my wife wont believe me

[colinneil]

Just now, catman20 said:

agree your comment is silly, i am sure your wife would be very happy to know the reason why you married her. you should of married a carer or a maid.

Yet another stupid comment from you, you need to get out more.

As 99% of members here know, my accident happened 3 years ago, and we have been married for 6 years.

So stop your insulting remarks please.

[catman20]

5 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Yet another stupid comment from you, you need to get out more.

As 99% of members here know, my accident happened 3 years ago, and we have been married for 6 years.

So stop your insulting remarks please.

i agree with you yet again with your comment. you should of said that a first, and im in the 1% sorry to hear about your accident. you also never mentioned that you got married prior to your accident. TV members are smart i know but we are not all mind readers.  please stop your aggressive attitude. 

[bazza73]

11 hours ago, PomPolo said:

Things to watch out for
1) Excessive phone usage
 

Perhaps you could introduce us to a Thai who uses their phone in moderation - I've yet to see one.

[jacko45k]

Thai wives expect you to lie, stop telling her the truth!

[bberrythailand]

Next time choose one who understand when you speak.

 

And also teach her that you are not interested by the stupid things that she has to say.

 

 

[Tanoshi]

43 minutes ago, bberrythailand said:

Next time choose one who understand when you speak.

 

And also teach her that you are not interested by the stupid things that she has to say.

 

 

Perhaps she is trying to speak the same as she hears!

[melvinmelvin]

some ye

[transam]

47 minutes ago, bberrythailand said:

Next time choose one who understand when you speak.

 

And also teach her that you are not interested by the stupid things that she has to say.

 

 

Hows Scunthorpe...?

[melvinmelvin]

Some years ago, about 8 I think, I was in a similar situation as the OP.

Was not married, but had a long time GF, we sort of planned getting married and me

adopting her daughter (16).

We talked about things like inheritance, adoption, divorce, marriage, pension and the like in Thailand and in my home country. (I was working full time then.)

It was like hitting a wall over and over again, no way she would take what I said as the right information. She had an older sister living in Europe which she discussed with now and then and took her words as gospel.

Weird, she was a fairly modern woman, 42, financially independent, masters degree. But no way I could get through with how things were/worked where I come from.

 

I decided that I couldn’t be bothered to waste my time in a relationship with such lack of trust/confidence in me and discontinued the relationship.

Since then I have opted to stay away from Thai women and life in LoS has improved vastly.

 

It is OK adapting to the Thai way but I can’t be bothered to endeavour to adapt to lack of trust and confidence in me.

[The Deerhunter]

19 hours ago, transam said:

That happens without a farang involved...

Yes.  As seen so often when the family is bought off pressing charges when someone dies and the authoritiies arrange a damages claim witha rake off for themselves.   Sad and disgusting.  No faith in justice being done is another prime driver.  "What if auntie was legally wrong but someone bribed someone and in the eventual outcome, she was actually right?  Too late by then.  Get the money NOW!"

[oldrunner]

My wife of 33 years gets more than $150,000 in insurance, of which she is not worried. It's the military retirement (US Government she does not trust ((who can blame her after Obama)). I've assured her that if the US govt fails, many in the world will be broke, besides, she should be able to provide for herself, children, grandchildren, and a super funeral party. The military retirement amounts to $1,950 per month. In addition, should I die of a heart attack, she will be eligible for Social Security. She has four houses in her name and is much smarter than her elder brother. What more can I do to give her more  peace of mind. I'm 77 years old so she does not have to wait too long for her bounty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DineshR]

14 hours ago, kenk24 said:

It goes beyond speaking the language, and it helps to keep an open mind to the culture and different ways. Sometimes there is genuine logic behind what people sometimes joke about here as Thai logic. You have to start with an understanding that there is a different set of values and some of the things important here are not the same as what is important back home. Once you establish that - then there is a different logic to reaching that ultimate issue of value. 

