Expats who want to leave, if they could

[Pilotman]

Now here is a question; to all you  expats, in all seriousness, how many of you would leave  Thailand if you could, or regret ever coming here in the first place?  For myself, I'm ambivalent at best  and have yet to settle to the idea of LOS as my 'final destination' in life. Maybe that will come, but, increasingly,  I'm not at all sure that it will.  The reasons are many and various, but I guess in the round, the serenity of retirement is missing somehow.   Too many hassles impinge on my life. 

[pgrahmm]

Happy here....

We travel + also RV around my birth country 2-3 months a year....

 

Always good to come back....

[thedemon]

All hassles in Thailand can be eliminated with money. So you're just not doing it right.

[impulse]

1 hour ago, thedemon said:

All hassles in Thailand can be eliminated with money. So you're just not doing it right.

 

That's an appealing thought, right up until there's something that can't be solved in Thailand with the funds available.  Sure, the base needs and impulses can be met quite handily with enough cash.  But not all needs, and cash doesn't always last as long as retirement.

 

What about missing family left behind, or the realization that it is tough to build a functional support network while surrounded mostly by fellow expats feeding their base desires for sex and booze, and locals whose economic reality has them looking at us like cash cows?

 

And there's no safety net for many guys who, through poor planning, bad luck, or scheming wives, lose their money.  At least back home, there's always a way to bring in a few bucks without having to keep your head down so you're not grassed up for WP violations, or for pursuing forbidden occupations.

 

I'm in the process of repatriating after working for around 7 years in Thailand.  I may be back.  But in the meantime, I'm going to see how it is back home, re-introduce myself to family I haven't seen in many years, work a few more years while I can, and then decide where to retire. 

 

I count my Thailand adventure as a positive in my life.  But I miss a lot of things back home that aren't available in Thailand at any price.  Maybe I won't like it back in Texas.  But I liked it there fine before I moved to Asia for the paycheck.

[Maradona 10]

I have always believed that all of us given the choice would rather have a great life back in one's own land, if money was no object and had family etc.

 

What person in their own country who had everything a man needed and was happy with his lot woke up one morning and thought 'I think I'll move to Thailand'?

[Jingthing]

I resemble that remark but I'm getting to the place where I'm almost fully resigned to the fact that it's extremely unlikely I'll ever have a better setup than I have now in Thailand either back in the USA (too expensive, reverse culture shock) or in a Latin American alternative (I suck at foreign languages). Actually, likely not even close to as good.

 

Maybe that can change on a dime (like some crap happening here forcing me out and that's always possible, expats are generally NOT secure here).

 

So Thailand, deeply flawed as it is, may indeed be the best of all possible worlds for me.

 

Yeah if I won a big lottery, ba-bye.

Edited July 17, 2018 by Jingthing

[FritsSikkink]

24 minutes ago, Maradona 10 said:

I have always believed that all of us given the choice would rather have a great life back in one's own land, if money was no object and had family etc.

 

What person in their own country who had everything a man needed and was happy with his lot woke up one morning and thought 'I think I'll move to Thailand'?

You believed wrong then.

[Jingthing]

I do often joke to people that I'm STUCK here.

But it's not so much really a joke.

My Grandpa used to say the old cliche -- you've made your bed, now lie in it.

Well my bed is in Thailand.

He also said Good luck because you're gonna need it.

Rude bugger he was. 

I'm sure lots of expats especially retired ones are in similar Thai boats, but not all of them will actually admit it (or self aware enough to realize it). 

Edited July 17, 2018 by Jingthing

[Maradona 10]

4 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You believed wrong then.

Haha. That actually took a bit longer than expected. Nobody up's sticks gives up everything at home if they are happy with everything and absconds to Thailand. End of chat.

[NCC1701A]

Love Thailand. Dirt cheap here. Never going back to USA.  And I had everything you could ask for there. Sold it all.

 

I live 100 meters from the beach in a rented three bedroom compound in a Thai neighborhood.

 

I don't live around Farangs. that makes me happy.

 

Maybe the op should visit Hua Hin. Not so many sexpats here. Sort of boring in a good way.

 

Many married Farang/Thai couples here to socialize with. And many positive activities.

 

Don't forget to exercise so you don't get too depressed. and don't get played by you know who.

 

you are the boss of you.

 

 

[FritsSikkink]

54 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

That's an appealing thought, right up until there's something that can't be solved in Thailand with the funds available.  Sure, the base needs and impulses can be met quite handily with enough cash.  But not all needs, and cash doesn't always last as long as retirement.

 

What about missing family left behind, or the realization that it is tough to build a functional support network while surrounded mostly by fellow expats feeding their base desires for sex and booze, and locals whose economic reality has them looking at us like cash cows?

