, not 20 years old, not left school at 7, but a well educated woman who had a good job before she was left by her thai husband.

She is a pearl in the sea, shines like a diamond, is more careful with money than I am and showed me what real love and commitment means.

Joe

that's a very simplistic way of looking at it...only two ways to look at things.

As has been mentioned by Lefty,just because it is in your experience,or your wife or her family...doesn't make it fact.many Thai people would disagree with paying a sin sot on a previously married woman....

Some Thai people don't pay a sin sot at all.So there is four ways to look at it.....so far.

BTW, I bet the Issan families that are ashamed of daughters working etc, are not too ashamed to accept money from their children whan it starts rolling in.

[JacknDanny]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

I am NOT married. I have not paid sin sot, therefore I am probably more objective than Joe or yourself.

You HAVE made several remarks which can be construed as being particularly offensive.

There is no excuse to the remarks that were made to you, but I wish that you could be persuaded to re read your own comments and understand the offense they have caused

[Neeranam]

As there was a question about it: yes I'm married to a thai (Isaan) woman, not 20 years old, not left school at 7, but a well educated woman who had a good job before she was left by her thai husband.

She is a pearl in the sea, shines like a diamond, is more careful with money than I am and showed me what real love and commitment means.

Joe

You don't say how old she is - this makes a big difference in terms of whether a sin sot should be paid and the amount. If she's 35 years old, then she would think she had won the lottery if she got sin sot after being married.

I'd rather hear experiences than opinions.

Edited January 7, 2007 by Neeranam

[meadish_sweetball]

Since Joe got the Sin Sod back anyway, does it matter in the slightest?

[BlackArtemis]

I have a question, anyone know of people paying sin sod to a Christian family?

[Neeranam]

Since Joe got the Sin Sod back anyway, does it matter in the slightest?

I think so. If his wife is the same age as him - do you think sin sot is normal?

[meadish_sweetball]

Not normal perhaps, but certainly optional.

It probably made his wife feel proud, and her parents. Again noting that Joe says the money was returned, wouldn't that be a win win situation?

[Neeranam]

I have a question, anyone know of people paying sin sod to a Christian family?

Yes - a lot of chinese families are Christian. We all know that they'll do anything to get more money. There are probably a lot more Thai/Chinese women marry just for money than those from Eesarn.

[BlackArtemis]

My Fiancee is 75% Thai 25% Chinese and her family told me they don't want me to pay sin sod. On top of that she makes more money than I do :shrug:

I was just wondering if it was a much more buddhist tradition like an engagement ring is more of a christian tradition.

[SanukJoe]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

You still, after all the posts and recommendations, not read the topic on sin sot, MS wasa referring to it again and urged people to read it before writing about sin sot. You still have no idea what it really is. You still mention it's money to buy the girl, to get permission to marry her.

NO sir, NO, NO, NO

Sin sot is not paid for a service (like with prostitutes) and as someone mentioned: would anyone ever get money back from a protitute??

You called my wife a prostitute as I paid sin sot. That is a mean and low level insult. So your overreacted posts about knocking and meeting are also far below any level, as now you feel suddenly what it means if your wife is insulted. Why don't you stop insulting and being agressive and read the topic "sin sot, what is it?"

Joe

[SanukJoe]

Since Joe got the Sin Sod back anyway, does it matter in the slightest?

Thanks MS, you hit the nail.

[SanukJoe]

You don't say how old she is - this makes a big difference in terms of whether a sin sot should be paid and the amount. If she's 35 years old, then she would think she had won the lottery if she got sin sot after being married.

I'd rather hear experiences than opinions.

Also you still haven't the slightest idea what sin sot is. You keep it treating like the buying price of cattle, the older the cow the less money. How can people so narrow minded?

Read my posts on sin sot I paid and you might understand that it was not a big deal (not a lot of money) and it was promised on forehand (wives arrange that with their parents) that I would get it back.

To feed your curiosity: my wife is 33 years old, mother of 2 wonderful kids (9 and 6) and we adopted the daughter of her brother (4). As posted before WE decided to marry (nothing to do with sin sot) and the engagement ceremony was filled with laughter because of talking about sin sot. It was not relevant as my wife told me before I would get it back. What's the problem?

On top we got 2 rai to build the house on, so I don't need to buy that land, a real win/win situation.

Joe

[bkkmadness]

You still, after all the posts and recommendations, not read the topic on sin sot, MS wasa referring to it again and urged people to read it before writing about sin sot. You still have no idea what it really is. You still mention it's money to buy the girl, to get permission to marry her.

