ALFA

Always Long Free & Available

AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW

Brutal Money Waster, Big Money Works, Bought My Wife, Beautiful Mechanical Wonder

BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

Cheap Hardly Efficient Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE

Dirty Old Gas Eater

Drips Oil Drops Gas Everywhere

FIAT

Failure In Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All The Time

FORD

First On Rust and Deterioration

Fix Or Repair Daily,Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

General Maintanence

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

NISSAN

Need I Say Suck Another Nut?

PONTIAC

Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac

RENAULT

Real Engineering Nutcase And Usually Lacks Taste

SAAB

Swedish Automobiles Always Break Down

TOYOTA

Too Often Yanks Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

Virtually Worthless

My old man always used to say BMW was black mans wheels.. Of course in inner cities it was more a case of Break My Windows.

should be moved but why not have some frivolity

LOTUS - Loads Of Trouble, Usually Serious.