 

And there's no safety net for many guys who, through poor planning, bad luck, or scheming wives, lose their money.  At least back home, there's always a way to bring in a few bucks without having to keep your head down so you're not grassed up for WP violations, or for pursuing forbidden occupations.

 

I'm in the process of repatriating after working for around 7 years in Thailand.  I may be back.  But in the meantime, I'm going to see how it is back home, re-introduce myself to family I haven't seen in many years, work a few more years while I can, and then decide where to retire. 

 

I count my Thailand adventure as a positive in my life.  But I miss a lot of things back home that aren't available in Thailand at any price.  Maybe I won't like it back in Texas.  But I liked it there fine before I moved to Asia for the paycheck.

"it is tough to build a functional support network while surrounded mostly by fellow expats feeding their base desires for sex and booze"

Go live somewhere else so you are not surrounded by them but by people who live a normal live here.

[kurtmartens]

59 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

And there's no safety net for many guys who, through poor planning, bad luck, or scheming wives, lose their money.  At least back home, there's always a way to bring in a few bucks without having to keep your head down so you're not grassed up for WP violations, or for pursuing forbidden occupations.

 

Maybe I won't like it back in Texas.  But I liked it there fine before I moved to Asia for the paycheck.

Why is it that so my expats point to "scheming wives"?  If someone is stupid enough to marry someone without knowing the person or eyes wide open then it is really the "scheming" wife  to be blamed?  Bad wives and and bad husbands in every country; seems expats are quick to blame their bad luck on others when they have only themselves to blame.  (Sorry, bit of a soapbox I know.  Just find the blame game all too easy here.)

 

Funny enough, we (Thai wife and 2 wonderful kids) are moving to Texas this year as well.  

[KittenKong]

I dont regret coming here but I have no intention of staying here forever. I dont like the weather for a start, and I dont like the dishonesty and greed either.

It would be a very sad planet if Thailand was the best place on it.

[moe666]

Geez all the whining and crying about feeling like you are trapped. Just stop the way you are thinking you where thinking the same way when you moved to Thailand. I am trapped here at home I need a change. After a few years in Thailand the new wears off and you are back to the same place that brought you here to start with

[BritManToo]

All you need to go back is 350-400 pounds for the airfare.

[Jingthing]

4 minutes ago, KittenKong said:

I dont regret coming here but I have no intention of staying here forever. I dont like the weather for a start, and I dont like the dishonesty and greed either.

It would be a very sad planet if Thailand was the best place on it.

Well I for one am certainly not saying that Thailand is the best place on the planet. Just that personally with my age and specific circumstances, and the very decent setup I've created in Thailand, am extremely unlikely to ever do better. That's all. So if I do leave which could of course still happen, it will because of negative reasons (feeling the need to get out) rather than positive reasons (something better to move to). 

[worgeordie]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

All you need to go back is 350-400 pounds for the airfare.

Britain or Thailand..........let's think about it .....staying.

regards Worgeordie

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, worgeordie said:

Britain or Thailand..........let's think about it .....staying.

regards Worgeordie

When you get dementia you won't care.

Edited July 17, 2018 by BritManToo

[worgeordie]

Just now, BritManToo said:

When you get dementia you won't care.

Its starting already,

regards Worgeordie

[upu2]

Not a chance in hell I would leave Thailand. I love it here.

[fathersicksendmoney]

I will be heading back to OZ soon mainly for medical reasons. Best thing I did was buy a large condo near Nana Bts and have a long term expat tenant. This means a big bonus when withdrawing rent money in OZ due to the crap oz dollar which looks like tanking even more whilst the baht is strong

And punters keep saying dont buy in Thailand....WRONG

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, Pilotman said:

regret ever coming here in the first place?  For myself, I'm ambivalent at best  and have yet to settle to the idea of LOS as my 'final destination' in life. Maybe that will come, but, increasingly,  I'm not at all sure that it will.  The reasons are many and various, but I guess in the round, the serenity of retirement is missing somehow.   Too many hassles impinge on my life. 

I have no regrets about coming to Thailand and every regret about how it turned out. It was women I came for and a woman that destroyed it for me.

 

However, it was great as long as it was just holidays. Living here brings all sorts of problems that wouldn't occur back home and it ruins the magic and mystery that I loved.

 

However, when it's over, it's over. Either go home for better or worse, or skydive without a parachute.

It's just not a good idea to burn all the boats linking us with "back home".

[Maradona 10]

53 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

Love Thailand. Dirt cheap here. Never going back to USA.  And I had everything you could ask for there. Sold it all.

 

I live 100 meters from the beach in a rented three bedroom compound in a Thai neighborhood.

 

I don't live around Farangs. that makes me happy.

 

Maybe the op should visit Hua Hin. Not so many sexpats here. Sort of boring in a good way.

 

Many married Farang/Thai couples here to socialize with. And many positive activities.

 

Don't forget to exercise so you don't get too depressed. and don't get played by you know who.

