Trust.

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, Gruff said:

OP,  please why are you encouraging all of the perfect life / perfect wife Posters? I believe trust is overated, if you trust too much you set yourself up to be brought down at some stage. What i am reading on this thread is not what i hear in real life stories in Thailand.

My my how insecure. You will not trust anyone because you simply cannot believe anyone could love you? I guess you may be right.

[MaeJoMTB]

8 minutes ago, smotherb said:

My my how insecure. You will not trust anyone because you simply cannot believe anyone could love you? I guess you may be right.

Not anyone, but any woman. Big difference.

Some of us can't even trust our mothers, sisters or daughters, let alone random lovers.

 

When I was getting divorced, I and my (former) 20 year old son were the last ones to know what was being planned. My (ex) son said to me, "Dad, I've just realized every woman I ever loved has lied and betrayed me". That included his grandmother, mother, sister and two aunts. He was more emotionally damaged by the event than I was.

Edited November 7, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Fixed it for you, and I still disagree.

Well, thank you; it is true that not all women are cheats. However, I was being specific since Thai women were who we were discussing. Nevertheless, I can see how you would disagree if every woman you ever had cheated on you. Must be a terrible thing to bear.

[MaeJoMTB]

31 minutes ago, smotherb said:

ignore

Edited November 7, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

6 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Not anyone, but any woman. Big difference.

Some of us can't even trust our mothers, sisters or daughters, let alone random lovers.

 

When I was getting divorced, I and my (former) 20 year old son were the last ones to know what was being planned. My son said to me, "Dad, I've just realized every woman I ever loved has lied and betrayed me". That included his grandmother, mother, sister and two aunts. He was more emotionally damaged by the event than I was.

You do seem to have a problem staying on subject. We were discussing women. However, it appears you have taught your son to expect your poor experiences with women. You say even your mother treated you wrong; well you must be a real fine specimen.

[MaeJoMTB]

25 minutes ago, smotherb said:

ignore

 

Edited November 7, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

4 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Not really, I learned, made changes to my expectations, and moved on with my life.

It doesn't look to me as if you've moved on; you appear to still be carrying a hate-filled grudge. Let it go. Be realistic; if every woman does you wrong, you may have something to do with it.

[smotherb]

2 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Subject was Trust (specifically men trusting women), I was entirely on topic, despite  your small comprehension error. My mother (also a woman) was never mentioned.

Maybe you should learn to accept some blame; you said, " Some of us can't even trust our mothers, sisters or daughters, let alone random lovers. "

[MaeJoMTB]

20 minutes ago, smotherb said:

ignore

Edited November 7, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My former (all British) Mil, former wife,  and former daughter hardly counts as 'every woman'.

 

It seems once again you have strayed. You were the one to claim you cannot trust women. Did you mean just the women you know?

[smotherb]

4 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My former (all British) Mil, former wife,  and former daughter hardly counts as 'every woman'.

My current (Thai) wife and Thai daughter, have never 'done me wrong' although I have never been given the opportunity to betray me in any significant way. (my wife does occasionally steal from my wallet, but easily fixed, I just make sure I don't have more than 500bht within).

Hate and wariness are not the same thing. Sorry you have poor English comprehension skills, again not my fault.

 

My English comprehension skills? Once again you seem to attribute your shortcomings to others--perhaps one reason for your mistrust of women. I said, " . . . you appear to still be carrying a hate-filled grudge . . . " How does that in any way connote that I see hate and wariness as the same thing?

Let's see, wife never done you wrong, but you can't let her know where you keep more than B500? Wariness or fear? Fear or mistrust? Her fault or your fault?

[ThaiWai]

I totally trusted her until...

I wish I had taken video of this..I handed her a new phone as a gift and said you can talk to the phone and ask for what you want.  Just put the phone near your mouth and say "OK Google...show me (fill in the blank)".  She took the phone with confidence, put it up to her face and said "OK GOOGLE...SHOW ME BIG BLACK COCK".   I fell off the bed in tears.  True story.  She's a character this one is.

[ThaiWai]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

That is when you got a gf that does not work.. if you got a financial independent gf things are different. Then at least you know they are with you because they want to be with you. 

True.  After a while I gave her everything she wanted.  A motorbike and car and a business.  She's well on her feet now and could leave anytime she wanted, be financially stable and she could get a man anytime she wants.  I don't want a hostage in my house.  It builds resentment eventually which leads to other issues.  

[473geo]

For years I was far from perfect husband material, I had long term relationships, I doubt any one of my girlfriends trusted me, and rightly so. I just wasn't ready to truly put anybody else before my own partying.

Now my lifestyle is changed, for the better, no drinking to excess, a much changed person.

I don't miss my previous lifestyle, or condemn any person for having a similar party style, I enjoyed the experiences it brought, and also to a point the lack of commitment required in relationships .

I do however accept full responsibility for my lack of commitment resulting in relationships that never went the distance.

 

Sure I trust my wife, I give her no reason not to trust me . Could she attract a younger man? Undoubtedly! She carries both charm and looks.

 

Could she find a more caring person? who builds her confidence? treats her as an equal? understands her aims and goals? encourages and supports her decision making? Is relaxed, does not get angry, but calmly discusses when appropriate? A person who fully understands and appreciates family connections and obligation,  makes the effort to be accepted as part of her family and local community? A person who loves and cares for our children as she does? Who is comfortable for her to handle finances?.......

Well  who knows!!! I guess she might win the lottery one day too.

 

Could I find a person to match all her attributes - I doubt it - Today Life is good is all I need to know.......