 

I have seen and heard explanations of things that would never fly in the West, but here, they make perfect sense. I have surely learned to take my time, listen and give some thought to what I see and hear. It is not always my way, but I live in Thailand and do not try to replicate the values of my home country. I find it all a fascinating learning experience. 

 

And yes, learning the language helps and I would like to think that for most, having some knowledge and understanding would be a better place to make opinions from. So, I would hope so??? But, I am not sure how many expats here are too steeped in their own ways?? 

Great pearls of wisdom ... concur with you on your multiple posts in this thread ... I completely agree ... if one want's to live here and maximize the total experience, it's worth the effort to learn the language and customs in order to understand the nuances of living here .... Thai's are just like everyone else in this world though they may be unique in their own right due to how they have evolved through their own political history and religious indoctrination .... I've lived for extended periods (multi years) in different cultures both east and west and through that experience truly believe that we are all one - differentiated only by where we grew up, our life experiences, our traditions and our culture .... we are equally intelligent or stupid as the case may be - Thai's are not stupid - they just look at life through a different lens than some of us ... I think if one wants to get the most out of living here, it behooves one to really immerse yourself in the culture here - learn the language, go to the local festivals, temples, ask a thousand questions, and then it might just all make sense. Been here 14 years + now, and I think Thailand's just an incredible place ... learning something new everyday .... and hopefully making a contribution as well to the family I live with .... life is good !

 

[bazza73]

1 hour ago, DineshR said:

Great pearls of wisdom ... concur with you on your multiple posts in this thread ... I completely agree ... if one want's to live here and maximize the total experience, it's worth the effort to learn the language and customs in order to understand the nuances of living here .... Thai's are just like everyone else in this world though they may be unique in their own right due to how they have evolved through their own political history and religious indoctrination .... I've lived for extended periods (multi years) in different cultures both east and west and through that experience truly believe that we are all one - differentiated only by where we grew up, our life experiences, our traditions and our culture .... we are equally intelligent or stupid as the case may be - Thai's are not stupid - they just look at life through a different lens than some of us ... I think if one wants to get the most out of living here, it behooves one to really immerse yourself in the culture here - learn the language, go to the local festivals, temples, ask a thousand questions, and then it might just all make sense. Been here 14 years + now, and I think Thailand's just an incredible place ... learning something new everyday .... and hopefully making a contribution as well to the family I live with .... life is good !

 

It'd easy for falangs to be supercilious about some Thai beliefs - abandoning houses where violence has occurred, orienting houses and beds to face the way decreed by the monks for good luck, not having a haircut on Wednesday.

 

But then, when I look at some of the beliefs embedded in the Christian religion and Islam, perhaps Thai beliefs are relatively innocent.

[oldhippy]

49 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

It'd easy for falangs to be supercilious about some Thai beliefs - abandoning houses where violence has occurred, orienting houses and beds to face the way decreed by the monks for good luck, not having a haircut on Wednesday.

 

But then, when I look at some of the beliefs embedded in the Christian religion and Islam, perhaps Thai beliefs are relatively innocent.

Exactly which beliefs in christianity are not innocent as compared to Thai "buddhist" beliefs?

Serious question, I am an atheist and always looking for more arguments against christians (and all other believers, religious or political).

 

[The Dark Lord]

19 hours ago, bazza73 said:

The OP needs to execute a Thai will, that will resolve the doubt. I have an Australian will and a Thai will for that very reason.

Think about it - how can the average Thai woman understand the full implications of a will written in English?

For that matter, apart from those with some legal background, can the average farang understand all the nuances in an English written will?

[The Dark Lord]

19 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Correct. I wonder though if their opinions would change if they could speak the lingo.

Speaking for myself only here, with the superstition, religion, peer pressure and educationlevels that the majority are subject to, an emphatic yes!

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, oldhippy said:

Exactly which beliefs in christianity are not innocent as compared to Thai "buddhist" beliefs?

Serious question, I am an atheist and always looking for more arguments against christians (and all other believers, religious or political).