NO sir, NO, NO, NO

You did need to read more about sinsod to understand it Leftcross, it's not an exchange of money for services at all. When the money is paid back you can't make that comparison at all.

[leftcross]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

You still, after all the posts and recommendations, not read the topic on sin sot, MS wasa referring to it again and urged people to read it before writing about sin sot. You still have no idea what it really is. You still mention it's money to buy the girl, to get permission to marry her.

NO sir, NO, NO, NO

Sin sot is not paid for a service (like with prostitutes) and as someone mentioned: would anyone ever get money back from a protitute??

You called my wife a prostitute as I paid sin sot. That is a mean and low level insult. So your overreacted posts about knocking and meeting are also far below any level, as now you feel suddenly what it means if your wife is insulted. Why don't you stop insulting and being agressive and read the topic "sin sot, what is it?"

Joe

i read the topic when it first went up, when another of these regular threads was going.

i understand sin sod, but i didnt pay it and never would. the wife's family didnt want one and suggested that it wasnt their culture to want one (nothern thai culture is very distinct to isaan)

i didnt call your wife a prostitute, i never would. however you yourself have said she is a divorcee (with kids???) and no thai man would pay a sin sod under those circumstances - even if he had read the topic on sin sod on thaivisa....

that's not a personal insult but a fact.

[bkkmadness]

Respect guys. We respect your decision to not pay, please respect our decision to pay and follow thai culture and tradition. We did it voluntarily, we don't regret it and we were not scammed. There are stories of scams, absolutely, but as someone mentioned, you get what you are yourself. On top a couple of scams doesn't mean it's general, right?

Joe

Eh? So you are saying that the blokes that got scammed had it comming?

Some blokes are too stupid to realise that the BG who is telling them they fell in love are playing games. If you are that stupid you deserve to be scammed. It's all about reality. If sin sot is 2 million: crazy but still up to the guy. I know in Isaan families are ashamed of daughters who work as a BG, they don't expect sin sot. But as BG are used to go for the money they will tell the guy it's necessary while culture.

You see we have 2 ways to look at it. Serious girls/women who live to their culture and stick to it, families who are proud of their daughters, who gave their daughter education although they had no money. And then girls (not only BG) who exploit thai tradition by telling her "boyfriend" that he needs to pay it (to her preferably). It goes in her pocket and bye bye BF.

As there was a question about it: yes I'm married to a thai (Isaan) woman, not 20 years old, not left school at 7, but a well educated woman who had a good job before she was left by her thai husband.

She is a pearl in the sea, shines like a diamond, is more careful with money than I am and showed me what real love and commitment means.

Joe

that's a very simplistic way of looking at it...only two ways to look at things.

As has been mentioned by Lefty,just because it is in your experience,or your wife or her family...doesn't make it fact.many Thai people would disagree with paying a sin sot on a previously married woman....

Some Thai people don't pay a sin sot at all.So there is four ways to look at it.....so far.

Agreed it was very simplistic. Many families do not want a sinsod and they are not less traditional than other families, remember that traditions change.

[bkkmadness]

i understand sin sod,

Then why do you keep saying it's an exchange of cash? If the cash is paid back nothing is exchanged.

i didnt call your wife a prostitute, i never would.

Well you did say that a woman that had been paid a sinsod could be compared to a prostitute Lefty, hardly the best choice of words was it.

however you yourself have said she is a divorcee (with kids???) and no thai man would pay a sin sod under those circumstances - even if he had read the topic on sin sod on thaivisa....

that's not a personal insult but a fact.

Yeah, gotta agree, a sinsod would not usually be expected or offered in these circumstances by a Thai guy. Of course then it comes down to personal choice. Joe chose to pay, fair enough to him.

My personal feelings are that just because a woman is divorced it shouldn't effect the money offered for sinsod. On the other hand I don't think money should be used to get people respect .

[SanukJoe]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

You still, after all the posts and recommendations, not read the topic on sin sot, MS wasa referring to it again and urged people to read it before writing about sin sot. You still have no idea what it really is. You still mention it's money to buy the girl, to get permission to marry her.

NO sir, NO, NO, NO

Sin sot is not paid for a service (like with prostitutes) and as someone mentioned: would anyone ever get money back from a protitute??

You called my wife a prostitute as I paid sin sot. That is a mean and low level insult. So your overreacted posts about knocking and meeting are also far below any level, as now you feel suddenly what it means if your wife is insulted. Why don't you stop insulting and being agressive and read the topic "sin sot, what is it?"

