NOWHERE Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Read the whole 14 pages. Don't have an opinion on OPs situation but will answer his request. I have two Aussie daughters and am married to a Thai, though only 10 years difference in age between us. I was never given an ultimatum about her but it was obvious my youngest did not approve. In the beginning there was friction but I didn't make a big deal about it. Over time my daughter has decided that my happiness was more important than her own views. I'm glad I did not push the issue about her dislike, otherwise my relationship with my daughter may now be not as good as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf81 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 (edited) On 12/14/2017 at 8:38 AM, JLCrab said: An 'acceptable' girlfriend is no more than 5 years younger than himself or herself -- in many cases herein the new Thai GF would be 5 years younger than the daughter. I wonder, would she find it herself acceptable if she was told she could not date a man with more than 5 year difference with her own age? Or what if she's meet a perfect man, but the age difference would be 5 years and 1 day. Would that be a dealbreaker? Edited December 16, 2017 by wolf81 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommysboy Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 There's obviously more to it than that! Perhaps the ex has been spreading her poison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 There's obviously more to it than that! Perhaps the ex has been spreading her poison.No, the ex hasn’t spread any poison. See post #10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommysboy Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 5 minutes ago, Gregster said: No, the ex hasn’t spread any poison. See post #10 I wouldn't want to take anything at face value or rely word for word on what has been quoted. There are so many powerful dynamics in a break up that can impact on all members of the family, it's like a rack of pool balls being broken at high speed. Perhaps the break up has left the daughter feeling rejected and having a younger partner feels like the final insult. Of course, there's no logic to it, but emotions are powerful in these situations. Whatever, unfortunately he has to sit tight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 8 hours ago, MrPatrickThai said: Too many assumptions. I've seen too many 8 hours ago, MrPatrickThai said: Did you get, or are you expecting any inheritance? foreign dad's abandon their own children to lose everything to a Thai woman half their age. I don't know if you would be fine with your father giving all he worked hard for to a Thai woman? I certainly wouldn't be happy. But it is HIS to do as he wishes with, whether it goes to a Thai woman or a farang woman. It is HIS choice and nobody elses. He could nleave it to thye local cat or dog charity or anywhere HE wants to. He is the one who earned it by his own efforts and there is nothing that says he must leave it to his children if he doesn't want to. 8 hours ago, MrPatrickThai said: Did you get, or are you expecting any inheritance? I certainly didn't, nor was I expecting one from either of my parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George FmplesdaCosteedback Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I hope he cuts her out of the will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 When she needs help remember her actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bundooman Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 12/15/2017 at 7:24 AM, canuckamuck said: I think the real issue is not the 5 years thing, No one cares in the west if a man is with a woman 5 years younger, that is nearly the standard age difference IMO. I think what it really is, is the stigma of the rent-a-wife from Asia scenario. Yours is a very significant thought provoking response. Thailand's 'Girlie Bar' reputation has leaked out across the western world over the last decade. I can understand that particular thinking process with all the bad press that has been published regarding Thailand's seedier side, while knowing that, after 13 years of living here in Thailand, (plus many years experience of being around Asia before that , including Thailand), that most of the hundreds of Thai women, young and old, are some of the most pleasant, courteous, likeable and friendliest people I have ever met in my life. None of these women would deserve the kind of vitriolic and sneering, stereotype labels stamped upon them here by members of this forum. And yes, I have met hundreds of Thai women, old, young, beautiful or not so beautiful - who cares; they are people I have met and come to know over my 12 years while working as a teacher at the same school. A number of them are also parents that I have come into contact with and I still have to say that they also are delightful people to know. Furthermore, I too have an adult western daughter, (my youngest of two), from whom I am estranged, almost 9 years now. I do not know the reason why, but it coincided with my separation with her Mother-in-law, with whom she was close, and my then, new Thai girlfriend. My youngest daughter and I were very close up until that point). I assume that the new woman in my life was the reason, although my ex-wife and I are still close friends. My eldest daughter and I remain very close also and she has no problem whatsoever with my new family, which includes my 10 year old daughter. I cannot live my life by someone else's standards. Mine are set and I have no wish to change them. I believe that there are enough people in my life that either like or love me for what I am. That includes my present Thai family, my English family, all my friends and acquaintances around the world. One day, things may change. I don't know. I still love my youngest daughter very much. But the next move is in her court. My first two years were full of my attempts to understand her stance of silence with no response. I have now moved on - my life is too short to worry about things I have no control over. Sad though it is. Good luck to the OP. I hope things change for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman20 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 12/14/2017 at 2:33 PM, Gregster said: Many thanks. Will pass on. He divorced his (Western) wife after he caught her cheating. Hence his aversion now towards Western women. His daughter is fully aware her mother cheated and she is also aware her Dad wants a GF from a different