 

Well, I really do not know much about any religion, so, please, with a grain of salt... I find it somewhat hypocritical that Missionaries come here from countries that are mostly Christian and rather unhappy and they try to convert peoplle who seem to be much happier than they are... [like that?] 

 

I also find it rather cruel to tell anyone that they are going to hell for not believing the same way as you do... the local missionaries were giving "free" English classes to anyone who would sit through a 15 minute religion lesson which I was told was nasty fire and brimstone - and I would not let my niece attend and have someone try and teach her that all of her ancestors, and her current family members, are going to burn forever... that is mean spirited. 

[The Dark Lord]

5 hours ago, melvinmelvin said:

 

I decided that I couldn’t be bothered to waste my time in a relationship with such lack of trust/confidence in me and discontinued the relationship.

 

It is OK adapting to the Thai way but I can’t be bothered to endeavour to adapt to lack of trust and confidence in me.

 

Never a more sage posting has been made on TVF. 

[oldhippy]

10 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Well, I really do not know much about any religion, so, please, with a grain of salt... I find it somewhat hypocritical that Missionaries come here from countries that are mostly Christian and rather unhappy and they try to convert peoplle who seem to be much happier than they are... [like that?] 

 

I also find it rather cruel to tell anyone that they are going to hell for not believing the same way as you do... the local missionaries were giving "free" English classes to anyone who would sit through a 15 minute religion lesson which I was told was nasty fire and brimstone - and I would not let my niece attend and have someone try and teach her that all of her ancestors, and her current family members, are going to burn forever... that is mean spirited. 

Are you talking to me or to my great grandfather?

Missionaries? In AD 2017?

 

And many buddhists believe in hell - buddhists that live now! Maybe more than christians, who are beyond that nonsense.

 

So you think that the little people are more happy than us? Sounds slightly racist.... And if so, why are they trying to imitate the farang lifestyle?

 

And stop making me defend the christians - I hate them 555.

 

 

[Squeegee]

Obviously missed the red flags along the way towards marrying into a stupid money-grubbing family.

 

Such is the truth if they think they know better than the UK government information and are clearly making an issue of it. Nobody in that family values you, your opinions, feelings, culture or country. All you have is your wallet for as long as it lasts.

[impulse]

18 hours ago, SOUTHERNSTAR said:

And if I may ask how much have you spend on the rent over the last 14 years? Most properties have a 10 to 14 year breakeven point, meaning that after paying rent for 10 years you have paid an amount equal to the purchase price of that property. Talking about penny wise pound foolish.

 

And if he invested the same amount into a decent group of stocks 14 years ago instead of buying a home, he'd probably have a better overall net worth.  Never leave opportunity cost out of your ROI calculation. 

 

[bazza73]

2 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Exactly which beliefs in christianity are not innocent as compared to Thai "buddhist" beliefs?

Serious question, I am an atheist and always looking for more arguments against christians (and all other believers, religious or political).

 

Off topic, but here's a few examples:

 

Try the concept of original sin until you've been baptised. So a child with no record of transgressing against anyone dying shortly after birth is condemned to Limbo, Hell or Purgatory - can't remember which. What BS.

 

You can be a serial killer under the Roman Catholic confessional. Confess, be absolved of your sin, you are free to go out and do it again.

And the sanctity of the confessional forbids the priest from reporting to the authorities, as any sane person would do.

 

Celibacy in priests does not come from any concept of sanctity. It comes from a desire by the Church to protect church property and other assets from inheritance claims. It is statistically inevitable that when you suppress normal sexual desires, you create an environment for people who will develop abnormalities such as paedophilia. Which is why so many "good" Christians are now being prosecuted or are in the slammer.

 

I understand some evangelicals are now promoting the "prosperity gospel" which actively promotes material success and consumerism. That's a concept which hinges on the acceptance of inequality. Don't think Jesus had that in mind.

[oldhippy]

13 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

Off topic, but here's a few examples:

 

Try the concept of original sin until you've been baptised. So a child with no record of transgressing against anyone dying shortly after birth is condemned to Limbo, Hell or Purgatory - can't remember which. What BS.