[Gruff]

1 hour ago, smotherb said:

My my how insecure. You will not trust anyone because you simply cannot believe anyone could love you? I guess you may be right.

 Really, needing to tell strangers how you have got everything right in life in nearly every other Post sounds like insecurity to me. Those who are genuinely  content and happy don't need to Post about it.

[Gruff]

1 hour ago, robblok said:

That is when you got a gf that does not work.. if you got a financial independent gf things are different. Then at least you know they are with you because they want to be with you. 

 

That may well be wishful thinking. Most Western women are financially independent but 50% of Western divorces fail. You can easily be traded in for a new model, especially if you are always expecting them to pay their own way. A gf may be working and independent but does she really want to be working if other opportunities arise?

[473geo]

8 minutes ago, Gruff said:

 Really, needing to tell strangers how you have got everything right in life in nearly every other Post sounds like insecurity to me. Those who are genuinely  content and happy don't need to Post about it.

Unless they get the urge to compensate for the hate and vitriol espoused by the failures who cannot move on - then it is more confidence in their own relationship as evidence of success with a Thai woman

[Dmaxdan]

OP,  please why are you encouraging all of the perfect life / perfect wife Posters? I believe trust is overated, if you trust too much you set yourself up to be brought down at some stage. What i am reading on this thread is not what i hear in real life stories in Thailand.

Trust is overrated? It is the cornerstone of every single successful relationship on the planet.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[bazza73]

I don't consider Thai women to be less trustworthy than any other nationality. There are good and bad apples in every ethnic barrel.

However, it's not a bad thread for the disappointed ones to vent their spleen.

[GreasyFingers]

A question to all the posters that do not trust their Thai (or other) woman from cheating.

Have you ever cheated on your wife/lover?

If yes, I understand your anxiety.

[MaeJoMTB]

28 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

Trust is overrated? It is the cornerstone of every single successful relationship on the planet.

8 years married  to a Thai woman I don't trust, we have children and a house together.

In what way would you say our relationship was not 'successful'?

[robblok]

37 minutes ago, Gruff said:

 

That may well be wishful thinking. Most Western women are financially independent but 50% of Western divorces fail. You can easily be traded in for a new model, especially if you are always expecting them to pay their own way. A gf may be working and independent but does she really want to be working if other opportunities arise?

 

Your point about marriages failing is well made, but at least you can trust them to be with you because they want you. The moment that is not the case they can change just like in any relation. It just improves the odds I never said it was perfect.

[MaeJoMTB]

23 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

A question to all the posters that do not trust their Thai (or other) woman from cheating.

Have you ever cheated on your wife/lover?

If yes, I understand your anxiety.

'Cheating' a bit of an old fashioned concept.

I have my lovers, my wife has her lovers.

I find monogamy is a bit dull, so does she.

 

My 'trust' problems are more with her stealing and taking drugs.

The stealing I can manage, by never leaving much money around, and the bank owning most of the house.

Edited November 7, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[xylophone]

3 hours ago, timendres said:

If you love someone, trust them. If they break that trust, you will be forced to assess your ability to accept it.

Now that is the truest thing I've seen in just about any thread on relationships. Well said that man.

[Tedly]

My Thai wife is 46, 10 years younger than me and the most honest and trust worthy woman I ever met. She told right from the beginning that she doesn't want my money, only my heart. And has been proving it ever since, she will sometimes borrow from me and always pays me back unless I tell her not to worry about all of it. She takes good care of me and we have mutual respect and love for each other. I'd never go for another western woman, she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

[dotpoom]

If I didn't trust her I certainly wouldn't go blabbing about it on here.

[1FinickyOne]

6 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Well, I had fun reading this. In a grand scheme of things I would even agree with everything, unfortunately we were born as humans and certain things do matter. 25 minutes of friction means betrayal. If you are into cucking then it doesn't matter.

 

You can't humanly rationalize it's 25 minutes of this and 15 minutes of that. Otherwise it would be it 2 minutes of murder and 5 minutes of beatings....no biggie.

 

Unless she's letting you watch, I'd dump her.

Yo - C-FAP 

 

I was made cuckold in USA and it ended up being one of the better things that ever happened to me. Though it wasn't much fun at the time... 

 

Connda was being quite honest. Jealousy does not have to be a human trait... I think we are taught that it is a horrible thing to be cucked but whether or not it is ingrained, I don't know. In your example of  murder, the problem is that someone gets hurt - physically and irrevocably. In sex, 2 people are supposed to be pleasured. [sure, for this forum I will add or compensated].

 

I had a very good friend in USA - he had a gorgeous GF and when she would drink, it would become blind drunk and she could sleep with anyone. His response was that she isn't going to get used up - though I am sure he had emotional worries for her well being. 

 

I came of age in a different era from you. It was not unusual for some of my friends to offer me their wives/GFs when I was passing through. No pain. Just pleasure. 

 

Connda's language and description might have been a little bit coarse - but as humans, I am not sure that we are born that way and different cultures have different sets of values... 

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

No, that is an incorrect quote.  However, I did say " . . . shortcomings . . "

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, Gruff said:

 Really, needing to tell strangers how you have got everything right in life in nearly every other Post sounds like insecurity to me. Those who are genuinely  content and happy don't need to Post about it.

How would you know what a person who got everything right would do?

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, Dmaxdan said:

Trust is overrated? It is the cornerstone of every single successful relationship on the planet.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

I would say more so that love and acceptance are more the cornerstone. 

 

Trust is potentially momentary and often dependent on chance. Maybe someone can trust their wife today and rightfully so, but what if tomorrow she meets someone else? I am not one who believes that there is only one person on earth who is a perfect match for every other...