 

you are the boss of you.

 

 

''Never going back to USA.  And I had everything you could ask for there. Sold it all.''

 

 

Yea, course you did. If you had everything in the US, was happy and successful, loving family and friends, there's not a chance in hell you would have decided to emigrate to Thailand. Makes ZERO sense. Not sure who you're trying to kid fella.

Edited July 17, 2018 by Maradona 10

[fathersicksendmoney]

It was definitely more fun as a tourist. I have friends that have a great life hunting and fishing back home and when the snow comes they head to Thailand and are always excited to be here

[impulse]

40 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

All you need to go back is 350-400 pounds for the airfare.

 

And 5,000 GBP to get set up with an apartment and furniture and another 2,500 GBP to buy a beater car to tide you over, and if you're American, another $1,000 USD a month for health insurance (and hope it covers you since you had some work done in Thailand), and..and..

 

It's not hard to see how some people end up feeling trapped wherever they happen to live, be it Thailand or a city back home where their last job left them stranded when they were downsized.

 

[GinBoy2]

I'm in the already moved home category. I lived full time in Thailand for close to 10 years. I'd sorta sum it up that it's a bit like watching a Hollywood movie, you need to seriously be able to suspend disbelief to survive.

As time moved on however I found that I was having to aggressively pull the wool over my eyes to ignore what was seriously pissing me off about the place.

In that 10 years it also became increasingly more expensive, where at the end, if you want to live like you would at home, it really wasn't any cheaper.

Health care was also another factor. Now I'm still a pretty healthy guy, but insurance really skyrockets the older you get here, versus in most western countries (even in the US f&&cked up system) when you retire you have piece of mind on that score. Ultimately, Thailand is not a place for old men, or women for that matter.

I'm fairly lucky, still owned a house back home, so when Mrs GB got her green card it was an easy option to repatriate.

Now I get the best of both worlds. We do the snowbird thing, summers in the US, then come back for 3 months in the winter. 12 weeks takes me back to it all feeling like a vacation, which is great. Then close up the house, get back on the plane to reality.

Now there are always those who for whatever reason refuse, deny, castigate anyone who dares to proffer any critism of living in Thailand, but to paraphrase George Smiley;

"it's because they are fanatics, and the fanatic is always concealing a secret doubt"

So in my mind, it's a great vacation destination, but live there full time? Been there, done that, got the teeshirt, but enough is enough.

Edited July 17, 2018 by GinBoy2

[duanebigsby]

1 hour ago, Maradona 10 said:

I have always believed that all of us given the choice would rather have a great life back in one's own land, if money was no object and had family etc.

 

What person in their own country who had everything a man needed and was happy with his lot woke up one morning and thought 'I think I'll move to Thailand'?

Anyone who got fed up with -45 °c winters perhaps??

[grollies]

58 minutes ago, KittenKong said:

I dont regret coming here but I have no intention of staying here forever. I dont like the weather for a start, and I dont like the dishonesty and greed either.

It would be a very sad planet if Thailand was the best place on it.

You've obviously never been to Manchester.

[impulse]

1 hour ago, Jingthing said:

...but not all of them will actually admit it (or self aware enough to realize it). 

 

Truer words were rarely spoken. 

 

For the life of me, I cannot understand someone spouting the bile we often read here on TVF, yet they stay where they seem absolutely miserable.  They seem to hate the people, the culture, the weather, the driving, the litter, the construction standards, and everything else about Thailand.  Yet, here they live.

 

I've tried to refrain from the classic "the flights run both ways" suggestion, but sometimes I think that's the most humane alternative on offer.

 

I can't imagine some of those guys leaving a life back home that made them more miserable than their life here seems to make them- if you believe their posts anyway.  Reinforces what one wise (but irritating) old guy told me when I was just getting sober:   Wherever you go... there you are.

 

[Lungstib]

I worked in the adventure tour business on three continents, having great fun but getting no money. Came to Thailand to be the tour manager on Bangkok to Bali tours that actually paid some wages. Sunk all I'd earned into a wife, her daughter, our son and a house to live in when Thailand changed the rules and my job was illegal. Adding to the problem my wife suffered postnatal depression. Thats when you have to dig deep. Found jobs around S E Asia, got the wife on medication, brought up two kids and found that what I missed with my wife I got from my kids. Its been tough but you cant keep running away. I've never had money so dont miss it. On my money its not cheap here, I'm like a local. But I've got a house, a garden, a banana orchard, a fishing pond, my own m'bike and share a car with the wife. Go back to the UK? Almost certainly worse. As somebody else said, "you make your own bed then you lie in it". I sleep well, eat well and find things to keep busy. If I wanted I couldn't go "home", its gone. I miss friends, few farangs where I live, the ones I have met I share no interests with. If you are happy with yourself you can live almost anywhere.