 

You can be a serial killer under the Roman Catholic confessional. Confess, be absolved of your sin, you are free to go out and do it again.

And the sanctity of the confessional forbids the priest from reporting to the authorities, as any sane person would do.

 

Celibacy in priests does not come from any concept of sanctity. It comes from a desire by the Church to protect church property and other assets from inheritance claims. It is statistically inevitable that when you suppress normal sexual desires, you create an environment for people who will develop abnormalities such as paedophilia. Which is why so many "good" Christians are now being prosecuted or are in the slammer.

 

I understand some evangelicals are now promoting the "prosperity gospel" which actively promotes material success and consumerism. That's a concept which hinges on the acceptance of inequality. Don't think Jesus had that in mind.

1/ original sin and being born poor because of what you did wrong in a previous life. Compare.

2/confess and be absolved / join a wat and be absolved. Compare

3/ Celibacy, suppressing normal sexual desires and buddhist monks. Compare.

4/ material success / thai buddhism. Compare

 

And once again, I hate you for making me defend christians.

 

[bazza73]

47 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

1/ original sin and being born poor because of what you did wrong in a previous life. Compare.

2/confess and be absolved / join a wat and be absolved. Compare

3/ Celibacy, suppressing normal sexual desires and buddhist monks. Compare.

4/ material success / thai buddhism. Compare

 

And once again, I hate you for making me defend christians.

 

Once again? Can't recall ever discussing the subject with you before.

I am not a Buddhist. However, as you can't understand the difference between a philosophy and a religion I'm not going to explain the differences to you.

[bberrythailand]

8 hours ago, melvinmelvin said:

Some years ago, about 8 I think, I was in a similar situation as the OP.

 

Was not married, but had a long time GF, we sort of planned getting married and me

 

adopting her daughter (16).

 

We talked about things like inheritance, adoption, divorce, marriage, pension and the like in Thailand and in my home country. (I was working full time then.)

 

It was like hitting a wall over and over again, no way she would take what I said as the right information. She had an older sister living in Europe which she discussed with now and then and took her words as gospel.

 

Weird, she was a fairly modern woman, 42, financially independent, masters degree. But no way I could get through with how things were/worked where I come from.

 

 

 

I decided that I couldn’t be bothered to waste my time in a relationship with such lack of trust/confidence in me and discontinued the relationship.

 

Since then I have opted to stay away from Thai women and life in LoS has improved vastly.

 

 

 

It is OK adapting to the Thai way but I can’t be bothered to endeavour to adapt to lack of trust and confidence in me.

 

 

 

Yes, exactly, I also prefer to pay them by act now ! Paying full time for a GF or wide that you do just few times a month is really stupid, I will never do it again !

 

 

 

[oldhippy]

4 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

Once again? Can't recall ever discussing the subject with you before.

I am not a Buddhist. However, as you can't understand the difference between a philosophy and a religion I'm not going to explain the differences to you.

Do you think that the average buddhist - Thai or other - sees any difference?

 

[Mikeheart]

Firstly is your will in Thailand or your home country? I believe that Thai property must be covered by a Thai will.

 

Secondly just invest a little money to give assurance. Take your wife and dissenting relatives to a Thai lawyer and get the legalities explained to them

[oldhippy]

6 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

Once again? Can't recall ever discussing the subject with you before.

I am not a Buddhist. However, as you can't understand the difference between a philosophy and a religion I'm not going to explain the differences to you.

Sorry, I confused you with that other weirdo Kenk24. (post 138)

 

 

[bazza73]

2 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

Do you think that the average buddhist - Thai or other - sees any difference?

 

They won't see any difference because they are not exposed to Christian beliefs. Just as many Christians are not exposed to Buddhist philosophy.

That other weirdo? Pots and kettles spring to mind.

[Been there done that]

4 hours ago, The Dark Lord said:

Speaking for myself only here, with the superstition, religion, peer pressure and educationlevels that the majority are subject to, an emphatic yes!

From good to bad or from bad to good ?