Bar 'lady drink' etiquette?

[Damrongsak]

14 hours ago, Pilotman said:

How is your Thai?  Can you carry on a long conversation in their language? ...

I used to do fine.  But after 39 years of marriage, I get written to-do lists in English.  Last item is always "Talk to me when you are done."  It's pretty quiet around our household.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

18 hours ago, Foxy52 said:

These gals are paid bugger all mind

Over the years here i have found out that Thai girls are not big drinkers. If you buy a girl a lady drink, she is not really interested in the drink, she is only interested in the percentage she receives from it. And that is how bar bins can be padded. We had two bars in Patts some time ago, and we had a sign on the wall that said, All lady drinks are bar price plus  30 baht. If a guy wanted to buy a drink for a girl he would only pay 30 on top of the bar price of the drink. If a girl wanted  a Sambuca,or a coke, it was her drink at bar price plus 30 baht. We thought that was fair. So when a guy added up his bin at the end of the session, every drink bought for the girl was shown. Ive yet to see a bar girl drink any more than up to ten drinks, then they just throw up or pass out.

[elektrified]

11 hours ago, Johpa said:

Sorry to hear you have little ability to judge the ladies. It has been some 30 years since I frequented such establishments, and although not every bar drink purchased was worth much, countless lady drinks purchased were well worth the price, usually just for the conversation alone. But perhaps the likes of the Karen Hut bar are long gone.

 

By the way, I also declined just as often as I bought a drink for someone.  You can always just say "no thanks".

Little ability to judge the ladies? What is there to judge? If I wanted 'conversation' it would not be with a low-class sex worker in a bar. Most of these workers I've seen around C.M. are uneducated hill-tribes. How much conversation could you pay to have?

[elgenon]

There are guys who buy girls drinks and they just talk until they decide to leave. Then there are guys who zero in on a girl they like and buy her a drink or two and then BF her. you decide what you are willing to do. Be upfront about it if you have your limits. Up to you.

The girls tend to be socialists or communists don't know the correct appellation. If you buy a girl a drink she will sometimes ask for a drink for her "sister". Which means a good friend. I understand this sharing of good fortune as the other girl is expected to return the favor if she has a "live one". They have devised means of survival. I understand this and state upfront, with a smile, to the one I like what I am willing to do. No hassles then.

There are a few go-gos that require you to buy the girl 2 drinks to BF her. As the girls say, "up to you".

Don't deal w girls who are drink or BF "hustlers".It will turn out badly.

[jeab1980]

5 minutes ago, elektrified said:

Little ability to judge the ladies? What is there to judge? If I wanted 'conversation' it would not be with a low-class sex worker in a bar. Most of these workers I've seen around C.M. are uneducated hill-tribes. How much conversation could you pay to have?

Ok so they in Chiang Mai may be hill tribe girls they may not have what you deem as enough intelect or conversation skill you require, its certainly your choice. Judging by your response you dont or choise not to interect with these ladies.

But just who do you think you are calling them low class?  Just because someone works in a bar does not mean they are low class. 

[stephenterry]

16 minutes ago, elektrified said:

Little ability to judge the ladies? What is there to judge? If I wanted 'conversation' it would not be with a low-class sex worker in a bar. Most of these workers I've seen around C.M. are uneducated hill-tribes. How much conversation could you pay to have?

There are several racist comments made in this topic about the bar girls, see above for an example. A racist (see Google) is (primarily) someone who considers themself superior to the object of their rant.  With regard to hill-tribe workers, if you really want to get to know a person, walk in their shoes.

 

 

 

 

[212Roger]

12 hours ago, sanemax said:

I certainly can

Bargirls, off duty , sit back and laugh at lonely felangs

Pathetic guys who cannot form relationships in their home Country

Go to Asia and pay third world prostitutes to like them

Normal Thais view prostitutes with contempt

Stupid felangs walking around, holding hands with them

 

Very true.  You describe me.  I admit it.

[JayBird]

Although it may be fair to say many of the girls working in bar may not be able to have a highly intellectual or modern conversation with most patrons (and I could argue I could say the same about many of the farangs at the bar), it is possible that sometimes interesting conversation can be had if the topic is choosen more appropriately.  For example: Things going on in town, places to eat, where they are from, areas of interest in their location (basically tourist guide stuff).  Or you could talk about pop-culture or thai-culture stuff. 

 

They can talk a LOT, but really only about things they know (which is often different from that the touristy farang knows).

[Sparkles]

You can't choose where you are born or the fact that if you are born poor in this country you will forever be poor and have no education, barring a miracle.

 

This obviously restricts you to a life  time working in a poorly paid job.

 

With women some choose to stay on a farm,become housekeepers in hotels , maids, street sweepers or some other lowly paid job, for them its a matter of survival and sending money home.

 

Physical attributes often steer some girls from this scenario into bar work.That's reality, its a matter personal choice.