Joe

i read the topic when it first went up, when another of these regular threads was going.

i understand sin sod, but i didnt pay it and never would. the wife's family didnt want one and suggested that it wasnt their culture to want one (nothern thai culture is very distinct to isaan)

i didnt call your wife a prostitute, i never would. however you yourself have said she is a divorcee (with kids???) and no thai man would pay a sin sod under those circumstances - even if he had read the topic on sin sod on thaivisa....

that's not a personal insult but a fact.

You miss the nail every time again. Your first post tells that every man who pays sin sot is comparable with a man paying money for a prostitute, right? So all men who paid sin sot have prostitute wives. If you didn't want to say it that way, be a big man and apologise.

Divorcee no sin sot. Read posts of Else (Isaan woman, highly educated, living in USA) mentioned no difference if a woman is virgin, had sex before is was married before.

Read posts of Old wandere who tells about his THAI brother in law paying sin sot whilst marrying a divorced woman with kid.

You have no idea, you just open your mouth and think something clever is coming out. Have you read the topic now about sin sot? Or you don't bother?

Joe

[leftcross]

you should face facts joe. im not having a personal go at you. divorced thai women with kids are not 'sinsotable'

i dont agree with it but they are viewed as used goods.

[SanukJoe]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

From your first post clever boy. All who pay are insulted by your waords as you call their wives prostitutes!!!

Remember what you wrote before accusing others!

Joe

in my eyes, there is a connection between paying a woman and her family a sum of cash for marriage and paying a woman for sex. there is an exchange of cash for a service. would you disagree that there is any connection between these two processes?

that is why i was uncomfortable with the idea of a sin sod. i married my wife for love with no exchange of cash involved and that was the only way i was prepared to do it.

dont even bother trying to pick holes in my posts old man in an attempt to take the sting out of what jing jing said from the comfort of his pc.

You still, after all the posts and recommendations, not read the topic on sin sot, MS wasa referring to it again and urged people to read it before writing about sin sot. You still have no idea what it really is. You still mention it's money to buy the girl, to get permission to marry her.

NO sir, NO, NO, NO

Sin sot is not paid for a service (like with prostitutes) and as someone mentioned: would anyone ever get money back from a protitute??

You called my wife a prostitute as I paid sin sot. That is a mean and low level insult. So your overreacted posts about knocking and meeting are also far below any level, as now you feel suddenly what it means if your wife is insulted. Why don't you stop insulting and being agressive and read the topic "sin sot, what is it?"

Joe

i read the topic when it first went up, when another of these regular threads was going.

i understand sin sod, but i didnt pay it and never would. the wife's family didnt want one and suggested that it wasnt their culture to want one (nothern thai culture is very distinct to isaan)

i didnt call your wife a prostitute, i never would. however you yourself have said she is a divorcee (with kids???) and no thai man would pay a sin sod under those circumstances - even if he had read the topic on sin sod on thaivisa....

that's not a personal insult but a fact.

Just out of curiosity: would you have left your GF if sin sot was a big item? I mean the girl you loved so much would be left alone because of a handful of bucks which you get back anyway? Tell me, would you have ended the relationship?

Joe

[chuchok]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

[leftcross]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

[SanukJoe]

you should face facts joe. im not having a personal go at you. divorced thai women with kids are not 'sinsotable'

i dont agree with it but they are viewed as used goods.

Sin sot is paid to families of women in Thailand. Not all follow it but the majority. I guess you are confused by something else.

It is known that thai men don't like to marry divorced women (with kids) that is something else and totally different. Why they don't want? Because they want to make their own children! That's why so many children are raised by their grandparents, to give a divorced woman a chance to find a new (thai) partner again.

We farangs are not so sensitive in that. In farangland 3 out of 4 marriages get lost and divorce, divorced men and women remarry, no problem. So that might explain why not many thai men pay sin sot to the family of a divorced woman, they don't marry them! Fact. The few that marry them pay sin sot as the majority does.

I still find you insulted the women of those who paid sin sot, you say you did not intend to, then be a man and say sorry.

Joe

[BlackArtemis]

Not to throw gas on the fire, but if you were against paying sin sod wouldn't you find out their views long before it got to the point of such a strong loving commitment? I knew the family and their position on many things before talking with the parents for their blessing.

[SanukJoe]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

As I said twice before: you really loved her then!

[SanukJoe]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

[leftcross]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

As I said twice before: you really loved her then!

being in love doesnt mean you abandon your own identity and values.

[bkkmadness]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

As I said twice before: you really loved her then!

SanukJoe if you were under the impression that sinsod was about buying a wife wouldn't you have taken a similar stance?

[SanukJoe]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

Some farang tradition: bride wears white dress, as a sign she is virgin

You realise how many divorced women (with kids) marry in white?