culture. It made no difference, the daughter is not backing down on her position. the daughter sounds like a controlling little brat, hes better off with out her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 Yes, I agree. This is ALL about the Asian rent-a-wife stigma. Many thanks for sharing your experiences Bundooman. Indeed, very sad. Best of luck for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 28 minutes ago, Gregster said: Yes, I agree. This is ALL about the Asian rent-a-wife stigma. Many thanks for sharing your experiences Bundooman. Indeed, very sad. Best of luck for the future. Interesting - asked for experienced opinions and have received many many valid viewpoints.....Then you summarily dismiss them defending the daughter in every instance.... Now you say it all boils down to Asian rent-a-wife syndrome (she's not a racist) - again discarding the many valid viewpoints describing accurately just what this daughter really is...... Seems to be that the entire thread boils down to valid opinions versus your whole hearted support of the daughter's actions (in which she's entirely wrong with her emotional hammer - threats & blackmail)..... With friends like you the Dad really doesn't need any enemies....The situation is conflicted enough....How can you be very helpful to "him" if you are always defending her.... Her actions as an adult are indefensible......Hopefully she grows up & quits poisoning the entire environment of his past with her "crusade"......She's injuring the entire family while persecuting her own good father...... The damage he's done by being happy in his own life is negligible.....The damage she's doing to him and the family is horrific.....And she knows it = every calculated step of the way.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 This topic was raised to seek feedback from others who have been in this situation - as clearly requested in post # 1: Many Dads have duly responded and such responses have been acknowledged as “sincerely appreciated”. Said responses have been invaluable to the guy as he struggles to make sense of all this. Attacking the daughter is not wanted in this thread as it serves no purpose in assisting her Dad at this time. Once again...he only just wants to know how other Dads, who have been in this situation, have dealt with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 29 minutes ago, Gregster said: The topic was raised to seek feedback from others who have been in this situation - as clearly requested in post # 1: Many Dads have duly responded and such responses have been acknowledged as appreciated. They are invaluable to the guy as he struggles to make sense of all this. Attacking the daughter is not wanted in this thread as it serves no purpose in assisting her Dad at this time. Once again...he only just wants to know how other Dads, who have been in this situation, have dealt with it. Yes - I was one of those Dads that offered up.... But look what she is doing = she's poisoned his entire past life & people against him while making her demands & threats.... She's essentially pushing him straight into his new life where he is happy & ACCEPTED..... She is attempting to implement total obeyance from him by manipulating everybody from his past (and life) - to her terms.... She's removed every shred of possibilities toward happiness for him..... Seems she got a lot of "things" from her Dad - seems like character, grace, & a few life lessons were missing.....Maybe she's more like the mother....She's got some problems & it's time for her to grow up.....Acceptance of her Dad & his life & choices would be a good start.... Why should he want to be around her.....She'll never be placated - ever - the damage is done.... Personally, I wouldn't want to be subjected to somebody like that - let alone spend my life orbiting around what they dictate....She's making him miserable in both directions...... I feel for him......Hope he lives a long & happy life - seems he's found the happy part = away from them - says a lot all by itself..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 Yes - I was one of those Dads that offered up.... But look what she is doing = she's poisoned his entire past life & people against him while making her demands & threats.... She's essentially pushing him straight into his new life where he is happy & ACCEPTED..... She is attempting to implement total obeyance from him by manipulating everybody from his past (and life) - to her terms.... She's removed every shred of possibilities toward happiness for him..... Seems she got a lot of "things" from her Dad - seems like character, grace, & a few life lessons were missing.....Maybe she's more like the mother....She's got some problems & it's time for her to grow up.....Acceptance of her Dad & his life & choices would be a good start.... Why should he want to be around her.....She'll never be placated - ever - the damage is done.... Personally, I wouldn't want to be subjected to somebody like that - let alone spend my life orbiting around what they dictate....She's making him miserable in both directions...... I feel for him......Hope he lives a long & happy life - seems he's found the happy part = away from them - says a lot all by itself..... It’s not just the daughter that’s created his grief!!!....it’s also his daughter’s husband and the husband’s entire family- as previously posted: So once again....could you PLEASE respect his wishes and stop attacking the daughter in this thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 5 minutes ago, Gregster said: It’s not just the daughter that’s created his grief!!!....it’s also his daughter’s husband’s entire family- as previously posted: So once again....could you PLEASE his wishes and stop attacking the daughter in this thread! And just why would he want to leave the happiness he has found to be around this poisonous lot? In no small part to her influence - stance.... Her actions/reactions are the CAUSE of this thread & therefore a valid point of discussion....You consistently overlook that.....Evidently she walks on water.