 

Pattaya, Bangkok ,Phuket bar girls ,dancers ,massage parlour workers are overwhelmingly girls born anywhere but those locations. They are not there to have conversations about Brexit , climate change ,politics,they are there to generate income 

 

If you want that direction of conversation join an expat group  

[brewsterbudgen]

Would anyone in their home Country , go to a prostitute bar, pay a girl to sit with them , and then say "Shes really nice, I think that she likes me"
    She likes me, so I will pay for her and her children and we will all live happily ever after

Duh. That's why they come to Thailand. Western prostitutes are rarely girlfriend or spouse material.

[idman]

Christ almighty this thread sure had legs. Time to put it to bed instead of further blah, blah, blah.

Sent from my SM-T805 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[CharlieH]

Post removed.

 

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.
 

[Stevemercer]

Out here in the provinces, it usual to buy a bottle of beer (100 Baht at bar/karaoke prices) and the girl(s) will drink it with you. I never buy them a separate drink. If you go late at night some of the girls might already be pissed and you can take advantage of that.

 

At the end of the evening you pay your beer tab and give a separate tip to the girls. Maybe 100 Baht if you have just been drinking with her: 200 Baht if you have also been dancing with her and mutual flirting; and maybe 300 Baht if you really like the girl, things have got hot and heavy, and maybe you wouldn't mind spending more time with her. 

[elektrified]

1 hour ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Duh. That's why they come to Thailand. Western prostitutes are rarely girlfriend or spouse material.

And prostitutes in Thailand are???

[VocalNeal]

Worth every penny?

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, sanemax said:

 

   I was referring to when you go out to a bar WITH someone . not too when you go to a bar on your own and pay someone to have a drink with you

    I would be quite happy to take a lady out for a meal/drink , but I would feel uncomfortable if the lady was on the restaurant menu 

     I have no desire to make friends with any bargirls in CM , as I live among them and see and know what they are really like, when they are not working

   I have no desire to have any prostitutes as friends

Its embarrassing to have prostitutes as so called friends

You lower yourself to the "desperate" category

 

 

 

I don't understand why you are posting on this thread when it is about when to buy lady drinks and not about disapproval of the nite scene.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

Ok so they in Chiang Mai may be hill tribe girls they may not have what you deem as enough intelect or conversation skill you require, its certainly your choice. Judging by your response you dont or choise not to interect with these ladies.

But just who do you think you are calling them low class?  Just because someone works in a bar does not mean they are low class. 

Well said. Having met both loso and hiso women, I'll take a loso anytime, over a stuck up snob that thinks the sun shines ....................................

[Paul Catton]

If in a bar that has "hostesses" and you are on your lonesome, there would be certain scenarios that may have come into play for attendance on the bar stool.

 

Having a couple beers whilst wife is shopping, or either politely decline the company (as could be hazardous to some people's wellbeing) enjoy a little bit of fragmented chit chat after revelation that you are off-limits but buy a drink or two.

 

7/11 sells beer, eye candy is available from the pavement/sidewalk, some bars even the big screen T.V.'s viewable without  having to cross the threshold.

 

The bars have to make money to survive (or even post profit), the "hostesses" equally need income to survive on top a minimal retaining stipend,  hence we are all "hansum" regardless of actuality.

 

Perhaps the phrasing of the topic is errant.

 

Edited July 28, 2017 by Paul Catton
Grammar

[MaeJoMTB]

If you don't want to use her services, don't buy her a drink ....... that's pretty much the way it works.

[MaeJoMTB]

17 hours ago, sanemax said:

I certainly can

Bargirls, off duty , sit back and laugh at lonely felangs

Pathetic guys who cannot form relationships in their home Country

Go to Asia and pay third world prostitutes to like them

Normal Thais view prostitutes with contempt

Stupid felangs walking around, holding hands with them

 

 

I don't think many of us aged 60+ are capable of forming 'relationships' with girls under 30 in our home countries.

On the hand .... it's entirely possible that I'm the only 60 year old that can't pull a 20 year old in the UK?

 

PS.

In the UK I paid an English schoolteacher to 'like me' for 30 years (It didn't end well).

In Thailand I've paid a farm girl to 'like me' for 8 years (so far, so good).

Can't see much difference myself. (apart from the farm girl being half my age and a lot less expensive)

 

PPS.

Do most of my drinking on the table outside 7-11 and mom/pop stores these days. Full Moon Dark wine coolers 7.5% for 30bht a bottle (glass and ice provided at no extra charge) ....... the only thing cheaper (and drinkable) is a bottle of 'Red Cock' Vodka for 152bht (Tesco Lotus). But necking a bottle of Vodka while sitting on the kerb is a little 'low class' .... guess you guys are probably too posh for that.

 

Edited July 28, 2017 by MaeJoMTB
typo

[Paul Catton]

17 hours ago, sanemax said:

I certainly can

Bargirls, off duty , sit back and laugh at lonely felangs

Pathetic guys who cannot form relationships in their home Country

Go to Asia and pay third world prostitutes to like them

Normal Thais view prostitutes with contempt

Stupid felangs walking around, holding hands with them

 

How does holding hands with your wife, discerned from your opinon based upon a perhaps a limited view equate to "Stupid Farang".

Perhaps revisit the "Normal" Thais you frequently don't associate with.

[brianj1964]

when i first started coming to thailand in the late 90,s girls would chat to you and wait until you offered, these days you get strong armed into buying a drink as soon as your ass hits the seat. and if i do buy 1 i always make sure its a beer the same price as mine and not that huge bottle of diluting orange they keep in the freezer, 120 baht for a mouthful, no thanks

[brewsterbudgen]

And prostitutes in Thailand are???

You never heard of someone marrying a girl they met in a bar in Thailand??

[rogeroc]

2 hours ago, elektrified said:

And prostitutes in Thailand are???

Judging by all the stories you hear in CM, what you see and observe and multiple threads on TV it would appear so. So when you dish out your cheap  insults about bargirls maybe consider that a lot of Posters on here have formed serious relationships with them.  Perhaps also consder that you may well have had a far more privileged life than the girls that have chosen to work in the bar (for whatever reason)

[rogeroc]

11 minutes ago, brianj1964 said:

when i first started coming to thailand in the late 90,s girls would chat to you and wait until you offered, these days you get strong armed into buying a drink as soon as your ass hits the seat. and if i do buy 1 i always make sure its a beer the same price as mine and not that huge bottle of diluting orange they keep in the freezer, 120 baht for a mouthful, no thanks

 

I agree with that and i didn't start coming until 2006, more often than not the girl would chat with you until you finished your first beer. Judging by some on this thread though i wonder if is abuse by Western guys hat has led to the change as much as impatience by the girls. Seems like there are a lot of guys out there who would have taken advantage of the girls good approach. Too easy to just blame the greedy bargirl and not the tight fisted Westerner.

[HooHaa]

On 7/27/2017 at 3:19 PM, eddysmit said:

That's one of the best summing ups I have read, and a good one.

its a literary wank, albeit a good one, but little to do with the topic at hand.

[HooHaa]

12 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Over the years here i have found out that Thai girls are not big drinkers. If you buy a girl a lady drink, she is not really interested in the drink, she is only interested in the percentage she receives from it. And that is how bar bins can be padded. We had two bars in Patts some time ago, and we had a sign on the wall that said, All lady drinks are bar price plus  30 baht. If a guy wanted to buy a drink for a girl he would only pay 30 on top of the bar price of the drink. If a girl wanted  a Sambuca,or a coke, it was her drink at bar price plus 30 baht. We thought that was fair. So when a guy added up his bin at the end of the session, every drink bought for the girl was shown. Ive yet to see a bar girl drink any more than up to ten drinks, then they just throw up or pass out.

you are being optimistic. try dipping a straw in that 3rd tequila shot. its likely water.

[Paul Catton]

23 minutes ago, rogeroc said:

Judging by all the stories you hear in CM, what you see and observe and multiple threads on TV it would appear so. So when you dish out your cheap  insults about bargirls maybe consider that a lot of Posters on here have formed serious relationships with them.  Perhaps also consder that you may well have had a far more privileged life than the girls that have chosen to work in the bar (for whatever reason)

Even going almost back three decades ago, the adage was you can you long term  "take a girl from the bar, but not the girl from the bar"

I am peronally unable to add any reinforcement and/or disclaimer so suggest "caveat emptor"

Best wishes and prosperity to all.within topic. 

 

 

 

mlm

[HooHaa]

10 minutes ago, Paul Catton said:

Even going almost back three decades ago, the adage was you can you long term  "take a girl from the bar, but not the girl from the bar"

I am peronally unable to add any reinforcement and/or disclaimer so suggest "caveat emptor"

Best wishes and prosperity to all.within topic. 

 

 

 

mlm

whose addage was that? george w bush?

 

dont you mean take a girl from the bar, but you cant take the bar from the girl?

 

[XGM]

This kind of bars can choose between two different approaches: catch as many suckers as possible (who are not likely to come back), and rely on repeat business.

 

In busy, touristic areas, many places go for the first approach. Hard sell, aggressive asking for drinks, trying to get as much as possible from any customer who steps into the place. Buy drink to my friend too! and to the manager, why not? and to the bartender. He is thirsty too. The customer says no? ask again. and again. and again. Premise is, location is good enough for a constant supply of suckers. Who cares if they won't come back. Or maybe they won't come back anyway (being on a 2 week vacation) so why bother.

 

Second approach probably brings less cash to the bar per visit. But customers are more likely to return. A successful bargirl in such a place will walk on the fine line of asking for drinks without pissing off the customer.

 

In Chiang Mai with its quiet bar scene, I think bars will be better off taking the second approach. High turnover of girls and general disbelief in the ability to retain customers, probably push them back to the first approach though.