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I lived for several years in Bible-belt Oklahoma City. Some people have their beliefs and convictions and you are not going to be the one to change them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 And just why would he want to leave the happiness he has found to be around this poisonous lot? “Poisonous lot”. Yes...much more appropriate. Thank you for understanding. Actually, the poisonous lot has many more “members” than those mentioned above. This may better explain why Dad considers it inappropriate that the “daughter only” be attacked ....and why he prefers feedback/suggestions not to focus on just the daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 32 minutes ago, Gregster said: “Poisonous lot”. Yes...much more appropriate. Thank you for understanding. Actually, the poisonous lot has many more “members” than those mentioned above. This may better explain why Dad considers it inappropriate that the “daughter only” be attacked ....and why he prefers feedback/suggestions not to focus on just the daughter. They've effectively undermined, and erroded all the good things the Dad has accomplished ..... They've really left him "marooned" & back stabbed him with nothing worth coming back to..... When I decided to move here a few didn't understand....The men did but their wives didn't too much ....I've lost track of a few (as we do in life anyway), but the ones that have kept in touch turned out to be the true friends....They're welcome at our house & we are at theirs.... I've made a few more good friends here (didn't/don't/haven't done the bar scene thing) so the friend content & quality has equaled out and life is good and full.... My one daughter that has done well in life keeps in touch as I do with her.... My intelligent but manipulative/user/conniving daughter hasn't; and as I explained before - I don't miss the ear aches & headaches that she often caused....Family or not - life is better without her... The two sisters are so different they live close but don't mix.... One's a joy - the other is poisoness.... I stay positive - and that includes the people I choose to have in my life..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baerboxer Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Shame all those Uni degrees and she till turned out a racist! Seems like a money grabbing selfish one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baerboxer Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, JLCrab said: The daughter might already have more money than the father. Which sadly, often doesn't mean the more wealthy is less greedy or jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XBroker Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 7 minutes ago, JLCrab said: The daughter might already have more money than the father. Yes, she probably has these standards based on moral and spiritual reasons... lolz We all know women aren't motivated by their hypergamey, selfishness and greed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 It means nothing other than -- in this case -- inheritance might not work as leverage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XBroker Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) 8 minutes ago, JLCrab said: It means nothing other than -- in this case -- inheritance might not work as leverage. Who's looking for leverage? Leverage is used when trying to fix or move something. She made her move. The assumption here is I'd be looking back, if this were me? naw dog. You don't know fee-males if you think this is based in any way on morality or spirituality. Edited December 17, 2017 by XBroker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 They've effectively undermined, and erroded all the good things the Dad has accomplished ..... They've really left him "marooned" & back stabbed him with nothing worth coming back to..... When I decided to move here a few didn't understand....The men did but their wives didn't too much ....I've lost track of a few (as we do in life anyway), but the ones that have kept in touch turned out to be the true friends....They're welcome at our house & we are at theirs.... I've made a few more good friends here (didn't/don't/haven't done the bar scene thing) so the friend content & quality has equaled out and life is good and full.... My one daughter that has done well in life keeps in touch as I do with her.... My intelligent but manipulative/user/conniving daughter hasn't; and as I explained before - I don't miss the ear aches & headaches that she often caused....Family or not - life is better without her... The two sisters are so different they live close but don't mix.... One's a joy - the other is poisoness.... I stay positive - and that includes the people I choose to have in my life.....We like it. Thanks for sharing mate. Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) On 12/14/2017 at 2:38 PM, JLCrab said: An 'acceptable' girlfriend is no more than 5 years younger than himself or herself -- in many cases herein the new Thai GF would be 5 years younger than the daughter. oop's ....how did he manage to raise a jealous racist bimbo and not see this coming ? my advice to him is to give his selfish daughter a new thai little brother ,haha haha haha Edited December 17, 2017 by mikiea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeab1980 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Daughter is grown up seems so tell Her to take a hike. Probably worried about her inheritance as she perceives it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 On 12/14/2017 at 2:11 PM, billd766 said: It has never happened to me but if I were in his position I would try to explain to my daughter that she has her own life to live as I have mine. In his case he has supported his daughter all her life so far and now it is his turn to make his own life for himself. I choose what is acceptable to me. You don't mention if his wife had died or they had divorced as the reason why he has a Thai GF but IMHO if he is happy with his Thai GF then stick with her. It is your friends grandchildren who will suffer the most from loss of contact and the problem is completely in his daughters court. Again IMHO she has no right to interfere in her fathers life especially as it involved the children and their grandfather. She sounds a bit spoilt and always wants HER own way. I think what you say is right; however, I think it goes deeper than that. His daughter seems like a typical white woman witch--afraid of younger women, especially younger Asian women; ageism and racism personified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mentalcolonization Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I have a question? Why does the farang not date younger girls back home??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) 14 hours ago, XBroker said: <snip> You don't know fee-males if <snip2> Thanks. I don't even try. Edited December 17, 2017 by JLCrab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts